Partying with HT

BabyGirl has been gone for 3 full weeks. She came home on Wednesday. She went home with QM, spent a week and a half in TN, and then they took Pa and headed to Colonial Williamsburg, Virginia for a week.

I'm in the process of downloading and order prints from the 900 or so photos that came home from the trip. You can tell when people have fully forgotten the days of 24 exposures on a roll of 35 millimeter film. BabyGirl doesn't have a clue what "film" is and I'm pretty sure my folks have forgotten. But it's all worth it if it causes my daughter to tell me something anything about her trip.

When they brought her home, HT hitched a ride. Yesterday he came over to spend the day while QM and Daddy went shed shopping for Busha and Bucka. He spent the night, went to VBS with the FarmHands, and is hanging out with us today until Grammy and Pa come back after him.

This is my FB status from last night:

I am the worst aunt ever. I only let my nephew play Wii for 1 1/2 hours. I wouldn't let him watch Supernatural. I made him play outside today in the beautiful weather. I wouldn't let him stab his cousin with a pocket knife. I didn't let him run screaming at the chickens, horses, or goat. I wouldn't let him roast his own hotdog over the fire (I didn't let any of them as I wanted to eat & be in bed before 10 pm). I made him eat "all" of his hotdog before he got roasted marshmallows (there were still 3 good bites left when I let him share it with the dog). I made him take a shower. I made him help clean up the toys he got out so there will be room for him to sleep tonight.

On Wednesday I was awesome.

Today I'm pretty sure I suck.

But this boy is beyond entertaining- that is, when I'm not ruining his life by not letting him sleep in #1 Son's bed or making him eat his lunch at the kitchen table.

When he got here yesterday, the kids were at VBS so we had about 15 minutes on our own. He walked around the living room and kitchen (where he's been 500 times before), looks at me and says, in his best 22-year-old-seeing-his-buddy's-bachelor-pad-for-the-first-time tone, "Aunt FarmWife, I really like your place."

While making lunch yesterday I asked if he like pineapple. HT only has 2 settings: on top of the world, and depths of depression. He jumps and shouts, "YES! I LOVE THAT STUFF!" so I handed him a bit of dry pineapple I was snacking on. He bites in with relish, stops short, and stars at me like I grew a second head. "What is this stuff?!" I explained it. He rolled the piece around in his mouth for a moment, grimacing like he's trying to chew up earthworms, and finally says, "Aunt FarmWife, I like my pineapple wetted down."

After lunch he was laying in the living room floor. Suddenly he jumped up and ran to the living room window. "Is that a horse or a giant chicken?!"

What?

"Oh, nevermind. It's just a cow."

#1 Son told me a story from VBS this morning. The song leader asks the kids for "God sightings" everyday during closing ceremonies. The kids volunteer things they've seen in nature: clouds, a butterfly, wind, a squirrel, etc. Today was his first trip to VBS and, naturally, he needed to chime in. He raised his hand and told the song leader, "I got a new video game of Transformers and it's got MEGATRON!"

Yup. It's been real interesting.

Yahoo for us!

Miss T and I work very hard.  Most of the time.  We clean- a lot.  We spend a good deal of time planning our days in advance.  We lift and tote and inventory and list and shuffle and thaw and pack and organize our days away.  And sometimes we even cook.

This week I made turkey and noodles for around 150 people.  We had carrots and mashed potatoes and home school made hot rolls and some type of canned fruit (which are becoming the bane of my existence). We cooked our rear ends off.  I kid you not- I rolled and cut out more than 16 dozen hot rolls before 7 am. I cooked and stripped down 3 whole turkeys.  We baked almost 30 pounds of carrots (ran out of stove top space so they had to go in the oven- it worked).

The day following we served fish sandwiches.  They came pre-made and frozen.  All we had to do was bake  and bun them along with tri-corner hash browns, baked beans, and canned peaches.

Want to take a guess at which meals got us a giant, community, "THANK YOU!!" from the kindergarten through 2nd grade lunch class?  Which meal resulted in no less than 10 Junior High students coming to the kitchen to sing its praises?  Which meal made the third and fourth graders debate it merits and decide it was nearly the best thing we've yet to cook?

If you guessed the frozen fish sandwiches, you would be correct.

Truth be told, my feelings were not at all hurt.  The past 2 months have taught me that something I love, the kids will dump in the trash and things I won't touch with a 10 foot pole.  I do not take their refusal to eat something personally but I do really love being told they enjoyed something- even when I have little to do with it's actual preparation.

In other good work news- Miss T and I had a visit from the health inspector this week and we aced our inspection.  Not bad for a couple of newbies.

A glimpse

I love my job.  I love seeing the kids (mine and others) walk past my line.  I like laughing with them, teasing them, hearing about their days, lives, and adventures.  I love being around them.  I should point out that I am exposed to them in rather brief intervals, unlike their teachers.  That is perfect for me.

But then there are days, and there are children, who make my job really hard.  Actually more sad than hard. There are kids you want to wrap up and take home with you because you know no one at their house pays them any attention.   Kids with potential but no one to encourage them. There are kids you know are living in households that couldn't care less about them or their education.  There are kids who aren't being parented at all and crave that adult interaction.

Then there are the kids who've given up at the ripe age of 12 or 13.  Kids who not only have issues with authority, but have no use for it at all. Kids who would shock me if they graduate high school.  Kids who think discipline in any form is a joke and doesn't apply to them.  Kids who will look you in the eye and do exactly what they know they should not.

It makes me wish my children knew just how blessed they are but at the same time, I'm glad they're oblivious to it.  That means they have no idea that life doesn't always take care of kids their age.

Mama says to keep praying for the kids at school.  I am and I'd be happy if I knew you were, too.  It's an unpleasant eye opener.  I want to learn to deal with it without becoming hardened to it.

Bless her little heart.

There's a little boy from school who's had to have heart valve replacement surgery this summer.  We've been praying for him and talking about him a lot the past week or so.  He's going into first grade and is the sweetest little boy you'd ever want to meet.

Today we picked up some art goodies for him at the store to help keep him happily occupied this summer.  We're planning on taking them to him sometime this week.  Bitsy got a bit bent out of shape about giving him stuff when she wasn't getting anything (such a generous heart that one has, ha, ha, ha).  I explained that we were getting him some art stuff because he can't go outside and run around and play and go swimming this summer like she can.  "Why not?"

"Well, because A had to have surgery, sweetie."

"Like you did, Mommy?"

"Sort of.  But I just had to have a little cut in my belly.  He's had to have a big cut in his chest.  It's going to take A a lot longer to get better than it's taken me."

"Why did A have to have a big cut on his chest?"

"Because part of his heart needed to be fixed so he had heart surgery."

Then Bitsy got very quite and though rather hard for a bit.  "Mommy, does A still love Jesus?"

I was seriously taken back by this.  "What, Baby?"

"Does A still love Jesus?"

Then it sunk in.  "Do you mean because he had to have heart surgery and Jesus lives in our hearts?"

"Yes.  Does Jesus still live in A's heart even after the doctors did surgery?"

"Yes, Baby.  Jesus still lives in A's heart just like He lives in yours.  Doctors cannot take Jesus out of our hearts."

"OK.  Good." And off she went.

I kid you not.

Friday was Civil War Day at school. BabyGirl asked me to volunteer so I went and helped with the games. I spent all day helping another mom corral 3rd, 4th, and 5th graders while teaching them to play blind man's bluff and button, button, who's got the button?

One boy from another school showed up in Confederate officer dress uniform complete with brass colored buttons. He was pretty proud of himself. I remarked on his costume & our conversation when something like this:

Me- Wow. That's a cool uniform you've got on. Where did you get it?
Boy- We ordered it.
Me- Well, I really like it.
(brief pause)
Boy- You wanna' smell my buttons?
Me- Excuse me?
Boy- Do you want to smell my buttons?
Me- Um...
Boy #2- (pops out behind his buddy) Smell them! They smell like bat guano!
Me- What?!
Boy #2- Really, they smell like bat guano!
Boy- Yeah, they do.
Me- Thanks, but I think I'll pass.

I couldn't make this up if I tried.

Communing with nature

My early morning post today brought up some memories of my childhood & out door play. Ordinary Sarah mentioned that she's reading a book called Last Child in the Woods. When I looked it up it piqued my curiosity. If I'm reading reviews correctly it's about a child's need to commune with nature so to speak.

My kids, with the exception of BabyGirl who cannot abide getting hot, spend a great deal of time out of doors. We have 10 acres. They have the run of most of it for most of the year. They play kick ball in a field their dad keeps mowed down for them complete with the diamond shape mowed into the grass. They have a tree house, a play house/swing set, a sand box, a stand alone swing set and out door toys galore. They have a creek to explore complete with a steep drop off they can climb with a rope their dad tied up for them. There's a pond to fish in; a pool to swim in; dogs to chase; cats to cuddle. They have no lack of out side stuff to do....unless you ask them & then they'll tell you there's never anything to do around here.

Until I was almost 13 we lived in town; Neighbors, traffic, sidewalks and all. When we moved to Tennessee we moved into a new house in a new subdivision. There were 2 streets and 3 houses total on (I'm guessing) 20 acres of land. Bubba, Princess, and I had the run of the entire area. It was surrounded by a fenced in dairy farm so we knew exactly how far we could wander before we were out of our "neighborhood."

We spent hours riding bikes, running up & down the hill between our house & the only other occupied house in the neighborhood, playing make-believe, and exploring our new environment. The first summer we were there, our aunt & uncle & cousins came to visit. During their visit, Daddy & Uncle took all of us to some small cliffs that were hidden from view until you got right up to them. We spent hours trying to climb up them and running in & around them.

That same summer a friend came to spend the weekend with me & ended up staying 3 weeks including one at church camp. Together we got more adventurous than I would ever have been on my own. We wandered down by the creek at the bottom of the subdivision and spent days sitting in a small secluded area having pic-nics and playing games.

For a girl who grew up in a fenced in back yard with limits as to how far down the block & in which direction I was allowed to ride my bike, it was an amazing adventure. I've never been the outdoorsy type, but I'd like to think that 13 year old girl is still lurking below the surface. She comes out every now & then when the FarmHands find a new bend in the creek or hollow tree to play in. She's shy, but I'm hoping she can be coaxed out more often.....and her kids are amazed by sidewalks & cul-d-sacs.

Exorcism of sorts

I have a hard time letting go of things. Especially when they are in any way traumatic. The incident I mentioned yesterday is one of those things, and I'm hoping blogging about it will help me stop dwelling on it. Nothing serious happened, but it was just enough to put me on edge for hours afterwards.

We were in a small town near the half way mark of our trip home last night when #1 Son decided he was on the verge of dehydration (forget that he'd just finished a juice box & drank all his milk for the trip already). Husband wanted to get gas since it was 10-12 cents cheaper there than here, so we pulled into a Casey's gas station. I marched the three older FarmHands in to use the bathroom & get 2 bottles of water for them to share.

When we got to the bathroom, the attendant was almost done cleaning it, so we waited around the back of the store until she was done. I told the kids exactly what was going to happen (they need specifics sometimes). "We're going potty...everyone get the job completely done because we aren't stopping again until we're home. Then I'm going to buy 2 bottles of water. In the van I'm going to put half a bottle of water in Daddy's empty cup from McDonald's & #1 Son gets that(he'd already eaten all the ice out of his dad's cup, so I figured he should be the one to drink out of it). B.B. gets the rest of that bottle & BabyGirl gets a bottle." Then #1 Son says he wants some more ice in his cup. I told him no, just water, we didn't have any ice. He starts eyeing the 10 pound bags of ice in the freezer by us. "We could get one of those!" I explain that it would melt & I don't want 10 pounds of water in my van floor. The boys start trying to figure out a way to get the giant bag of ice the rest of the 2 hours home.

While we were waiting I noticed a man lingering by the Lotto machine a few feet from us. He looked to be in his late 50's or early 60's, was not what I would call well groomed, and was carrying a black cane. I knew he was listening (it's hard not to in a store that small & kids as young as mine) but didn't think much of it. I'm used to people listening to us. We're not a quiet bunch.

One of the boys went to the freezer & I was afraid he was going to open it, so I brought him back to stand by me & said, "We are not getting ice." The man turned & said, "Come here." I started to ignore him because I wasn't 100% sure who he was talking to & to be honest, he made me a bit uncomfortable (he reminded me of someone I have issues with). He said it again & I said, "Me?" He said yes & I took a small step in his direction (he wasn't far from me). My kids followed me instinctively & the man looked at them & said, "Not you. Get back." They got nervous & all stepped even closer to me. I put my hand out to gently direct them behind me & nodded for them to stay back but still keep close. They were watching him very intently & he said again, "Not you. Just your Mama. Now get back." This really freaked #1 Son out & he tried to walk up & get a hold of me. When he did, the man raised his cane to push #1 Son back.

That was it. My head snapped around to face him & I said, "Um. Do NOT poke my children with your cane. What do you want?" He looked taken back by my reaction & said, "Oh, I wasn't gonna' poke them," and I kept staring him down. He finally told me something about getting a cup with ice in it for a quarter & I said, "OK. I'll check that later." Then I stepped away & pulled all three of the kids close to me.

Just then the attendant came out & let us in the bathroom. I had been thinking I'd let the boys go in one & BabyGirl in the other while I waited in the middle (they were both single toilet bathrooms, so no one would be in with them), but after that I wasn't about to let anyone out of my sight. When we came out, he was gone. I got our water & paid for the gas & headed out the door.

As we started across the parking lot I saw him talking to a couple filling up their car just behind our van. I ushered the kids quickly into the van keeping myself between him & them & keeping them close together. When we got the doors shut, I locked them quickly to Husband's surprise (our van locks when you put it in gear). As we pulled out of the station I told him what happened. Husband didn't seem phased by it. I, on the other hand, was a bit sick at my stomach most of the trip home.

I kept replaying the incident in my mind & I really believe he meant no harm. He was trying to help me out....but he went about it entirely the wrong way & instead made me angry & scared.

The boys were completely unfazed by the entire thing. They barely remember it happening. B.B. said, "He was a stranger, so I didn't talk to him." BabyGirl said she was scared that he was going to kidnap them. I told her that I would never let anyone take them away from me & she said, "I was afraid he was going to kidnap you too!" I assured her that her daddy was right out side & no one was getting past him. She seems happy with that promise.

I've always wondered how well I would deal with someone doing something to my kids that I was not comfortable with (especially a stranger, I've had to deal with issues with Husband's sister's attempts to discipline them against my wishes, but that's another very long story) and I've always feared I'd succumb to panic & be useless. I tend to panic in emergencies, just ask the Queen Mother about me & the fire alarm at the museum when I was 11. Yesterday I was proud of myself. Part of me wishes I would have told him immediately not to tell my children what to do, but in the end the Mama Bear in me (as Inkling would call it) came out. While no teeth were used, I'm pretty sure they were shown just enough.

Wrapping up our summer vacation.

Good news, Y'all. Sarah has extended the Hot Mama Revolution Shopping Spree Challenge until the end of the month! So click, read, and shop! Who doesn't want a $25 dollar Target Gift card as a reward for showing off your style?

I think the Good Lord has given us a bit of a break. With the long, hot, difficult summer nearly behind us, we've been blessed by a beautiful weekend. The weather never got truly hot & it's not supposed to for the next few days. The FarmHands played outdoors most of the weekend. Husband mowed down the field and moved the electric fence. If you've ever been to our house, that means our yard now starts at the road & reaches to the back cow pen & all the way to the creek on the East side. It's HUGE!! My guess is our yard is now pushing 2 acres. All I can say is I'm glad I don't mow. It's not in my contract.

I've taken two long rides on the 4 wheeler all by myself this weekend. Now I understand why he's forever taking off on that thing to "go 'round the block." Country blocks are big things.....easily more than 6 miles all the way around. Just tooling along in the open air, early in the evening....I could do it everyday.

When I got home from my little trip last night, he had mowed a softball diamond in the side yard for the FarmHands. We played baseball (sort of) and kick ball all evening. They had a wonderful time....until BabyGirl & B.B. started arguing over who's turn it was.

School starts Thursday. Our summer is going out with watermelon, sweet corn, puppies, a trip to the newly improved local playground, and lots of time spent covered in dirt rolling through the grass. I may even miss it.

We have Rock!

Hooray! #1 Son has passed the rock he swallowed. We are officially done with poop patrol & the little potty. I am glad. Sifting through poo is not my favorite past time.

In less disgusting news, Husband did not get chosen for the jury. He did get a day off work, so that was a blessing. The kids were thrilled. I was relieved. It was all good.

One of these sweeties is going to come home to live with Busha & Bucka in a few weeks. They're about 4 weeks old (we think). There is debate over whether or not to get two pups, but that probably won't be fully settled for a while.


Yesterday I packed the FarmHands up & we took a tour of the country side. We started off at the playground in the little town where they go to school. Then we headed to Busha's to drop off some Amish Friendship bread starter (which I think, if left to it's own devices, could take over the world) and visit for a bit. After that we hit up the playground in the town our address says we live in. On the way home from there, we passed by Lexi's house (she's Unkie Di's cousin). Lexi was riding horses with her cousins. When we stopped & said hi she asked if I had the kids in van. When I said yes she asked if they wanted to ride her pony. The kids were thrilled.

Lexi has two miniature horses that she's trained. They pull a cart & the largest can be ridden by small children. Lexi got on Dove first and her feet nearly touched the ground as she rode around the yard. Then she took each of the three oldest FarmHands on a trip around the yard. They were in seventh heaven.

Then we headed to Uncle E's to tell J about all the fun we'd had.

It was a good day!

Things were Good.

Oh wonderful Mufers-Day. Oh lovely Mufers-Day. How special & loved was I. I hope you were as well.

As is tradition on Sunday mornings, I got up & threw Pillsbury Cinnamon Roll Bite in the oven & told everyone to "Please. Be. Quiet. It's too early to be awake." (Oh, insert note, Friday Morning on the Today Show.....New Kids On the Block!!! Set your TiVos.)

When BabyGirl woke up she quickly informed the boys of the momentous occasion & everyone made a mad dash for their underwear drawers. The bounty was brought forth to be gushed over while B.B. cried that he couldn't find his Mufers-Day for me. Then he repeatedly told me, "I am SO GLAD it's Mufers-Day, Mommy!! Aren't you glad it's Mufers-Day?! I am so glad!"

#1 Son made me a coupon book at school. While I may not get quite the CVS deals Aunt Silverbelle's been garnishing lately, I do get "help in the kitchen" 3 times, the pets fed 10 times, his room cleaned once, and 50 hugs. That beats free air freshener any day.

BabyGirl gave me a tiny flower pot with a plant starting plug & a tiny envelope of strawberry seeds. We're hoping they grow & we didn't inadvertently wash the seeds away when we watered them. She also glued a poem in the yellow card & wrote "Happy Mother's Day" in her fanciest hand writing. There's a purple flower with a message written on the back of each petal. "Thank you for helping me with my homework." "Thank you for taking me to Chuck E. Cheese."
"Thank you for buying me Barbies."

B.B. (and the other kids) gave me a card with puppies on it. Husband wrote Mommy on the card & let each kid color a letter. Then they eached picked a puppy & wrote their names under it (that's what I intterupted Saturday morning). Last night he told me about all the drama involved in picking the puppies & coloring the letters....it's a wonder the card survived until Sunday morning!

At church the boys & Bitsy made cards (by "made" I mean the teachers wrote their names in the cards) in Sunday School with a poem about planting flowers together. Each card has a pack of flower seeds stapled inside. I now have Marigolds, African Daisies, and California Poppies to plant.

After chruch the kids & I came home & picked up Husband. We headed to town for lunch. The kids all wanted McDonalds, so we went through the drive-thru for Happy Meals & Husband's lunch. Then they took me to the Chinese buffet for a take-out tray. We parked the van at the park & chowed down (couldn't get out of the van due to rain & horrible winds).

After lunch we stopped by the new Family Video store in town & ended up with 6 movies for $3! They have great deals on older movies & half off movies for the first 30 days. We got The Bee Movie, Superman III, a Garfield cartoon, a Barbie Fairytopia movie, The Good Shepard, and Vanity Fair. So we spent the remainder of the day lounging around the house, watching videos, and wrestling.

It was a good day. And I have leftovers for today!

Little BIL flies into Indy today. Please pray he makes it home safely! We're all anxious to see him!

Extreme Gardening

As I've stated before, we don't own a tiller. A 25' x 40' patch of dirt is a little tough to break down into planting material without some kind of mechanical help. So my husband, FarmBoy MacGyver that he is, took a 60 year old disk we were using as a lawn ornament & hitched it up to the back of his four wheeler (we live in the country, people...we can use old farming equipment & other junk as decor...I have a pink sink in my flowerbed).

When the kids & I got home from church he was nearly finished turning the garden over by hand & had made a few passes with the disk. It wasn't heavy enough to dig deep, so he had me drive the AVT while he stood on the disk. Extreme gardening? Disk Surfing? Death by Lawn Decor? Call it what you will. It worked. Thank God he's a country boy!

We also made a quick trip to Rural King to get fertilizer, a new garden hoe, seeds, & a garden weasel. While there we ran into Uncle Gick & Unkie Di. Husband & Uncle Gick talked tillers & gardening. Just after Husband came in for the evening, Uncle Gick pulled up the drive hauling Bucka's tiller. So Husband has now dug, disked, tilled, fertilized, & planted onions & carrots. We are officially gardening!

I'm going to have some serious canning & freezing to do this summer. Guess I should start figuring out what I want to do now so we can plant accordingly. BTW, Kork, can I have your tomato sauce recipe (I know your Italian self doesn't go for Ragu) so I can can fresh homemade marinara? That just sounds yummy!

We're putting the FarmHands to work too. What exactly are your thoughts on child labor? Don't worry, we're not paying them...so technically it's child slave labor. I'm all for it. But unfortunately, they only work about 3 1/2 minutes before demanding Popsicles. We won't get far that way.

We have a Winner...

First of all, I must announce that Ang won the pot. I got to take the truck (all by myself mind you) and drive the entire 1 mile to Uncle E's house yesterday afternoon to return movies NM lent me. But when I got there no one was home to share in my triumph. Ahhh me. So Ang is the proud recipient of $325,000 virtual dollars. Enjoy the spoils, girl!

If you're looking for a good movie to watch this week, try August Rush. It was excellent. I may watch it again this afternoon.

Only two days of Spring Break left. I wonder if we'll survive...

The Queen Mother and Art the Omnipotent left for their vacation yesterday. I miss them already. They live 5 hours from me, so it's not like I see them everyday...and they both have cell phones, so it's not like I won't be able to talk to them either. I only wish I could go lay on the beach with them for a few hours this week.

I am rather embarrassed to admit this, but part of my issues yesterday stemmed from the fact that the FarmHands broke my rocking chair. Not a big one that I use now...my little one that I got for my first Christmas (maybe). It's been well loved & well used. It made me sad, adding to the melancholy.

Last night I decided to put in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to watch with the FarmHands. The way that movie (and book) explain Christ's sacrifice really helps make it real for them. They fully understand that Aslan died in Edmund's place & why. When I link it back to what Jesus did for us, they are amazed. I may make this a tradition in our house...along with hiding empty eggs.

Really, what's the point in filling 60 eggs with candy only to dump the candy all back out in a communal candy bowl? I don't let the kids do the dumping or the filling, so why bother? If I'm going to give them candy (which I really may stop doing all together) why not just put it in their baskets & let them find empty eggs. They don't care if there's anything in them....

Well, I'm off to referee the FarmHands who've done nothing but fight this morning.

Here comes the rain again....and again....and again.

Sing it Annie Lennox.

There isn't normally a stream running through our field. Yes, there is a small pond. You can see the edge of it on the left side of the picture...well, it's usually small. Today, not so much. In normal conditions (which I'm beginning to think we may never again see) it's about 50 feet across & around 5 feet deep in the middle. Last summer it was about 2 feet deep in the middle. Right now you'd just get swept back out the other side into the front field if you tried to wade out to check it's depth.

There is also not normally a small pond next to our driveway. At the moment it's coming over top of the drive as the culvert under the drive is slightly plugged & isn't letting the water flow through as fast as it needs to.

I think last spring I was considering building an Ark. Today I'm wishing we had a pontoon boat. Might save us on gas. I could probably make it all the way to Wal-Mart if I kept to the flooded ditches. I wonder if Husband could build us one out of the old washing machine he keeps stored in the shed.

And guess what! It's going to rain all day today, all night tonight, and probably all day tomorrow. Yippee. (Sarcasm doesn't exactly read well does it?)

I may be asking too much, but with the kids starting a full week of spring break today (oh, and I didn't realize it was a full week. For some reason I thought they had to go back on Monday), couldn't we just have a few dry days? A few sunny days? A few days when the entire yard isn't under water? What am I going to do with a group of hyper housebound over sugared ("Thank you, Easter Bunny") children for a full week?! It's even too wet to take them to Uncle E's to play tonight. They'd be soaked before they made it to the van.

I really should have planned better...we could have gone to Tennessee this week. Or at least floated there. Too bad QM & Art are headed to Florida. Now I'm just depressed.

I wonder if pregnant cows can swim...........

To grandmother's house we go

We went to Bucka & Busha's tonight (I was hiding from my father since he's going to pop my mouth for cussing in open letter). After an hour or so, the kids dug out Busha's collection of Little People. QM has stocked her up well. She has the Nativity set, shepherds in the fields, and Little Drummer Boy, along with the First Thanksgiving set & the Mayflower ship. Eventually Baby Jesus took a trip on the Mayflower with "pirates" while the "Angel Gabe" zoomed around the room singing about his dead sister. Baby Jesus set off to kill bad guys while Priscilla & Miles Standish had the wise men over for Thanksgiving dinner. Camels, donkeys, and sheep milled around in the shadow of the Mayflower & ate a giant pumpkin. It was all very fascinating.

Busha made us pizza & apple pie for dinner. When she called the pizza "pizza pie," B.B.'s curiosity was piqued. He stood watch at the oven waiting to eat his pee-za-pie, alternately stating "I don't like pee-za-pie," and "Busha, I wanna' eat dat pee-za-pie now. When can I eat my pee-za-pie?" He took one bite of the pizza, spit it out, and told Busha, "I don't like pee-za-pie wif ropes in it." Cheese is 'ropes', I think.

After we got in the van to leave, the kids discovered they hadn't eaten any pie, so I had to go back in & get some for them (Busha had offered to send it with us to begin with, but I thought they'd forgotten it). As I was getting back in the van I heard them all shouting, "Hurry up, Mom! The coyotes are coming! Get in the van!!" I assured them coyotes would not attack the van & there was nothing to worry about. "Mom, they are coming. We saw them," B.B. says. I told them Coyotes are afraid of vans & won't come near them. B.B. responds, "We tan step on spiders." Um...yeah, but what does that have to do with coyotes? "I stepped on a spider once. I stepped on a crab once. It pinched my toe." I told him he was full of buttermilk (Bucka's favorite phrase). "Yeah, I am 'cause I ate butter! I ate applebutter, so I am full of applebutter milk!"

Seriously?!

Look closely. In the picture you may find a baby sleeper, a burp cloth, a lingere bag, a small bath towel, a bath sheet, two bath robes, a bath mat, a toilet training seat, all the tub toys my kids own, a geography coloring book, and the step stool. All courtesy of B.B.

Oh, and the boys were in the tub with all this. Oh yes, I was an unhappy mother. A screaming banshee of a mother. A "What. Were. You. Thinking?" mother. An "On what planet is this acceptable?" mother. A "Why exactly did you not call me when your brother began to pile everything not nailed down into the tub of water?" mother.

This after the screaming/clawing fight BabyGirl & #1 Son had over her new exercise ball while I was trying to talk to the OT on the phone this afternoon. For the first time when I heard my children scream, "He/She's trying to kill me!" I believed them.

And can I mention that B.B. will not stay out of Bitsy's play pen tonight?

Forget Calgon....Jose Cuervo, take me away.

Bits & Pieces

There's a commercial on TLC for the newest season of Trading Spaces. They're bringing Paige Davis back to host. I'm thrilled. I love Paige...not the point of my story, though. The commercial came on last night & it BabyGirl watched it intently. At the end they say, "She's here to (blah, blah, blah) and tear out your ceiling fan!" BabyGirl leaped up & shouted, "That's just mean! Why would she tear out people's ceiling fans? They need those. It might get hot in their houses!" I said, "That's just what they do on that show. They redecorate." "Well, it's still mean." I agree. If Hilda Santo Tomas showed up at my door, I'd lock it & call 911. She scares me. I do not need some strange woman gluing straw to my door. My kids track enough of it in on their clothes!

******

I was heading out the door after tucking the boys in a few nights ago when I heard B.B. holler at me. I asked what was wrong & he said, "On my birf-day, my cake wants a be blue & my tandles wanna' be red." OK, Bud...your birthday isn't for 9 months, but I'll keep that in mind.

******

We had pizza for lunch. After he was done eating, #1 Son asked if I would give Bitsy some pizza. I told him she wasn't big enough for pizza yet. He said, "You can put it in her sucky thing & she can eat it!" (The sucky thing is a mesh Baby Safe Feeder. I put bananas in it yesterday for her & he was fascinated.)

******

Friday night I went to round the kids up for bedtime stories only to find B.B. tucking 3 stuffed animals into his bed. As he followed me from the room, he turned & pointed all 4 of his fingers at his bed (a signature B.B. gesture) and sang, "Good night my beautiful babies!" Precious.

Spanky Pants for Pups & a Hot Fudge Nightmare

"Oh wow, Lilly! I like your Do-do Dora pants. Dem are nice Do-do Dora pants. Mommy, why is Lilly wearing Dora pants?" Yeah, anyone out there want to field the questions about dogs in heat? They're still marveling over the fact that Luke has two wives.

Yesterday Husband came in the house & asked if I was up to a trip to DQ with the kiddos. The plan was to order many different kinds of ice cream & let everyone share (maybe this is why we all get sick together). The kids were thrilled with the idea until they were told to pick up their rooms. BabyGirl tackled hers head on (who are you & what have you done with my daughter), but the boys collapsed under the weight of responsibility.

When it came time to get dressed (it was 1:30 in the afternoon), BabyGirl went into full meltdown. I know you think I'm exaggerating, but this kid could give Joan Crawford a run for her money. Sustained screaming & flailing the entire 15 miles to town. No joke. She can really suck the joy out of an outing. But the best part is that once the van was parked & she had to get out, all was well in the world. Sunshine & Roses. She smiled & chatted with the cashier, "I'd like a banana split, please." Dr. Jekyll & Mr.Hyde much? And the child who screamed, "I'm itchy! It's too hot for clothes!!" all the way to town was freezing 1/2 way through her banana split. "Can I use Bitsy's blanket? I'm really cold!"

Note to self: Stop ordering Peanut Buster Parfaits. Just order a small hot fudge sundae with peanuts. Then you won't have leftovers in the freezer for 3 days.

Letter from an Irate Mother:

This is a copy of an email I sent out Saturday morning to our local NBC station, Youth for Human Rights, and Qubo (the group responsible for Saturday morning cartoons on NBC).

To whom it may concern,
My name is FarmWife & I am the mother of 4 young children. My oldest child is 6 & my youngest is 5 months. We regularly watch Qubo on WTWO channel 2 out of Terre Haute, IN. My children love the shows. I'm thrilled that you are showing Veggie Tales, 3-2-1 Penguins, & Larry-Boy along with other educational and uplifting programs. The programming is something I've felt safe letting them watch, until today.

While watching Dragon (which is obviously geared towards very young children) an ad from Youth for Human Rights came on. On the TV was a terrified man bound & blindfolded, tied to a post with a knife to his throat, guns pointed at him, men screaming at him. My six year old ran from the room, ears covered, nearly in tears. My four year old & three year old were horrified. I was shocked. I thought some how the channel had been changed & they were now watching something they're not allowed to watch. When I realized the commercial was for a youth organization & they were still watching Dragon, I was livid.

I understand the need to get children involved at a young age. I support the efforts of groups fighting against the atrocities shown on the commercial. But I cannot sit silently by & allow this to be viewed by my young children. Why is it necessary to show something so graphic & unsettling during a show Rated TV-Y? Can it not be left to parents to introduce this subject matter to their children when & if they find it appropriate? I don't know if I've missed this commercial in the past, but I now know I can't let my kids watch your shows any longer for fear of what they'll see during commercial breaks.

I'm sending this email to the local station we were watching, the group that produced the show we were watching, & the group responsible for the ad. I ask that you all reconsider what ads you show & more importantly, when they are shown.

Thank you.
FarmWife

This morning I received 2 emails from the local station. The first read:

I am researching to see if this was a psa run locally, or nationally.

And the second read:

Thanks to your complaint we are contacting the Ad Council for some new Public Service Announcements. The spot you saw was also provided by the Ad Council, but we agree we can find some spots that are more "kid friendly".

Both were from the EVP/COO of Nexstar Broadcasting Group.
It's good to know someone was listening. I'll let you know if I get a response from the other two organizations.

A little bit of my life

Tomorrow is Bucka's surgery. Please pray.

Tonight is the kids' Christmas program at school. Husband had to work. I will attend on my own with all 4 kids. Please pray. #1 Son promises to sing "the bob part" of jingle bells as loud as he screams when he's playing outside. I said I'd just like him to sing nicely instead. BabyGirl may flat refuse to wear her costume (ie sweat suit) because it's "itchy." She may be the only person in the free world who thinks a brand new sweat suit is itchy.

Yesterday I got my Christmas shopping done. Yeah me!! Well, Husband helped, so Yeah him too. I even got my own gifts. I now own the entire Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy (once again, feeding into my love of all things Johnny Depp). Today, Captain Jack Sparrow and Davey Jones have moved into my house. This may end in a trip to the ER. Oh, I hope not.

And finally:


OK, so I've not seen the video, so if it's secretly obscene, let me know. I heard the song yesterday for the first time & Love, love, loved it!!

Look at me, I'm beautiful and glamorous in rubber gloves
Look how my tiara can be bent back to the shape it was
I can do the laundry and make dinner while I'm on the phone
Look at me, I'm sexy as the devil when I mow the lawn


OK, so I never mow the lawn....this may be my new Hot Mama theme song!

Uncle Little BIL comes home

The girls were thrilled to have Uncle Little BIL show up unexpectedly at school. The entire thing was worth it when I saw the look on Niece E's face. She's 10 & was heart broken when he left for South Korea. Yesterday she was walking down the hall at school when I said, "Hey, E, you're riding home with us today." "I am?" "Yeah, because I brought someone with me." That's when she saw him. Her entire face lit up. She just stood there grinning at him until he asked for a hug. Then she kind of jumped at him. It was precious!

The other two were excited too, but since both BabyGirl & Neice T were so young when he left, they were a little more reserved. My boys took to him with no problem. I wondered about B.B. since he was only about 19 months old when Little BIL left. There was no need to worry as all day yesterday all I heard was, "Tum here, Uncle BIL. Pway tars wiff me, Uncle BIL. Wanna' see Mommy's bafroom, Uncle BIL? Dat's your picture, Uncle BIL!" He's coming back to play again today.

I picked BabyGirl up from school on Wednesday so we could go visit with Busha & Bucka. As we were walking out to the van she said, "Mom. Trevor wrote me two notes today." Really. Were they love notes? "Yeah, but I threw them away because I've had about enough of that."

We've sold one more puppy. That leaves three left to be sold. I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Bitsy and #1 Son are both on sleeping strikes. This has to stop soon or I may have to check myself into rehab to treat exhaustion...oh, no, wait, I'm not a Hollywood "it girl." I'll just have to deal with it.