February 19, 2008

What's grosser than gross?

I'm beginning to think B.B. has a rare condition known as Fecalphelia. He began developing symptoms at a very young age. The first & most traumatizing incident took place when he was about 9 months old. He was in the tub with his older brother. I turned around long enough to get the baby wash out of the cabinet. When I came back to the tub, I noticed B.B. trying to eat something. I quickly pried the object away from him, only to discover it was poo. His brother's poo. (Yes, at the time I could easily differentiate between the boys' poos.)

The summer after he turned 1, he was toddling happily along in the yard when he tried to sample some chicken poo. Can I just say, that was almost worse than him trying to eat #1 Son's poo? Chickens are dirty creatures.

Then there was the Wal-Mart incident that involved what should be praise & worship music. Putting the word Poop into the song Awesome God borders on sacrelige.

Last night Bitsy was fussing at him to play with her, so I told B.B. to sing the Jonah song to her since it's his new favorite. He replied, "I tant sing dat song to her, Mommy. Everytime I sing it it gets poop in it." What do you mean, B.B.? "I hava sing da word 'poop' in dat song, so I tan't sing it now."

This morning he was eating the last of a bowl of grapes when he pulled out a rotten one. "Mom, what is dis? Is dis grape poop?"

I'm beginning to wonder if his facination with poop may be causing his compulsion to pile things up. It could be all a metaphor...you know...cow piles...manure...piles of toys...OK, so it's a stretch, but it seems feasable to me.

(This is the pile he made this morning while I was IMing Mommy to 4 Little People.)

This all leads me to wonder if the whole handfull of poop thing that won me a sponge & Target gift card was part of his grand scheme. Is he attempting to infect the rest of us with his illness? Are we to become a family full of Fecalpheliacs? Is the call of "someone come wipe my butt" going to suddenly stop being met with a cringe & shout of "wipe your own butt, you're three years old!"? Will I begin to embrace the mess that is Bitsy?

And speaking of Bitsy's messes, I changed her diaper this weekend only to find a well chewed piece of playing card thing (from a Happy Meal the kids got at Christmas). Oh yes, it had passed all the way through.

Maybe it's not B.B. that has the problem. Maybe it's me. Seriously, search the words 'poo' or 'poop' in this blog & see what you get (or just click the links...I did the work for you). When did this blog become devoted to poop? Why didn't you all warn me? This is bad.

But if it is B.B.'s problem, do I need to start him a blog of his own solely devoted to poo? BabyGirl has hers...could B.B.'s issues help another family work through their own poop problems?

To any of you who may be new here, especially anyone Kork gave my blog address to at Church this weekend, I'll really try to clean up my act. I sincerely apologize. I don't know what's come over me.


a wandering heart said...

Ok, that didn't help my nausea any...

Kork said...

I'm sorry you're making your friends sick!!! Poor A Wandering Heart...just breathe slowly and deeply...you'll feel better!

And Farmie...I think that B.B. developed his issue from coming out backwards...ask Unkie Di and Aunt Gick...maybe they know the answer. If all else fails, blame you MIL...she should be at fault for SOMETHING that's wrong in your life right?!?!?! ;)

OK...for those who don't me too well, I'm totally teasing about MIL...FarmBoy's folks (whom I've met all of once) didn't seem too odd...

FarmWife said...

Sorry, Ladies. This is just where the wind blew me today. ;)

Mommy to 4 little people said...

ROTFL!! OMG!! That is too funny! No one ever told you that Motherhood was all about poo???? LOL! I am sure it gets better PG inserts the word poop into every knock knock joke...I am truly tired of poop being the punch line. She also sings about it all the time too....come to think of it maybe we should start a blog soley devoted to our youngster's obsessions with poop....????
BTW love the couch pillow mountain :)

Ht's Princess said...

Well you do have to realize that he is Unkle Gick's great nephew!