Snowmageddon 2012

 It has hit.  In a Big, Bad way.  Luckily there was very little ice before the massive snow storm hit around 1:40 this morning.  Here we are, 14 hours and 9 inches of snow or so later & it's still coming down.  Husband keeps shoveling a patch in the back for the dogs to use when they need out but snow keeps sliding off the roof & filling in his hard worked open spot.

Unfortunately that means I have snowy dogs coming back in every 2 hours & my carpet isn't happy.

We did let the FarmHands go out to play this morning. 30 minutes of dressing and fussing and crying because no one had boots that fit for 15 minutes of playing outside followed by 3 hours of laundry to recover from the excursion wasn't entirely worth it in my book, but if the hadn't been out I'd have never heard the end of it.  Mama went outside with them only to be the last out the door and the first back in (after getting everyone else dressed and out I had to come back in with the first FarmHand that got too cold...Bitsy).  Now I'm paying the price for a free fall into a snow angel.  It was much easier when I was 9.  At 36 my neck didn't handle the landing quite like I expected and now it's a little on the stiff side.  But the snow angel is wonderful so maybe it's all worth it.

Misha Gale is loving all the snow. I'm happy for her.  She's been depressed since we lost Bonpas last month.  9 inches of snow has brought the puppy out in her again.  I can't wait to see what she does in February when she gets her baby sister.  Husband's cousin who owns Misha's mom, just posted that Skye was having litter #3 last week.  Much to our surprise, the puppies came along Saturday night/Sunday morning.  There's one red baby girl in the litter and Husband already has his name on her.   Her name will be Sasha Skye.

The rest of the day will find us all hunkered down with a stack of movies, bowl of Christmas candy, blankets, pillows, and a long few days of being snow bound.

Merry Christmas to you all from all of us down on the farm!

On the First Day of Christmas....

Instead of song birds in fruit bearing trees, young women milking bovine, European royalty jumping around like grasshoppers, and a troupe of piccolo players, I got sick kids. And to make things super fun, they didn't all get sick at once. The spread it out over the first week of their Christmas break. #1 Son got started a day early missing the last day of school when he vomited All. Over. My. Bathroom. But I already told you about that.

BabyGirl picked it up the first day of their vacation with a sore throat & vomiting. Since Doc was about to leave the office for days on end, he gave us a script without the strep culture just to be on the safe side & save me a trip to the ER over the holidays. Too bad we still had to go...but that's for later in the post.

B.B. puked Christmas Eve morning & again Christmas morning preventing us from going to church on Christmas day. He complained of a sore throat on & off for 24 hours. By the time the weekend was over, I had worn 3 pairs of pajamas & no "real" clothing. What's the point of dressing when you're laying around for hours on end, watching House Hunters on an endless loop of HGTV, and living off Chex Mix and Poor Man's Toffee?

Bitsy rounded us out by running a fever & having a sore throat Monday & Tuesday keeping the two of us housebound while everyone else went to Little BIL & Aunt Cher's for lunch. By Wednesday, everyone was finally feeling better just in time for rain & rain & more rain.

Thursday the roofers showed up. Two high strung dogs plus half a dozen Mennonite men on the roof plus four nosy kids equals entirely too much going on for one FarmWife to deal with. So I kenneled up the dogs who were trying their hardest to coax the men off the roof so they could be summarily eaten, plopped the FarmHands down in front of the television, and proceeded to undress my Christmas tree.

By Friday, we were officially de-Christmased, it was warm enough to throw the FarmHands outside, & Bitsy had a WIC appointment, so the monotony was finally broken. The roof was finished that afternoon much to the dogs' delight.

On Saturday everyone came by to see our new lid. MIL & SIL came first followed by Uncle E, J, & Beffie. Uncle E gave Husband some drywall tips before he got started on the bathroom ceiling (I lost my skylight in getting my new roof....I am still in mourning, but fully understand the need for it's departure). Then Busha & Bucka came by very proud of Husband for, "Finally putting a roof over our Granddaughter's head." Little BIL & Aunt Cher stopped by on their way out to lunch with MIL & FIL. Everyone seems to like the new change.

Saturday afternoon Husband was putting the flashing up behind the gutters when he came in the house. "Um, come look at this, FarmWife. Do you think I need stitches?" His had slipped while sliding flashing into place & he cut his hand on the new roof. He had a 2 inch gash on his right hand across the knuckle at the base of his middle finger. One frantic hunt for a sitter, and a quick trip to the ER & he is now the proud owner of his first ever stitches. Four in total that earned him a hand full of stickers from the ER nurse & large strawberry milkshake from me. He was very brave.

Tomorrow our "normal" life resumes. I'm ready for it. Today I've battled allergies and a massive headache along with children in serious need of more structure than I'm willing to give. Husband's feeling lousy as well & I'm hoping it's just a bug & not infection in his hand. I'm keeping a close eye on it & him & if things are the same in the morning, Doc will be getting a New Year's visit from the FarmFamily Patriarch.

Happy stinking New Year.

Oh, and incidentally, I've finally joined the movement that is Pinterest. You can find me here if you like. Let me know if you pin. I'm just getting started & haven't quite got the hang of it. I'd love some ideas & input.

Grown up Christmas List

The number of presents under the tree this year with my name on them came to a grand total of one. Yup. One present. And it was from my mother-in-law. She got me a waffle iron.

A few years ago, I would have been depressed by the lack of Mama Swag...but not anymore. Sure, I'd like something sparkly. I like something new & techy with a screen you can touch. I'd love a stack of books or movies or music to keep me entertained. I wouldn't mind a spa day or a mani-pedi with my bestie, but in truth, I'm more than happy with the gifts I've been given through the year.

After the kids opened their presents and Christmas was being shuffled away, I headed back to run a load of laundry. I have shiny red appliances humming happily in my laundry room. A washer & dryer I truly enjoy using are nearly as exciting as something sparkly I only get to wear on special occasions.

Husband bought me the most beautiful winter dress coat just over a month ago. Sure, I picked it out & he just added it to the pile of dress clothes he was getting, but I adore it none the less.

In a few weeks I will have an entire hog butchered & processed to my specifications stashed happily in my freezer. I will have enough pork to feed my family for the next year & I know how & where it was raised.

And best of all, today I have 2/3 of a new blue metal roof on my house. The rest should be completed tomorrow. No longer will I watch my ceilings in dread every time we have a good hard rain. No longer will I cringe at the sight of the huge patches of black tar Husband's had to spread to keep our 8 year old shingles from curling up at the edges.

Being a grown up isn't as fun as I thought it would be when I was 8, but it's really better than it sounds. It's just a change in perspective. I've had a great Christmas even if it wasn't wrapped up under the tree.

The real question is, "Do they care it's Christmas time?"

As promised in my post below, I'm now going to tell you my most despised Christmas song.

Do They Know It's Christmas Time? by Band Aid. And yes, I have a few reasons to share with you. (You didn't really think you'd get off with just a pat answer, did you?)

First of all, let's take a look at the lyrics:

Paul Young
It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade.

Boy George
And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy!
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time.

(Phil Collins on the drums)

George Micheal
But say a prayer -
pray for the other ones
At Christmas time.

Simon Le Bon
It's hard, but when you're having fun,
There's a world outside your window,

Sting and Simon Le Bon
And it's a world of dread and fear,
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.

Bono
Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Where nothing ever grows,
No rain or rivers flow,
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Here's to you,
Raise your glass for everyone.
Here's to them underneath that burning sun.

Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time...

First of all, these are quite possibly the worst lyrics I've ever heard. With the exception of the "Feed the World, Let them know it's Christmas time," hook, this song is drivel. And the hook isn't really that amazing in it's self.

I realize that at the time the song was written there was a massive drought & famine taking place in large parts of Africa, but I'm pretty sure there were still rivers flowing & rain falling in places. I'm also sure that something grew there. It wasn't a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I also know that many, many people died during that famine but the line "The greatest gift they'll get this year is life," is horrible. I know this wasn't the intent, but to me it sounds like Band Aid is granting this gift of life themselves.

Bono's line makes me want to punch him in the face. "Well, thank God it's them instead of you." WHAT?? Thank God my neighbors are starving but my family is fine. Yeah, that's a great attitude to have. The sentiments may have been pure, but the execution leaves much to be desired.

And we're going to offer up a toast to starving children in Africa? Really? Yeah, I'm sure tossing back a Bacardi & Coke is going to help fight world hunger.

My real issue is that for some reason it's unacceptable for starving people in a drought ravaged country to not know it's Christmas. I'm pretty sure they were more concerned about feeding their families one meal a day than about celebrating anything.

But the real icing on the cake is the short voice over by Bob Geldof at the end of the song. "This record was recorded on the 25th of November 1984. It's now 8am on the 26th. We've been here 24 hours and I think it's time we went home."

I'm so very sorry you had to spend 24 hours in a recording studio. It must've been so difficult. How ever did you manage? It was nearly too much for Western society to ask of it's elite musicians. Why didn't you mention Status Quo's contribution? I'm sure it really eased the burden you were all under.

"Once Status Quo produced their bag of cocaine and the booze started to flow – I brought six bottles of wine from my flat, which disappeared in a minute – it became a party." -Robin Eggar

Yup, nothing says Feed the Hungry in Honor of the Birth of Our Savior like a booze & drug fueled marathon recording session.

Oh, and if you're looking for the perfect Christmas break-up song to replace the Wham! classic (I think Handel may be rolling over in his grave over that one), you might want to try Fall Out Boy's Yule Shoot Your Eye Out.

Santa Baby, Hurry down the Chimney & Die.

Sorry. It just came to me. I had no idea just how polarizing a Christmas music debate could be. Folks have really strong opinions on what's the worst Christmas song & they have some really compelling reasons.

Last night I posted the following as my status on Facebook:
"Worst Christmas Song Ever- Go!"

The results were entertaining to say the least. And guess what. As a special treat just for you, I'm going to share some with you.

Anna says: Little Drummer Boy. Geewwww. I just can't take a song seriously that has purumpupumpum in the lyrics. This was one of my favorite Christmas carols as a child because of the prumpumpumpum. Now it's the reason it drives me crazy. Emily agrees with Anna on this one.

To which Nic replied: I always say "rum" instead of "drum" when singing "Little Drummer Boy." "Bum" works too.

Nic's vote was for something totally different: "Baby It's Cold Outside." Because date rape is soooo hilarious. Every time I hear that I want to buy pepper-spray stocking stuffers for all the women I know, and all the ones I don't too. Cannot say I'd ever thought of it that way. I've always loved that song simply for the 1940's esque sound & harmony. After reading that it kind of gives me the creeps. A Starry Night agrees.

Pam was scarred as a child by a Christmas song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. When I was little that song made me cry and cry... I can see how that would traumatize a child. And she wasn't alone in her hatred of this one. Sarah, Jeremy, and Tanya all agreed with her.

Courtney made a more sweeping comment: Every Christmas song ever turned into a hip hop remix by a 15 second famous pop star is so disturbing I can't even describe. There is a trend to put CHRIST back in Christmas. I think we should put the psalm back in the Christmas song. Preaching to the choir, sister!

Kari & Charlene agree on one: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas! Hands down! OK, once upon a time, I would have agreed with this, but no longer. The song was written by John Rox & recorded by 10 year old Gayla Peevey in 1953. An Oklahoma City promoter quickly picked up on the song's popularity & the singer's local roots and put the song to work raising money to purchase Peevey an actual hippopotamus. When presented with her hippo, Gayla donated it to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Now the song tickles me & it makes Bitsy laugh so it's all good in my book.

Santa Baby is very popular on the list. Ordinary Sarah says, " That whiny voice and begging for stuff, drives me crazy!" And while I wholeheartedly agree, I cannot help but love the song. It goes back to my love of mid-century music & Ertha Kitt. Who doesn't want to listen to Cat Woman sing Christmas music? Apparently Rachel, Jen, and A Starry Night.

Unfortunately for B.B., All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth also made our list. Tanya's exact phrase was, "Gag me," and Rachel gave an, "Ugh." In all actuality he needs 3 front teeth for Christmas, but we'll settle for 2.

Oddly 2 songs by the Beatles or former Beatles made the list & somehow I don't think I've ever heard either one. Ashley said, " As much as I love the Beatles and Paul Mccartney, 'Wonderful Xmas time' is really annoying..." and Zann followed up with, " John Lennon 's Happy Christmas (War is Over) drives me crazy. Of course I don't like the Beatles nor John Lennon so..that probably plays into it."

Neece cracked me up with this one: Feliz Navidad. And I can say this because I married into a Hispanic family. But the joke is on me because my 1 year old daughter loves it and dances when she hears it. So of course I play it for her to see her dance. Hate that song.

Nikki & Monica dislike Last Christmas & I am right there with them. It's whiny & it bugs the living daylights out of me. Personally I think Wham! should be kept as far away from the holidays as is humanly possible.

I couldn't have put this next one any better had I tried, so I'm leaving it entirely to Heatherintheboro: Christmas Shoes. I can't deal, makes me mad and I cry. Who would let a kid go shopping for shoes with no money when Mom is dying? THANK YOU!! And I don't know a child in the world who would want to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. A new dress? Yes. A piece of jewelry? Sure. Shoes? For someone who's bedridden? No. And his dad is obviously around. If Mom is on her death bed, who's let the kid leave the house to roam around a shopping center?

I was going to post my most hated Christmas song, but since this is the post that never ends, & I do not know the meaning of the word concise, I think I'll break it into two. Stay tuned!

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.....

Inkling called me yesterday wondering what was going on in my life. At first I was a bit confused until I realized I've been "off grid" for most of the week. Not only have I neglected my blog (I hope it still loves me & didn't get its feelings hurt), but I've been avoiding Facebook like the plague. Yes, that's a total exaggeration.

In fact, I've been hunched over my sewing machine a good portion of this week. All day Tuesday & all day Wednesday were spent clipping thread, stuffing poly fill into tiny holes, slip stitching everything in sight, readjusting patterns to make them fit the scanty amount of fabric I had available, and trying to hide most of the handiwork from the FarmHands. Then all of Thursday was spent reclaiming my house from the chaos that ensued while I was off in my own world of fabric & notions.

A few months ago Busha gave Bitsy an old sock monkey. They boys flipped over it so I decided to make them their own for Christmas. I've felt guilty for quite a while because the girls have dresses & purses & diaper bags & baby blankets & such I've made for them in the past. They boys have nothing. I'm not a tailor so I've never attempted dress shirts or pants. It's cheaper to buy them shorts at Wal-Mart than to spend the money on fabric to make them. So when they fell for the sock monkey, I knew I was in luck.

I've got to say, they were a blast to make! I love watching odd shapes come together to create something new. I also had a pre-printed fabric panel to make a nativity scene & another for Noel the Christmas Cow. The Nativity is currently set up under our tree (Mary & Joey, as Bitsy's been calling him, have been having long conversations over the head of their infant son laying face down in his manger) and Noel is hiding in my closet with the sock monkeys ready to dangle out of stockings on Christmas morning. I made BabyGirl an apron covered in flames. She's doing a cooking project for 4-H this year & I thought it would be nice for her to have an apron that actually fits for a change.

The house is decorated, Chex mix is baking, gifts are wrapped....now all that's left is to wait for the numerous potlucks, class parties, and a dusting of snow.

Let's Share

You tell me something lovely and I'll tell you things I've recently discovered. Deal? OK, go.

Wait, this isn't working quite the way I'd planned. Um...let's see. OK, I'll share some things then you can leave me lovely comments. Deal? OK, I'll go.

Thing #1- Christmas is still Christmas even if you have left over Chowder for dinner. Or pancakes and bacon for dinner. Or Chex mix for lunch. I decided to save myself the trouble of cooking a big dinner when everyone would just throw a fit & demand hot dogs instead. And you know what, I couldn't care less. A huge family dinner would be nice, but it's not necessary.

Thing #2- Despicable Me is hilarious. And Ramona and Beezus made me laugh, too. Kids' movies in general make me happy. I think I'll switch genres tonight & watch the A-Team, though. I need to see something explode.

Thing #3- I can pick out awesome gifts if you're a 3 year old or 9 year old girl. Especially if you've been convinced you're not getting the Moxie Girl you asked for 6 months ago. I wish I could have captured BabyGirl's face on film this morning as she opened her gifts. She rarely shows excitement, but she was bursting at the seams this morning. And your 3 year old will probably like the $5 gift more than anything else you bought her...except for her Pillow Pet.

Thing #4- My house isn't really big enough for RC Monster Trucks. But that's not going to keep my husband from getting them for the boys or keep my boys from ramming them into the furniture until they're put away for a nicer day when they can go outside.

Thing #5- As much as I hate being snowed in, I really love looking out the window and singing White Christmas with my daughter as the fat flakes float down.

Thing #6- Your husband getting you exercise stuff for Christmas does not always mean he thinks you're fat. Sometimes it just means he listened & wanted to surprise you. I got Zumba for our new Wii...and I love it.

Thing #7- I do not hate Justin Beiber. Which is good since BabyGirl will be listening to his acoustic CD for the next month straight.

Thing #8- Pfefferneuse do not survive long in my house. Especially not when my little brother comes to visit.

I hope you all have enjoyed your Christmas. God bless us, everyone.

A grown up Christmas list.

In about 45 minutes I will have been stuck on this 10 acres of land for a full week. 7 straight days. In that time I've made 2 or 3 trips to the mail box at the end of our drive, 2 trips to take out the trash, and one trip out to the sheep pen to dump table scraps. Stir Crazy would be the phrase that best suits my current frame of mind.

The FarmHands are going nearly as insane as I am. Husband decided to put all the presents under the tree today. This is the first time the FarmHands have ever seen their wrapped gifts prior to the day we celebrate Christmas. This change has caused B.B. to collapse into a bawling heap at least 3 times just this morning. He's desperate to open a gift. I really do not want to give into and therefore encourage the tantrums so I said no. I am currently public enemy #1.

Because we've been snowed and or iced in all week, Husband decided he'd do the grocery shopping Friday night after work. He's been able to make it back & forth to work with no small amount of stress. Once he's reached the high way, things have been hunky-dory...the problem is the five miles of ice between us and the highway. Since he was already out on good roads, I made him a list & sent him shopping, much to the amazement of the FarmHands. When they woke up yesterday to a pantry & fridge full of food, you'd have thought Santa himself brought it all.

While at Wal-Mart, Husband bought my Christmas present. He has a horrible time trying to keep secrets. He's already offered to tell me what it is. I declined but fear he wouldn't have been honest had I allowed him to ruin the surprise. He wrapped my gift & put it under the tree yesterday while I was baking cookies. The FarmHands are dying to know what it is, so Husband told #1 Son. #1 Son told B.B. B.B. told Bitsy. 7 seconds later, Bitsy came running out of the bedroom and yelled, "Mommy, Daddy buyed you Eclipse and...." that's when the others began screaming. "NO, Bitsy! Don't tell Mom!!" and they whisked her away to the bedroom. Husband starts laughing because he hadn't told them what he actually got for me. About a minute later Bitsy runs back out of the rooms and says, "Mommy, Daddy not get you Eclipse."

Since then they've been on a mission to wheedle the truth out of their father, who surprisingly has not cracked. This morning he told B.B. it was a banana in a box, wax fruit for the table, a board game, and other odd things.

I fear the FarmHands have run out of ways to entertain themselves. The fighting and bickering has reached epic proportions. 30 minutes ago they were in the boys room when the screaming started. I went to investigate and found Bitsy playing, "Duck, Goose, Come Chase Me!" with the boys. They're currently on their 2nd or 3rd viewing of the cartoon How the Grinch Stole Christmas for the day.

All I want for Christmas is a grown up to visit with....one that I'm not married to.

Wii wish you a merry Christmas.

After about 3 years of debating, Husband and I decided to get the FarmHands a Wii for Christmas (shhhh, don't tell). It will be the one & only gaming system in our house. Someday I might let them have a Kinect, but I'm pretty opposed to the traditional zone out while exercising only your thumbs gaming systems. Besides, I'm horrible at them. With the exception of Centipede (remember that one?) I never could get the hand eye coordination down....not even for Pac-Man.

The kids have been begging for a Wii ever since J got his a few years back. We didn't think they were quite coordinated for one and were not prepared to break up fights all day long. I'm still not keen on that idea, but we need something physical to keep them entertained this winter. The Wii was much cheaper than the Kinect and more age appropriate in my opinion.

But since Husband and I are completely clueless about video games, we need some help. What games would be good for our heathens? BabyGirl is 9 1/2 now, #1 Son is 7 1/2, and B.B. is 6. Bitsy's still too young to take into consideration when choosing games. I know what games I'd like. I have my heart set on a Sims game and the Wii Zumba....but will have to wait on those. First we need something to entertain the FarmHands. We have the basic Wii (no Wii fit). Any suggestions would be appreciated.

And We're Done.

Mostly. With the Christmas shopping. MIL came and watched the FarmHands today while Husband and I made the mother of all Wal-Mart runs for groceries and gifts. We returned much poorer but loaded down with kid swag out the wahzoo.

Our biggest problem now is that my closet floor is hidden underneath a pile of unwrapped gifts and empty Christmas tree boxes. Oh, and B.B. has decided to randomly burst into tears because we won't let him open, "Just one of my little presents." I'm not sure I can deal with 2 full weeks of his unprovoked breakdowns.

In a moment I'm going to attempt to bake my first (and second) pecan pie. I'm not terribly worried since I have Grandma M&M's recipe to work from. But I do fear I may fall asleep while rolling out my dough. Last night I went into my kitchen at shortly after four and didn't leave it until after nine. I made another batch of pfefferneuse dough, a batch of double pie crust dough, a chicken pot pie, chex mix, & cranberry salad, washed what seemed like every dish in my house, cleaned out the kids games and coloring books cabinet, and took out enough trash to fill a small closet. All while breaking up fights, chatting on the phone, and singing along to REM.

Go me.

Nothing says Christmas like MSG

I've been asking Bitsy what she wants for Christmas for the past few weeks. Most of the time she gives me a list of toys she already has. "Me aweady have 2 Cin'a'rellas. Me aweady have Tinkerbell panties. Me aweady have lots a lots a babies." Occasionally she'll say, "Me want pwesants!" What kind of presents, she's never really sure about.

Today I tried a different approach (because she's currently obsessed with Santa Clause). "Bitsy, what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas this year?"

"One more Tinkerbell panties! Him bwought me Tink panties last time. Him can bwing me one more Tink panties."

"Is there anything else you want, baby?"

"Ummmmm.....OH, Me want Santa bwing me TANDY! Lots a lots a tandy. Me love tandy!"

"Candy, huh? Anything else?"

"Chick'a McNuggetts! Santa tan bwing me Chick'a McNuggetts! Lots and lots and lots and lots of Chick'a McNuggetts from McDonalds!!"

Now how am I supposed to wrap that?

And Deliver us from Christmas Vacation.....

I'm terrified. My phobia does not revolve around spiders, heights, or snakes. It's entirely hinged on the idea of my children being stuck in my house for 2 weeks at Christmas break.

You see, they've lost their ever lovin' little minds. They've spent the last few weeks trying to kill each other. Everyone hates everyone else. No one ever does anything wrong. Every bad thing is someone else's fault. The thought of having them all in the house 24 hours a day for 2 weeks is daunting.

Every morning, Bitsy and I get the kids up, get them ready, and drop them at school. Then Bitsy, Husband, and I have a fairly quite day. Husband sleeps. Bitsy watches Max & Ruby. I do my chores, surf the web, read, catch up on Criminal Minds, or nap on the couch. The only time we argue is when Husband tries to kiss me & Bitsy must intervene ("No! My Mommy! No kiss my mommy!").

When the bus pulls up at a few minutes after four, the peaces is promptly shattered. Three kids scream their way up the drive way and into the house leaving a wake of shoes, jackets, back packs, and lunch boxes behind them. They each have a shoe box and a coat hook that they always seem to forget about. The next hour is spent arguing over snacks, homework, candy, who touched whom, and anything else they can think up to fight about.

I'm wondering how much a full time Nanny would cost us over the holidays. Or some kind of seasonal boarding school for delinquents. Or even an ex-Marine drill Sergent. Yeah, I like that last idea a lot.

Christmas, Christmas time is near....

Time for toys and time for cheer. We have plenty of both, although I have yet to purchase a single gift. Yup, December third and I have NOTHING. It helps that we really only buy for our kids & HT, and our kids don't get a huge haul....but it would be nice to have a few things stashed away. Every year I hit the month of September thinking, "I'm going to start picking up one or two things each week & get it over with." But it never really happens that way.

I could shop for BabyGirl & Bitsy all day long. Everything I see I think, "Oh, the girls would love this!" But buying for the boys is like pulling teeth. I have no idea what to get. They're boys. They can only own so many action figures and matchbox cars.

Today I got my table cloth, some window clings for the kids' rooms, and tins to fill with Pfefferneuse for the teachers this year. Last night, A Starry Night popped by and surprised me. She had promised to help put up my new tree. She & IT Superguy (formerly known as NM) were having dinner with his folks last night after IT Superguy climbed down out of his deer blind. It's so nice having a grown up around to help with the tree & visit with not to mention another person to wrangle my kids when needed. Between the two of us we got the tree up & the lights on (a job that makes me dizzy every year).

After she left, the FarmHands and I put up the tinsel and ornaments finishing shortly before bed....and before I quit being able to breath through my nose. Decorating for Christmas always causes an allergy attack for me. It tends to put a damper on my Christmas spirit. But I am determined to prevail.

It doesn't seem like an uphill battle any longer. I have found my Christmas Cheer.

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

If you're all about clouds and rain and crazy people knocking each other down in the store to get to the last pig in a tea cup or what ever the must have toy of the season is. OK, so I really do love Christmas. I'm just having a bit of a tough time gearing up for it this year. I know I'll get there eventually, but for now I just want to nap....a lot.

But I do have a plan. On Friday I'm going to try and find myself a new Christmas table cloth for our dining room table. I inherited a few from Grandma M&M when we got the table, but one is way too small (I think it's actually supposed to be on the table Princess has) and the other is for when we open the table out to seat 16 for family dinners. I need one for everyday when the table only seats 6. And I need something that smells Christmasy...like a cinnamon candle or the like.

Until then, I'm heading to http://www.shabbyblogs.com/ to pimp out my blog St.Nick style. They have 25 or more adorable Christmas designs to choose from & they're really easy to use.

For now I need a little help from you all. How do you get into the Christmas spirit? Do you have a favorite CD you pop in? A DVD to watch? A cookie to bake? Help jump start me, please.




Lyrics - WE NEED A LITTLE CHRISTMAS lyrics

And, we're done!

The last of the Christmas presents were purchased today. Bitsy now has gifts & the stockings shall be well stuffed. The FarmHands may be a bit disappointed as this years haul won't be quite as awe inspiring as last year's, but then I didn't start in October this year...and they are getting clothes this time around.

Personally, I think this year may be easier. The FarmHands have spent very little time at Wal-Mart since school started and not having satellite television means we haven't been bombarded with the "must haves" of the toy world since August. That's meant much less, "Mama, I want..." and "Mama, I need..." and "Mama, I'll die without..." Have to say, that's made a happier Mama.

Now to get it all wrapped.

An open letter to Santa, from Bitsy.

Dear Santa Clause (or Hohoho as you are more commonly known 'round these parts),

Thank you so much for coming to see my kids in their Christmas program at school last night. But in the future, there are things you should be aware of. First of all, sit down so we can sit on your lap & tell you what we want. It's a bit of a let down when I've been crying at my mother for 20 minutes while she's trying to gather up my siblings & their coats, that I want to come see you & all you do is tower over me & offer me a candy cane. Don't get me wrong, I love candy. You can give me all the candy you want (as long as you don't ask my mom about it first)...but there were important things we needed to discuss.

And considering the fact that I'm currently on speaking terms with...well...no one, that's a really big deal. Unless you've been an intimate part of my life for the past 2 years, I'm not going to come near you, except for you, Santa. For you, I'll break away from my mother & tear through a sea of very tall strangers just to catch a glimpse.

By the way, if you're going to come hang out at school for the Christmas program, you really should just stick around until you absolutely must go back to the North Pole. A few days at least. It's really disappointing to bring my kids to school the next morning & find you're not there. I was really looking forward to seeing you this morning. My mom was confused when I got upset. She didn't know I was expecting to see you. Give the lady a break. She's had a rough week.

I've been a really good girl this year. Well, at least I think I have. You really should take into consideration that "good" is a relative term when you're 2 1/2 years old. I try. I don't hit...often. I don't bite...hard. I occasionally do what I'm told. Hey, I potty trained myself way earlier than anyone expected. Shouldn't that count for serious Santa Points? It counts for Mommy Points & she has more experience in this area than you do.

That being said, here's my Christmas wish list: I want a Cinderella drink, Tinkerbell panties, and Ray-ray boots. If your elves aren't familiar with these items, you can find all of them at Wal-Mart...or just send the money to my mom & she'll pick them up for you.

I hope you have a safe trip this Christmas. And if we're not here when you come by, just leave the presents under our tree. We're going to Grammy & Pa's, but we'll be home soon. In fact, you may want to drop off our gifts early. It'll lighten your load on the big day.

Love,
Bitsy FarmHand

Gifts & Gab

Friday, Husband & I went Christmas shopping for the three oldest FarmHands. I think from here on out, I may send him shopping for the boys & I'll handle the girls on my own. It will be much less stressful. Not that it was horrible, but I got to the point where I didn't care what he picked out, I just wanted to be done...and to take off the fabulous boots I was wearing. Note to self: Heels may be OK for a general trip to the store, but they are not OK for an extended trip like Christmas shopping.


Busha picked B.B. up from school that day so we wouldn't have to rush home. When we were on the way home with him, Husband & I started talking about the presents we got B.B. "Won't he just love that pretty ruffly dress we got him? I sure hope those sparkly red shoes fit B.B. I really think he'll be happy when he unwraps that baby doll you picked out for him." B.B. starts shouting, "NO!! I don't want a dress! You didn't get me red, sparkly shoes! I'm not a girl!" Husband looks at him, then at me & says, "You mean he's not a girl? Well, I'm not taking it all back now. He's just going to have to learn to like girl stuff!" B.B. informed us he was not a girl & we did not get him girl stuff for Christmas.

Bitsy keeps telling me she wants Tink panties & a Cinderella drink for Christmas. Since she really doesn't need anything, I plan on getting her just that. At 2 years old, juice drinks for Christmas will make her happy, and I'm all about making her happy. If Bitsy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

She's become a rather opinionated little girl. Today her daddy told her she couldn't have big ice to chew on. She came running into me in the laundry room, chattering and having fits. All I got of it was Me, Da-da, and No. She was so mad, she could have spit nails. If you've never been given what for by a barely verbal toddler, you've never really been cursed out. It's hard not to laugh sometimes....and essential to discipline. She seems genuinely shocked when I tell her if Daddy said no, that means no & that she's not allowed to yell at me. I mean, doesn't this world revolve around her tiny self? No, wait, forget I said that. She's not little. She's Big! She tells me that on a daily basis, too....usually just after I've called her Baby.

Illinois FarmWife & the Black Hole of BabyGirl's Closet

Yesterday BabyGirl & #1 Son were sent to clean up her room. #1 Son is doing extra chores to make money to buy a Christmas present for someone in his class. I figured helping his sister was worth at least 50 cents.

After 20 minutes of bickering & pestering & a bit of actual work, they came in the living room where I was vacuuming & announced they were done. By done, they meant everything was off the floor. By off the floor they meant most of the stuff that had been on the floor was now piled on her desk. "Clean" is a relative term when you're 8.

Unfortunately the same cannot be said when you're 33.

This morning that meant I had to tackle BabyGirl's desk & closet. Both needed doing in a way an 8 year old simply cannot comprehend. It involved a trash bag. It was cathartic. I love throwing things away. Not all things, just things that have cluttered my home for ages & have little to no sentimental value or usage.

Sunday morning we discovered 90% of her dresses were 6/6x and the child wears a 7/8....so there was some serious thinning that went on there as well. The vast majority of the dresses were hand-me-downs from Art's Syd & will be going back to the land of Art to be handed down to her niece....which is even more cathartic than tossing it all in the trash (which I would have never done anyway). Now her closet is oddly & fabulously uncluttered.

Next is my closet. As long as I'm sneezing, I might as well keep at it. Dust is not my friend & it is always stirred up when you empty a closet. Better to tackle it all at once & keep the misery short & severe as opposed to long & drawn out.

Maybe once that's done, I'll be able to get to my Christmas ornaments....then all that's left is getting Husband to heft the tree out of the utility closet for me.

Post Christmas Purge

Instead of hauling a trash bag full of coloring books to the trash, I decided to de-Christmas the living room. I didn't decorate to the hilt this year, so tearing down didn't take quite as long as it usually does. The tree came down & the few mantle decorations went back into storage. My living room looks strangely empty & markedly bigger with the giant tree gone from in front of the window.

Husband told me that our SIL's sister is pregnant & due any day (it's a LONG story that involves numerous miscarriages & a complete lack of prenatal care). I wanted him to haul off our old carrier car seat as it's been through all 4 FarmHands & has passed the expiration date. He said we might as well give it to her since she has nothing (and I mean NOTHING) and may not have a seat to get the baby home from the hospital in. After a quick call to SIL & a sweep through the house, Husband packed off the car seat, the baby swing, a bouncy thing with a zip up hood, and two bags full of receiving blankets. If they can't find a bassinet or crib in time, the baby could sleep in the bouncy thing we had. I lays flat & has a mesh cover that zips over it. I used it to take the FarmHands outside with me when they were tiny. I hope she puts the stuff to good use.

I'm just glad to have it all out of my house! Now if only I could convince my husband to give up the two pairs of Rollerblades that have been living in our closet for 11 years. I think they've been worn once or twice each since we got married...and there's no pavement to Rollerblade on any where near us.

Christmas Dinner...two days late.

Today is the first day since last Friday that I've felt human & whole all day long. I was so ready for it! MIL watched the older kids this morning so Husband & I could go to the grocery. We came home & played & watched movies & went out to run around in the 70 degree weather (yikes!!) & I finally got around to making the dinner I'd planned for Christmas Day. I roasted a chicken & made mashed potatoes, green beans, & sweet corn. B.B. has discovered the wide world of meat lately & was desperate for chicken. I cut some up & put it on his plate. "Yum! I love this chicken, Mom! Even the peel of the chicken is good!"

Now I'm attempting to email all the pictures from our Christmas with Uncle Bubba yesterday to QM & Daddy so everyone can see them tonight at Christmas at their house. I've tried twice only to have the emails fail on me. Grrr.

The FarmHands got quite a haul for Christmas this year. Sheets or a blanket for each kid & a big box of books, coloring books, card games, and little toys from MIL & FIL, toys, toys, and more toys from Husband & me, Indiana Jones Whips for the boys, a Cabbage Patch Preemie for Bitsy, and a Fancy Nancy doll for BabyGirl from Uncle Bubba & Aunt Beck, Bibles, a movie, and a shopping cart for Bitsy from Grammy & Pa, and lots of movies and books and other goodies.

Princess sent me two wonderful pairs of jeans (I love having a sister who works at Macy's...$88 jeans for $10). Bubba gave me the Indiana Jones trilogy & The Last Unicorn on DVD and a wonderful smelling bath set Beck picked out. QM & Daddy sent me some fabulous new kitchen knives that I threatened to use on Husband should he ever try to butcher a chicken with them.

Christmas has been good...and bad...and tiring...and difficult...and wonderful. But then things are usually like that around here.

Tomorrow night is our Candle Light Service at church. Uncle E called tonight to ask if I'd sing a special. I said yes. Now I have to find one to sing!

Monday I'm going to have my stitches taken out of my mouth. I am so ready for it! I've been done with these stupid things for three days now...unfortunately, they aren't done with me. It will be good to get that much closer to normal.

At some point I'd like to take the FarmHands to see Desperaux.

That's all the news that's fit to print.