BabyGirl is a freshman. Isn't that the most revolting thing you've read in months? Once they walk through the line at 8th grade graduation, our kids are officially labeled "Freshman." How can that be possible? I'm pretty sure it was just last week we were wrestling her into a pair of capris and a ratty tank top to drag her kicking and screaming out the door for 1st grade. There's no way she's 1 semester away from drivers ed. I reject your reality and substitute my own.

The week of her graduation was a tough one. We had VBS at church every day immediately after school. Miss T and I were busy trying to pack up our kitchen for summer break. One of our walk-in freezers died 2 days before school got out. I was trying to pack up so we could leave Friday immediately after I got off work so we could go to TN for Art's wedding. I was going to get to see PG (Princess's baby boy) up close for the first time that weekend. Hormones were raging. Mommy feelings were raw with BabyGirl moving on from the school she'd been in for 10 years. The house was a hot mess. The FarmHands were dragging home everything they'd ever made at school. And husband and I were having a breakdown in communication that was leaving me a weepy mess.

Graduation was Thursday night. QM was coming to town on Wednesday afternoon but Daddy couldn't make it. Wednesday I had to run to town to get BabyGirl a graduation present. Then I ran home to start scrubbing bathrooms and doing laundry. I was beyond exhausted and only 1/2 way through a very long week.

Daddy called to chat and I had a full on bawling meltdown on the phone. I was tired, angry, stressed out, and there was no end in sight. He kept telling me it was all going to be OK. He told me to take a deep breath and that no matter how things went I'd be done in just a few days. I hung up the phone and cried like a baby.

QM had told me she was nearly here but wanted to stop by Busha and Bucka's house first. Since I was in mad lady cleaning mode and had to pick the FarmHands up from VBS at 5:30, I told her I'd see her then. She told me she wanted to drop off BabyGirl's graduation present since it wasn't wrapped.

I met QM on the road home after VBS. She turned around before we got to her and was parked in my driveway when we pulled up. I hustled everyone inside and only had a chance for a cursory greeting before BB went into full on meltdown over a stye on his eyelid. I was trying to calm him down while washing his hands and fixing a hot compress while telling QM about my earlier meltdown on the phone with Daddy. Suddenly I heard a familiar voice say, "Hey, Aunt FarmWife?"

I didn't have to turn around. When I heard HT I knew QM had brought Princess and the boys with her. Deep sobs were instant and I fell on my mother while my sister was slipping her shoes off at the back door. When I turned to greet her, Princess just held out a sleeping bundle to me. "Here, just take him," she said.

The pictures of me meeting PG for the first time are of a bawling mess of an aunt and the sleepy smile of a tiny curled up nephew.

That was a good day.

The days that followed were also good.

Husband and I ironed out our communication issue. I finished my 3rd school year as a lunch lady. BabyGirl successfully (honors society gold cord and all) and beautifully (when did my little blonde with clothing issues become a stunning young lady) graduated from junior high. Art married her best friend in the most beautiful and touching ceremony I've ever witnessed. I spent 3 1/2 days in TN loving on my nephews, laughing with my family, and enjoying the hills I miss so much when I'm home.

Days have been good since. They've been long. They've been lazy. Summer has been simple. And it's not half over.

Two weeks down. Many, many, many to go.

My coworker and I are getting into the swing of things in our kitchen.  We've put things where we want them.  We've divvied up responsibilities. We've managed to feed 135 to 155 kids a day for the past week and so far no one has been poisoned.  I think that's the real goal.  Feed them & don't make anyone puke.

There is a serious learning curve. There have been some interesting (not really shareable on the internets) mistakes.  There has been some serious frustration.  I've even had to holler at some kids.  But I think I may stick with this one.  I may remain gainfully employed.

BabyGirl, on the other hand, might not make it out o 6th grade.  One of two things- she'll fail because she can't keep track of her homework or I'll kill her because she won't quit screaming at me while trying to do said homework.

In all reality, she's not adjusting to middle school very well at the moment.  I'm hoping a few more weeks and she'll get in the groove but I'm not entirely positive that it's going to happen.  I am a bit worried.  Her math teacher caught me in the hall yesterday and told me BabyGirl hasn't been finishing or turning in her work.  We're 1 full week into school.  I'm not ready for this kind of drama.

I'm having a hard time explaining to her that I cannot get her organized nor can I do her work for her.  She still needs nightly help with her homework.  She has to be prompted and prodded into doing each and everything at home.  I'm a bit worried about how things are going at school.  She doesn't seem to be understanding how to sift through written material to find the answers to the questions on her papers.  I'm honestly a bit worried at this point.

I'm going to give her another week or two and if nothing changes we're going to have to have some serious sit downs with her teachers to find out if this is a ploy to get me to find her answers or if she's honestly having trouble understanding.

It's really going to break her heart if she has to give up cheer, but if her grades drop, that's the first thing that will have to go- and that's not even my rule.  It's the school's (not that I disagree with it in any way).

I wonder if I'll get to keep my job if my daughter drops out of sixth grade......

She's Got Spirit, Yes She Do!

Forgive my entire lack of grammar skills.  It couldn't be helped.

As you may remember my darling eldest child is now a Rah-Rah.  She hates it when I call her that as Cheerleaders no longer shout "Rah-Rah!"  but I persist because I think it's funny.

Her school colors are maroon & white ("When I say 'maroon' you say 'white,'" doesn't have quite the same ring as, "When I say 'purple' you say 'gold.'" But that's just my opinion) so when it came time to cast up last night, that's what she went with.  

Her teachers were impressed but have also said she didn't have to go to such extremes to show her school spirit.  

Now she's waiting for the swelling to go down so she can take her silver sharpie to school and let everyone sign it.

We saw the Orthopedic surgeon yesterday afternoon.  He said the bone had shifted just the tiniest bit but because of the position of her growth plates and her age it won't cause a problem.  We go back in next Thursday night to have it x-rayed to make sure things haven't shifted.  I fear my child may begin to glow in the dark after all this radiation.

The cast has cut the pain down considerably.  She's taking ibuprofen a few times a day for the pain, but it's not bad.  Itching seems to be the biggest issue at the moment.  We may try benadryl before bed tonight.

I never should have opened my big fat mouth.

Just when I thought this summer was at it's super sucky pinnacle- the climb got a little higher.

BabyGirl fell off her cousin's ATV this afternoon and broke her wrist.

We were going to have an overlap of about 20 minutes between Husband leaving for work & me getting home (this was my second day to work this year, but the first day of my official full time job) so we asked J if he could keep the kids for us.  About 30 seconds after I pulled into the drive totally exhausted, and in serious need of a few minutes of downtime, J pulled in to the back yard on his 4 wheeler.  BabyGirl was crying and cradling her arm.  Apparently they were going up a hill and she rolled off the side.  She tried to break her fall with her hands.

After Rachie looked at it (she's our resident RN), I took BabyGirl to the ER.  There must have been a memo that went out that said everyone in a 75 mile radius should come on into the ER this afternoon.  Every bed was full.  In fact, BabyGirl started to pass out in the waiting room (something she's prone to do) and they could only put her in a wheel chair in the ER hall way.

After 3 hours, an x-ray, splint, sling, and ice pack they sent us home with instructions to take her to see an orthopedic doctor as soon as we can.

The break is not bad.  Her arm is cracked just below the wrist.  The break didn't separate and the doctor said he thinks it will heal nicely but they want a specialist to be the one to make the decision on a cast.

Prior to all of this Baby, the cat that B.B. has had since he was 18 months old, died.

I'm so over this summer.

When High School comes back to bite you in the butt.

I was the quintessential drama geek in high school.  I wore weird clothes (really, no one wore knee boots and rust colored corduroy skirts in 1993).  I listened to weird music.  I had entire segments of the Muppet Movie, Monty Python, The Princess Bride, Rocky Horror, and other cult classics memorized.  Broadway musicals were my life's ambition.  One thing I was not was 'preppy.'

In fact, anything to do with the "popular" crowd, I abhorred- school spirit most of all.  In fact, I detested sports of any kind.  I though the cheer leaders were bubble headed ninnies.  I was pretty sure the football players couldn't spell Shakespeare much less read him.  Yes, I was a reverse snob.  If you weren't a band geek, drama geek, or had purple hair I didn't want anything to do with you.

Yes, I was the girl who spent hours at football games (I was in the flag corps in the marching band) screaming the names of cheerleaders when their backs were to the stands while pretending I hadn't said a word when they bounced around & scanned the crowd for the friends they thought were calling them.  I was the loudest of the protesters who felt the cheerleader's skirts should at the very least fall within the length limits set forth by the school dress code.  I was the black clad, red lipstick wearing misanthrope who read Sylvia Plath during pep-rallys (OK, so I never read Sylvia Plath in high school, but you get the idea).  In fact, the closest I ever got to cheerleading was when I helped Did dress like an anarchist cheerleader from the Smells Like Teen Spirit video for Halloween.

Today all of that has officially come back to bite me in the hind quarters.  BabyGirl made the cheer squad at school!

What has the world come to?  I am now a cheer mom.  Heaven help us all.


In all actuality, I am over the moon proud of BabyGirl.  She worked really hard & is super excited about this new venture.  I'm super excited about the socks and sneakers she's going to have to become accustomed to.  Cheerleading is going to open up a world of not only sports and team activities to her, but it's going to open up a world of yet unworn fashion.  I can't wait to see how this goes.

So do not be surprised to find me screaming my head off in the stands when someone shouts, "If you're here for the Warriors say, 'HEY!'"

HEY!!!

Drum Roll Please......

I got the job!!  Next year I will be the new head cook at the FarmHands' school.  Both of the cooks are retiring at the end of this year so I thought I had a pretty good shot at one of the jobs.  I'm a bit nervous about all the paper work involved, but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it.

Thank you for all your prayers and good wishes.

The day I found out was one of those days when any piece of good news is not only welcome, but necessary to one's mental stability.  My laptop (that we bought in January) wouldn't let me get on line.  I'd been on with tech support for our ISP for hours the day before & they assured me the problem was in the lap top.

After work on Monday I called Walmart to find out what to do with the computer.  I talked to a woman in electronics and she told me I had until Friday (that would be 90 days from our original date of purchase) to return the lap top for an exchange.  I had to take #1 Son to the lab in the hospital to have his cheek (and never ending case of impetigo) cultured, so I was going to take the computer back during that trip to town.  I spent the next 40 minutes frantically dumping any kind of information we had put on the computer- programs, photographs, pass words, music- not knowing I could just restore the computer to it's factory settings.  All the while, I was furious because it took me hours to get all those photos loaded and tagged and edited the way I wanted.  And it took almost as long to get all my music transferred (and I really don't have that much music on my Zune).

By the time I threw Bitsy in the van and headed in to school (at the very last minute) to get the FarmHands, I was frazzled far too near to my breaking point.  At the hospital we had to wait for 20 minutes to get registered (normally we wait less than 5 minutes) and with 4 kids in an environment that demands calmness, that is not fun.  Finally got done there and headed to Walmart where they proceed to tell me they don't exchange computers after 15 days from the time of purchase.  I explained that I called at 2 o'clock and spoke to a woman who assured me I could even after I gave her the date on our receipt.  Everyone was baffled (including the woman working in electronics who said she hadn't spoken to me) and since I didn't get her name, I was out of luck.  The did give me a warranty page so I could get a hold of HP (since there wasn't one in the computer box at all) and apologized profusely for the misunderstanding.

I loaded the FarmHands back up & warned them that I needed a totally silent ride home or I might just fall apart.  For the most part, they listened.

As soon as I got home I called HP's warranty hot line and spent the next TWO HOURS and FIFTEEN MINUTES on the phone with my new Indian bff- Samantha.  After trying 75,000 different things and eventually returning the computer (that still held a bit of the personalizations I'd stored) to it's factory settings, it still did not work.  I finally had to tell Samantha I couldn't work on it any more.  It was 7:35 and my children still needed to be bathed, fed, and sent to bed.

That night was the school board meeting that would decide if I would have a job next year or not.  I spent the next 2 hours nervously fidgeting and waiting for a phone call that might not come till morning if it came at all.  By 9:45 I was about to snap like an over tightened guitar string.  I decided a hot bath was in order.  I had no more than stretched out in the tub than the phone rang.  Sure it was Husband calling to see if I'd heard anything about the board meeting, I answered from the tub.  It was the principal.

He congratulated me and told me who got the other job then told me they'd let me know about a training schedule as soon as they get one worked out.  I called Husband, Mom, and Art to let them know the good news then finally decided I'd better get out of the bath.

As I was getting ready for bed, I noticed the light was still on in BabyGirl's room (it was 11 o'clock at night by this point).  When I got on to her for still being up she said, "But Mom, I read the end of the chapter and had to find out what was going to happen next!  I just couldn't stop reading!"  Since BabyGirl doesn't read willingly, I couldn't really get on to her.

Then I told her I was going to be a cook at her school full time next year & that's when the best thing that happened all day occurred.  My daughter- willingly and of her own accord- hugged me!  She not only hugged me, but she hugged me and said, "Awesome!"

It was a good day after all.

An email I just sent to Walmart

Yesterday as I was in the check-out of the (insert nearest location to the Farm) Walmart, my 10 year old daughter passed out as she was walking out of the bathroom. I left my order on the line & ran to get her. As I was helping her up & trying to walk back to our line she collapsed again. I picked her up & put her in an empty cart sitting at the end of an aisle & went back to the register where my groceries were. Not a single Walmart employee offered to help & there were quite a few in the area watching us. The cashier who was checking me out asked what was wrong & I told her my daughter was sick & had passed out. After finishing my order & waiting for me to pay, she finally asked if I needed help getting my cart out to my vehicle. At that point I needed to get my daughter home as quickly as possible so I didn't want to wait any longer. I told her no & left the store.

As I was pushing one cart, pulling the other, and trying to keep an eye on my 4 year old who was also with me, the gentleman who works in the parking lot bringing in carts asked me if I needed assistance. When he saw my daughter laying in one of the carts, he did not wait for an answer. He immediately said, "You cannot do this alone. Let me help," as he took the cart full of groceries from me. He asked if my daughter was Ok and he unloaded the dog food I had under my cart. He then asked if I wanted him to finish unloading my cart as I was getting my girls buckled in. I said, "No thank you. I can handle it from here. Thank you so much for your help!" He told me he hoped my daughter would get better quickly & ended with, "God bless you. Merry Christmas," as he took both of my carts & walked away.

The man who helped me was obviously mentally disabled. I've been told his name is Keith. I was very shaken up & very worried about my daughter & he was the only person to come to my aid. He should be commended for his kindness & his desire to help.


Yeah, it's pretty well self explanatory. I thought about adding that the rest of the staff could really use a lesson in kindness from Keith & probably some training in what to do in case a customer has an emergency, but I decided to leave well enough alone. I think I got my point across without being overly critical. There are some really great people that work at our local Walmart but for some reason, none of them were around when I needed them.

Farm Girls can be pretty, too.

A short while ago I posted my header picture again & Art commented that I needed cooler mud boots. While my boots are both warm for the winter & functional in the mud & muck farm life has in store, they are not cute. Not even a little bit. In fact, they are the total opposite of cute. But for once, I've taken function over fashion. B-o-r-i-n-g.

A few weeks ago we had to take the FarmHands to the big town of E'ville for dental appointments. Afterwards we made a GIANT Rural King run. Not that we had to get a lot at Rural King, but the Rural King we were visiting was HUGE! I love it there. It's like the Ikea of farm supply stores (not that I've ever been to an Ikea...I'm just guessing). The boys both needed new mud boots as they've outgrown & worn out their last pairs.

While searching through green & black boring boots, I stumbled on the super cute ones. They had their own aisle. Most of them were for kids. Horses, fire trucks, lady bugs & the like decorated most of the boots. On the next shelf over were women's mud boots in pastel plaids, polka dots, candy stripes, and other pretties. They weren't terribly sturdy, fit mostly for rain puddles & not hog stalls.

And then I turned the corner. There they sat in all their resplendent glory. Purple Paisley Cowboy Boots made entirely from rubber. I'm pretty sure I heard angels singing country music in the back ground. Knowing full well that I was not going to buy them, I still needed to try on a pair. I have a perfectly good pair of boot at home. I had no real call to spend money on fancy ones....as much as I wanted to.

Today I went to Bucka & Busha's to shampoo their carpet before the Aunties come to visit for their week in the fall. Busha & I were talking in the kitchen when she went into one of the back bedrooms & brought out a big shopping bag. In it were the boots! She & Bucka & Uncle Gick had doctors appointments in E'ville yesterday & they decided to check out the Giant Rural King. Busha decided I needed the boots so she found an employee to help her hunt them down.

I am a very happy FarmWife now. And for good measure, it started raining this afternoon, so they'll have to be worn tomorrow!

I only hope Art approves.

---------------

Oh, and Zann, yes, BabyGirl did stay at her camp out. She had a wonderful time! Hiking, rappelling, compass walk, blindfold walk, rope walk, scavenger hunt, sing-a-long at the campfire, hot dogs, s'mores, pop corn over the campfire, breakfast on buddy burners (cookers made from a candle & a coffee can), teachers sneaking in to TP the tents, games, giggling, little sleep, dirty shoes.....you name it, they did it! I'm so proud of her for sticking around. She decided to stay about 30 minutes after we got to camp while we were setting up the tents.

CAMP OUT!

Tomorrow BabyGirl is going on her first overnight camp out with her entire fifth grade class. This has been a tradition at her school since the mid 1970's. It's the reason to be in 5th grade around here.

But BabyGirl is a bit unsure about the whole thing. At first she didn't want to go at all. I talked to her teacher & he said she's not required to go and that she's free to go for the day but come home at night instead of sleeping over. The closer we've gotten to the big day, the more excited she's become.

I'm going with her class to help chaperon until 1:30 tomorrow afternoon. Then I'll come home to take care of the three youngest FarmHands. I told her I'd come back to get her at nine if she decided she didn't want to stay, but I'm really hoping she does. I think she'll have a great time if she sticks it out.

Please say a prayer for her tonight. I really want this to be a great memory for her like it has been for her cousins in years past.

NOT a retraction.

OK, last night I flipped out a bit. I was extraordinarily frustrated with my oldest, battling a raging headache, tired, and simply done with the day. Unfortunately the day was not done with me. Unfortunately, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I'm feeling a bit better today & hopefully a bit more ready to tackle Mount Saint Homework when the FarmHands get off the bus. I'm praying their teachers take it easy on them tonight in the knowledge that we're supposed to be at school at 6:30 PM for open house. Having four class rooms to visit with four kids in tow and Husband at work and therefore unable to lend a helping hand or two, I'll probably be there at closing time.

But tonight will be better. So let it be written, so let it be done.

P.S. Honey Wheat Braided Pretzel Twists are really good!

And I thought fourth grade was bad.

Fifth grade may be the end of me. I think I've grown 7 new gray hairs in the week the FarmHands have been back in school. BabyGirl is, oddly, exceptionally resistant to homework in every form. Her teacher, unfortunately, is not.

Normally, the beginning of the school year is the one time BabyGirl & I are not going head to head over homework. She usually starts the year off on an up swing, excited to be back. This year, not so much.

And for the record I have no problem with her teacher or the amount of homework he assigns. I think most of the work is meant to be done in class, but Miss I-have-issues-with-time-management-and-don't-you-dare-suggest-that-I'm-dawdling-even-when-I've-spent-thirty-minutes-sitting-in-the-toy-box-chewing-on-a-bobby-pin doesn't seem to think she has any hand in the 40 pounds of text books she's lugging home every night. She also doesn't seem to think there's a problem with taking 45 minutes to eat a cup of yogurt before she starts on her homework making it nearly 7 o'clock before she even starts.

She was just asking me about open house at the school tomorrow. She wants to show us something in her class room. I told her it would all depend on how much time we have after she's finished her homework. Her reply was a guttural growl. "I'm sorry, dear, but our lives now revolve around when you get your homework done. It's not any fun for any of us."

This morning I was telling Husband about the past few nights of arguing & fighting. His response: Home school her. Mine: Yeah, that's a great idea. I can't even get her to do 30 minutes worth of homework. How exactly am I supposed to get through a full day of necessary education? Not to mention the fact that my daughter and I are like oil and water. I hate admitting that, but we simply do not get along. I love her with all my heart, but the kid and I, left alone for long intervals with a task to accomplish, are volatile. It's a pretty crappy situation.

Add to that, the chaos that ensues in the rest of the house when I'm trapped in a room with an irate BabyGirl and the other 3 FarmHands are left alone. Eventually she'll get frustrated, start screaming, and stomp off & I'm able to go deal with the other catastrophes that are taking place.

Yeah, I really love this part of my job. Anyone looking for work as a fifth grade tutor? It doesn't pay much (nothing, really) but the work is steady &...um....challenging.

(Note: I'm not really looking for advice here. I just really need to vent...unless of course you have some really groundbreaking advice for me other than "make her do her homework as soon as she gets home" or "give her a break when she gets home & let her unwind" or "send her work to school unfinished if she doesn't get it done to be sure she knows it's her responsibility" because I've tried all in one way or another.)

Vacation in bullet points because I'm too tired for anything else

• drove 4 hours to Lexington to find out the hotel pool was closed & we had to entertain the FarmHands all evening in a 2 room suite. Thank the Lord for DVD players & Narnia movies.


• drove 3+ hours to Sieverville, TN to visit Knife Works with in-laws. Could have stayed another hour easily, but these folks see stuff fast.


• took FarmHands to Wonder Works in Pigeon Forge. LOVED it...all except for the glow-in-the-dark rotating entrance. Seriously messed with my head. FarmHands had a blast!


• checked into cabin & unloaded the boat load of junk it takes to shuttle this group anywhere.


• went to Dixie Stampede for dinner & show. LOVED it (especially watching the FarmHands' faces when the girl rode 2 horses at once standing up!).


• got horribly ill the last 5 minutes of the show (possible food poisoning from the night before) and spent the rest of the night wishing I could die.


• decided that when day light came, I was calling my daddy and making him come get me & take me back to Illinois (it was about 3 am at the time)


• woke up the next day & felt a tiny bit better. Decided to delay Dollywood one day & see the aquarium instead.


• drove a short distance (thank goodness) into Smokey Mt. National Park and saw the view from a lookout point then headed into Gatlinburg.


• went to see Christ of the Smokies ($5 all day parking if you're ever in the neighborhood) & found a painting I wanted for over our fireplace until I realized the price tag read $125 and not $25.


• Went to The Big Blue Aquelium (that's what HT calls it) and LOVED it (I'm really LOVING a lot of stuff today, aren't I?). My stomach wasn't so happy about all the wavy moving water, but I still really enjoyed it.


• Slept like a rock after a dose of Dramamine


• DOLLYWOOD!!!!! This was the FarmHands' first trip to an amusement park of any kind. I will leave it entirely to your imagination...but they LOVED it (see?).


• Thursday we drove 4 more hours to Cave City, KY to meet up with my parentals, Princess, Axl, and HT to do Dinosaur World (the greatest place in the entire universe) for Princess's birthday.


• Slept much less like a rock but still decently.


• Hit Mammoth Cave twice with a stop at Applebee's & Wal-Mart in between. Ate pot roast & chicken at the cabins thanks entirely to Mama & Daddy then set things on fire with my sister (in the fire ring...don't freak out).


• Drove home

Yes, I am still recovering. Yes, we had a great time. Yes, I was ready to be back in my bed.

Yesterday BabyGirl turned ten. That makes me feel old. I cannot believe I've been a mother for an entire decade. I still have no idea what I'm doing.

Husband is back to work today. The pool is up. It's hot. I can't quit sneezing. The cicadas are swarming. We're running out of Popsicles. I'm pretty sure it's summer (solstice or not).

Because I obviously didn't have enough to deal with this week.....

BabyGirl has head lice.

I will now pause a moment for you to get fully creeped out & scratch your head a few times because your skin just started crawling.

Done?

OK. Last night she was digging at her scalp shortly before bed time. I called her in to the kitchen where the light is the best & flipped her hair back from her neck.

There are no words to describe the feeling you get when you see bugs crawling on your child's scalp. None.

BabyGirl finally went to bed at just before 2 am after 3 1/2 hours of shampooing & nit combing. I made it to bed around 3.

This is so not a battle I want to fight right now. Thank goodness for www.headlice.org and all the info they've gathered.

A bright dazzling light in the midst of the fog.

It's been a foggy day. Not literally, but emotionally. It's too cold to venture out for long. There's not much to do around the house that doesn't take effort I don't want to put in (I know, I'm at fault here). There's been a lot of crying and fighting and bickering amongst the FarmHands. Husband and I have been testy with each other. We've just not been at our best.

But there was one moment that made me remember why this is all worth it.

BabyGirl was invited to a swimming/birthday party next Sunday. She's over the moon about it. Bitsy is neon green with envy. Bitsy had a complete come apart this afternoon when her sister was trying on swim suits.

"Why me not go to da party?! Why me not go swimming? Why me have these bumps? Why B.B. not say sorry to me for giving me these bumps? Me never get a go swimming in my life! When Daddy put up our pool? When me go swimming?" She bawled and wailed and sobbed for a full 30 minutes.

I'm not mean. I promise. This party is for 4th graders. A 3 year old would not be welcome. Besides she's still sporting a healthy sprinkling of molluscum contagiosum and that doesn't need to be shared via public swimming pools. Bitsy simply cannot go. And she is broken hearted about it.

During this meltdown, Bitsy insisted on trying on one of her swim suits. I didn't know what was going on until she was already clad in bright pink Lycra and insisting that she needed to swim. When I said it was too cold to swim, the meltdown hit a record high. I hoped feared she's slip into a tantrum induced coma.

Suddenly BabyGirl piped up with a brilliant (if rather obvious) suggestion. "Can she go swimming in the bath tub?" Bitsy was thrilled with the idea and jumped at the opportunity. If BabyGirl hadn't seen the obvious answer past the screaming & crying, we might still be trapped in the never ending cycle that is a determined 3 year old.

And momentarily, the fog broke and the sun shone through.

Band and Best Friends

It turns out, BabyGirl isn't as keen on joining the band as I was keen on her joining the band. Given her choice, she'd much rather learn to play guitar. That sounds much more reasonable to me. I think we'll tuck that idea away for her birthday since her summers are pretty wide open.

There were rental options available for between $25 and $45 a month. Doesn't sound like much, but if you figure it into a rent-to-own option, you end up paying double what the instrument is worth....and it's yet another bill to add to our monthly pile. I really don't want to do that. There are some instruments available for free from the school on a first come first serve basis. But since BabyGirl wasn't all that sure she wanted to join, I figure there are kids who really want to be in band and cannot afford the rental fees.

And the thought of adding to BabyGirl's current work load isn't really something I want to consider. She has so little down time through the week, I'd hate to push her into something she's not sure about.

On a completely unrelated note, I'm a bit worried about Bitsy's imaginary friends. She's the only one of our four kids to really have imaginary friends....and they're not very nice. Neenee hasn't been here in weeks because every time she came to play, she pinched and had to be sent home. Moomah has taken her place as the favorite imaginary friend lately. Moomah sleeps a lot...and goes to the store almost daily. She texts and calls on the old cell phone Uncle Little BIL gave Bitsy constantly, but she's not often around the house. The few times she's been here, she's said things that were "bad" according to Bitsy. Bitsy yells at her and tells her she has to leave. I haven't heard anything about Googie (who's name changes randomly) in quiet a while. Bitsy just told me Googie's been singing lately. Maybe that's why she's too busy to play.

Who has imaginary friends that they don't want to play with? And don't most kids' imaginary friends live at home with the imaginer? Not ours. They all have their own homes or possibly one home they share- I'm not sure. They might have parents of their own (it depends on the day of the week and Bitsy's mood). They all have their own pets. They have lives far apart from ours. They have adventures we know little about.

I guess it's better than when my friend Did had an imaginary boyfriend. She was 5 or 6 (I think). He broke up with her. Maybe Bitsy's related to Did.

The high price of art.

BabyGirl is in fourth grade. At our school that means she can join beginning band. I've always wanted my kids to play an instrument. I never learned and would love for them to have that opportunity. The music store rep is going to be at school next week to help the kids pick out an instrument. They can set us up on a rental program for an instrument to see if the kids like them.

I sent a note to the music teacher asking about prices and available instruments. She sent me some links so I could check them out. All I can say is, "WHA??" I know instruments are not cheap. I was not living under a delusion that we'd pay $75 and BabyGirl would own her very own clarinet, but never did I suspect that a flute could run us $1,400-$1,800. That's more than I paid for my first car....almost double.

There are a few options available that I need to look into, but at the moment, things are not looking good.

Mechanical Wonders

This morning BabyGirl & I were getting ready for our day. She was off to school & I had to go to town to do the running. I asked her if there was anything she needed from the store. This is not a question I normally ask the FarmHands and BabyGirl was momentarily stumped.

When she regained her composure she said, "Yes, could you get me some mechanical pencils for school?"
"Why?"
"So I won't have to go to the pencil sharpener all the time."
"Is your teacher OK with mechanical pencils?" Knowing some teachers are very picky about what kids bring in to class.
"Mrs.T LOVES mechanical pencils."

OK, good enough for me. I found a package of 8 super cute, ultra-girly, squishy gripped mechanical pencils & a small refill of lead to go with them. I gave them to BabyGirl when she got home from school.

"I can't believe you got them!"
"I said I would. You said you needed them."
"Yeah, but I never thought you'd get these pencils! I love them!"

Yes, I am an amazing mother. You all can bask in my mad mothering skills as long as you like.

Sniffing the fumes of lovelieness.

Imagine if you will, a young couple moving into the first home they've purchased together. It's a lovely home. Some would call it a starter home being of the 3 br, 2 bthrm variety, but this young couple plans on living out their lives in it. It's a simple house with enough light to make the wife happy and when she is happy so is he.

Imagine again, if you will, that the couple is asked by the company who put their house in to allow a year before they paint the walls. This year will give the house time to settle & that may cause the dry wall to crack a bit in places. After that year the company will send someone back to repair any cracks and then the couple can paint to their hearts' desire.

Imagine one last time that the couple is expecting their second child just weeks after moving into the home and their third before the one year waiting period is up. What do you think has happened to the paint plans? You guessed it. They've been put aside to leave more time for napping and diapering and potty training and putting up fence to corral the new livestock.

Seven plus years later & the only rooms that have been touched are the kids' rooms and the kids' bathroom. One room is bright pink and the other 2 are light green. The rest of the house is still sporting spray-on-primer-white.

Things need to change, folks.

Yesterday we went to Wal-Mart after attending Husband's family reunion to look at water seal for the FarmHands' play ground equipment. Instead we left the store with 2 gallons & one quart of paint from the "oops" shelf. You know the paint people have mixed then change their minds or get it wrong? It's half price. Choosing the color scheme of your home around other people's mistakes is an interesting way to go.

And even more interesting are the rooms we've chosen to paint. Last night Husband painted my laundry room. No one ever comes in our front door. Our side door is the normal point of entry and it leads into a small mud room that is part of my laundry room. It leads from there into my kitchen. My mud room/entry way/laundry room is now a lovely shade of purple. I wish it had a name, but alas, "oops" paints are nameless. Perhaps I shall name it Dusty Amethyst.

The second room we painted is less a room and more a hall way. It's the hall that opens off the kitchen and runs between the kids' rooms with their bathroom in the middle. It is now a yet-to-be-determined shade of dark gray. I think it's more purple than gray. Husband says it's a blue gray. The kids are split on the matter.

In all this, the thing that strikes me odd is that our kitchen, living room, and master bedroom are all still primer-white. Don't most people paint the public areas of their homes first? I think there is something wrong with us. I'm hoping this color infusion will lead to more color bleeding into the kitchen and living room...but I'm not holding my breath. We've averaged a room every other year so far. That means the house should be done around 2016 or so.

In totally unrelated news, BabyGirl came home with a Silly Band today. When I asked where it came from she said, "Kyle gave it to me. You know, my ex-boyfriend. Someone threw it at him so he just gave it to me."
"So he just gave it to you but he's not trying to get you back, right?" I asked....tentatively.
"Yeah."
"OK. Just checking. When was he your boyfriend?" I only found out about this "relationship" last week or so.
"Back in third grade." Yeah, way back in third grade...last year.
"Why did you break up?"
"Oh, because he only wants girls for their money......and he was cheating." Oy. They sure do start out young. And I'm not really sure I want to know what constitutes "cheating" when you're 8. I'm really hoping it means he chased another girl during tag at recess.

Homeschooling pipe dream

If you don't read Ordinary Days, you really should. Sarah is charming, witty, funny, creative, and a wonderful mother. Last year she undertook Homeschooling her three boys...at the same time she was expecting their fourth child & first girl. Her homeschooling style sounds heavenly. She & her kids take walks, play outside, tinker around the house and all the time she weaves learning into their every day lives.

I have often dreamed of my children sitting at our table with papers, pencils, and books spread out around them a la Dugger Family Homeschool. Bubba & Princess were homeschooled through Junior High & High School. I had grand plans for it myself. But when we ended up in a little school in a little school district with low teacher/student ratios, I changed my mind.

And there was also the issue of BabyGirl & the isolation that was already setting in 5 years ago. BabyGirl was never away from Husband or myself. She had no friends her own age. Our church family was also our blood family. There wasn't much opportunity for her to meet other kids or socialize so I though Pre-K was very important...and it might help her keep her clothing on.

Now, 5 years & 3 kids in school later, part of me wishes homeschooling was an option for us. I think the boys would have no real problems adapting to mom as a teacher. BabyGirl would fight the idea tooth & nail & probably eat ground glass before giving in & admitting I am capable of teaching addition.

The though of doing school work when we want to and not on someone else's schedule is heavenly. The thought of getting our work done in 4 hours as opposed to the 8 hours it takes them in school is bliss. The thought that I wouldn't have to worry about #1 Son learning such touching phrases as "I'm gonna' kick your ass!" makes me warm & fuzzy......but then.....

Then BabyGirl comes home with 3 pages of homework that should take her 45 minutes tops and we're still working on it 4 hours later and I toss all my homeschool dreams in the trash. It's not that she's really struggling with the material. It's that she's struggling with me. And locking horns with me. And butting heads with me. And fighting tooth and nail with me. Over what? Any & Everything.

One minute she's screaming at me to get out of her room because I don't know what I'm talking about and I don't understand what she's trying to do. 20 minutes later she's asking for my help on the same problem and listening attentively while I explain to her that she added 24 to 56 instead of subtracting it.

Besides, at school she has to wear real clothes & not just my old tank tops & a pair of PJ shorts.

It's a Hard Knock Life

I have had very strong opinions on televisions in children's bed rooms. I never wanted my kids to have them. I was very vocal about that. As per the norm for these situations, I'm now eating my words.

I came home from church last fall (I think) to find Husband had moved the little used television out of our bed room and into the boys' room. I was not happy. But the children were over the moon. And it was much easier for Husband and I to watch, let's say House...or Heroes...or NCIS without missing 70% of the dialogue or worrying about the kids seeing a dismembered corpse.

But the honeymoon phase didn't last long. BabyGirl wanted her own entertainment and wasn't satisfied with having a turn every now & again at picking out a movie to watch in the boys' room. Add to that the argument over who got to sit where in the small floor space directly in front of the television and things spiraled down at lightning speed.

Sunday Husband and I bought the old TV that sat in Grandma M&M's sewing/laundry/spare room from the Garage Sale Pile QM has been working on. BabyGirl now has her own telly and all is right in our worlds again. I even got a 2 hour, relatively uninterrupted nap in this afternoon while everyone stayed safely in their own rooms and didn't fight. Wonder of Wonders, Miracle of Miracles.

My issues with TV's in their rooms have not entirely flown the coop. The only satellite hook-up in the house is in the living room. They can only watch DVD's in their rooms. That way I don't have to worry about what they're watching. I don't have to lock MTV or Teen Nick so they can't watch The Hard Times of RJ Berger or Degrassi: The Boiling Point. I don't have to worry about anyone accidentally ordering Pay-per-view or watching an episode of Three and a Half Men. I feel much safer knowing the worst they'll see is Tim Curry trying to toss Annie off a train trestle.

Speaking of Annie....BabyGirl is Obsessed with Annie. I think she watched it 4 times yesterday. No lie.

Now I love a good musical starring Carol Burnett as much as the next girl, but if I have to hear "Tuh-maarruh, Tuh-maarruh, I love ya', Tuh-maarruh! Yer only a daaaaay aaaaaa-waaaay!" one. more. time. I may lose what little is left of my mind.