OK. I'm on a rant and will totally forgive you if you choose to go elsewhere and read something peppier. Consider yourself warned.
I am a mom of 4 grade school children. I despise homework. I have spent hours upon hours wrestling over math problems, arguing Grammar with a 9 year old, searching text books for answers to questions even I don't grasp. That being said homework is part of our lives. I don't like it but I deal with it.
I just read/watched a blog about opting out of homework for your child. You can check it out if you like: http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/roadside-assistance-kristen-howerton/2012/09/05/can-i-opt-my-kids-out-of-homework/ (Yup, I'm too tired to link it prettily in HTML tonight.)
Maybe it's the fact that I work in a public school (and believe it or not, the kitchen deals with may of the same issues as the class room) or maybe it's the fact that I've been fighting the homework battle for 6 years or maybe it's the fact that I'm sleep deprived, but this really struck a nerve with me.
Saying my kid doesn't have time for homework because my husband and I both work and we have to make it to music lessons and sports practices and dance class makes me angry. If lessons and practices and classes are interfering, perhaps your child is over involved. Perhaps school is enough. And as a former SAHM, my current work status has nothing to do with my kids ability to finish their homework. They're home the same amount of time whether I'm at work or not.
Saying I don't want to be "that mom," but I really don't think homework is necessary for my child automatically make you "that mom." Anytime you march into your child's class room & demand your child be treated differently from the other 24 kids in the room without seriously good cause (such as a learning disability), you are being "that mom," and you are announcing that your child does not need to follow the rules.
Saying my child is at school for 7 hours a day- if teachers can't get it taught in 7 hours they must not be doing their jobs only shows you have no clue what goes on in a public school on a daily basis. Do you have any idea how much time is spent dealing with behavior issues? Bathroom breaks? Lunch? Recess? PE? Music? Library? Sharpening pencils? Repeating already given instructions? Blowing noses? Simpy getting 25 kids to change from one task to the next? If in a 7 hour day, 4 hours of actual teaching is accomplished, I'd say they had a pretty good day.
When reading the comments on the blog I came across one that said this really is a first world problem. We are so entitled that we go looking for things to complain about. I can promise you that 50 years ago no parent would ever have asked a teacher to allow their child to "opt out" of homework.
I'm sorry, but your child is not special. My children are not special. They are all kids. They are all going to grow up to be adults. They are all going to work for a living. They are all going to have bad days, horrible bosses, and bills to pay. It's part of life. It's not all of life. If they don't learn to deal with unpleasant tasks when they're children and adaptable, how are they ever going to deal with them as adults?
Rant over- for the moment. Good night.
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rants. Show all posts
September 5, 2012
June 29, 2012
Things that make you go, "Ewwwww!"
Now imagine that title being sung by C+C Music Factory.
I am easily grossed out. Things that don't bother other people give me the Hebe-geebies. Somethings make me physically ill, others just really make my skin crawl....and being the kind and thoughtful person I am, I think I need to share them with you. Ready? Go!
I am easily grossed out. Things that don't bother other people give me the Hebe-geebies. Somethings make me physically ill, others just really make my skin crawl....and being the kind and thoughtful person I am, I think I need to share them with you. Ready? Go!
- Spit- seriously I cannot abide saliva. It makes me want to hurl. Anything to do with it freaks me out. Ordinary Sarah posted about being gifted spit shined jump boots and I thought, "I would never wear shoes again."
- Mucus- OK, so no one really likes this stuff, but I have an aversion to it that rivals a phobia. A child at school informed me that she had a cold then proceeded to lift her head so I could see up her nose and proclaimed, "See? Lots of snot!" 2 things. #1- She was old enough to know this is not a polite way to tell someone you don't feel well. #2- She was old enough to keep her nose clean & obviously had not. I almost threw up on the cafeteria floor.
- Roaches- Again, unless you're an entomologist, who really likes roaches? But the sight of a roach scurrying across the ceiling is enough to make me come unhinged. Don't believe me? Ask Swiss Miss- my first college roommate. I ran screaming from our dorm and hid in the hallway while she killed the only roach I ever saw in our room. In the country we have wood roaches. They thrive on rotten wood & being that we live surrounded by a wooded area, they are abundant. I can deal with them living in the rotten stumps outside, but they occasionally wander into my bathroom (not the kitchen or pantry- just the bathroom) and wait to be smashed. By the time I've killed one, I've convinced myself that I must shower immediately or face a similar fate to Gregor Samsa.
- (Now this is where it gets strange) Cotton balls- yes, I detest those little white, fluffy things you use to remove eye make-up, craft sheep in Sunday School, and pour peroxide on to clean a cut. Touching a cotton ball is tantamount to getting a filling with no Novocaine in my book. It physically makes my teeth ache. If I wet them quickly, I can deal with them just long enough to get nail polish off my badly chipped manicure, but I absolutely cannot pull them out of a pill bottle to get to the medicine beneath. That is a job strictly reserved for Husband or a FarmHand who happens to wander by. And don't even get me started on the cotton they pack your mouth with after dental work. I'm gagging just thinking about it.
- Walking on snow- My reaction is nearly the same as the one I have when touching a dry cotton ball. My skin crawls. I shudder. A shiver runs up my spine. I can abide neither the sound nor the feeling of a deep snow fall under foot. Sledding I'm fine with. The thought of snowshoeing makes me break out in hives. It's kind of a fingernails on the chalk board thing for me.
My mother has issues with displaced hair. If it is not firmly attached to your head, it should not be present anywhere. Just the picture of my ponytail before I donated it was enough to make her sick at her stomach. She cannot stand to see someone brush their hair out in a kitchen (something we're oddly prone to as that's the last place in the house we tend to be before ushering everyone out the back door). She cannot stand to watch someone clean out a hair brush. In fact, when she donated her her hair, she took the envelope pre-stamped to the stylist and made her package and mail the hair because QM didn't even want to handle the envelope once it contained "free" hair.
Another friend had issues with pencil erasers. The sound they made. The feeling of them dragging across the paper. The left behind bits all over a desk top. It set her on edge.
So now I must ask, what makes you squirm? Reptiles? Birds (it's more common than you'd imagine)? Babies who stare? Clowns? Regis Philbin's voice? Spill!
So now I must ask, what makes you squirm? Reptiles? Birds (it's more common than you'd imagine)? Babies who stare? Clowns? Regis Philbin's voice? Spill!
January 16, 2012
Someday they'll give me grand kids. Someday they'll give me grand kids.
"I am hoping your silence since then is simply because you've been too busy doing things like going to Church, breaking up Farmhand brawls, and feeding your menagerie, and NOT due to the fact that the 'Hands revolted and committed a cannibalistic act..." -Kork in the comments on the post below
Fear not, Kork. My children have not resorted to cannibalism. Yet. "Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called 'cannibalism,' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. "
Although I'm beginning to understand why animals eat their young (the title is my new mantra). I understand Martin Luther King Jr. did great things for the civil rights movement in our country, but why must my children stay home from school just because he was born? Couldn't they celebrate his life's achievements better if they were in an integrated school system instead of arguing in my living room?
Today, while cooking corn on the cob for their lunch, my microwave died. Kaput. Nothing. Zilch. It simply ceased to function. Now this appliance is around 2 years old, so I am less than happy. In this day & age, a microwave is a necessary piece of kitchen equipment. I was prepared to hop in the van, head to town and purchase a replacement. There are very few things I can do entirely without. A microwave is one of them. Especially with four perpetually hungry children in my house.
Husband was a bit calmer & said to wait & we could go to town in the morning while the FarmHands were at school to get one. As I was looking on line at what Walmart had to offer, I hear him say, "It's really not a necessity. People got along just fine before microwaves were invented." I answered back, "Yeah, and they got along fine without air conditioning, too, but I'm not trying that." He tried (jokingly, I think) to convince me to wait until our normal trip to town on Friday to get a replacement. As you can imagine, that suggestion was not met with enthusiasm.
So now I am frantically searching for the perfect replacement & hoping I don't have to do this again next year.
Who ever thought of small appliances as disposable deserves to have every one of the tiny beasts in their home catch on fire at the same instant. (Maybe that's going a bit far, but I'm deep in the throws of a wicked bad case of PMS & any kindness I've ever felt toward my fellow humans has been buried under an avalanche of hormones. I'll apologize later.)
Fear not, Kork. My children have not resorted to cannibalism. Yet. "Everything in this room is eatable, even *I'm* eatable! But that is called 'cannibalism,' my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies. "
Although I'm beginning to understand why animals eat their young (the title is my new mantra). I understand Martin Luther King Jr. did great things for the civil rights movement in our country, but why must my children stay home from school just because he was born? Couldn't they celebrate his life's achievements better if they were in an integrated school system instead of arguing in my living room?
Today, while cooking corn on the cob for their lunch, my microwave died. Kaput. Nothing. Zilch. It simply ceased to function. Now this appliance is around 2 years old, so I am less than happy. In this day & age, a microwave is a necessary piece of kitchen equipment. I was prepared to hop in the van, head to town and purchase a replacement. There are very few things I can do entirely without. A microwave is one of them. Especially with four perpetually hungry children in my house.
Husband was a bit calmer & said to wait & we could go to town in the morning while the FarmHands were at school to get one. As I was looking on line at what Walmart had to offer, I hear him say, "It's really not a necessity. People got along just fine before microwaves were invented." I answered back, "Yeah, and they got along fine without air conditioning, too, but I'm not trying that." He tried (jokingly, I think) to convince me to wait until our normal trip to town on Friday to get a replacement. As you can imagine, that suggestion was not met with enthusiasm.
So now I am frantically searching for the perfect replacement & hoping I don't have to do this again next year.
Who ever thought of small appliances as disposable deserves to have every one of the tiny beasts in their home catch on fire at the same instant. (Maybe that's going a bit far, but I'm deep in the throws of a wicked bad case of PMS & any kindness I've ever felt toward my fellow humans has been buried under an avalanche of hormones. I'll apologize later.)
December 16, 2011
The real question is, "Do they care it's Christmas time?"
As promised in my post below, I'm now going to tell you my most despised Christmas song.
Do They Know It's Christmas Time? by Band Aid. And yes, I have a few reasons to share with you. (You didn't really think you'd get off with just a pat answer, did you?)
First of all, let's take a look at the lyrics:
Paul Young
It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade.
Boy George
And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy!
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time.
(Phil Collins on the drums)
George Micheal
But say a prayer -
pray for the other ones
At Christmas time.
Simon Le Bon
It's hard, but when you're having fun,
There's a world outside your window,
Sting and Simon Le Bon
And it's a world of dread and fear,
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.
Bono
Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Where nothing ever grows,
No rain or rivers flow,
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Here's to you,
Raise your glass for everyone.
Here's to them underneath that burning sun.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time...
First of all, these are quite possibly the worst lyrics I've ever heard. With the exception of the "Feed the World, Let them know it's Christmas time," hook, this song is drivel. And the hook isn't really that amazing in it's self.
I realize that at the time the song was written there was a massive drought & famine taking place in large parts of Africa, but I'm pretty sure there were still rivers flowing & rain falling in places. I'm also sure that something grew there. It wasn't a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I also know that many, many people died during that famine but the line "The greatest gift they'll get this year is life," is horrible. I know this wasn't the intent, but to me it sounds like Band Aid is granting this gift of life themselves.
Bono's line makes me want to punch him in the face. "Well, thank God it's them instead of you." WHAT?? Thank God my neighbors are starving but my family is fine. Yeah, that's a great attitude to have. The sentiments may have been pure, but the execution leaves much to be desired.
And we're going to offer up a toast to starving children in Africa? Really? Yeah, I'm sure tossing back a Bacardi & Coke is going to help fight world hunger.
My real issue is that for some reason it's unacceptable for starving people in a drought ravaged country to not know it's Christmas. I'm pretty sure they were more concerned about feeding their families one meal a day than about celebrating anything.
But the real icing on the cake is the short voice over by Bob Geldof at the end of the song. "This record was recorded on the 25th of November 1984. It's now 8am on the 26th. We've been here 24 hours and I think it's time we went home."
I'm so very sorry you had to spend 24 hours in a recording studio. It must've been so difficult. How ever did you manage? It was nearly too much for Western society to ask of it's elite musicians. Why didn't you mention Status Quo's contribution? I'm sure it really eased the burden you were all under.
"Once Status Quo produced their bag of cocaine and the booze started to flow – I brought six bottles of wine from my flat, which disappeared in a minute – it became a party." -Robin Eggar
Yup, nothing says Feed the Hungry in Honor of the Birth of Our Savior like a booze & drug fueled marathon recording session.
Oh, and if you're looking for the perfect Christmas break-up song to replace the Wham! classic (I think Handel may be rolling over in his grave over that one), you might want to try Fall Out Boy's Yule Shoot Your Eye Out.
Do They Know It's Christmas Time? by Band Aid. And yes, I have a few reasons to share with you. (You didn't really think you'd get off with just a pat answer, did you?)
First of all, let's take a look at the lyrics:
Paul Young
It's Christmas time, there's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade.
Boy George
And in our world of plenty, we can spread a smile of joy!
Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time.
(Phil Collins on the drums)
George Micheal
But say a prayer -
pray for the other ones
At Christmas time.
Simon Le Bon
It's hard, but when you're having fun,
There's a world outside your window,
Sting and Simon Le Bon
And it's a world of dread and fear,
Where the only water flowing is a bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom.
Bono
Well, tonight thank God it's them instead of you
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time.
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life.
Where nothing ever grows,
No rain or rivers flow,
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Here's to you,
Raise your glass for everyone.
Here's to them underneath that burning sun.
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time and
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time...
First of all, these are quite possibly the worst lyrics I've ever heard. With the exception of the "Feed the World, Let them know it's Christmas time," hook, this song is drivel. And the hook isn't really that amazing in it's self.
I realize that at the time the song was written there was a massive drought & famine taking place in large parts of Africa, but I'm pretty sure there were still rivers flowing & rain falling in places. I'm also sure that something grew there. It wasn't a post-apocalyptic wasteland. I also know that many, many people died during that famine but the line "The greatest gift they'll get this year is life," is horrible. I know this wasn't the intent, but to me it sounds like Band Aid is granting this gift of life themselves.
Bono's line makes me want to punch him in the face. "Well, thank God it's them instead of you." WHAT?? Thank God my neighbors are starving but my family is fine. Yeah, that's a great attitude to have. The sentiments may have been pure, but the execution leaves much to be desired.
And we're going to offer up a toast to starving children in Africa? Really? Yeah, I'm sure tossing back a Bacardi & Coke is going to help fight world hunger.
My real issue is that for some reason it's unacceptable for starving people in a drought ravaged country to not know it's Christmas. I'm pretty sure they were more concerned about feeding their families one meal a day than about celebrating anything.
But the real icing on the cake is the short voice over by Bob Geldof at the end of the song. "This record was recorded on the 25th of November 1984. It's now 8am on the 26th. We've been here 24 hours and I think it's time we went home."
I'm so very sorry you had to spend 24 hours in a recording studio. It must've been so difficult. How ever did you manage? It was nearly too much for Western society to ask of it's elite musicians. Why didn't you mention Status Quo's contribution? I'm sure it really eased the burden you were all under.
"Once Status Quo produced their bag of cocaine and the booze started to flow – I brought six bottles of wine from my flat, which disappeared in a minute – it became a party." -Robin Eggar
Yup, nothing says Feed the Hungry in Honor of the Birth of Our Savior like a booze & drug fueled marathon recording session.
Oh, and if you're looking for the perfect Christmas break-up song to replace the Wham! classic (I think Handel may be rolling over in his grave over that one), you might want to try Fall Out Boy's Yule Shoot Your Eye Out.
Santa Baby, Hurry down the Chimney & Die.
Sorry. It just came to me. I had no idea just how polarizing a Christmas music debate could be. Folks have really strong opinions on what's the worst Christmas song & they have some really compelling reasons.
Last night I posted the following as my status on Facebook:
"Worst Christmas Song Ever- Go!"
The results were entertaining to say the least. And guess what. As a special treat just for you, I'm going to share some with you.
Anna says: Little Drummer Boy. Geewwww. I just can't take a song seriously that has purumpupumpum in the lyrics. This was one of my favorite Christmas carols as a child because of the prumpumpumpum. Now it's the reason it drives me crazy. Emily agrees with Anna on this one.
To which Nic replied: I always say "rum" instead of "drum" when singing "Little Drummer Boy." "Bum" works too.
Nic's vote was for something totally different: "Baby It's Cold Outside." Because date rape is soooo hilarious. Every time I hear that I want to buy pepper-spray stocking stuffers for all the women I know, and all the ones I don't too. Cannot say I'd ever thought of it that way. I've always loved that song simply for the 1940's esque sound & harmony. After reading that it kind of gives me the creeps. A Starry Night agrees.
Pam was scarred as a child by a Christmas song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. When I was little that song made me cry and cry... I can see how that would traumatize a child. And she wasn't alone in her hatred of this one. Sarah, Jeremy, and Tanya all agreed with her.
Courtney made a more sweeping comment: Every Christmas song ever turned into a hip hop remix by a 15 second famous pop star is so disturbing I can't even describe. There is a trend to put CHRIST back in Christmas. I think we should put the psalm back in the Christmas song. Preaching to the choir, sister!
Kari & Charlene agree on one: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas! Hands down! OK, once upon a time, I would have agreed with this, but no longer. The song was written by John Rox & recorded by 10 year old Gayla Peevey in 1953. An Oklahoma City promoter quickly picked up on the song's popularity & the singer's local roots and put the song to work raising money to purchase Peevey an actual hippopotamus. When presented with her hippo, Gayla donated it to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Now the song tickles me & it makes Bitsy laugh so it's all good in my book.
Santa Baby is very popular on the list. Ordinary Sarah says, " That whiny voice and begging for stuff, drives me crazy!" And while I wholeheartedly agree, I cannot help but love the song. It goes back to my love of mid-century music & Ertha Kitt. Who doesn't want to listen to Cat Woman sing Christmas music? Apparently Rachel, Jen, and A Starry Night.
Unfortunately for B.B., All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth also made our list. Tanya's exact phrase was, "Gag me," and Rachel gave an, "Ugh." In all actuality he needs 3 front teeth for Christmas, but we'll settle for 2.
Oddly 2 songs by the Beatles or former Beatles made the list & somehow I don't think I've ever heard either one. Ashley said, " As much as I love the Beatles and Paul Mccartney, 'Wonderful Xmas time' is really annoying..." and Zann followed up with, " John Lennon 's Happy Christmas (War is Over) drives me crazy. Of course I don't like the Beatles nor John Lennon so..that probably plays into it."
Neece cracked me up with this one: Feliz Navidad. And I can say this because I married into a Hispanic family. But the joke is on me because my 1 year old daughter loves it and dances when she hears it. So of course I play it for her to see her dance. Hate that song.
Nikki & Monica dislike Last Christmas & I am right there with them. It's whiny & it bugs the living daylights out of me. Personally I think Wham! should be kept as far away from the holidays as is humanly possible.
I couldn't have put this next one any better had I tried, so I'm leaving it entirely to Heatherintheboro: Christmas Shoes. I can't deal, makes me mad and I cry. Who would let a kid go shopping for shoes with no money when Mom is dying? THANK YOU!! And I don't know a child in the world who would want to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. A new dress? Yes. A piece of jewelry? Sure. Shoes? For someone who's bedridden? No. And his dad is obviously around. If Mom is on her death bed, who's let the kid leave the house to roam around a shopping center?
I was going to post my most hated Christmas song, but since this is the post that never ends, & I do not know the meaning of the word concise, I think I'll break it into two. Stay tuned!
Last night I posted the following as my status on Facebook:
"Worst Christmas Song Ever- Go!"
The results were entertaining to say the least. And guess what. As a special treat just for you, I'm going to share some with you.
Anna says: Little Drummer Boy. Geewwww. I just can't take a song seriously that has purumpupumpum in the lyrics. This was one of my favorite Christmas carols as a child because of the prumpumpumpum. Now it's the reason it drives me crazy. Emily agrees with Anna on this one.
To which Nic replied: I always say "rum" instead of "drum" when singing "Little Drummer Boy." "Bum" works too.
Nic's vote was for something totally different: "Baby It's Cold Outside." Because date rape is soooo hilarious. Every time I hear that I want to buy pepper-spray stocking stuffers for all the women I know, and all the ones I don't too. Cannot say I'd ever thought of it that way. I've always loved that song simply for the 1940's esque sound & harmony. After reading that it kind of gives me the creeps. A Starry Night agrees.
Pam was scarred as a child by a Christmas song: Grandma got run over by a reindeer. When I was little that song made me cry and cry... I can see how that would traumatize a child. And she wasn't alone in her hatred of this one. Sarah, Jeremy, and Tanya all agreed with her.
Courtney made a more sweeping comment: Every Christmas song ever turned into a hip hop remix by a 15 second famous pop star is so disturbing I can't even describe. There is a trend to put CHRIST back in Christmas. I think we should put the psalm back in the Christmas song. Preaching to the choir, sister!
Kari & Charlene agree on one: I want a hippopotamus for Christmas! Hands down! OK, once upon a time, I would have agreed with this, but no longer. The song was written by John Rox & recorded by 10 year old Gayla Peevey in 1953. An Oklahoma City promoter quickly picked up on the song's popularity & the singer's local roots and put the song to work raising money to purchase Peevey an actual hippopotamus. When presented with her hippo, Gayla donated it to the Oklahoma City Zoo. Now the song tickles me & it makes Bitsy laugh so it's all good in my book.
Santa Baby is very popular on the list. Ordinary Sarah says, " That whiny voice and begging for stuff, drives me crazy!" And while I wholeheartedly agree, I cannot help but love the song. It goes back to my love of mid-century music & Ertha Kitt. Who doesn't want to listen to Cat Woman sing Christmas music? Apparently Rachel, Jen, and A Starry Night.
Unfortunately for B.B., All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth also made our list. Tanya's exact phrase was, "Gag me," and Rachel gave an, "Ugh." In all actuality he needs 3 front teeth for Christmas, but we'll settle for 2.
Oddly 2 songs by the Beatles or former Beatles made the list & somehow I don't think I've ever heard either one. Ashley said, " As much as I love the Beatles and Paul Mccartney, 'Wonderful Xmas time' is really annoying..." and Zann followed up with, " John Lennon 's Happy Christmas (War is Over) drives me crazy. Of course I don't like the Beatles nor John Lennon so..that probably plays into it."
Neece cracked me up with this one: Feliz Navidad. And I can say this because I married into a Hispanic family. But the joke is on me because my 1 year old daughter loves it and dances when she hears it. So of course I play it for her to see her dance. Hate that song.
Nikki & Monica dislike Last Christmas & I am right there with them. It's whiny & it bugs the living daylights out of me. Personally I think Wham! should be kept as far away from the holidays as is humanly possible.
I couldn't have put this next one any better had I tried, so I'm leaving it entirely to Heatherintheboro: Christmas Shoes. I can't deal, makes me mad and I cry. Who would let a kid go shopping for shoes with no money when Mom is dying? THANK YOU!! And I don't know a child in the world who would want to buy a pair of shoes for his dying mother. A new dress? Yes. A piece of jewelry? Sure. Shoes? For someone who's bedridden? No. And his dad is obviously around. If Mom is on her death bed, who's let the kid leave the house to roam around a shopping center?
I was going to post my most hated Christmas song, but since this is the post that never ends, & I do not know the meaning of the word concise, I think I'll break it into two. Stay tuned!
December 12, 2011
Wanted: LOTR Expert
Wanted to hire for a week or two: Someone with intimate knowledge of the entire Lord of the Rings world both literary & film versions. Must have in depth knowledge of the inner workings of the minds of both J.R.R. Tolkien & Peter Jackson.
Job Description: To sit with my children & watch the movies over & over again while answering their every question no matter how obvious or obscure no matter how many times they may ask the same question.
I kid you not, BabyGirl alone must have asked no less than 200 questions tonight while watching Return of the King. That's not counting the 75 questions a piece shot out by her brothers before their bedtime came around.
"Why does Smeagol hate Sam?"
"Why doesn't Frodo believe Sam about Smeagol being bad?"
"I thought Smeagol told Gollum to go away & never come back. Why is he back?"
"Why is it so hard for Frodo to walk?"
"Why does Frodo have to go with the elves?"
"Why are the elves tall? I thought they were supposed to be short."
"Why are the Hobbits' pants so short?"
"Is the king of the ghost army the same dead guy who tried to pull Frodo down into the swamp?"
"Sam carried the ring for a while. Why isn't he going with the Elves?"
"Doesn't Frodo have a life with Sam in the Shire? Why does he have to go with the Elves?"
"Why are Gollums eyes so big?"
"Why is Gandalf white now? I thought the white wizard was bad."
"Why won't Gollum eat the bread?"
"Wouldn't they die if they got that close to the lava?"
"Is Frodo just dreaming or is Gladriel really there?"
"Why wasn't Aragon already king?"
"Why can't a man kill the Nazgul?"
"Why do they call Peregrin 'Pippin'?"
"Why is that guy trying to set his son on fire? Can't he tell he's still alive?"
"What is that giant red eye thing?"
"I thought Isildur killed Sauron. How can he be coming back?"
"How old is that guy playing Frodo?"
"Do you think he's really a pretty happy guy in real life or is he really sad like Frodo at the end?"
Understand my problem? And that's only a portion of what was asked tonight...and only while watching the last movie. I thought I had a decent working knowledge of the story having seen the movies a few times, the cartoons many times, and having read the books a time or two...but no. My kids need to know what size shoes Hobbits would wear if Hobbits ever took up shoe wearing. Next time we watch them I'm going to take a nerve pill first & just make crap up as I go along.
Job Description: To sit with my children & watch the movies over & over again while answering their every question no matter how obvious or obscure no matter how many times they may ask the same question.
I kid you not, BabyGirl alone must have asked no less than 200 questions tonight while watching Return of the King. That's not counting the 75 questions a piece shot out by her brothers before their bedtime came around.
"Why does Smeagol hate Sam?"
"Why doesn't Frodo believe Sam about Smeagol being bad?"
"I thought Smeagol told Gollum to go away & never come back. Why is he back?"
"Why is it so hard for Frodo to walk?"
"Why does Frodo have to go with the elves?"
"Why are the elves tall? I thought they were supposed to be short."
"Why are the Hobbits' pants so short?"
"Is the king of the ghost army the same dead guy who tried to pull Frodo down into the swamp?"
"Sam carried the ring for a while. Why isn't he going with the Elves?"
"Doesn't Frodo have a life with Sam in the Shire? Why does he have to go with the Elves?"
"Why are Gollums eyes so big?"
"Why is Gandalf white now? I thought the white wizard was bad."
"Why won't Gollum eat the bread?"
"Wouldn't they die if they got that close to the lava?"
"Is Frodo just dreaming or is Gladriel really there?"
"Why wasn't Aragon already king?"
"Why can't a man kill the Nazgul?"
"Why do they call Peregrin 'Pippin'?"
"Why is that guy trying to set his son on fire? Can't he tell he's still alive?"
"What is that giant red eye thing?"
"I thought Isildur killed Sauron. How can he be coming back?"
"How old is that guy playing Frodo?"
"Do you think he's really a pretty happy guy in real life or is he really sad like Frodo at the end?"
Understand my problem? And that's only a portion of what was asked tonight...and only while watching the last movie. I thought I had a decent working knowledge of the story having seen the movies a few times, the cartoons many times, and having read the books a time or two...but no. My kids need to know what size shoes Hobbits would wear if Hobbits ever took up shoe wearing. Next time we watch them I'm going to take a nerve pill first & just make crap up as I go along.
September 2, 2011
Proving- once again- that I am not smarter than a fifth grader.
As if the game show wasn't enough to put me in my place, BabyGirl is officially a fifth grader. Every time I've watched AYSTA5thG I've thought, "That's insane! There's no way there teaching that in the 5th grade." Well, I'm here to tell you- I was wrong. So very wrong.
This week's Social Studies question: Explain each item & tell how it relates to free enterprise- economy, profit, supply & demand, import & export, consumer.
Whaaa?
Um....yeah...Free Enterprise...I know this one...it's....it's when....does it have something to do with Star Trek?
Science question: Name a group of organisms of only one kind that can interbreed in nature.
I am so gonna' fail 5th grade.
Luckily BabyGirl seems to have a better grasp on cellular structure and the ins & outs of Free Enterprise. Maybe she can tutor me.
In the meantime, I'm totally kicking first grade math's butt. Need 6's & 7's written on a dotted line? I'm your girl. Need a 3 blocks colored out of a row of 10? I can handle that. Need the shape on the right circled? Give me a second to think about which side is the right & which is the left & I'll get it done.
Third grade homework, thus far, hasn't given me too much trouble, but I know that time is coming. Soon there will be science where I'll get tangled in a sea of simple machines. And Social studies where the branches of government will reduce me to a mindless blob on the steps of the capitol building (distinguished from the other mindless blobs on Capitol Hill only by my sweat pants and t-shirts as opposed to their Italian silk pin-stripes).
Perhaps I should rethink my current goal of going back to school so I can be a teacher's aid. Most teachers (and parents for that matter) would much rather have someone proficient in multiplication and basic grammar...not a mathematically challenged ellipse addict.
But on a positive note- I sure can read!
This week's Social Studies question: Explain each item & tell how it relates to free enterprise- economy, profit, supply & demand, import & export, consumer.
Whaaa?
Um....yeah...Free Enterprise...I know this one...it's....it's when....does it have something to do with Star Trek?
Science question: Name a group of organisms of only one kind that can interbreed in nature.
I am so gonna' fail 5th grade.
Luckily BabyGirl seems to have a better grasp on cellular structure and the ins & outs of Free Enterprise. Maybe she can tutor me.
In the meantime, I'm totally kicking first grade math's butt. Need 6's & 7's written on a dotted line? I'm your girl. Need a 3 blocks colored out of a row of 10? I can handle that. Need the shape on the right circled? Give me a second to think about which side is the right & which is the left & I'll get it done.
Third grade homework, thus far, hasn't given me too much trouble, but I know that time is coming. Soon there will be science where I'll get tangled in a sea of simple machines. And Social studies where the branches of government will reduce me to a mindless blob on the steps of the capitol building (distinguished from the other mindless blobs on Capitol Hill only by my sweat pants and t-shirts as opposed to their Italian silk pin-stripes).
Perhaps I should rethink my current goal of going back to school so I can be a teacher's aid. Most teachers (and parents for that matter) would much rather have someone proficient in multiplication and basic grammar...not a mathematically challenged ellipse addict.
But on a positive note- I sure can read!
August 30, 2011
Will I ever learn?
Two years ago, Mrs.G asked if I'd be her room mother. #1 Son was in her first grade class & I'd never been room mom before so I said sure. Last spring she caught me in the hall & asked if I'd do it again for B.B.'s class. Why not. It wasn't so bad last time.
The problem? I'm not so good with responsibility. Not great with deadlines. Don't function well under pressure. And yes, being room mom is fraught with pressures. (Please know this entire post is total crap. I don't have anything better to write about today so I'm ranting about things that don't truly bother me. I really enjoy being room mom. I just enjoy complaining more.)
Today I'm slaving away over the class party list. Each parent was asked to sign up for a party. They could give me their top 3 picks & let me know if they were willing to help with more than one party. I'm now sitting with a stack of papers teetering on the edge of my printer desk trying to decide if the mom who only filled out 2 spots only wants to help with one of the two parties or both. Does the mom who said, "Any 2," really mean it or is she going to get pissed when I sign her up to help with Johnny Appleseed day? And who celebrates Johnny Appleseed day, anyway? I hate Johnny Appleseed. First of all I can never get that first "E" in the proper place in his name. Secondly he was the great-great-great....uncle of my third grade teacher & that woman was eeeeevil. It's all his fault I nearly had a nervous breakdown at the ripe age of 8. If he had prevented his siblings from procreation, I could have had a kind, gentle third grade teacher instead of the red-faced, screaming, child hater I had. In retrospect, she might have been going through the change of life. That would explain a lot. And she did read The Box Car Children to us, so she wasn't entirely bad. But since only one mom showed any interest in Johnny Appleseed Day, I get to put my name in with hers & "Any 2 Mom."
Curse you, Johnny Appleseed.
At least this year I don't have to fuss over the snack schedules. Those nearly killed me last time. This job should come with a year supply of Ben & Jerry's.
(Yeah, total crap.)
The problem? I'm not so good with responsibility. Not great with deadlines. Don't function well under pressure. And yes, being room mom is fraught with pressures. (Please know this entire post is total crap. I don't have anything better to write about today so I'm ranting about things that don't truly bother me. I really enjoy being room mom. I just enjoy complaining more.)
Today I'm slaving away over the class party list. Each parent was asked to sign up for a party. They could give me their top 3 picks & let me know if they were willing to help with more than one party. I'm now sitting with a stack of papers teetering on the edge of my printer desk trying to decide if the mom who only filled out 2 spots only wants to help with one of the two parties or both. Does the mom who said, "Any 2," really mean it or is she going to get pissed when I sign her up to help with Johnny Appleseed day? And who celebrates Johnny Appleseed day, anyway? I hate Johnny Appleseed. First of all I can never get that first "E" in the proper place in his name. Secondly he was the great-great-great....uncle of my third grade teacher & that woman was eeeeevil. It's all his fault I nearly had a nervous breakdown at the ripe age of 8. If he had prevented his siblings from procreation, I could have had a kind, gentle third grade teacher instead of the red-faced, screaming, child hater I had. In retrospect, she might have been going through the change of life. That would explain a lot. And she did read The Box Car Children to us, so she wasn't entirely bad. But since only one mom showed any interest in Johnny Appleseed Day, I get to put my name in with hers & "Any 2 Mom."
Curse you, Johnny Appleseed.
At least this year I don't have to fuss over the snack schedules. Those nearly killed me last time. This job should come with a year supply of Ben & Jerry's.
(Yeah, total crap.)
August 24, 2011
And I thought fourth grade was bad.
Fifth grade may be the end of me. I think I've grown 7 new gray hairs in the week the FarmHands have been back in school. BabyGirl is, oddly, exceptionally resistant to homework in every form. Her teacher, unfortunately, is not.
Normally, the beginning of the school year is the one time BabyGirl & I are not going head to head over homework. She usually starts the year off on an up swing, excited to be back. This year, not so much.
And for the record I have no problem with her teacher or the amount of homework he assigns. I think most of the work is meant to be done in class, but Miss I-have-issues-with-time-management-and-don't-you-dare-suggest-that-I'm-dawdling-even-when-I've-spent-thirty-minutes-sitting-in-the-toy-box-chewing-on-a-bobby-pin doesn't seem to think she has any hand in the 40 pounds of text books she's lugging home every night. She also doesn't seem to think there's a problem with taking 45 minutes to eat a cup of yogurt before she starts on her homework making it nearly 7 o'clock before she even starts.
She was just asking me about open house at the school tomorrow. She wants to show us something in her class room. I told her it would all depend on how much time we have after she's finished her homework. Her reply was a guttural growl. "I'm sorry, dear, but our lives now revolve around when you get your homework done. It's not any fun for any of us."
This morning I was telling Husband about the past few nights of arguing & fighting. His response: Home school her. Mine: Yeah, that's a great idea. I can't even get her to do 30 minutes worth of homework. How exactly am I supposed to get through a full day of necessary education? Not to mention the fact that my daughter and I are like oil and water. I hate admitting that, but we simply do not get along. I love her with all my heart, but the kid and I, left alone for long intervals with a task to accomplish, are volatile. It's a pretty crappy situation.
Add to that, the chaos that ensues in the rest of the house when I'm trapped in a room with an irate BabyGirl and the other 3 FarmHands are left alone. Eventually she'll get frustrated, start screaming, and stomp off & I'm able to go deal with the other catastrophes that are taking place.
Yeah, I really love this part of my job. Anyone looking for work as a fifth grade tutor? It doesn't pay much (nothing, really) but the work is steady &...um....challenging.
(Note: I'm not really looking for advice here. I just really need to vent...unless of course you have some really groundbreaking advice for me other than "make her do her homework as soon as she gets home" or "give her a break when she gets home & let her unwind" or "send her work to school unfinished if she doesn't get it done to be sure she knows it's her responsibility" because I've tried all in one way or another.)
Normally, the beginning of the school year is the one time BabyGirl & I are not going head to head over homework. She usually starts the year off on an up swing, excited to be back. This year, not so much.
And for the record I have no problem with her teacher or the amount of homework he assigns. I think most of the work is meant to be done in class, but Miss I-have-issues-with-time-management-and-don't-you-dare-suggest-that-I'm-dawdling-even-when-I've-spent-thirty-minutes-sitting-in-the-toy-box-chewing-on-a-bobby-pin doesn't seem to think she has any hand in the 40 pounds of text books she's lugging home every night. She also doesn't seem to think there's a problem with taking 45 minutes to eat a cup of yogurt before she starts on her homework making it nearly 7 o'clock before she even starts.
She was just asking me about open house at the school tomorrow. She wants to show us something in her class room. I told her it would all depend on how much time we have after she's finished her homework. Her reply was a guttural growl. "I'm sorry, dear, but our lives now revolve around when you get your homework done. It's not any fun for any of us."
This morning I was telling Husband about the past few nights of arguing & fighting. His response: Home school her. Mine: Yeah, that's a great idea. I can't even get her to do 30 minutes worth of homework. How exactly am I supposed to get through a full day of necessary education? Not to mention the fact that my daughter and I are like oil and water. I hate admitting that, but we simply do not get along. I love her with all my heart, but the kid and I, left alone for long intervals with a task to accomplish, are volatile. It's a pretty crappy situation.
Add to that, the chaos that ensues in the rest of the house when I'm trapped in a room with an irate BabyGirl and the other 3 FarmHands are left alone. Eventually she'll get frustrated, start screaming, and stomp off & I'm able to go deal with the other catastrophes that are taking place.
Yeah, I really love this part of my job. Anyone looking for work as a fifth grade tutor? It doesn't pay much (nothing, really) but the work is steady &...um....challenging.
(Note: I'm not really looking for advice here. I just really need to vent...unless of course you have some really groundbreaking advice for me other than "make her do her homework as soon as she gets home" or "give her a break when she gets home & let her unwind" or "send her work to school unfinished if she doesn't get it done to be sure she knows it's her responsibility" because I've tried all in one way or another.)
July 29, 2011
Mother Nature's Hot Flash didn't so much "Flash" as "Pull up a Chair & Stay for Dinner."
I am so over this summer. I know I griped about the cold & snow all winter but I've had about all of the 90+ degree, 90% + humidity days I can handle. The heat has taken on a nearly malicious tone lately. It's no longer just a hot, muggy summer. It's beginning to feel like the heat is malevolent & intentional. I fear I may accidentally boil the FarmHands in their swimming pool.
Last week they wanted me to empty the ice trays into the pool. Unfortunately, it would have been far too little far too late. This week we have only made it out of doors before 5 o'clock once...and that dip was very short lived. My skin felt like it would blister just walking from the clothes line to the pool.
We've been cloistered in doors for the past 3 weeks or so. Hours of Wii, Disney Channel, coloring, and Little People play sets have been our salvation. Well, less like salvation and more like a desperate attempt to keep sanity in the general vicinity. I'm not going for improvement of their minds at this point. I'm going for please don't let them murder & eat one and other. Especially since it's too hot to cook & they'd be eating their siblings raw. Ewww.
Next week is Vacation Bible School at church. With no end in sight to this oppressive heat, that means 2-3 hours a night, all week long, in a sweltering building crammed with 50 or so sweating, sticky children and 30-40 exhausted & nearly dehydrated adults. I'm beginning to think we need to move VBS to the middle of October. Please pray we have a good week & no one melts into a pew. They're solid wood antiques. Oh, and we really like the kids better when they don't have to be scraped into a bucket to be returned to their parents.
(Disclaimer: I really do love the week of VBS as much as I may will gripe about the heat, noise, amount of work, craziness, and exhaustion. I'm teaching 3rd & 4th grades again this year & I hope & pray some kids, who wouldn't hear it any other way, will learn about the love of Christ!)
Last week they wanted me to empty the ice trays into the pool. Unfortunately, it would have been far too little far too late. This week we have only made it out of doors before 5 o'clock once...and that dip was very short lived. My skin felt like it would blister just walking from the clothes line to the pool.
We've been cloistered in doors for the past 3 weeks or so. Hours of Wii, Disney Channel, coloring, and Little People play sets have been our salvation. Well, less like salvation and more like a desperate attempt to keep sanity in the general vicinity. I'm not going for improvement of their minds at this point. I'm going for please don't let them murder & eat one and other. Especially since it's too hot to cook & they'd be eating their siblings raw. Ewww.
Next week is Vacation Bible School at church. With no end in sight to this oppressive heat, that means 2-3 hours a night, all week long, in a sweltering building crammed with 50 or so sweating, sticky children and 30-40 exhausted & nearly dehydrated adults. I'm beginning to think we need to move VBS to the middle of October. Please pray we have a good week & no one melts into a pew. They're solid wood antiques. Oh, and we really like the kids better when they don't have to be scraped into a bucket to be returned to their parents.
(Disclaimer: I really do love the week of VBS as much as I may will gripe about the heat, noise, amount of work, craziness, and exhaustion. I'm teaching 3rd & 4th grades again this year & I hope & pray some kids, who wouldn't hear it any other way, will learn about the love of Christ!)
July 24, 2011
Oh the Dilemma....
I have a purple laundry room.
I know, it's horrible, isn't it? I just don't know what to do. I may need therapy.
Wait, I'm pretty sure I've left out some important details. What have we covered so far? Oh, yes, I have a purple laundry room.
Have I mentioned the red washer & dryer that are being delivered to my house tomorrow? I haven't? Whoops. That may help clarify things a bit.
Can you really put a red washer & dryer in a purple laundry room? Is it socially acceptable or a complete interior design faux pas? I'm really in a quandary over this.
In case you've missed it, or you live in say...Canada...we in the Midwest have been suffering through the hottest summer since the 1930's. I have a mildly defective outdoor thermometer hanging in my kitchen window & it's read over 100 degrees every day this week. The humidity has lingered around 98-99% all week. It's been like living in a pile of wet blankets. Hot, wet blankets. Smelly, hot, wet blankets. It's not been pleasant.
Thursday night my dryer committed suicide. I'm not sure what happened. I assumed it was protesting having to run in such unholy heat & humidity, but that same humidity was keeping clothes on the clothes line damp forhours days weeks. Yes, weeks. Weeks & weeks. At least that's my excuse for running it during a record breaking heat wave...that & totally not the fact that just stepping out my back door left me in desperate need of a shower & the FarmHands were succumbing to total anarchy when left alone long enough to hang a load of towels.
Husband came home from work & tried to use his FarmBoy skills to resurrect it but sadly his efforts were in vain. He talked to his buddies at work & was told a similar occurrence happened to one of them. Said buddy had his dryer fixed only to have it give up the ghost for good 3 months later. That's when Husband decided it was probably time for a new dryer. Being All High Queen of the Laundry around here, I wasn't about to argue.
So yesterday we loaded up the FarmHands (such a brilliant idea when you're going appliance shopping...take 4 kids who will be bored & all have to pee within the first 3 mintues of actual shopping) and headed to town to see what Sears had in stock. We didn't plan on purchasing, just looking (this seems to be a theme with us). We both agreed that as long as the heat held, there was no immediate need for a new dryer. The clothes line works just fine.
But then they called to me. They are the yet to be named major appliances that are coming to live at my house tomorrow. They are a matched set of Red LG front load washer & dryer we found for $800 off the MSRP. And yes, I am totally going to name them. I'm not sure what yet, but I'll get there. And have I mentioned the $800's off?
Husband's biggest hang up was the fact that they are red & just a few months back we painted the laundry room purple. Yesterday he was threatening to paint it white, but I firmly put my foot down. "If you paint my laundry room, we're going to have words, Mister." See how firm I can be? Like granite.
I'm not at all worried about the color issue ($800 off, people!). I think it will look fine. For those of you saying, "Who cares? It's not like anyone really sees your laundry room anyway," um, yeah, they do. Every time they come in our house. Our most frequented entry way to the house is from our side door...that leads from the small mudroom to our kitchen....with the laundry room coming off one side.
At least my fancy new washer & dryer will get noticed.
I know, it's horrible, isn't it? I just don't know what to do. I may need therapy.
Wait, I'm pretty sure I've left out some important details. What have we covered so far? Oh, yes, I have a purple laundry room.
Have I mentioned the red washer & dryer that are being delivered to my house tomorrow? I haven't? Whoops. That may help clarify things a bit.
Can you really put a red washer & dryer in a purple laundry room? Is it socially acceptable or a complete interior design faux pas? I'm really in a quandary over this.
In case you've missed it, or you live in say...Canada...we in the Midwest have been suffering through the hottest summer since the 1930's. I have a mildly defective outdoor thermometer hanging in my kitchen window & it's read over 100 degrees every day this week. The humidity has lingered around 98-99% all week. It's been like living in a pile of wet blankets. Hot, wet blankets. Smelly, hot, wet blankets. It's not been pleasant.
Thursday night my dryer committed suicide. I'm not sure what happened. I assumed it was protesting having to run in such unholy heat & humidity, but that same humidity was keeping clothes on the clothes line damp for
Husband came home from work & tried to use his FarmBoy skills to resurrect it but sadly his efforts were in vain. He talked to his buddies at work & was told a similar occurrence happened to one of them. Said buddy had his dryer fixed only to have it give up the ghost for good 3 months later. That's when Husband decided it was probably time for a new dryer. Being All High Queen of the Laundry around here, I wasn't about to argue.
So yesterday we loaded up the FarmHands (such a brilliant idea when you're going appliance shopping...take 4 kids who will be bored & all have to pee within the first 3 mintues of actual shopping) and headed to town to see what Sears had in stock. We didn't plan on purchasing, just looking (this seems to be a theme with us). We both agreed that as long as the heat held, there was no immediate need for a new dryer. The clothes line works just fine.
But then they called to me. They are the yet to be named major appliances that are coming to live at my house tomorrow. They are a matched set of Red LG front load washer & dryer we found for $800 off the MSRP. And yes, I am totally going to name them. I'm not sure what yet, but I'll get there. And have I mentioned the $800's off?
Husband's biggest hang up was the fact that they are red & just a few months back we painted the laundry room purple. Yesterday he was threatening to paint it white, but I firmly put my foot down. "If you paint my laundry room, we're going to have words, Mister." See how firm I can be? Like granite.
I'm not at all worried about the color issue ($800 off, people!). I think it will look fine. For those of you saying, "Who cares? It's not like anyone really sees your laundry room anyway," um, yeah, they do. Every time they come in our house. Our most frequented entry way to the house is from our side door...that leads from the small mudroom to our kitchen....with the laundry room coming off one side.
At least my fancy new washer & dryer will get noticed.
April 11, 2011
Well crap.
I wrote half a post & hated it so I dumped it. I'm totally uninspired today. I'm tired of coming to my blog & reading the political rant below...it just depresses me. I could blog about Bitsy & her entourage of imaginary friends, but I don't feel like it. I could blog about BabyGirl's Springfield project for school that she got an A+ on, but I don't feel like it. I could blog about making B.B. cry when I teased that I wasn't going to give him $4 for his field trip to the zoo, but I don't feel like it. (I'm really a bad mom, aren't I?!) I could blog about #1 Son's upcoming tube removal surgery and that he's starring in one of the second grade plays this month, but I don't feel like it. I could blog about the fact that Husband has lost more than 20 pounds doing a couch to 5K program, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I should just skip blogging for today......
April 8, 2011
All right, folks, I'm getting a bit pissed off.
If my husband and the folks he worked with decided to start bickering over how to do their jobs do you think it would be allowed to continue? No way. If they caused the company to go so far over budget they might never get back in the black and brought production to a grinding halt, you can bet your sweet butt that they'd all be canned. No questions asked. No second chances. But our government? Nah, they can do what ever they please.This is ridiculous. I'm seeing this post all over Facebook today: Dear Mr. President, I hear you would like to freeze pay rates for soldiers starting next year. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save more money for our country? While you're at it, lets cut down all congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why should we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? REPOST if you support troops. Can't say I disagree. Another friend posted the following: ... if Planned Parenthood were really the great organization that so many people claim it to be, it should have no problem securing private funding so that it can remain open...low-income women aren't the victims here. it's the entire nation. both sides are pointing at the other, but that's just what they want us to do. if those responsible for budgeting in the private sector kept the budget in the red year after year, they'd be fired. or not paid. the people should be clamoring for a refund for their tax dollars from ALL elected officials. none of them should have been paid since October 1. including the president. I am honestly floored by the mere mention of the military pay being suspended while our government officials bicker like a bunch of preschoolers. You cannot tell me that a congressman sitting in a plush chair in a huge office deserves his pay on time while my cousin's husband will have to wait for his pay while he fights in Afghanistan. You want my two cents? Here it is. All members of government should have term limits...none of this 14 terms in office crap. No sitting as a judge until Alzheimer's has so addled your brain that you function like a 6 year old. No one should hold the same elected position for 30 years. No one. If it's your job to vote on bills or laws or anything at all, you darn well better show up and vote. No walking out. No skipping votes. No playing hooky. You were elected to govern our country. You're being paid to do so. Now do it. I think any congressman or senator who chooses not to vote on a bill should immediately lose his position. We have to do our jobs. You'd better do yours. As for this lovely practice of hiding riders in legislation...STOP IT!! It's dirty. It's underhanded. It should be illegal. If you want to pass a measure, write a bill about it. Do not hide it in another one that is totally unrelated. And stop this "if you don't pass my bill, I'll veto yours" crap. Grow up. NASA, Planned Parenthood, government funded arts programs, and other non-essentials, I'm sorry, but in the current economic conditions, you need to fund yourselves. If we cannot pay our troops and cannot take care of the people living on social security, we don't need to be pouring billions of dollars into space exploration, government funded abortions, or art exhibits. If we are in such a horrible fiscal place, why are we spending millions and millions of dollars on a war in Lybia? If there are no plans to get rid of Qaddafi (and can we please come to a consensus about how we're spelling his name?!), what's the point in being there? Can NATO not handle this one without us? Why are we there in the first place? If it's for humanitarian reasons, I'm positive we can find ways to help people in this country without sending our men & women to die overseas. I'm all for fighting for our own protection or for protecting the truly un-protected, but how do we justify borrowing money we cannot repay to fight a war half way around the world when folks are starving to death right here? Boys & Girls on Capitol Hill, if you don't do your jobs, don't expect to be paid...and I don't mean "if you are affected by the shut down." I mean, do not allow a shut down to occur or do not expect to be paid. Period. This is your job. Do it. I know that the term Shut Down is being used in the very loosest sense of the words. I know this is going to effect state parks and non-essential workers the most, but it still makes me very angry.
February 24, 2011
No one loves Poor Fanny Price.
Except me. I love her. I love her just as she is. I do not wish her to be someone she is not. I only wish others to love Fanny simply for being Fanny.
If you currently have no clue as to what I am referring, you have not read Mansfield Park by Miss Jane Austen. I hadn't read it until a few years back, preferring instead to read & re-read the much loved Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, or Emma. Then my mother went on a quest to fill out my Austen library to it's entirety. I now own every novel she ever wrote including the unfinished ones. And Mansfield Park is brilliant.
The problem being its heroine.
"Mary Crawford is, so it seems, the very model of a Jane Austen heroine. Spirited, warm-hearted, and, above all else, witty, she displays all the familiar Austen virtues, and she stands in need of the familiar Austen lessons as well......But Mary Crawford is not the heroine of Mansfield Park- Fanny Price is...." Amanda Claybaugh, Associate Professor of English and comparative literature at Columbia University.
The lovely folks at Austenprose.com have even tackled the question of why Fanny Prices rankles our ire.
You see, Fanny is a good girl. She is shy, retiring, quiet, well behaved, timid, and more than a bit insecure. Fanny is not dazzling. She does not sparkle. She does not hold the room's attention. She is entirely too plane Jane. And I adore her for it.
The film industry, on the other hand, despises Poor Fanny. They cannot leave the poor waif alone. Heaven forbid a movie be made about a genuinely good person. Instead they attempt to make Fanny more daring, more interesting, more Hollywood. They warp her into an aspiring author or a closet feminist.
I have seen portions of 2 versions of MP and could finish neither. Both versions went completely against who Fanny was. Both versions tried to force her to be someone she simply is not. I've read that the 1980's version of the film (possibly a mini-series?) sticks much closer to Miss Austen's original character & story. I would really like to see for my self.
But in the meantime, could we all please leave Miss Price in peace...and quit trying to drastically change the person Miss Austen created?
(Yes, I realize just how hypocritical this sounds in light of the fact that I adore Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters.....but they are open and hones, as well as a bit tongue in cheek, about their adaptations of these classics. Therefore I wholeheartedly forgive them....but not the villains who've tainted Poor Fanny.)
If you currently have no clue as to what I am referring, you have not read Mansfield Park by Miss Jane Austen. I hadn't read it until a few years back, preferring instead to read & re-read the much loved Pride & Prejudice, Sense & Sensibility, or Emma. Then my mother went on a quest to fill out my Austen library to it's entirety. I now own every novel she ever wrote including the unfinished ones. And Mansfield Park is brilliant.
The problem being its heroine.
"Mary Crawford is, so it seems, the very model of a Jane Austen heroine. Spirited, warm-hearted, and, above all else, witty, she displays all the familiar Austen virtues, and she stands in need of the familiar Austen lessons as well......But Mary Crawford is not the heroine of Mansfield Park- Fanny Price is...." Amanda Claybaugh, Associate Professor of English and comparative literature at Columbia University.
The lovely folks at Austenprose.com have even tackled the question of why Fanny Prices rankles our ire.
You see, Fanny is a good girl. She is shy, retiring, quiet, well behaved, timid, and more than a bit insecure. Fanny is not dazzling. She does not sparkle. She does not hold the room's attention. She is entirely too plane Jane. And I adore her for it.
The film industry, on the other hand, despises Poor Fanny. They cannot leave the poor waif alone. Heaven forbid a movie be made about a genuinely good person. Instead they attempt to make Fanny more daring, more interesting, more Hollywood. They warp her into an aspiring author or a closet feminist.
I have seen portions of 2 versions of MP and could finish neither. Both versions went completely against who Fanny was. Both versions tried to force her to be someone she simply is not. I've read that the 1980's version of the film (possibly a mini-series?) sticks much closer to Miss Austen's original character & story. I would really like to see for my self.
But in the meantime, could we all please leave Miss Price in peace...and quit trying to drastically change the person Miss Austen created?
(Yes, I realize just how hypocritical this sounds in light of the fact that I adore Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters.....but they are open and hones, as well as a bit tongue in cheek, about their adaptations of these classics. Therefore I wholeheartedly forgive them....but not the villains who've tainted Poor Fanny.)
January 31, 2011
I'm done.
I am officially done with winter. Unfortunately, Mother Nature hasn't gotten my memo. She's decided it's perfectly acceptable to dump massive quantities of snow and ice on me. OK, so maybe just the ice. And maybe by "massive" I mean 1/4"-3/4" of ice...but personally I think anything over 0/4" is far too much.
I was supposed to take #1 Son to see his ENT today and get his ear tube checked, but decided against it when the thought of driving an hour and a half home in ice occurred to me. Husband is blaming global warming.
I am well stocked with milk, granola bars, and Ramen noodles, so we should survive. There are only 2 things I'm truly dreading. #1 is Husband driving to work in ice when the salt trucks do not know any roads within 3 miles of us even exist. #2 is the possibility of the power going out. I get a bit stir crazy when we're without electricity. I wouldn't make a good Amish wife. I really like my microwave and the fridge & freezer are pretty stinking important, too.
So here I sit, awaiting Snowmageddon 2011 and wondering if it's going to live up to the hype or will it go the way of Y2K (which I never believed in to begin with).
Keep warm, dear readers. Keep warm.
I was supposed to take #1 Son to see his ENT today and get his ear tube checked, but decided against it when the thought of driving an hour and a half home in ice occurred to me. Husband is blaming global warming.
I am well stocked with milk, granola bars, and Ramen noodles, so we should survive. There are only 2 things I'm truly dreading. #1 is Husband driving to work in ice when the salt trucks do not know any roads within 3 miles of us even exist. #2 is the possibility of the power going out. I get a bit stir crazy when we're without electricity. I wouldn't make a good Amish wife. I really like my microwave and the fridge & freezer are pretty stinking important, too.
So here I sit, awaiting Snowmageddon 2011 and wondering if it's going to live up to the hype or will it go the way of Y2K (which I never believed in to begin with).
Keep warm, dear readers. Keep warm.
January 24, 2011
Wanted: A Jack/Jenny of All Trades
Must be a self motivator and also be able to motivate other selves who'd much rather laze about in the recliner watching hours & hours of Doctor Who and Criminal Minds on the DVR. Must be extraordinarily patient because things in our house are...well...insane. Must be driven to clean house or at least entertain me while I clean. Must be able to quite a room full of screaming, angry children in under 15 seconds, preferably with no blood shed. Must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, and she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading....no...wait...that's what Miss Bingly & Mr.Darcy want in an accomplished woman. I just want someone who will keep me company, keep me sane, and rally with me against the madness that ensues when my children are all in doors at the same time.
It she/he could cook, that would be a plus.
Oh, and I should mention that there is no salary involved. Not room. Not board. But I will let you have all the fresh eggs you can carry...as long as my hens are laying.
It she/he could cook, that would be a plus.
Oh, and I should mention that there is no salary involved. Not room. Not board. But I will let you have all the fresh eggs you can carry...as long as my hens are laying.
January 13, 2011
An abundance of time.
Shortly before Christmas, we moved the computer into our bedroom. We are one of those quaint families with only a desk top that must stay in close proximity to our phone jacks. Since Husband naps a great deal during the day to make up for the total lack of sleep he gets at night, I have had to curb my Internet usage severely. And guess what. I'm not dead, yet.
It's amazing. You'd think I would have all this free time left since I'm not spending hours a day browsing places like www.cakewrecks.com and www.lamebook.com and www.savagechickens.com and the like. You'd think I would suddenly become an uber-productive member of society knitting hats for war widows and teaching blind orphans the states and their capitals. But instead I've been sucked into the worlds of Doctor Who, Firefly, Criminal Minds, and anything involving classic literature translated to film.
Someone help me before I turn into a couch cushion.
I am still doing Zumba at least 5 days a week. I only skip it on days when I've been very busy or spent the entire day cleaning house (that counts as cardio, doesn't it?).
It hasn't helped that we've spent most of the past few weeks snowed in in some form or another and that the FarmHands have been housebound making us all a bit testy. And I figure there's little to no point in really cleaning my house when my children are trapped inside and will just come behind me and destroy everything I've struggled to accomplish.
They went back to school today for the first time since Monday and I spent a full hour folding laundry. Just folding. Not washing or drying or ironing. After that I crashed like a 18 wheeler on black ice and spent most of the day vegging out in front of the telly (yes, I said telly. Sue me. Or sue the BBC since I've been watching it all afternoon). But I'm sure that had nothing to do with the hours spent on the couch last night when a certain small girl decided sleep was for wimps and instead we were going to, "Count all our letters."
Tomorrow is town day and I feel I must accomplish something. Even if it is a very small something....like putting away the laundry I folded today. Just kidding. I'm making the FarmHands do that.
It's amazing. You'd think I would have all this free time left since I'm not spending hours a day browsing places like www.cakewrecks.com and www.lamebook.com and www.savagechickens.com and the like. You'd think I would suddenly become an uber-productive member of society knitting hats for war widows and teaching blind orphans the states and their capitals. But instead I've been sucked into the worlds of Doctor Who, Firefly, Criminal Minds, and anything involving classic literature translated to film.
Someone help me before I turn into a couch cushion.
I am still doing Zumba at least 5 days a week. I only skip it on days when I've been very busy or spent the entire day cleaning house (that counts as cardio, doesn't it?).
It hasn't helped that we've spent most of the past few weeks snowed in in some form or another and that the FarmHands have been housebound making us all a bit testy. And I figure there's little to no point in really cleaning my house when my children are trapped inside and will just come behind me and destroy everything I've struggled to accomplish.
They went back to school today for the first time since Monday and I spent a full hour folding laundry. Just folding. Not washing or drying or ironing. After that I crashed like a 18 wheeler on black ice and spent most of the day vegging out in front of the telly (yes, I said telly. Sue me. Or sue the BBC since I've been watching it all afternoon). But I'm sure that had nothing to do with the hours spent on the couch last night when a certain small girl decided sleep was for wimps and instead we were going to, "Count all our letters."
Tomorrow is town day and I feel I must accomplish something. Even if it is a very small something....like putting away the laundry I folded today. Just kidding. I'm making the FarmHands do that.
November 23, 2010
This is what the Internet will do to you if left unattended.
On the radio this morning I heard an interview with Erica Jong, an author & feminist currently in the press for her article in the WSJ. In her article she claims that attachment parenting can be detrimental to society and parents both. I can't disagree with everything in her article even though I like the idea of attachment parenting. I think it's a societal problem more than a problem with a certain philosophy of parenting.
As parents (most especially as mothers) we fall into the trap of thinking there is only one right way to parent our children. We must breast feed. We must be SAHMs. We must wear our babies in a sling and co-sleep until they start third grade. And if anyone argues with us or chooses to raise their child in a vastly different way, we get very upset. We take it as a personal affront to our method of parenting.
One thing I have learned having four children in 6 years is that each child is different. Each parent is different. No one way is the right way to raise a child. Husband and I each have very different styles of parenting. Each of our children must be parented in a vastly different way. I think most rational people would agree with this idea and yet we tear into each other like vultures at the first sign of dissension.
Why is this? Is it guilt? Are we so insecure in our own choices that if someone disagrees with how we parent that we immediately tear them down?
While reading Ms. Jong's article I stumbled upon the phrase Baby Farming. I had an idea of what was meant by it, but I wasn't sure. Wikipedia filled me in on the details. Baby Farming was a late Victorian Era practice where upper class women or unmarried mothers would send their babies out to be raised by someone else for a fee. Unfortunately the amount of money given the foster mothers was often too little to actually raise a child on. The babies of unwed mothers were often sold or given away. In some cases, the babies were left to die with no one the wiser while the foster mothers collected more babies and more money.
As I was looking up information on Baby Farming, I came across something called an Uncyclopedia and this article (you click, I'll wait here.........done? OK, on with the blog). Yeah, that's right. An entire Wikipedia-esque article about the farming of infants as a food source. Forget veal, this is baby eating. Oy. Someone out there has entirely too much time on their hands....
And you thought all my Jane Austen Zombie posts were bad. Admit it, you had no clue where this one was going.
As parents (most especially as mothers) we fall into the trap of thinking there is only one right way to parent our children. We must breast feed. We must be SAHMs. We must wear our babies in a sling and co-sleep until they start third grade. And if anyone argues with us or chooses to raise their child in a vastly different way, we get very upset. We take it as a personal affront to our method of parenting.
One thing I have learned having four children in 6 years is that each child is different. Each parent is different. No one way is the right way to raise a child. Husband and I each have very different styles of parenting. Each of our children must be parented in a vastly different way. I think most rational people would agree with this idea and yet we tear into each other like vultures at the first sign of dissension.
Why is this? Is it guilt? Are we so insecure in our own choices that if someone disagrees with how we parent that we immediately tear them down?
While reading Ms. Jong's article I stumbled upon the phrase Baby Farming. I had an idea of what was meant by it, but I wasn't sure. Wikipedia filled me in on the details. Baby Farming was a late Victorian Era practice where upper class women or unmarried mothers would send their babies out to be raised by someone else for a fee. Unfortunately the amount of money given the foster mothers was often too little to actually raise a child on. The babies of unwed mothers were often sold or given away. In some cases, the babies were left to die with no one the wiser while the foster mothers collected more babies and more money.
As I was looking up information on Baby Farming, I came across something called an Uncyclopedia and this article (you click, I'll wait here.........done? OK, on with the blog). Yeah, that's right. An entire Wikipedia-esque article about the farming of infants as a food source. Forget veal, this is baby eating. Oy. Someone out there has entirely too much time on their hands....
And you thought all my Jane Austen Zombie posts were bad. Admit it, you had no clue where this one was going.
October 31, 2010
Because, once again, everyone cares what I think about everything.
Thursday was the finale of Project Runway....and can I just say....Why?!
What was the point in watching x number of weeks of fashion competition just to have the judges hand the prize over to the most matronly, over done, blah of a designer of them all. Gretchen's entire collection made me think I was watching a revival of Woodstock filmed entirely on sepia film. It was 1973 meets a design student recently home from vacation in Central America.
It was boring. It was ugly. It was disappointing.
I think Nina & Michael have been drinking the kool-aid a little too long.
If this is the direction fashion is going to take, I think I'll go back to Grunge. It has similar shapes & looks more comfortable.
Mondo, I'm so sorry you lost to Gretchen. That was a travesty. Oh, and would you care to make me a pencil skirt? Thanks so much.
What was the point in watching x number of weeks of fashion competition just to have the judges hand the prize over to the most matronly, over done, blah of a designer of them all. Gretchen's entire collection made me think I was watching a revival of Woodstock filmed entirely on sepia film. It was 1973 meets a design student recently home from vacation in Central America.
It was boring. It was ugly. It was disappointing.
I think Nina & Michael have been drinking the kool-aid a little too long.
If this is the direction fashion is going to take, I think I'll go back to Grunge. It has similar shapes & looks more comfortable.
Mondo, I'm so sorry you lost to Gretchen. That was a travesty. Oh, and would you care to make me a pencil skirt? Thanks so much.
October 19, 2010
Can someone please explain this to me?
Yeah, so I wasn't really gone. I'm not completely sure I'm back, though. We shall see.
Until I make up my mind about this whole blogging sabbatical, I need to run something by the general public.
Friday I was at Wal-Mart as per usual. Bitsy & I had to make a second quick trip through the store to pick up a few things I forgot. As we reached the Express Counter, there was a new clerk coming in to take the current clerk's place so she could take her lunch break.
The conversation went like this:
Clerk #2- Are you ready for your break?
Clerk #1- Yes. Are you taking my place?
Clerk #2- Yup. When ever you're ready?
Clerk #1- Alright, I'm hungry. It's all yours. (She logs out of the register & gathers her things.)
Clerk #2- What did you bring in your lunch?
Clerk #1- A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Clerk #2- Yum!! That sounds good!! Enjoy! (She was very adamant about how good that sandwich sounded.)
Clerk #1- Thanks. See you in a few.
Clerk #2- (watching #1 walk away, she turns to me) Yeah, that doesn't really sound good at all.
What?! I cannot imagine that Clerk #1 would have been in anyway offended if Clerk #2 hadn't said anything about her choice of sandwich. She wasn't awaiting #2's approval. She didn't ask #2's opinion. She sure wasn't offering her a bite.
Clerk #2 could have said, "Enjoy your sandwich," or, "Have a good break," or even, "Oh, I don't like peanut butter." Or she could have skipped her aside to me. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I had no part in the conversation at all. Why out herself in a lie to a total stranger?
I do not understand any of what transpired.
Until I make up my mind about this whole blogging sabbatical, I need to run something by the general public.
Friday I was at Wal-Mart as per usual. Bitsy & I had to make a second quick trip through the store to pick up a few things I forgot. As we reached the Express Counter, there was a new clerk coming in to take the current clerk's place so she could take her lunch break.
The conversation went like this:
Clerk #2- Are you ready for your break?
Clerk #1- Yes. Are you taking my place?
Clerk #2- Yup. When ever you're ready?
Clerk #1- Alright, I'm hungry. It's all yours. (She logs out of the register & gathers her things.)
Clerk #2- What did you bring in your lunch?
Clerk #1- A peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Clerk #2- Yum!! That sounds good!! Enjoy! (She was very adamant about how good that sandwich sounded.)
Clerk #1- Thanks. See you in a few.
Clerk #2- (watching #1 walk away, she turns to me) Yeah, that doesn't really sound good at all.
What?! I cannot imagine that Clerk #1 would have been in anyway offended if Clerk #2 hadn't said anything about her choice of sandwich. She wasn't awaiting #2's approval. She didn't ask #2's opinion. She sure wasn't offering her a bite.
Clerk #2 could have said, "Enjoy your sandwich," or, "Have a good break," or even, "Oh, I don't like peanut butter." Or she could have skipped her aside to me. I didn't ask. I didn't care. I had no part in the conversation at all. Why out herself in a lie to a total stranger?
I do not understand any of what transpired.
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