How to get an unscheduled day away from home.

Just come down with appendicitis.

Simple, right?

But I really don't suggest it.

Tuesday afternoon, around 5:30, I got sick.  My first thought was that I had a wicked bad case of gas & no gas-x in the house.  After trying every possible position to get comfortable I decided a hot bath would help.  It did, but only very temporarily.  It was Bucka's birthday and I had made him Cat Head Biscuits for dinner but had to call Busha and tell her we weren't coming because my stomach hurt too bad.  Then came the vomiting.  Fun.  After 2 extra-strength Tylenol and an hour on the couch with my hot rice bag, I was comfortable enough to sleep....but only if I didn't move at all.  It was a long night.

The next morning all 4 of the FarmHands had check-ups with our family doctor.  Husband went with us & planned on sitting in the car while I took the kids in to see Doc.  I told him I really thought I'd need his help inside.  Doc took one look at me trying to walk & he new something was wrong.  15 minutes later I was on my way to the hospital for a CAT scan.  By 1:30 that afternoon I was being wheeled down to surgery.

Grandma M&M had surgery in Indy on Monday so Mama was on her way to our neck of the woods when they took me back.  That was a God send because we really need her help around here right now.

Apparently the surgeon asked me if I wanted to go home the same day and I told him no.  I wanted to stay in the hospital over night because I didn't want to try to recover from surgery at home with 4 kids.

He opted to do an open appendectomy in stead of the laproscopic surgery because of how close my appendix was to the surface.  He said it would be faster and easier to get to it if he just opened me up.  I figured one opening as opposed to 3 sounded good to me.

I'm sorry if this post is a bit disjointed.  Vicodin and I are buddy-buddy right now.  I think it may be nap time.

The wonderful world of H.T.

For any of you who do not know, HT (or Heir to the Throne) is my four year old nephew. He is the son of my little sister, Princess & her husband Axl. He is an only child living withing shouting distance of his grandparents, who have no other grandkids near by. He is a fount of knowledge and is more dramatic than his Aunt FarmWife was at that age (and that's really saying something).

When he was little he called me "Haunch." It was his own strange mash-up of Aunt & my real first name but truly sounded like neither. All the grandkids call QM "Grammy." When H.T. says it, it comes out "Dammy"....which is actually a step up from what he used to call her. It used to just be "Dam." It got even better when he'd smash Mom and Grammy together because he called his mom "Bum"....I'll let you figure out the rest. It made for some interesting trips to the grocery for my mother.

QM & Daddy have taken to calling him U-man because of the posture he assumes when he gets upset or disappointed or anything other than thrilled. He folds himself nearly in half & stomps around the house looking oddly like the letter U. If you call him U-Man (or anything else not actually his name) he will quickly inform you that, "My name Heir to the Throne Finklestien to work at __________, Tennessee." That part about where he works is very important.

Things are never boring with HT around.

Today at lunch he had a place map with a map of the USA printed on it. He continually pointed to any yellow state & told me that was where he lived. I explained that just because Tennessee was yellow on that map, that didn't make every yellow state Tennessee. He thought I'd lost my mind.

My place mat had pictures of all the presidents on it. I showed him James K. Polk and he got very excited. President Polk lived in my hometown for a time and QM has told HT all about him. When he saw the picture he shouted, "Hey! Dat's James K. Polk! Him and me work at _________, TN!" Me, being the party pooper I am, said, "That's nice, babe, but James K. Polk is dead."

"NOOOOOOO, Aunt FarmWife! Don't say dat word to me. Don't say James K. Polk are dead a me!"
To which QM interjected, "HT, you and I have talked about this. James K. Polk lived in Tennessee one hundred years ago. He's been dead for a long time."
U-man hunched himself over & sighed the most heart wrenching sigh you've ever heard.

A few minutes later Daddy sat down at the table with us. I told HT to tell his Pa who the man in the picture was. "Pa, dat's James K. Polk. Him's my man and him really, actually died." QM prompted HT to tell what James K. Polk was and he told his Pa, "Him was da President of Ameg-uh-luh da United States."

Having him around has messed Bitsy up a great deal. She's not used to hearing other kids call me & Husband by our first names. She spent 15 minutes calling me "FarmWife" today at Bucka's house. She called her dad "Uncle FarmBoy" 5 or 6 times before calling him "Uncle Daddy."

She's also spent a great deal of time trying to keep HT in line. He had the nerve to try and open the gate on Busha & Bucka's fence yesterday. That left Bitsy no choice but to wrestle him to the ground and keep him there so he couldn't escape. And today we "played runnin' 'round in da yard" at Bucka's.

Life with HT is an adventure....even for us.

The Fun is Coming

You may remember earlier in the year when I asked you to be praying for my friend Diana and her husband Justin. Justin died after suffering serious complications from a surgery. Diana is a pre-k teacher and soon after Justin's death, she was told she wouldn't have a job this year. To say she's had a rough year would be the understatement of that particular year.

Art and I have been trying to arrange our schedules so the two of us could travel up to see Diana since February or March. Finally, here near the end of June, we're making the trip. We're driving up Friday and coming back to my neck of the woods on Saturday. I know parts of this trip will be hard. Diana is hurting. We hurt for her. But we are going to do and be what ever she might need. Please pray for us in that.

That being said, I am crazy excited about this weekend. Art and I get to spend hours in the car together and that normally involves hours of laughing and singing and being silly. Once we get to Diana's, I know there will be even more laughing and silliness. As Truvy would say, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." I fully expect that. And I fully expect feeling like I've done 10,000 sit ups by the time we get home Saturday night. That's how I always feel after spending the day laughing with (and at) Art.

And to top it all off, this is my first real night away from the kids. I've been away from up to three of them at a time taking B.B. to The STL for his surgery last spring and taking QM home to TN when Daddy was in the hospital last summer. But I have never been away from all four children at once for "frivolous" reasons. To answer your question, No, I am not going to spend any time moping and crying because I miss my children. I love them, but a break is long past due.

QM is coming here to hold down the fort in my absence. Husband and I were discussing sleeping arrangements. We do not have a guest room. We do not have any extra beds. We are not really equipped for overnight guests. QM will be taking BabyGirl's bed in the room the girl's share. BabyGirl will be sleeping in my bed with her dad. Bitsy isn't happy with this arrangements. She thinks her Grammy should sleep in Mommy's bed where Mommy sleeps.....with Daddy. Daddy and Grammy disagree.

I can't imagine why.

One down, three more to go

We're having a fire sale here on the farm. Buy one child, get one free. We'll even toss in a dog if you call in the next five minutes.

OK. Maybe not.

BabyGirl went home with QM and Daddy yesterday. They were at Grandma M&M's house for the weekend. Uncle Gick is at their house to help Daddy build a staircase to the attic in "Drammy's dradge house," as HT calls the garage. When Uncle Gick heads home he'll bring BabyGirl back with him. It's a bit open ended (which doesn't bother me in the least) and that's causing some confusion among her siblings. "When is BabyGirl coming home? I miss BabyGirl," even though they've spent the last month screaming at each other and vowing to hate each other to their graves.

She was so excited about going that she tried to get out of church yesterday. "What if they get here and we're at church?!" I told her they would not leave without her. "I know. But I just want to go. I don't want to have to wait around." Apparently she was ready to get away from us. Then she wanted to take her suit case to church in case they showed up there. She wasn't very happy when she had to leave for church without luggage.

When we met up with QM & Daddy at Bucka's house, BabyGirl got her stuff loaded up, then loaded herself up in the truck. QM & Daddy were still chatting & saying good bye to everyone. BabyGirl was sitting in the truck, ready to go. Eventually she'd had enough & honked the horn at them.

Oh dear.

Last night QM told me that HT was mad when he found out BabyGirl was coming to Grammy's house. It may even have been dangerous. But as soon as she got out of the car, he ran out in the rain (in his Superman cape), hugged her, then drug her off to play with him. HT loves turning unsuspecting children into his minions. He should have a good week.

How cool am I?

Out of the last 4 nights, Bitsy's spent 3 of them in her own bed. She & BabyGirl have decided Bitsy's bed needs to be moved into "the girls' room" this summer. I'm all for it.

Rain has finally moved into our area. I was beginning to wonder where the April showers were hiding. Not that I adore being trapped inside with 4 children due to massive amounts of rain & mud, but the water in our pond was dropping. That can't be good this time of year.

Thanks to the rain, I'll have time to spend indoors working on some sewing projects I need to finish. Bitsy is determined to help, but she's scared I'm going to hurt myself on pins. That could have something to do with the fact that I keep telling her, "Don't touch those. You'll get an owie."

While my sewing machine is humming away in the farmland of Illinois, the Queen Mother's will be humming away in her "dradge house" in Tennessee. She's working on a Cosplay outfit for Beck to wear to MTAC. I'd say something snarky, but I've been to Ren Fest in costume....more than once. And would love to go again....shhhh.

You didn't know I was so cool, did you?

Recipe for a stressed FarmWife

• One part worry about Bucka
• One part exhaustion
• One part lengthy to-do list
• One part first night away from Bitsy
• One part uncertainty about the next few days
• One part serious kink in my neck & shoulders
• One part feeling a bit icky for the past 3 days
• 15 parts unnecessary stress over B.B.'s surgery (but it's Mama's job to worry over these things).

I can do this. I can't do it on my own. God can get me through this. He'll take care of my little man. He'll take care of me. He'll take care of the Queen Mother as she suddenly becomes "a single mother" to BabyGirl, Bitsy, #1 Son, and HT for a few days.

I have the wonderful love of my Blessed Redeemer way down in the depths of my heart!

But I'd really love it if you'd pray for us all.

These Boots are Made for Walkin'

Once upon a time, I was a Doc Martens kind of girl. In my defense, I grew up during the era of grunge rock. I wore my over sized jeans, funky t-shirts, and flannels. With my high school graduation money, I bought myself my first (and only) pair of Docs. They were my pride & joy. I dreamt of a day when some kid at school would taunt my children with, "Your mama wears combat boots," and my children would reply with, "And your point is?"

I rocked Chuck Taylor Converse All Stars with cow spots painted on one side & daisies painted on the other. I wore black Sketchers, canvas Chinese shoes, satin embroidered slippers, crochet flats, and many other odd items of foot ware.

Things have changed. Doc Martin has changed. Now, instead of coveting a pair of Ox Blood 16 hole combat boots, I covet these (Yup, they're Docs):

With a bit of age, some help from Stacy & Clinton, and influence from the Hot Mama Revolution, I've developed a new love for shoes. Girly shoes. Shoes with pointy toes. Shoes with heels. Shoes I wouldn't have touched with a 10 foot pole in high school. Shoes better adapted to an office or a run way than a cow pasture or mine field. Shoes like these:

QM sent these up for me last weekend. She called me a few weeks back & asked my shoe size & I promptly forgot about it. Daddy gave me a big bag when he met us for our trip to the Circus Saturday. Tucked inside (along with some super cute flannel pajamas & new hair bows for Bitsy) were these fabulous boots. I immediately tried one on. Husband immediately told me I couldn't wear them to the circus. He had visions of me tumbling down the concrete steps of the arena with one of our children in my arms due to a misstep.

I've worn them everywhere since. Church on Sunday. To the eye doctor & Wal-Mart with #1 Son, B.B., and Bitsy yesterday. To take the kids to school & go visit Busha & Bucka today. They were a hit at pre-k pick up this morning.

Someday my feet & back will hate me, but for now, I'm rockin' the heels. Maybe I'll do like Sarah & wear them to vacuum.

You should see what Spell Check does to this post.

The Queen Mother babysits HT while Princess is at work & Axl sleeps (he works nights). HT does everything with his Grammy (who he calls "Deem") including blog reading. Last week he discovered my header picture. For a boy born & raised in the city by a rock n' roll Mama & Daddy, he's a little farm boy at heart. He saw the picture & informed his grandmother that they were his boots & Uncle FarmBoy's boots. Nothing QM could say would dissuade him from this truth.

In actuality it goes more like:
"Bee's boots. FarmBoy's boots. Bee's boots."
His own first name is a bit of a mouthful for a nearly 3 year old, so he refers to himself as "Baby" but it comes out "Bee." Husband's name is much easier & one of the few he's got down pat. As far as HT is concerned his Uncle FarmBoy is as close to the second coming as it gets. He adores Husband.

When asked if Haunch (me) and the kids are coming to see him at Grammy's, he nods yes then shouts, "FarmBoy coming! FarmBoy coming, Deem's house!" I'm afraid his little fat boy heart will break when we show up with out Husband. He's got to work, so he'll only be there Saturday for the wedding.

HT's gotten used to coming to our house during this busy summer. I wonder how he'll handle having all his cousins invade his space at Grammy's house. He might not feel like sharing Deem or Deem's toys with his "boys." I wonder if a three year old is capable of evicting a family of 5 from his grandparents' house. We may have to sleep in Mama's new garage (or "Deem's Dradge house" as HT calls it).

Football, Goofy, Birthdays, and Paint.

There's a Titans/Steelers game on TV tonight. I may actually watch an entire football game without my husband present....either that or the next installment of Heroes we got from Netflix today.

The FarmHands are watching Classic Goofy sports cartoons on DVD. I love Netflix.

Tomorrow is Friday. I've been ready for Friday since Tuesday. This week has taken far too long. Next week should keep me hopping. Children's Church on Sunday, B.B.'s birthday on Wednesday, snacks for B.B.'s class Wednesday for his birthday, snacks for #1 Son's class on Friday, and many more things I know I'm forgetting right now.

If I lived about 240 miles to my south I'd be hard at work painting & moving furniture at QM's house in preparation for Bubba & Beck's wedding & all the guests coming to town. Instead, I'm calling daily for updates on the progress. Princess may take up permanent residence at Mama's until all the work is done. I'm wondering if I can find a sitter for the weekend & convince Husband that I need to go help my sister paint my mom's living room.

On Knees & Nephews

At 3 am Saturday, I was dreaming that I had repeatedly hit my right knee on something. Son of a gun, if it didn't hurt! About that time, Bitsy decided to make her grand entrance into our room. Husband had just gotten home & collapsed into bed. Suddenly I realized my dream had carried over into the waking world. My knee hurt.

I ended up in the living room at 3:30 browsing Yahoo Answers for information on Bursitis. My knee never ended up quite as swollen as the last time I battled this (July 14th to be exact), but it's still not been pleasant.

By Sunday night I was running a low grade fever, had a horrible headache, and felt like I was coming down with the flu. Yesterday morning, I called the doctor's office for an appointment. He said he thinks it's an infection (exactly what the orthopedic specialist said a few weeks ago), but that I wasn't on a strong enough antibiotic the first time around. Doc broke out the big guns. Levaquin. Used to treat infections or to prevent or slow anthrax after exposure. Anthrax! This stuff better do the trick.

I say "better do the trick" because if the swelling, redness, fever and pain come back again, he wants to "do a fluid draw & cultures" which is code for "stick a big friggin' needle in your knee." Yahoo.

In the meantime, this week is VBS at church. The kids have a blast. I have a blast. We're all left exhausted by weeks end. I'm not teaching this year because tomorrow is #1 Son's tonsillectomy. I didn't think it wise to commit to being some where the night my son has his tonsils yanked out.

The Queen Mother & Heir to the Throne (also known as QM & HT, or my mother & my perfect, nearly 3 year old nephew) are here to help out. HT's been very excited to come babysit his cousins for me. Daddy told me most of the trip north, HT hollered, "Yoo-hoo! Haunch House!" (For some reason the boy calls his mother "Bum," his grammy "Deem," and me "Haunch." I'm not sure which one of us has it worse....well...Grammy did back when he called her "Dam" especially when he got excited & called her Grammy Mama which came out "Dam Bum!") I'm very excited that he's here. His cousins are thrilled that he's here. I hope they can all stay friends this week.

Husband is threatening to take the three oldest FarmHands swimming this morning at the local pool. I'm all for it. Especially since I won't be going. Bad knees & slippery surfaces are not a good combination.

One Small Step for BabyGirl, One Giant Leap for Her Mama

BabyGirl is leaving in the morning with her Grammy & Pa to spend a week in Tennessee. She's never been away from home for more than one night. I've never been away from any of the FarmHands for more than 3 nights in a row & most of those were spent in the hospital delivering siblings. I'm sure we'll all be fine.

BabyGirl is stoked. When it was first suggested that she go home with them, she was very unsure. Then she decided not to go. After a few hours, she changed her mind & we started packing. She is busily planning a week sans siblings. She's very excited to help Grammy watch HT for a few days.

I flip flop a great deal on this one. I'm so excited for her. I'm so glad she decided to go. I'm glad she's being brave. I'm looking forward to more time to spend with the boys & a few less fights. I'm nervous about being so far away from her for so long. But I'm pretty sure once the week is over I'll wonder where it went.

Growing up, I spent many, many weeks away from home. It wasn't a huge deal to find us spending a week with this aunt & uncle or a set of grandparents. My kids haven't had the same adventures. Husband is wary of letting them go because of things that went on in his extended family when they were little, so this is a really big step for him. I'm very proud of how he's handling it thus far.

I know my daughter & my parents are going to have a wonderful week & I'm looking forward to hearing all about it when she comes home!

I dreamed I ________ in my Maidenform bra.

Considering the one I purchased today to wear with my bridesmaid dress in Bubba & Beck's wedding and the three Princess sent me today (she sent 4, but only 3 were Maidenform), I could be doing just about any & everything in them from here on out.

I'm rather excited because these are the first "cute" bras I've had in quite a while. There's really not much to choose from in the Nursing Bra department & that's been my main support for the past 8 years. So having some sexy, non-mama bras may spur on a new chapter in my Hot Mama Revolution. Who knows, maybe I'll even go out on a limb & buy something other than Hanes Her Way cotton panties.....stranger things have happened.

In non-undergarment news, QM & Daddy met me & the FarmHands at the mall in E'ffinbill today. They went on the great bra hunt with me (OK, so maybe not entirely non-undergarment news. Did you know you can't find run of the mill backless strapless bras anymore? Now they're all convertable....and I thought that was only cars. Gah), then headed to the bridal store for my fitting, then QM decided she had a hankering for Chuck E. Cheese pizza, much to the delight of her grandbabies.

After cleaning up the pizzas rather quickly & playing until they were ready to drop at the Mouse House, we headed back to the mall to ride the carousel with Pa (the only grown up in the group who can go in circles repeatedly). We ran down to Old Navy to hit up their $2 ribbed tank top table, but it was picked nearly clean. Nothing over 9-12 months left. Instead I found a super cute swim suit on sale for BabyGirl & snatched it up.

Came home & tossed the FarmHands in the pool to burn off the last remaining drops of energy they have left. Now they're bathed, waiting on dinner, and watching a Silly Symphonies DVD Grammy brought for them.

My plans for the night? A little Breaking Dawn, a little Freakin' Fabulous by Clinton Kelly, and a little Pride and Prejudice and Zombies....yeah, you read that right. I'll tell you about it later, if you ask nice.

Vacation, vacation

Ahh, it's that time of year again. Vacation planning time. Since last year was the first vacation we've ever taken as a family, I was a tad surprised when Husband started talking vaca again this weekend.

We really only ever have a short list of places to go/things to do. This year we're looking at zoos. Mainly at the Grassmere Zoo in Nashville. I've never been there...at least I don't think I have. They built the "Nashville Zoo" shortly after we moved to TN & Mama & Daddy took us once. After that I think they moved locations. Daddy took BabyGirl to see the ring tailed lemurs when she was two...it was his first time babysitting any of his grands all by himself. Mama & I were at a women's conference in Nashville & we took #1 Son (who was about 4 months old) with us but left BabyGirl with her Pa.

Husband also wants to hit up the giant Bass Pro Shop at Opry Mills Mall since he's never made it there...but I have...twice.

I'm pretty sure if we end up in Nashville for vacation this year, QM & Daddy will be getting another phone call from the FarmHands. "Hey Grammy, do you want to come to the Zoo with me on my birthday?!" Mama, you have been warned.

We will now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

It has hit with a vengance. The after-company-blahs. Sunday I was kept hopping & busy most of the day with church, a family dinner, a few Blu-rays from Netflix, and a giant Carmel milkshake lovingly crafted by my darling husband.

Today? Meh. First off was the evil time change that leaves me feeling as though none of us has come close to enough sleep. Then was the back-to-school Monday morning madness that infects us once a week. Toss in skin that has reverted back to high school, enough laundry to fill every machine at the Sudsy-Dudsy, two full loads of dishes in the dish washer, and an exceptional amount of saw dust on my carpet, and it was all enough to make me spend the day facebooking, watching Wall-E repeatedly with the babies, napping in the recliner, and lounging about in my jammies until...oh...say, now. I have much to do & zero gumption. I truly believe there has never been a greater lack of gumption displayed in the Northern Hemisphere in the past 30 years.

I am missing Art & Did in a bad way. I'm wishing I could have stowed away in the back seat of Did's Toyota & spent the morning & early afternoon chatting with them & Ragged Around the Edges yesterday. I'm dreaming of a time when we can all get together again. I'm trying to decide if Did's hubby could be talked into moving up here when he starts his law practice. Add a healthy dollop of worry about Inkling's health & the surgery she is going to have today & I'm a hot mess.

I am officially homesick. Yes, yes, I know I am at home. I have finally come to terms with the fact that I, FarmWife, will spend the remainder of my years in a small ranch style house in the middle of no where. But home will always be where my Mama & Daddy are & that's where I want to be today.

I'm going to keep my chin up though. QM has adamantly, vemenantly, militantly declared she will be bringing HT (my nephew, Princess's son) to Busha's for Easter along with (and I quote) "Thirty dollars worth of chocolate & enough eggs to keep them busy all afternoon." I'm pretty sure she's bringing Princess & Daddy with her, but when I talked to her last week she didn't much care who else decided to hop in her HHR & make the trek. She & HT are coming if she has to lie, steal, cheat or kill. QM hasn't been up to see us since Thanksgiving, I haven't seen my nephew since last September, & we haven't been to Tennessee in far too long.

All I can say is, I need a little Easter, right this very minute.....maybe I'll just walk around in my new shoes for a bit & see if that helps.

(Pay no attention to the twig-like ankles sprouting from the super cute, four inch heels. They cannot be helped.)

Today is fresh with no mistakes in it....yet.

Bitsy decided at 5:30 this morning she had slept plenty long enough, thank you. So while her dad was getting ready to go freeze his hiney off in a tree stand, she was stationed at the back door supervising his progress.

So far none of the other FarmHands have stirred. I know this peace is short lived, but I am praying it's sustained through our day today. Yesterday, not so much.

My home is clean. My muscles ache from the process, but I am happy. A roast is simmering away in my crock-pot soon to be accompanied by an onion, some carrots, and a few potatoes. Laundry needs to be started. The dogs bedding washed.

At some point today my Aunt Anita/Silverbelle & my Uncle Greenteeth will be at my house as will the Queen Mother (she's on her way home following a funeral). Thanksgiving is nearly here which means a trip to Grandma M&M's, good food, and seeing lots & lots of folks I love...and getting to meet Inkling's newest nephew for the first time.

Things are looking up & I am resolved to keep that in mind today.

Don't worry, I'm still here.

Although I have been sucked in by the reunional loveliness that is facebook, I am determined not to abandon you here at Memoirs. Although I will admit that I have facebook open in another tab while I'm blogging. Does this mean I'm cheating on my blog? Do you feel betrayed? I have 47 friends on facebook & I've only been there two days. Maybe I need a support group. NaBloPoMo is helping to keep me focused.

In non-facebook news...nothing is happening here. Nothing at all. It's cold & rainy & I want to spend the entire day in bed watching classic movies, but I have four kids to wrangle & we don't have a television in our bed room. Guess that shoots my plans to heck.

Instead I will cloister myself indoors, watch too much TV, eat out of boredom, and try not to spend the entire day on the computer. Maybe I'll clean up my kitchen & bake a batch of gingerbread cookies. That sounds yummy & I have a bunch of new cookie cutters to use that the aunties brought the last time they came to visit.

In the meantime, check out the poll. Peeing in the shower seems to have won it, although there are more than a few of you that are grossed out by it. Thanks for voting! I'll have to think of something new to replace it. Any ideas?

In case you were wondering, Betty does a lovely job of boiling water. Her whistle isn't piercing or shrill and won't wake the dead, but it did alert me. I think I love her. And she almost matches my new coat (yes, I got it a few weeks ago but haven't taken a picture yet. I'll get to it soon).

BTW, I am pea green with envy right now. My folks are off enjoying a weekend away at a swanky hotel in the greater Nashville area compliments of one of Daddy's co-workers. Oh, and Daddy got a new iPhone this week. What is the world coming to?!

Dead Deer & FarmWife Answers

First of all, QM headed home yesterday. She stopped in the land of Chez Ragged to visit with her former sister-in-law and some great nephews & a great niece. She was nearly home when she hit a deer head on. Speed limit near QM's realm is 70 mph. She said she got just enough warning to hit the break, but not enough to slow down under 60 mph. Daddy called me & said QM was fine, but her HHR sustained a great deal of damage. While I hate that this happened to her, I am so thankful that it happened not only close to home, but only a few miles from where Daddy works & he was at work at the time, and even more so that she wasn't injured. I do have one thing to say to anyone driving behind her last night: When someone hits a deer going 60 MPH, STOP AND ASK IF THEY'RE OK!!!! Seriously.


Mrs.X starts off Ask FarmWife Day with a question about a house warming gift: What would you rather receive as a house-warming gift: handmade placemats with super kitschy fabric OR a beer cooler?

Well, aside from the fact that I detest beer, I still have to vote for the super kitschy placemats! That's an awesome idea! If you do whip some up, you must post pictures. I'm all about kitsch. It makes me warm & fuzzy inside.

Next my dear cousin Inkling is determined to make me work to keep up with Ask FarmWife Day. That's OK though. I love her & she's hormonal. I think I'll answer her last question first.

By the way, do I have to start paying you since I always ask too many questions? Is this a free service, or are you going to charge per query?

You know, I could make a killing off this service. If I could only bring home enough green to make my FarmBoy a kept man....but no, it's free & it shall stay that way. I will take a trade from you though. I want 5 minutes of uninterrupted Grasshopper holding time next Spring to make up for the fact that my baby would rather dance on the kitchen table than snuggle with me. Then we'll call it even.

Next she asks: 1. What brand of diapers do you swear by, and do you switch with varying stages and bottom shapes? (There's no way I'm doing cloth when it takes 180 minutes to dry a small load of regular clothing in this place. So give me a good landfill type to buy.)

Can't say much about landfill types. Again, I live in the country. There's not much in the way of eco-friendly options around here unless it's carried at Wal-Mart. Personally we're a White Cloud family. For a few months (maybe a year) with Bitsy we did the Huggies thing. She seemed to blow out White Clouds when she was tiny, but for the other FarmHands we were White Cloud all the way. They're cheaper but not bottom of the line. Your best bet would be to buy a few small packages of diapers in different brands & find out what works best for you. I can tell you that we always bough 4 or 5 packages of preemie diapers for the first 2 or 3 weeks. None of my babies had any butts to speak of & needed the tiny things.

#3. Are Walmart teething rings filled with okay ingredients? I found a cute one at a little shop in STL for $10 that claims to be filled with purified water, made of BPA/PVC free plastic, and healthier than anything you can buy at a regular store. One of the parent reviewers said it's the only kind she will use because it doesn't make her kid smell like the chemicals inside. Is this really an issue? Are we really letting our kids chew on chemicals if we go with the cheaper Walmart variety?

My kids only had the cheap Wal-Mart variety & I do not recall any chemical smells. That's just weird. I have to wonder if we're not so paranoid as a whole that we're seeing man-made evil everywhere. You could always opt for hand carved wooden teethers, but then you have to worry about splinters. Yuck. And you're talking about a creature that will willingly chew on a dirty diaper given the opportunity. I think there are more important things to worry about than filtered water in a teether....like catching E-coli when he chews on the shopping cart handle at the grocery.

#4. Can you freeze cream/milk-based soups like corn chowder and potato soup? I have a load of corn and potatoes to use up and was hoping to stock up my freezer for the winter with yummy soups.

I have frozen my potato soup in the past, but I don't really recommend it. I was OK when thawed out, but not really great. It changes the texture a bit & the liquid tends to separate. Tomato based soups freeze wonderfully! You could do a vegetable tomato chowder (like we do in the giant kettles). I have about 3 gallons of that in my freezer right now.

#5. Could you possibly justify spending nearly $100 on a bag that can do double duty as a diaper bag and a purse, and one that is sturdy enough to last for several children and several years? Just so you know, it's basic black, so it will coordinate beautifully with every outfit. If so, how? Seriously. I really want to know.

We discussed this last night on the phone, but I will restate it here for posterity (because I'm certain future generations will be reading my archives for the valuable information recorded here). If you can stand carrying the same bag for the next 8 years, go for it! For that price it should be well constructed. Personally, I have too big of a bag fetish to tie myself down to one bag for the rest of eternity. Oh, and just a hint for new moms or anyone shopping for diaper bags: if they're lined in any kind of plastic, it will tear away at any seams or closures. That's just the nature of the beast.

#6. What one baby item that isn't cheap would you forgo if you did this new mothering thing over again? What did you find to be not as handy as you'd hoped?

For us it would be the front carrier. But mainly because we didn't know what to look for in one. Ours was horrible to try to load baby into unless you sprouted a second set of arms a la Kali. Mainly we discovered things I would have changed in baby gear. Like a swing without a tray across the front or an open top (both would be preferable). The walker wasn't really that useful & took up WAY too much space. None of my kids were super keen on their bouncy seat, but then that's just a baby by baby thing. I would have skipped the diaper genie all together. It's a pain & much easier to just toss diapers in a small garbage can. And I hate our high chair, but the one we got wasn't the one I picked out. I really should have taken it back. Leading me to my final thought: Do not be afraid to return an item if it doesn't suit your needs. Why did I care so much that my SIL (who I don't particularly get along with) bought the high chair so I didn't want to hurt her feelings (HA!) and exchange it?

T Moss asked: I am interested in purchasing some type of electronic thing like a MP3 player, Ipod, etc, but I know absolutely nothing about them. I would like to download music, I'm not really interested in playing videos, etc. What do you recommend. Thanks.

I must say, I LOVE my Zune, but it does not really fit your description of what you want. In the beginning it wasn't what I was looking at either and had it not been for QM & Daddy getting it for me for my birthday, I would probably have opted for a SanDisk Sansa Clip MP3 Player. They come in a variety of sizes 1 GB (250-500 songs) to 4 GB (1,000-2,000 songs) and a variety of colors. They're much cheaper than the tiny iPods and they don't have the video capabilities you don't want. I love that they have a screen so you can see what you're listening to & browse through your music. They're also very small & very portable.

So, that's all for today. Check me out tomorrow at Mom's Marbles. I'll be guest blogging...if I can think of anything to say!





OK, you can quit laughing now.

A visit from the royal family

Apparently I cannot give my kids Golden Crisp anymore. The Today show is telling me it's almost 50% sugar. Cripes. (Yes, I use the word "cripes" in my everyday speech.)

QM & Daddy came to visit for a few hours yesterday. Bitsy sucked up wonderfully to her Pa. She gave him kisses & demanded he hold her every time he moved. Incidentally, she never gives kisses anymore. B.B. pounded his Pa into the carpet during "beating time" leaving me to wonder if maybe Pa isn't getting too old to "beat" with his grand babies...shhh, don't tell him I said that. I think the issues isn't so much Pa's age as it is B.B.'s obsession with the UFC & his desire to actually punch people during "beating time."

Grammy was whisked off to B.B.'s room to see everything he owns while Bitsy climbed all over her & Oooo'd. Eventually Grammy was able to escape to the living room to visit while B.B. chattered incessantly, "Gwammy, we can do dis in da game."

Eventually, Pa decided to empty the half ton on change he had jingling in his pocket, so B.B. brought out everyone's bank, lined them up in the living room floor, and deposited "lots & lots of monies!" Bitsy sat in the floor by her bank & talked to her quarters happily for about 10 minutes before dropping then in the slot.

They had to hit the road before BabyGirl & #1 Son got home from school, but they'll be back this way Saturday.

Why we heart Belk's & QM's shopping abilities.

You may or may not know that the Queen Mother (all hail the Queen Mother) likes to shop. I wouldn't go so far as to call her a compulsive shopper. It's not really her main hobby. She's not a serious bargain/freebie hunter like my Aunt Silverbelle. But the woman can shop.

Last week she called wanting to know the sizes of all the FarmHands as well as myself. Belk's was having a sale. She & HT went shopping. Today we got a giant box from UPS that looked like HT had wrestled it to the floor so Mama could pack it.

Oh the clothes! Oh the clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes, clothes! And much to the FarmHands' chagrin, not all of it was for them. I now have to make room in my closet for my new wardrobe. Yeah me!

And one little HMR post about my new obsession with bracelets & my longing for Bakelite and this is what happens:

I am a happy girl today.

To be honest, I've accomplished little from my to-do list today. One load of dishes, two beds stripped, one dishwasher load run.... & now I have to add more laundry and cleaning out BabyGirl's drawers to incorporate her new wardrobe. But that's OK. She'll be the best dressed girl in second grade....if she gets dressed. And I have two little boys who are absolutely over the moon for their new swim trunks. I'm waiting for them to ask to wear them to town.

Almost as good as a cruise

The Queen Mother asked what I did on my "vacation." She must not have been paying close attention since I was at her house...but I'll recap just the same. ;)

Day One (Friday):

• Got up at 4 am & decided to leave since I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep.
• Picked her up.
• Drove 4 hours to get to the hospital where Daddy was waiting.
• Was told by the kind nurse that Bitsy really wasn't supposed to be in Daddy's room, but we could stay for a while...just not too long.
• Took QM & drove past houses the size of Wal-Mart & wondered why 4 people really needed 6,500 square feet to live in with their two tiny dogs.
• Ate at Logan's Roadhouse (yummy) with QM & Princess.
• Went home & unpacked in the rain.
• Visited with Art at work & met her uncle & cousin.
• Bought windshield wipers.
• Hung out at home with Princess, HT, Axl, QM, Daddy, and Bubba.

Day Two (Saturday):

• Laid around in my PJ's until Mrs.T called & said she was coming to see us.
• Watched Daddy give himself his first insulin injection at home & fight with his glucose meter.
• Went back to see Art at work with Daddy to pick up a rug she had for QM.
• Ate at Ruby Tuesdays (again...yummy) with QM & Daddy.
• Went to Wal-Mart to get Daddy supplies & begin the hunt for a medic alert bracelet.
• Went home & crashed for the afternoon.
• Helped Bubba & Princess wrestle the top of QM's canopy up on the back deck.
• Visited with Bubba, Princess, Axl, HT, QM, Daddy, Art, Syd, Lulu, and Mr.CA.
• Left the rapscallions with QM, took Art & Princess & went to see their houses.
• Came home & crashed again.

Day Three (Sunday):

• Woke up with Bitsy around 7 am.
• Ate turkey bacon for the first time.
• Put Bitsy down for a nap.
• Tried to watch Du Berry Was a Lady with QM, but we both fell asleep on the couches (while Daddy napped in his room & Bitsy in hers...gotta' love family nap time).
• Packed.
• Drove QM past the house Princess & Axl are moving into this weekend.
• Went to see Bubba's apartment.
• Looked for shirts for Grandpa M&M at Sears.
• At at Texas Roadhouse (yummy...more steak).
• Hunted for Medic alert bracelets some more.
• Drove home.

It was action packed & very exotic. I am glad I got to see Bubba, Princess, and Art's homes & Art's place of employment. It's comforting to have a setting to put them all in in my imagination. Oh, and I got Spider-Man kisses from my perfect nephew (his mom holds him upside down & he comes at you with his mouth wide open. It's adorable). Now if only I could convince my brother to hire a maid........

I do have one question for you. What do you call kisses at your house? Sometimes we just give kisses. Sometimes it's "smoochies." Sometimes it's "lovin's." HT gives "sugar." I'm wondering if there are anyother names for those open mouth, slobbery things babies give.