Intense Auburn

Yes, Ladies, it's that time again.  Time to slouch off the sweats, break out the skirts and lip gloss, and let the Hot Mama inside you shine!!

Ordinary Sarah and I were chatting on Facebook a few weeks back & I suggested we break out the defibrillator and give new life to the HMR.  This was a mostly selfish request because for the past few months (Winter is tough on a girl), I've let things slide.  The flat iron is rarely out of the drawer. My foundation has lasted months longer than normal.  I've almost forgotten how to apply eye liner.

This leads me to my HMR question of the week:  What do you do to spice up your look?  What makes you feel shiny and happy again?  When you've had enough of the day-to-day drab, what style fix to you immediately reach for?

Mine is hair dye.  Almost always.  I treat it like lip gloss.  If it's good, it makes me feel like a million bucks. If it's bad, it's only temporary.  I have been every color under the rainbow...red, auburn, brown, black, purple, and an unfortunate blue that turned green.  The only thing I haven't tried is true blond.

In desperate need of a pick-me-up last weekend, I hit the home hair dye aisle at our local Mega Mart.  I decided to go "Intense Auburn" thinking it would be reminiscent of all the times I tried to dye my hair red in college.  It always turned out sort of red with purple undertones.  Apparently they've changed the dye formulas in the past 15 years because "Auburn" wasn't the key word in this dye.  It was "Intense."

In fact, as soon as the towel came off my head, I hopped right back in the shower and shampooed my little heart out.  The Auburn I was so looking forward to had more of a Bozo the Clown tone to it at first.  But after a good shampoo and blow dry, it wasn't too bad.  In fact, 2 days & 2 more shampoos later, I'm really happy with  it.

Husband doesn't understand my need to experiment with color, but he's a boy.  What do they know?

Let's hear it.  What are your go-to look changers?

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Bring the Hot Mama Revolution to Twitter!  #HotMamaRevolution

Sweatin' to the Samba

I went to the doctor today to see about having some moles my back and shoulder looked at. Totally awesome, I know! I have to go back on the 28th to have them taken off. Nothing scary, nothing truly suspicious, just a precaution. No worries.

But while there, I had to hop on the scales in the hallway. Much to my surprise, I'm tipping them at 112 1/2 pounds. Wow. I mean, really...for me...Wow! As Art would say (and only Art & a few select others are allowed to say such things), I'm looking normal. I would like a bit of control over where this weight is living, but so far, no one's asked me where to direct the half pint of Ben & Jerry's I just ate.

In related news, I added something cute, summery, and slightly bigger to my wardrobe today:

Look familiar? Yeah, it's the same as the one below, only in Waterfall as opposed to Hibiscus. The last one Wal-Mart had in a medium. And again, only three dollars. Yeah me...again.

In an effort to push my new curves into the places I want them, I'm very seriously considering taking a Zumba class starting next week. To be completely honest, I'm terrified. I'm horribly out of shape. I'm horribly uncoordinated (as Bella Swan would say, "I'm so clumsy, I'm practically disabled"). I'm worried that I won't make it through a class without giving up, passing out, or vomiting. But I'm willing to give it a shot. The fact that there's a class in the little town where the kids go to school, is a really big deal. The fact that it's only $5 a class is even cooler. Having never taken an exercise class of any kind, I'm going to pull up my big girl yoga pants and get to it.

And in the mean time I'm going to dance around my living room, like the white girl that I am, to the sounds of Glee. Oh, how I love Glee.......sigh.

Hot Mama Revolution Summer Uniform

I have a secret. I've gained some weight. Around 12 pounds since September. It's an odd thing for someone who's non-pregnancy weight has hovered in the upper 90 pounds for the past, Idunno', 17 years or so. I'm now tipping the scales at a whopping 110 + pounds.

That means none of my shorts from last summer fit. In fact, when Princess was here 2 weekends ago, I sent a stack of pants home with her that we're passing back & forth depending on who they fit and when. I think I have 2 pairs of shorts I can currently get into & one of them has a bleach spot on them. It's sad.

But I have a few simple sun dresses & shirt dresses hiding in my closet. For some reason I had it stuck in my head that you only wear a dress if you're going out. When I was preggers with B.B., QM made me a few simple dresses that I moved into for the summer. Since then, I've been more likely to be found laying around the house in a dress the way most people would lounge about in shorts & a tank top. I may be taking a page out of BabyGirl's book. She's lived in one sundress every summer for the last 4 years (a different one each summer).

I've found my empire waist knit tank dresses are very forgiving in the areas I've gained weight (mainly my hips & waist)...and being basically t-shirt material, they can withstand tromping through the creek with the FarmHands. But put on some sparkly earrings, bangle bracelets, and cute shoes, and I'm ready to hit the town....as long as there's no mud on my back side.

This (although not a knit sundress) is my new favorite:

And I think I paid all of three dollars for it. Yeah me!

So, what are you wearing this summer?

One more time!

Yet another installment of FarmWife answering your most pressing questions. You are simply tingly with excitement, aren't you? You can tell me, I promise not to spread it around....much.

Ordinary Sarah says: I'm on the hunt for the perfect capris and sandals for this summer. Help me, FarmWife!!

Aren't we all, honey? Last summer I snagged a pair of wedge like brown flip-flops with really cushy soles & cannot wait for it to get warm enough for me to expose my toes. I found them at Wal-Mart. Really hoping they have the same ones out this year. I need a pair in black...and pink...and green....OK, enough of that. I think Sarah needs some pink, supergirly sandals/flip flops to celebrate the birth of her little pink bundle of squishy Sunshine (Seriously, pictures of her baby make me want to bury my face in baby neck folds).

As for capris, I'm really loving these right now. One thing I've noticed is that a flair at the bottom of a capri can make your legs look oddly bell shaped. Stick with a straight leg or a more fitted style...why would you need your capris to be boot cut anyway?

But if you want to look a bit classier, a bit less frazzled mom & a bit more hot mom on the go, I'd pick these. Super cute! I think Stacey & Clinton would approve.

Inkling, who asked me 7 questions, will finish out this post with a few. The first being: How is it that children can survive on small amounts of food, still sport those round tummies, and not feel the need to eat the food you laboriously prepared? How do they not simply waste away?

I'd love to know the answer to this one myself since B.B. has decided he currently hates everything except Go-gurt, Coco Puffs, and Pop Tarts. Somehow he channels this complete lack of nutrition into massive amounts of energy (sugar induced, possibly), a super fast learning curve, and an ability to bounce back from surgery with lightning fast speed.

I think it may relate to the fact that pregnant women can gestate fully formed babies while surviving solely on Mars bars, Coke, hot dogs, onion rings, and Salisbury steak TV dinners.

Next she asks: Why is it that I've suddenly found it nearly impossible to get out of my pajamas before 4 p.m.? Do you have this problem too, or am I just odd all by myself?

It may be genetic as I'm having the same problem. But if I'm truly honest, I rarely get out of my pajamas at all. Unless we're going outside to play, I rarely leave the house, so I figure why get dressed & add to the already overflowing pile of laundry my family generates? I do get dressed to go to town or if we're expecting company....but it's not unusual for me to strip off my PJ's, shower, and climb into a fresh pair. If Husband were the kind of man who noticed what a woman wears, or how she looks, things might be different. I sometimes wonder if he'd notice if I cooked dinner in a prom dress.

And finishing up for today: If you could participate in any Olympic winter sport, what would it be and why?

Keeping warm. That's an event, isn't it? I really don't do anything that involves snow or ice, so I think I'm pretty much out of the running for Olympic gold...but the curling team is more than welcome to come practice in my kitchen. I figure all that sweeping needs to be put to better use.

Anybody know a good tailor?

Since Bubba & Beck got married in September, I've put on a bit of weight.

This isn't really a bad thing considering I've hovered in the mid to upper ninety pound range most of my life. This is only the second, non-pregnant/breastfeeding time I've ever broken 100 pounds. Someday I may even weigh enough to give blood. My only issue is that all my extra weight lives in my hips & rear end. Princess is having similar issues. QM says we can thank Busha's family for that one.

This means none of my pants fit. It's hard to stick with the Hot Mama revolution when the only thing you can get into are flannel pajama pants & velour track suits.

So I've been perusing the clothing department at Wal-Mart recently. I really don't shop anywhere else. Shopping anywhere else would involve driving a distance of more than 15 miles & spending more than $8 on any one article of clothing. When you've been shopping for a family of 6 for 2 1/2 years on a single income, it's hard to purchase anything that isn't on clearance.

Jeans became a must have recently since I'm down to one pair I can button & still breath in. I picked up a pair (on sale)that fit nicely only to have the buttons come apart in the first wash. They went back.

My next shopping trip was not as easy. I spent 20 minutes looking for something, anything in my size. Apparently there had been a run on size 5 jeans not designed by Miley Cyrus (I did try on 1 pair of her skinny jeans in a size 5. I think Miss Cyrus needs a reality check because her size 5's fit more like a 2). Eventually I ended up with one pair of size 4's that were cut a bit fuller than their counterparts & fit nicely. Being on sale, they made me happy.

I learned something. To shop at Wal-Mart, you must either be 14 years old & obsessed with the bad fashion of 1984, or you must be 84 years old and need your pants to have elastic waistbands. If you wear plus sizes, the clothes are much classier....but you get odd stares when you weigh 108 pounds & you're admiring size 24 jeans.

I guess this means I'll have to not only shop somewhere outside my comfort zone but off the non-sale racks. What I wouldn't give for a Target within 30 miles of me!

These Boots are Made for Walkin'

Once upon a time, I was a Doc Martens kind of girl. In my defense, I grew up during the era of grunge rock. I wore my over sized jeans, funky t-shirts, and flannels. With my high school graduation money, I bought myself my first (and only) pair of Docs. They were my pride & joy. I dreamt of a day when some kid at school would taunt my children with, "Your mama wears combat boots," and my children would reply with, "And your point is?"

I rocked Chuck Taylor Converse All Stars with cow spots painted on one side & daisies painted on the other. I wore black Sketchers, canvas Chinese shoes, satin embroidered slippers, crochet flats, and many other odd items of foot ware.

Things have changed. Doc Martin has changed. Now, instead of coveting a pair of Ox Blood 16 hole combat boots, I covet these (Yup, they're Docs):

With a bit of age, some help from Stacy & Clinton, and influence from the Hot Mama Revolution, I've developed a new love for shoes. Girly shoes. Shoes with pointy toes. Shoes with heels. Shoes I wouldn't have touched with a 10 foot pole in high school. Shoes better adapted to an office or a run way than a cow pasture or mine field. Shoes like these:

QM sent these up for me last weekend. She called me a few weeks back & asked my shoe size & I promptly forgot about it. Daddy gave me a big bag when he met us for our trip to the Circus Saturday. Tucked inside (along with some super cute flannel pajamas & new hair bows for Bitsy) were these fabulous boots. I immediately tried one on. Husband immediately told me I couldn't wear them to the circus. He had visions of me tumbling down the concrete steps of the arena with one of our children in my arms due to a misstep.

I've worn them everywhere since. Church on Sunday. To the eye doctor & Wal-Mart with #1 Son, B.B., and Bitsy yesterday. To take the kids to school & go visit Busha & Bucka today. They were a hit at pre-k pick up this morning.

Someday my feet & back will hate me, but for now, I'm rockin' the heels. Maybe I'll do like Sarah & wear them to vacuum.

FarmWife in Red

Yesterday was a long day. A very long day.



At 7:30, B.B., Bitsy & I left home & drove 60 miles south so they could go to the dentist. B.B. has yet another cavity. Hurrah. Bitsy did pretty well for it being her first trip to the dentist. She came home with a fish tub toy, so she's happy.



We ate lunch at IHOP, then headed home....oh, that is after Bitsy bit into an ammonia capsule she dug out of the first aid kit in my purse while we were browsing Target's clearance racks. Ewwww.



Got home around one. Just in time to toss together some lunch for Husband to take to work, sit down for a few minutes, then load all 4 FarmHands up & head to the school for registration.



After registering the 3 oldest kids for school (B.B. for Pre-K), and having a few laughs with the principal & school secretary, we headed to Bucka & Busha's. Visited there for a few minutes, then I took all 4 FarmHands to Wal-Mart to pick up school supplies & groceries. 2 hours later, we hit the McDonald's drive-thru and headed back to the farm.



I was hesitant about making the trip on my own with all 4 kids, but Husband had to work again today & we were in serious need of milk....again. We also have a family reunion today & I wanted to have my ingredients on hand when I woke up this morning instead of rushing around all day like a mad woman. They were really very well behaved while we were out. I can't truly complain about it.

Today I am very glad I made the trip because my knee woke me up at 3 o'clock this morning. Once again it's swollen, red, painful, and hot to the touch. Makes me wonder if that orthopedic doctor that spent all of 10 seconds examining me knew what he was talking about. It's not as bad as it was last time, but still not really fun.

So, what does every slightly frazzled mom-on-the-go need to perk her up after such a day? Bright. Red. Lipstick. Of the Maybelline Color Sensation line. Red Revival to be exact.

Once upon a time, I wore bright lipstick. Often in the red family. Maybe this will truly be a Red Revival for me. Maybe I will be reminded of a time when I was just a girl...not a mom, not a wife, not an adult...just a girl with bright red lips.

A word on hand-me-downs

When QM brought BabyGirl home 2 weeks ago, she also brought a huge box of hand-me-downs from Princess for yours truly. You remember Princess, don't you? My fashionista baby sister who lives & breathes retail? I love her. Really I do. I'd love her even if she didn't send me new wardrobes with great regularity.

In the box were 2 pairs of jeans that looked like they'd never seen the light of day. Nice jeans. One pair are Guess Jeans, the others, I don't remember right now. There was also the bold print halter dress she wore to HT's first birthday party that I loved but never thought I could pull off (but happily can). There were some adorable capri jeans & a really cute green & white striped Henley. A fabulous navy blue Converse halter tankini, a Jem & the Holograms tank top, a dusty blue twin set, and some cute skirts rounded out the bunch. I was quaking with excitement as I dug through the treasures.

But I know something very certain about my sister & my self. We can both appreciate the same article of clothing, but we also have vastly different styles & tastes. Princess could pull off the low rise jeans & belly shirts while I was rockin' maternity wear for 6 years. For some reason, Princess decided to send me a few of the belly shirts in my giant box o' clothes. I'm pretty sure she just cleaned out her closet & sent me things she no longer needed....but I have to ask, what am I going to do with an orange tube top? Wear it around my waist? I'm not 14 & I'd look a bit ridiculous wearing a tube top with my bra straps sticking out the top....and a strapless simply will not cut it any longer...not after breast feeding 4 ravenous, little, squirmy things.

But by far, my favorite thing she sent me is a black t-shirt printed with large white letters that reads: I like your boyfriend (and he likes me, too). Yeah, I'm saving that one for Parent Teacher Conferences!

I dreamed I ________ in my Maidenform bra.

Considering the one I purchased today to wear with my bridesmaid dress in Bubba & Beck's wedding and the three Princess sent me today (she sent 4, but only 3 were Maidenform), I could be doing just about any & everything in them from here on out.

I'm rather excited because these are the first "cute" bras I've had in quite a while. There's really not much to choose from in the Nursing Bra department & that's been my main support for the past 8 years. So having some sexy, non-mama bras may spur on a new chapter in my Hot Mama Revolution. Who knows, maybe I'll even go out on a limb & buy something other than Hanes Her Way cotton panties.....stranger things have happened.

In non-undergarment news, QM & Daddy met me & the FarmHands at the mall in E'ffinbill today. They went on the great bra hunt with me (OK, so maybe not entirely non-undergarment news. Did you know you can't find run of the mill backless strapless bras anymore? Now they're all convertable....and I thought that was only cars. Gah), then headed to the bridal store for my fitting, then QM decided she had a hankering for Chuck E. Cheese pizza, much to the delight of her grandbabies.

After cleaning up the pizzas rather quickly & playing until they were ready to drop at the Mouse House, we headed back to the mall to ride the carousel with Pa (the only grown up in the group who can go in circles repeatedly). We ran down to Old Navy to hit up their $2 ribbed tank top table, but it was picked nearly clean. Nothing over 9-12 months left. Instead I found a super cute swim suit on sale for BabyGirl & snatched it up.

Came home & tossed the FarmHands in the pool to burn off the last remaining drops of energy they have left. Now they're bathed, waiting on dinner, and watching a Silly Symphonies DVD Grammy brought for them.

My plans for the night? A little Breaking Dawn, a little Freakin' Fabulous by Clinton Kelly, and a little Pride and Prejudice and Zombies....yeah, you read that right. I'll tell you about it later, if you ask nice.

We will now return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.

It has hit with a vengance. The after-company-blahs. Sunday I was kept hopping & busy most of the day with church, a family dinner, a few Blu-rays from Netflix, and a giant Carmel milkshake lovingly crafted by my darling husband.

Today? Meh. First off was the evil time change that leaves me feeling as though none of us has come close to enough sleep. Then was the back-to-school Monday morning madness that infects us once a week. Toss in skin that has reverted back to high school, enough laundry to fill every machine at the Sudsy-Dudsy, two full loads of dishes in the dish washer, and an exceptional amount of saw dust on my carpet, and it was all enough to make me spend the day facebooking, watching Wall-E repeatedly with the babies, napping in the recliner, and lounging about in my jammies until...oh...say, now. I have much to do & zero gumption. I truly believe there has never been a greater lack of gumption displayed in the Northern Hemisphere in the past 30 years.

I am missing Art & Did in a bad way. I'm wishing I could have stowed away in the back seat of Did's Toyota & spent the morning & early afternoon chatting with them & Ragged Around the Edges yesterday. I'm dreaming of a time when we can all get together again. I'm trying to decide if Did's hubby could be talked into moving up here when he starts his law practice. Add a healthy dollop of worry about Inkling's health & the surgery she is going to have today & I'm a hot mess.

I am officially homesick. Yes, yes, I know I am at home. I have finally come to terms with the fact that I, FarmWife, will spend the remainder of my years in a small ranch style house in the middle of no where. But home will always be where my Mama & Daddy are & that's where I want to be today.

I'm going to keep my chin up though. QM has adamantly, vemenantly, militantly declared she will be bringing HT (my nephew, Princess's son) to Busha's for Easter along with (and I quote) "Thirty dollars worth of chocolate & enough eggs to keep them busy all afternoon." I'm pretty sure she's bringing Princess & Daddy with her, but when I talked to her last week she didn't much care who else decided to hop in her HHR & make the trek. She & HT are coming if she has to lie, steal, cheat or kill. QM hasn't been up to see us since Thanksgiving, I haven't seen my nephew since last September, & we haven't been to Tennessee in far too long.

All I can say is, I need a little Easter, right this very minute.....maybe I'll just walk around in my new shoes for a bit & see if that helps.

(Pay no attention to the twig-like ankles sprouting from the super cute, four inch heels. They cannot be helped.)

We gonna' rock down to.....

My fabulous friend Mrs.X (yes, she pays me to say that) had this awesome Music Meme thing on her blog that goes by the year you graduated. Apparently she's even more fabulous than I thought since we not only graduated the same year, but she's also a bicentennial baby just like yours truly!

So, here's the deets:

A.) Go to musicoutfitters.com

B.) Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function and get the list of 100 most popular songs of that year.

C.) Bold the songs you like, strike through the ones you REALLY hate.

And because this blog is mine & I can do what I durn well please, I will add my own comments about the songs as I see fit, so there, pbth.

This is when I must admit to an unhealthy love of pop music. My true love was alternative rock and the like (think The Cure, Pearl Jam, The Pixies, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, They Might Be Giants, Tori Amos, Jane's Addiction, Pearl Jam, 10,000 Maniacs...Have I mentioned I love Pearl Jam?), but I could totally rock out to Ace of Base while hiding in my room with the curtains drawn. Sorry, y'all. I'm just being honest. Like you didn't already suspect that, what with my mild obsession with NKOTB.

So, without further ado, here are your top 100 songs from 1994:

1. The Sign, Ace Of Base

2. I Swear, All-4-One

3. I'll Make Love To You, Boyz II Men (This song makes me shudder. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years when a friend of mine told me he had something for me & would I meet him out at his buddy's car after play practice. As I was waiting for QM to come pick me up {yes, I was 18 with no driver's license} he held my hands, gazed deeply into my eyes, & sang this song to me while the friend who owned the car sang back up for him. It was massively uncomfortable for both me & the poor friend singing back up. When he was done singing I said thank you, walked away & never mentioned it to him again. Over the course of the summer he declared his undying love to most of my girl friends.)

4. The Power Of Love, Celine Dion

5. Hero, Mariah Carey

6. Stay (I Missed You), Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories

7. Breathe Again, Toni Braxton

8. All For Love, Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting

9. All That She Wants, Ace Of Base

10. Don't Turn Around, Ace Of Base (Told you I loved me some Ace of Base.)

11. Bump N' Grind, R. Kelly

12. Again, Janet Jackson

13. I'll Remember, Madonna

14. Whatta Man, Salt-N-Pepa

15. Wild Night, John Mellencamp and Me'shell Ndegeocello

16. Without You/Never Forget You, Mariah Carey

17. You Mean The World To Me, Toni Braxton

18. Can You Feel The Love Tonight, Elton John

19. The Most Beautiful Girl In The World, Prince Symbol

20. Fantastic Voyage, Coolio

21. Baby I Love Your Way, Big Mountain (Makes me want to watch Reality Bites over & over again with Art.)

22. Regulate, Warren G and Nate Dogg

23. If You Go, Jon Secada

24. Back and Forth, Aaliyah

25. Now And Forever, Richard Marx

26. When Can I See You, Babyface

27. Please Forgive Me, Bryan Adams

28. So Much In Love, All-4-One

29. Shoop, Salt-N-Pepa

30. Any Time, Any Place/And On And On, Janet Jackson

31. Shine, Collective Soul

32. Said I Loved You...But I Lied, Michael Bolton

33. Return To Innocence, Enigma (LOVE, LOVE, LOVED this song. Very yodelly & made me want to dance about with ribbons & long skirts.)

34. All I Wanna Do, Sheryl Crow (I remember the first time I ever heard this song. Nettie was a newly licensed driver & we were cruising out to her house in her little blue car. I fell in love with Sheryl Crow...but I thought the song was called Santa Monica Blvd)

35. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, Crash Test Dummies

36. Can We Talk, Tevin Campbell

37. Funkdafied, Da Brat

38. I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That), Meat Loaf (What exactly would he not do for love? This song drove me crazy!)

39. Gangsta Lean, Drs

40. Because The Night, 10,000 Maniacs

41. Cantaloop, US3

42. Whoomp! (There It Is), Tag Team (Grrrr....)

43. Come To My Window, Melissa Etheridge (I belted this out in my dorm room on a regular basis...much to the chagrin of my conservative Christian college roommate.)

44. Stroke You Up, Changing Faces

45. I'm Ready, Tevin Campbell

46. 100% Pure Love, Crystal Waters

47. Anytime You Need A Friend, Mariah Carey

48. Because Of Love, Janet Jackson

49. Linger, Cranberries (Nettie introduced me to this one too. She has great taste in music.)

50. Loser, Beck ("Drive by body pierce!")

51. Found Out About You, Gin Blossoms

52. Gin And Juice, Snoop Doggy Dogg

53. Never Lie, Immature

54. Streets Of Philadelphia, Bruce Springsteen (I know this may put me on the list of Communists hiding out in the corn fields of Illinois, but I do not like The Boss. At all.)

55. Getto Jam, Domino

56. Endless Love, Luther Vandross and Mariah Carey

57. I Miss You w/ Aaron Hall

58. Understanding, Xscape

59. This D.J., Warren G

60. Cry For You, Jodeci

61. Keep Ya Head Up, 2Pac

62. Who Am I (What's My Name?), Snoop Doggy Dogg

63. Another Night, Real McCoy

64. Your Body's Callin', R. Kelly

65. Tootsee Roll, 69 Boyz

66. I Can See Clearly Now, Jimmy Cliff (OK, I have a love hate relationship with this song. Again, makes me want to watch Reality Bites...but I had a friend in my first period choir class who felt the need to sing this to me every. stinking. morning. I can't help but sing along, but deep down inside, there's a 17 year old dying to strangle some tall brunette boy.)

67. Never Keeping Secrets, Babyface

68. Crazy, Aerosmith (I didn't realize until recently that I have a HUGE thing for Aerosmith. Odd. I never thought I liked them. I can't stand to watch Steven Tyler sing....)

69. Just Kickin' It, Xscape

70. At Your Best (You Are Love), Aaliyah

71. Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through, Meat Loaf (My issues with Meat Loaf are deep seeded.)

72 Amazing, Aerosmith

73. Always, Erasure (I don't remember this song at all...well, not from the title anyway. But I LOVED their song Stars. Nettie's brother Squeggie introduced me to them.)

74. Groove Thang, Zhane

75. Dreams, Gabrielle

76. Mr. Vain, Culture Beat

77. Mary Jane's Last Dance, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers

78. Anything, SWV

79. Beautiful In My Eyes, Joshua Kadison

80. Stay, Eternal

81. Flava In Ya Ear, Craig Mack

82. U.N.I.T.Y., Queen Latifah

83. Prayer For The Dying, Seal

84. Secret, Madonna

85. Here Comes The Hotstepper, Ini Kamoze

86. Everyday, Phil Collins

87. Don't Take The Girl, Tim McGraw (The first time I heard this song I bawled like a baby. I was riding home with my boyfriend & his family in their overcrowded station wagon. They were all chatting loudly & I was zoned out, listening to the radio {still not sure why they were listening to country}. I started crying & they all thought I'd lost my mind. I still cry when I hear it.)

88. Got Me Waiting, Heavy D and The Boyz

89. December 1963 (Oh, What A Night), Four Seasons (This song. OH, it's like fingernails on a chalk board. And the girls I worked with when I was preggers with BabyGirl knew it. They would sing it loudly when ever they were near me & I had no means of escape. Evil.)

90. Indian Outlaw, Tim McGraw

91. Always, Bon Jovi

92. I'm The Only One, Melissa Etheridge

93. Back In The Day, Ahmad

94. Love Sneakin' Up On You, Bonnie Raitt

95. I'll Take You There, General Public

96. Always In My Heart, Tevin Campbell

97. What Is Love, Haddaway

98. And Our Feelings, Babyface

99. Bop Gun (One Nation), Ice Cube

100. I Wanna Be Down, Brandy



Ahhh...now I must plug in my Zune & listen to Eddie Vedder sing Jeremy.

In case you're still interested in my coat issues, I will not be disposing of my school jackets or the leather jacket. I was considering selling the leather on eBay, but Husband thinks I should keep it for #1 Son should he ever want to be a greaser. If so, I will stop referring to him as #1 Son and begin referring to him as Ponyboy. The Carhart has to be kept so I have something to wear when I have to help Husband outside & don't want to ruin my cute coats. Everything else can go to the Salvation Army or Goodwill.

The new coat will be purchased in part with my Target gift card from the Hot Mama Revolution $25 shopping spree challenge. See, now don't you wish you'd have entered?

Now I'm off to try to find an oral surgeon that will take our insurance so I can get these stinking wisdom teeth cut out. I was up in the middle of the night with a horrible toothache & ended up taking pain killers left from my c-section because the Motrin didn't touch it. Grrrr.

No, wait, there's more!

A continuation of the pictorial essay below entitled "Why I need a new coat."

I am no longer in the high school marching band flag corp (name blocked out to protect the innocent):

I am no longer a student at NRMS:

And yes, Art has a good point (see the comments in my last post). I do have some lovely coats. Including a beautiful ivory coat QM & Daddy bought me for Christmas when I was pregnant with Bitsy and a navy blue & forest green dress coat I've had since college....BUT, I do not have a cute casual coat. One to throw on to get the kids from school or run to the grocery. An every day coat. Besides, the fabulous ivory coat Art's harassing me about is a spring/fall weight coat & not suitable for truly cold weather. So there. Pbth. I still need a new coat.

Pictures by B.B. Hence the blurriness. Hey, he's only four. Give him a break!

Come to think of it, almost all of my coats are hand-me-downs. The school coats were bought for me (one when I was 11...and yes, it still fits....and the other when I was 15) and the leather jacket was bought for me. In my defence the biker jacket was bought during my grunge phase when I wore everything about 3 sizes too big.

Why I need a new coat: a pictorial essay by FarmWife

I am not perpetually pregnant any more (hence no need for the purple swing coat that's not really heavy enough for winter anyway):

I am not Norma Desmond (yes, that's a fake fur coat. It was my great aunt's & it's beginning to fall apart...and don't even get me started on the static issues):

I am not 75 years old (again, a coat formerly belonging to my great aunt):

I do not really farm for a living (this was Husband's coat when he was in high school):



I do not ride a Harley Davidson (as much as I'd like to. This coat hearkens back to a completely different & not exactly bright & shining time in my life):

That's why I need this:

Don't you agree?


Pictures courtesy of BabyGirl.

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody.

When I was younger,
so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Specifically, I need somebody who understands my hair & can properly cut & style it & teach me to do the same.

Once upon a time my hair was long & straight & loverly. Wash & wear was the way of my world. I often complained that my hair had no body. That it was flat & lifeless. I was stupid. My hair was fabulous & flowing & so much more luxurious that even Fabio's. And then I had babies. Lots & lots of babies. And those babies did evil things to my mane. And I cut it all off.

Ok, Ok, so you all were here & you remember how it went. My hair was long. Bitsy was little. My hair was falling out in handfuls. I was tired. I never had a chance to shower. My head hurt constantly from all the weight hanging from the back of my head. I asked you all for advice. I put up a poll. I weighed the possibilities. Then I made an informed decision & chopped the mess off...all 16 inches of it...and mailed it off to benefit a woman with cancer. I'm still happy with my decision. I am not happy with the current state of my hair.

I haven't even had a trim since that fateful Halloween last year. And to top it all off, the wave came & never left. Yes, I embraced it, but I'm still unsure what to do with it. And have I mentioned my stylist, whom I loved & had only seen twice after having no real stylist for 4 years, closed her shop? CRAP!

My biggest issue at the moment is the lack of wave in the front of my hair. The back & sides are decently wavy, but the front is still stick straight. I either have to pin it up or tuck it under the waves to hide it. The front is also too long at the moment. It needs to be seriously layered. The cut was cute short, but needs help now that it's grown out so much.

I have no idea what to do or where to start. I have no stylist. I'm in desperate need of a cut. I'm trying to let it grow back out to help tame the wave, but it needs something done now. I've even considered the "P" word. Yup, you read that right. A perm. Shhhh...don't let that get out. A body perm possibly. I just don't know what to do.

HELP!

I'm SO in!

Our fearless HMR leader Sarah has posed a challenge to us this week. She wants to know what we can do with $25. Can you get a super cute new hair do? A mani-pedi makeover? A new pair of shoes to put some spring in your step? Or can you go all out & throw together a new outfit armed only with 25 green backs?
Because she knows times are tough, she said we don't have to really spend the money, just take a few pictures or pull something together from the web & show her what you've got. The prize: a ...you guessed it....$25 gift card from Target (my favorite place in the whole wide world!!)!

So my thoughts wandered to Target. We had one near us when we lived in town. I was there bi weekly at least. I miss it. Honestly, seriously, no kidding, I cried when they closed it. And what a better way to show how I'd spend the $25, than to put my look together from Target.

So I hit up their clearance page on the web site. Can I just say it was a treasure trove of cheap lovelies?! My first find was this $3.24 baby doll top. I love almost any update of the plain white T. And this one is C-U-T-E.

Pair it with some dark blue plaid Bermuda shorts for $4.49, and I'm a happy girl.

But the look isn't finished & I still have virtual money burning a virtual hole in my virtual pocket.

These are my favorite finds of all...





A blue woven tote for $8.74. It's not a diaper bag!! I love it...and it will go nicely with the shorts.



I will finish it all off with these rockin' red shoes from Issac Mizrahi. How can any woman wearing bright red shoes not feel sexy? Answer me that! They give the whole look that added pop! And the best part? They're only $7.49!




I think even Stacy & Clinton would be proud of me...even if my entire outfit doesn't cost as much as one of Stacy's bracelets.

I'm a Clean & Clear kind of gal

It's that time again, Ladies. Hot Mama question of the week. Today Sarah asks, "What skin care products do you swear by? Are you a bank account draining, designer name, department store kind of girl? Or do you make your own sugar and olive oil scrubs at home? Do you remain true to one brand or are you more of "whatever is on sale" kinda gal? "

Oh boy, does this open a can of worms. When I was about 16 I developed Cystic Acne. Fun, right? Yeah, not so much. It was painful & embarrassing & really did a number on my self esteem. QM took me to a dermatologist who put me on Retinol (did no good) and a sulfameth antibiotic,Bactrim I believe (did little good). We tried nearly everything. Nothing worked. Accutane wasn't something I wanted to try, so I dealt with it.

With pregnancy, oddly my skin cleared up a good deal. Now it comes & goes as my hormones swing from one extreme to the next. I'm holding out hope that once Bitsy is weaned it will settle down, but I fear the term "Adult Acne" is one I'll live with most of my life. But even now, at it's PMS worst, my acne gets no where near as bad as it was 15 years ago.

I keep different types of Clean & Clear around most of the time. It works just as well as some of the expensive stuff I've tried. My current fav is their Oxegenating facial scrub, but I'm also a fan of the Morning Burst line. For those really bad days, I bust out the Persa-Gel 10. But even at that, a few times a week I mix a teaspoon or two of baking soda in with my face scrub to get it all well exfoliated. Good stuff that baking soda.

So, what's next to your sink?

Plastic is girl's best friend!

You may currently be asking yourself, "What has FarmWife been up to lately? She didn't post for an entire two days! Has yet another tragedy befallen her family? Did she run off & join the circus? Did her children finally win the war & have her committed to the Shadybrook Home for the Criminally Insane?" No, dear readers. I just had little to say. Gasp!

I've been playing with WordPress quite a bit & can assure you that Memoirs will be staying here. I like WordPress, but I think Blogger fits my needs for this blog much better....and I don't have the time to learn how to do this all differently.

Being Monday, it's time again for the Hot Mama Revolution Question of the week. This week, Sarah wants to know what we add to our uniform to jazz it up a bit. She's got groovy necklaces to give her some sparkle. I've become a bit of a bracelet junkie. My current go-to's are this and this (I've tried to post the pictures here, but things aren't cooperating today). The bigger & chunkier the better. I do have tiny skinny dainty little bracelets, but I tend to layer them until they resemble a big chunky mess. Since it's summer, I like more sparkle or lighter colors, but in the winter I rock a big, wide, gold, plastic, bangle thingy QM gave me. I'd give my eye teeth for some vintage Bakelite, Lucite, or Celluloid bangles! Too bad I have to feed my children......

All right folks, it's that time again. Ask FarmWife...and Kork, I promise to get back to your question from last week. Sorry, with all the excitement, I forgot to answer it then.

Uniformity

Our fearless hot mama leader Sarah has asked us to post pictures of our "HMR Uniform." What would you see me in if you happened to run into me at McDonalds or the grocery or playing at the park with the FarmHands (besides a straight jacket)?

While I'd love to say I'd be in a cute skirt & top & a very fashionable pair of open toed pumps, In all actuality, I'd probably be in something like this:

Fabulous isn't it? Ease, comfort, washability, and frugality are high on my list of reasons to pick clothing, so the tank top & jeans are standard around here. These jeans were passed down to me by Princess (my little sister), and the tank I grabbed at Wal-Mart for $4.50 a few weeks back. I'm a sucker for stripes, so I loved this one right off. What you can't really see in this picture is the super cute western style belt QM bought me when I weaned B.B.

Add a necklace, bracelet, and earrings (oddly enough, every item of jewelry I'm wearing in this picture with the exception of my rings was a gift from my mother) and I'm good to go.

I feel pretty good in this. Not sure what it is about it, but I like it. Maybe it's because for the first time in my life I have jeans that are not baggy. And the pink makes me feel girly without going overboard.

Still working on growing the hair out a bit to help tame the wave, but it's getting there. I'm also currently sporting a french manicure....which my husband so rudely interrupted with his kidney stone Friday night. Nails might not be a big deal to you, but since I bit them from the time I was tiny until around my 21st birthday, I get a tad obsessive over them.

So, who are you wearing?

Embracing the wave

A few days back, our Hot Mama guru Sarah asked us for our favorite products. She's giving away a two pack of Softlips (fabulous stuff!!) and initially asked for a post & a link to enter the drawing. Now all you have to do is go comment on her post. It's worth it. Good stuff that Softlips.

At the moment, I have a few favs. First & foremost is my Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream. During my pregnancies, my skin does odd things. Early in the game it gets mondo greasy & I have a major blemish fight on my hands. By the end of the 9 months my skin is so dry I could do finish sanding with it. But many lotions & soaps make my neck break out in an odd rash even if I'm not using the product on my neck.

A few months ago I bought a little tube of this lotion & I love it. It's lasted MUCH longer than I imagined because a little goes a long way. I can use it on my neck without fear of odd bumps, and if the rest of me needs it, it's an all purpose kind of moisturizer (it's actually not labeled as a facial moisturizer at all). It can be a tad on the heavy side, so I mainly use it at night & then a lighter lotion during the day.

Secondly there's my Cherry Carmex. Don't leave home without it...not even to go walking. And try to keep it put up high because B.B. has some kind of odd lip balm fetish. He can wreck a brand new tube in under 30 seconds.

Last, but certainly not least, is my new best friend. Pantene Texturize! Moussing Foam Wax. After chopping the length off my hair last fall, I discovered I could no longer live in denial any more. After 4 pregnancies, my hair had changed. It's always been fine, thick, and straight. No longer. It's still thick, but the fine part is beginning to fade, and the straight part is a thing of the past.

For months I've battled the wave that's taken up residence on the back of my head (seriously, why only the back of my head?). Smoothing creams, the blow dryer, and my flat iron have been my constant companions. When too busy or lazy to tame the tangle, my hair would grow to rather surprising heights & flail about as it saw fit. It was not attractive. And looked oddly like my MIL's hair...never really a good thing no matter how nice your MIL's hair is. It brings up all kinds of Oedipul issues. Eww.

A few weeks ago, I decided to break this stuff back out. I bought it when my hair was clear down my back, but realized it was too difficult to deal with in those vast amounts (at least for me). This time I waxed up while my hair was still wet & dried it with a diffuser attachment. And Voila:

Embracing the wave! It keeps it some what tamed while still allowing the wave to shine through. And it takes a fraction of the time it takes to blow it out & flat iron it.

This is why I heart Pantene Texturize! Moussing Foam Wax. Besides, how can you not love a product with an exclamation point in the middle of it's name?

Ease on Down the Gravel Road

I've inadvertently dropped off the revolution train...my hair grew out long enough to put up in a pony tail. My nails are short & stubby. Polish has not touched my toes in months. I've been living in old oversized sweats & 20 year old t-shirts. My skin....lets just say it decided to take a short jaunt back to high school. Things have not been pretty. I have not been pretty.

I'm attempting to slowly but surely get back in my groove. I've dug out the hair styling tools, wishfully make-uped, moved on to a new uniform (a super cute track suit), painted my toes, & worked on my public appearance. I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm also not as grimy & frumpy as I was this time last month.

I have another confession to make while I'm at it. I am horribly out of shape. HORRIBLY. You'd never know it to look at me. I am blessed with a hyper-metabolism. After 4 kids & no dieting whatsoever, I weigh a whopping 100 pounds. So most folks think I'm in great shape (when they aren't worrying that I'm secretly anorexic).

Truth is, I can't jog to my mail box without wearing myself out. When we got the mini-trampoline for BabyGirl's sensory diet, she and I would have jumping contests. They were really a way for me to get her to jump when she didn't want to. I found out very quickly, I cannot bounce very long at all. It's pitiful. BabyGirl bounced for 9 minutes one day. I cannot finish 2 full minutes.

I need to do something. Drastic I'm afraid. Art has taken a vow to get in shape so she can continue her career as a Star Search Dancer. Inkling is running. Ang is exercising daily...sometimes two times a day in an amazing effort to get in shape. UK Sara has been preparing for a marathon (really...a MARATHON!!). Mom Chronicles Sarah works out with regularity, as does Emily. My friend Miss Audie just ran a 5K in Chi-town. Ragged has been known to tango with a treadmill. And all the while, I've sat on the couch watching America's Next Top Model & eating the kids Easter candy. Ugh.

So today, this sorely out of shape FarmWife pulled up her big girl sweats, grabbed her 10 year old portable CD player, popped in The Across the Universe Soundtrack, and walked an entire mile in 45 degree sun shine. And you know what? I feel pretty good. The first half mile seemed about 3 miles long. I felt the burn (shut up, please. I already admitted to being out of shape...plus I was walking into a pretty decent wind & walking in gravel). The walk home was a little easier. Possibly a little faster. Definitely a tad more entertaining....at least for the mail man.

You see, our road is a long gravel road. I walked the path less traveled (headed East for those of you familiar) and therefore was a tad less encumbered by the restraints of polite society. In other words, I danced a bit as I walked 'cause there was no one around. Really, who can listen to Eddie Izzard sing "For the Benefit of Mr.Kite" without shaking it up a bit? Although truth be told, I probably looked more like Topol dancing to "If I Were a Rich Man" than a Solid Gold Dancer.

I had no more than finished my brief jaunt into the world of free form interpretive dance, than the mail man buzzed passed me in his heap of a car. I have no idea how far behind me he was when I was dancing, and no way of knowing if he saw me flailing, but I've decided not to care. I've decided that if I ever get to the point where I can run, truly run, for exercise, I shall run like Phoebe from Friends. Phoebs ran with total abandon. It looked fun. I want to do that.

So I learned a few lessons today. #1. I can do this. I can exercise. It will not kill me. I will feel good afterwards. #2. I can make a fool of myself while exercising & it also will not kill me. #3. Fresh air & sun shine make it all much easier to deal with. #4. I need an MP3 player. Really, the giant CD player slapping my hip as I walk is not comfortable...and I cannot sing "Dear Prudence" unaccompanied.