Exorcism of sorts

I have a hard time letting go of things. Especially when they are in any way traumatic. The incident I mentioned yesterday is one of those things, and I'm hoping blogging about it will help me stop dwelling on it. Nothing serious happened, but it was just enough to put me on edge for hours afterwards.

We were in a small town near the half way mark of our trip home last night when #1 Son decided he was on the verge of dehydration (forget that he'd just finished a juice box & drank all his milk for the trip already). Husband wanted to get gas since it was 10-12 cents cheaper there than here, so we pulled into a Casey's gas station. I marched the three older FarmHands in to use the bathroom & get 2 bottles of water for them to share.

When we got to the bathroom, the attendant was almost done cleaning it, so we waited around the back of the store until she was done. I told the kids exactly what was going to happen (they need specifics sometimes). "We're going potty...everyone get the job completely done because we aren't stopping again until we're home. Then I'm going to buy 2 bottles of water. In the van I'm going to put half a bottle of water in Daddy's empty cup from McDonald's & #1 Son gets that(he'd already eaten all the ice out of his dad's cup, so I figured he should be the one to drink out of it). B.B. gets the rest of that bottle & BabyGirl gets a bottle." Then #1 Son says he wants some more ice in his cup. I told him no, just water, we didn't have any ice. He starts eyeing the 10 pound bags of ice in the freezer by us. "We could get one of those!" I explain that it would melt & I don't want 10 pounds of water in my van floor. The boys start trying to figure out a way to get the giant bag of ice the rest of the 2 hours home.

While we were waiting I noticed a man lingering by the Lotto machine a few feet from us. He looked to be in his late 50's or early 60's, was not what I would call well groomed, and was carrying a black cane. I knew he was listening (it's hard not to in a store that small & kids as young as mine) but didn't think much of it. I'm used to people listening to us. We're not a quiet bunch.

One of the boys went to the freezer & I was afraid he was going to open it, so I brought him back to stand by me & said, "We are not getting ice." The man turned & said, "Come here." I started to ignore him because I wasn't 100% sure who he was talking to & to be honest, he made me a bit uncomfortable (he reminded me of someone I have issues with). He said it again & I said, "Me?" He said yes & I took a small step in his direction (he wasn't far from me). My kids followed me instinctively & the man looked at them & said, "Not you. Get back." They got nervous & all stepped even closer to me. I put my hand out to gently direct them behind me & nodded for them to stay back but still keep close. They were watching him very intently & he said again, "Not you. Just your Mama. Now get back." This really freaked #1 Son out & he tried to walk up & get a hold of me. When he did, the man raised his cane to push #1 Son back.

That was it. My head snapped around to face him & I said, "Um. Do NOT poke my children with your cane. What do you want?" He looked taken back by my reaction & said, "Oh, I wasn't gonna' poke them," and I kept staring him down. He finally told me something about getting a cup with ice in it for a quarter & I said, "OK. I'll check that later." Then I stepped away & pulled all three of the kids close to me.

Just then the attendant came out & let us in the bathroom. I had been thinking I'd let the boys go in one & BabyGirl in the other while I waited in the middle (they were both single toilet bathrooms, so no one would be in with them), but after that I wasn't about to let anyone out of my sight. When we came out, he was gone. I got our water & paid for the gas & headed out the door.

As we started across the parking lot I saw him talking to a couple filling up their car just behind our van. I ushered the kids quickly into the van keeping myself between him & them & keeping them close together. When we got the doors shut, I locked them quickly to Husband's surprise (our van locks when you put it in gear). As we pulled out of the station I told him what happened. Husband didn't seem phased by it. I, on the other hand, was a bit sick at my stomach most of the trip home.

I kept replaying the incident in my mind & I really believe he meant no harm. He was trying to help me out....but he went about it entirely the wrong way & instead made me angry & scared.

The boys were completely unfazed by the entire thing. They barely remember it happening. B.B. said, "He was a stranger, so I didn't talk to him." BabyGirl said she was scared that he was going to kidnap them. I told her that I would never let anyone take them away from me & she said, "I was afraid he was going to kidnap you too!" I assured her that her daddy was right out side & no one was getting past him. She seems happy with that promise.

I've always wondered how well I would deal with someone doing something to my kids that I was not comfortable with (especially a stranger, I've had to deal with issues with Husband's sister's attempts to discipline them against my wishes, but that's another very long story) and I've always feared I'd succumb to panic & be useless. I tend to panic in emergencies, just ask the Queen Mother about me & the fire alarm at the museum when I was 11. Yesterday I was proud of myself. Part of me wishes I would have told him immediately not to tell my children what to do, but in the end the Mama Bear in me (as Inkling would call it) came out. While no teeth were used, I'm pretty sure they were shown just enough.