Intense Auburn

Yes, Ladies, it's that time again.  Time to slouch off the sweats, break out the skirts and lip gloss, and let the Hot Mama inside you shine!!

Ordinary Sarah and I were chatting on Facebook a few weeks back & I suggested we break out the defibrillator and give new life to the HMR.  This was a mostly selfish request because for the past few months (Winter is tough on a girl), I've let things slide.  The flat iron is rarely out of the drawer. My foundation has lasted months longer than normal.  I've almost forgotten how to apply eye liner.

This leads me to my HMR question of the week:  What do you do to spice up your look?  What makes you feel shiny and happy again?  When you've had enough of the day-to-day drab, what style fix to you immediately reach for?

Mine is hair dye.  Almost always.  I treat it like lip gloss.  If it's good, it makes me feel like a million bucks. If it's bad, it's only temporary.  I have been every color under the rainbow...red, auburn, brown, black, purple, and an unfortunate blue that turned green.  The only thing I haven't tried is true blond.

In desperate need of a pick-me-up last weekend, I hit the home hair dye aisle at our local Mega Mart.  I decided to go "Intense Auburn" thinking it would be reminiscent of all the times I tried to dye my hair red in college.  It always turned out sort of red with purple undertones.  Apparently they've changed the dye formulas in the past 15 years because "Auburn" wasn't the key word in this dye.  It was "Intense."

In fact, as soon as the towel came off my head, I hopped right back in the shower and shampooed my little heart out.  The Auburn I was so looking forward to had more of a Bozo the Clown tone to it at first.  But after a good shampoo and blow dry, it wasn't too bad.  In fact, 2 days & 2 more shampoos later, I'm really happy with  it.

Husband doesn't understand my need to experiment with color, but he's a boy.  What do they know?

Let's hear it.  What are your go-to look changers?

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Lord, give me patience because if you give me strength I just might beat someone to death.

That's how the past week has been for me.  I've been at my whit's end.  I told Princess I didn't think I had a rope left to be at the end of.  But I'm much better now.

It's amazing what a few decent nights of sleep will do for a girl.  Bitsy, for some unknown reason, started sleeping through the night in her own bed.  Until now (at 4 1/2 years old) she would still wake up once in the night & try to get in bed with me.  This week it seems to have stopped.  I'm not holding my breath because we've been through this a few times before, but I'm really hoping it's a permanent change.

QM is here for a visit.  She brought HT's toddler bed up for Bitsy.  The bed Bitsy's been sleeping in has been passed down through all 3 of the older FarmHands so it's seen better days.  Much better days.  HT moved up into a big boy bed because, as he told me, he's now grown up (at the ripe age of 5).  I'm hoping this new, red, Lightning McQueen bed will help Bitsy stick with her new found ability to sleep soundly.

In other news, I have discovered I'm not a huge fan of online shopping.  If I purchase something I want it in hand now.  I've ordered a new camera & a USB modem for the new lap top & I've spent all week stalking my orders on line.  One item was in Indiana 2 days ago- about 1 1/2 hours drive from my house.  The next day it was in southern Kentucky, 3 hours away.  QM could have picked it up on her way here.  Grrrr.  When I asked about it at Walmart today they told me it would be here, "later today or tomorrow."  I'm trying not to pull my hair out.

Speaking of hair (nice segue, huh?) I got it cut today.  Unfortunately the girl who's been cutting my hair for the last year wasn't at the salon today.  I use the term 'salon' loosely as I get my hair cut at Walmart (what can't you do at Walmart?).  It's not that it's a bad place, it's just that the turn over rate is insane.  Just when I find a stylist I like, she's gone.  I have GOT to find a beauty shop I like & can stick with for more than 2 months.  My last one shut down her shop to go work at a bank....3 years ago.  I fear it's a losing battle.

Where do I lodge my official complaint?

It's April. April is supposed to be rainy, but warm. The flowers bud. The green things come to life. Spring is in full bloom.

But not today. No, today it is snowing. SNOWING!!! I don't live in Canada. I don't live in Michigan (sorry, Sarah). I don't live in Colorado (sorry, Kork). I live in Southern Illinois. It is not supposed to snow in Southern Illinois in April. Especially not all stinking day long! The ground isn't cold enough for it to stick, thank goodness, but it's been coming down all day. Ick.

It had better warm up before Thursday because Daddy & the Queen Mother are coming to visit...and then Princess, Axl, and H.T. If it's not at least 60, Axl may never ever come back. As it stands he'll wear flannel lined jeans & a stocking cap all weekend even if it is 60.

I'm brewing a pot of coffee because I cannot get warm. Ugh.

Today Husband, the babies, and I went to town to get pig feed (we're getting a pig on Wednesday to raise to butcher) & so I could get a hair cut. I wanted to pick up New Moon too but Wal-Mart was out of everything except three hard back copies of Twilight. Good grief. NM's girlfriend said she's loan me her copy of New Moon, but I was being impatient. Now I have to wait. Oh well. Life will go on even if I don't know what's happening in Forks.

Tabitha, can you come take over?

OK, I'll admit to watching WAY too much TV. One show in particular has captured my attention lately. Tabitha's Salon Takeover on Bravo. Tabitha Coffey from season one of Shear Genius goes in & revamps flailing salons. She straightens out the management, cleans the place up, lights a fire under the back sides of lackadaisical stylists, and totally re-vamps the salon all in the hopes that the owners can keep their heads above water. I LOVE this show. I love Tabitha.

But (you knew there'd be a "but" didn't you) my obsession with Tabitha & her perfectionist tendencies may have a detrimental effect on my finding a salon I truly like & a stylist who's perfect for me. Tabitha does not handle poor customer service well. She demands her salons be immaculate. She does not stand for any kind of nonsense. That's probably why they can charge at least $35 to $50 for a shampoo, cut, and style at the salons she's taking over.

I live in a much different world apparently. I paid $22 for my wash, cut & style...including tip. There was only one stylist there. No receptionist. I had a 9:30 appointment. Got there at 9:27 only to have the single stylist (who was sitting at the reception desk collecting money from a client) say nothing to me at all and then usher a 5 year old boy back to have his hair cut.

I was a bit put off, but figured maybe she was just behind. I sat in the minuscule waiting area in a little chair that was touching the chair next to me occupied by a teenage girl. There were only 4 chairs available & all were practically on top of each other. The girl next to me spent the next 15 minutes looking over my shoulder at the hair mags I was flipping through.

When the family was done & I was ushered in for my cut, the stylist took the blow dryer & blew the hair off the chair so I could sit down. I should note that the hair on the floor (from the 5 year old) was left where it was, so I put my bag up on the counter.

She asked me what I wanted done & I explained my predicament to her. Then I showed her the adorable picture of Julia Stiles with shoulder length wavy hair. She said that would work & she draped the cape over my shoulders. That's when I suggested she wash my hair first as it still had product in it from last night (I did schedule a shampoo, cut & style). After she cut it, she asked if I wanted it dried & styled...uh, again, I scheduled it that way.

The cut is good (no mullets or odd colors regardless of my dream, although I look nothing like the picture above...I guess I could get if I wanted to spend hours with a curling wand & blow dryer), the finished product is cute, Husband likes it (he never has an opinion about my hair unless it's completely contrary to what I'm going for), the stylist was really very nice if a bit flaky. So, what to do? Go back a second time & hope customer service is a bit better and the place is cleaner? Or do I keep hunting? It's not like I get to the salon often. I could just keep salon hopping. Little BIL told me his best friend's mom has her own salon in her home, but she smokes in the house & that's a deal breaker for me. I cannot see going to have my hair done & coming out smelling like an ash tray. This is so frustrating. Maybe I'll just take Husband's clippers & shave it all off......

High Anxiety

The first pup out of the current litter sold yesterday. One more should be going tonight. Four left.

I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow by a total stranger. Not really unusual for me as my stylist quit or we move or I just don't like them anymore. In reality, I'm excited.

Early this morning I had a rather disturbing dream. I showed up at the salon to discover it was a dark, Gothic/punk style place full of heavily tattooed & pierced people. Everyone there had multiple colors of hair & odd, asymmetrical hair styles or huge Mohawks. All the clients were raving over the stylists & the stylists were inordinately proud of their work. I was terrified.

Then a gentleman began discussing my options for a style. I don't think he worked there, but for some reason, he had a lot of influence. He also had 1980's Hair band hair with bleached bangs. He suggested I go with a similar look. I tried to explain to him that bangs & I do not get along well, but he seemed confused. When I turned to look in the mirror I discovered I too had 1980's big hair that bordered on a mullet complete with mile high mall bangs. It was horrible.

I awoke in a cold sweat, screaming, tears running down my face. OK, so not really, but it was rather frightening. I'm having hair anxiety.

And no, I do not know the family in the photo. I stole it from Google Images. I'm sure they were the cat's meow in 1984. I totally would have worn hair that big if I knew how & you can bet I rocked the layered look too!

Help! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody.

When I was younger,
so much younger than today,
I never needed anybody's help in any way.
But now these days are gone,
I'm not so self assured,
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Specifically, I need somebody who understands my hair & can properly cut & style it & teach me to do the same.

Once upon a time my hair was long & straight & loverly. Wash & wear was the way of my world. I often complained that my hair had no body. That it was flat & lifeless. I was stupid. My hair was fabulous & flowing & so much more luxurious that even Fabio's. And then I had babies. Lots & lots of babies. And those babies did evil things to my mane. And I cut it all off.

Ok, Ok, so you all were here & you remember how it went. My hair was long. Bitsy was little. My hair was falling out in handfuls. I was tired. I never had a chance to shower. My head hurt constantly from all the weight hanging from the back of my head. I asked you all for advice. I put up a poll. I weighed the possibilities. Then I made an informed decision & chopped the mess off...all 16 inches of it...and mailed it off to benefit a woman with cancer. I'm still happy with my decision. I am not happy with the current state of my hair.

I haven't even had a trim since that fateful Halloween last year. And to top it all off, the wave came & never left. Yes, I embraced it, but I'm still unsure what to do with it. And have I mentioned my stylist, whom I loved & had only seen twice after having no real stylist for 4 years, closed her shop? CRAP!

My biggest issue at the moment is the lack of wave in the front of my hair. The back & sides are decently wavy, but the front is still stick straight. I either have to pin it up or tuck it under the waves to hide it. The front is also too long at the moment. It needs to be seriously layered. The cut was cute short, but needs help now that it's grown out so much.

I have no idea what to do or where to start. I have no stylist. I'm in desperate need of a cut. I'm trying to let it grow back out to help tame the wave, but it needs something done now. I've even considered the "P" word. Yup, you read that right. A perm. Shhhh...don't let that get out. A body perm possibly. I just don't know what to do.

HELP!

Tubes, Telephones, Photo shoots, and Guilty pleasures

Yesterday's trip to the ENT was successful. There's nothing like driving an hour & a half to see a doctor for 5 minutes & drive an hour & a half home....with three kids. Really, it rocks. (Sniff, sniff...do you smell that? Is it sarcasm?)

BabyGirl has been telling me her tubes were coming out. I told doc. He looked in her ear & said, "She'd be right." Then he reached in with this long tweezer like thingy & pulled out a minuscule piece of plastic that has changed our lives for the better. He said as long as she stays infection free, it's all good. If not, she'll need a new tube. I'm praying for the former.

When we got home Husband said, "Kork called." Kork has a very common name in real life, but is still the only one I know. He wasn't sure if it was actually Kork or Needlefingers as their names are similar. I said, "What exactly did she say." "This is Kork." OK, Needlefingers would never use that version of her name. When she called back I think we ended up talking for an hour & a half. It was nice! We don't get to talk very often....in fact we've gone years without talking in the past. But we always seem to pick up like no time's passed.

Today I am anxiously awaiting the FedEx driver. There's a diamond in transit to my house. I need sparkly things right now. Badly.

QM & Daddy are supposed to be at Busha's house now. I'm not sure if they came in last night or not. Daddy wants to take this rare occasion when he has all 5 of his grandbabies in one place to have their picture made. So QM & I have to consult on wardrobes, dress small folks, and try to get them to smile & look at the camera at the same time.

In preparation, last night both my boys got hair cuts. Wanna' know how cheap I really am? I do it myself at home. We took #1 Son for his first major hair cut (we'd trimmed a bit at home before) and they botched it. My boy has 3 crowns (two at the top of his head & one in front) and a cowlick. I told the stylist about them, showed them to her, and she cut the hair very short around them. His hair stood straight up in the air for 3 weeks. I figured I could butcher it myself at home & save us the $15. QM found me some good hair shears & I began my career as a barber. Personally, I think I'm pretty good at it. I've even trimmed BabyGirl's layers on my own. Husband just buzzes his all off, so that's a no brainer. I'm so ready for Shear Genius.

Which brings me to my latest guilty obsession....I LOVE Shear Genius. In particular I love Daniel. He's so cute & southern & loves him some big hair & he cries & gets all excited about Alison Sweeney & has beautiful, big, uber-white, Chiclet teeth. I just want to go shopping with him!

Then there's Charlie who can seriously do hair, but I'd rather eat glass than spend an hour in a room with him. I so hope he doesn't win, but if his streak continues.....ugh.

At least they sent Oshun home early on. I couldn't have handled 6 weeks of him. Forget hair, personality is enough for me to can someone.

Now if only they could take the winner of ANTM, have her hair styled by the winner of Shear Genius, dressed by the Project Runway winner, and photographed by whoever won that Snapped show (or what ever it was called, I never watched it).

In case you're curious, this is what it looks like when I spend about 30 minutes with my blow drier & flat iron. If you look closely you can still see the hint of a wave across the back of my head. Oh well.

Now, for the meat of my post. Warning: the images below may not be suitable for younger viewers. They are graphic and disturbing. I cannot be held responsible for an terror inflicted or sleep lost as a result of viewing said images.

OK, so maybe they're only terrifying if you're B.B. Our house is over run by Japanese Ladybeatles (or Halloween Ladybugs or Asian Ladybugs all depending on where you live). This happens a few times a year. Once in the spring, just as the weather starts to warm up a bit. Again in the fall when soybeans are harvested. They are irritating, they stink when threatened, but otherwise they are fairly innocuous.

Try telling that to B.B. It will all fall on deaf ears. He is absolutely petrified of them. About a week ago he went tearing through the living room screaming in a complete panic. I flipped out thinking something horrible had happened. Bracing myself for blood, open wounds, broken bones, or at least need for a big ice pack, I caught him & spun him around to face me. "What's wrong?!" "Ladybug! Ladybug! It was on my arm! It touched me!!" and he burst into tears. Poor baby.

There's a sky light in my bathroom. It's over top of the tub. The kids always take their baths in my bathroom. The ladybugs congregate there. He spends most of his time in the tub staring at the celling in a state of high agitation. I've told him at least 5 million times that they won't hurt little boys. That was a mistake.

A few days ago, I caught him trying to run through the living room carrying a rather amused Bitsy under her arms. "What are you doing?! Give her to me! You can't carry the baby, B.B." To which he replied, "I had to, Mommy. I'm savin' her from dem ladybugs. Dem don't hurt little boys, but dem might eat Bitsy 'cause hers is a girl." Can't argue with that logic.

Embracing the wave

A few days back, our Hot Mama guru Sarah asked us for our favorite products. She's giving away a two pack of Softlips (fabulous stuff!!) and initially asked for a post & a link to enter the drawing. Now all you have to do is go comment on her post. It's worth it. Good stuff that Softlips.

At the moment, I have a few favs. First & foremost is my Cetaphil Moisturizing Cream. During my pregnancies, my skin does odd things. Early in the game it gets mondo greasy & I have a major blemish fight on my hands. By the end of the 9 months my skin is so dry I could do finish sanding with it. But many lotions & soaps make my neck break out in an odd rash even if I'm not using the product on my neck.

A few months ago I bought a little tube of this lotion & I love it. It's lasted MUCH longer than I imagined because a little goes a long way. I can use it on my neck without fear of odd bumps, and if the rest of me needs it, it's an all purpose kind of moisturizer (it's actually not labeled as a facial moisturizer at all). It can be a tad on the heavy side, so I mainly use it at night & then a lighter lotion during the day.

Secondly there's my Cherry Carmex. Don't leave home without it...not even to go walking. And try to keep it put up high because B.B. has some kind of odd lip balm fetish. He can wreck a brand new tube in under 30 seconds.

Last, but certainly not least, is my new best friend. Pantene Texturize! Moussing Foam Wax. After chopping the length off my hair last fall, I discovered I could no longer live in denial any more. After 4 pregnancies, my hair had changed. It's always been fine, thick, and straight. No longer. It's still thick, but the fine part is beginning to fade, and the straight part is a thing of the past.

For months I've battled the wave that's taken up residence on the back of my head (seriously, why only the back of my head?). Smoothing creams, the blow dryer, and my flat iron have been my constant companions. When too busy or lazy to tame the tangle, my hair would grow to rather surprising heights & flail about as it saw fit. It was not attractive. And looked oddly like my MIL's hair...never really a good thing no matter how nice your MIL's hair is. It brings up all kinds of Oedipul issues. Eww.

A few weeks ago, I decided to break this stuff back out. I bought it when my hair was clear down my back, but realized it was too difficult to deal with in those vast amounts (at least for me). This time I waxed up while my hair was still wet & dried it with a diffuser attachment. And Voila:

Embracing the wave! It keeps it some what tamed while still allowing the wave to shine through. And it takes a fraction of the time it takes to blow it out & flat iron it.

This is why I heart Pantene Texturize! Moussing Foam Wax. Besides, how can you not love a product with an exclamation point in the middle of it's name?

Know what I love?

7 minute showers. No need for Pony-o's. Using a very small amount of shampoo. No 15 inch hairs wrapped around the baby's fingers. Styling products that actually work with the length of my hair. No need to rearrange my hair so it's not in Bitsy's face. The look on people's faces when they realize I've shed so much of my hair.

To answer your questions:

Yes, I do like it. No, I'm not used to it yet. I cannot keep my hands out of my hair & can't stop looking in the mirror. The ponytail was 14 inches long after she cut it off. I think she cut about 2-3 more inches off after that to get the style. I mailed the ponytail to Pantene's Beautiful Lengths program this afternoon.

B.B. kept telling me to "brush [my] hair back on" today. BabyGirl likes it, but thinks I should get a wig to wear to church because, "Long hair matches your pretty church clothes better." I told her I'd keep that under consideration.

I was tired of finding long hairs all over the house, the baby, the laundry, the sinks, the shower. It was getting gross. The thought of styling my mane was getting overwhelming. And to top it off an all day pony tail was leaving me with a head ache almost every night. The time had come.

If I have your email, I'll try to send you a picture of the finished product in the next few days. I didn't think to take a picture from the front until after my shower tonight, so I'd like to style it before I send out a picture (even though I'm pretty pleased with the wash & wear aspect of it as well).

So much for Wordless Wednesday!

Wordless Wednesday

Before:

After:

Tell Me More, Tell Me More...

Today my much more than ordinary friend Sarah asked what we're doing to move forward in the Hot Mama Revolution. Any goals set? Any challenges to ourselves? Any major set backs?

In all honesty, there are (many, many) days when my Hot Mamaness takes a back burner to life in general. It's not easy spending time on myself when there's a house to keep from caving in, 4 children to wrangle, a Husband to occasionally connect with, and a mind to keep somewhat centered. It's easy to forget to be a girl, much less a pretty girl. But then, that's what the Hot Mama Revolution is all about. Reclaiming ourselves as women. Finding our femininity. Looking like we've slept more than 6 hours in the past 3 days.

You may have noticed that my biggest dilemma is what to do with my hair. I've been seriously working on keeping it out of the pony tail (except in the house), saving the ever present pony-o for nursing sessions. I've purchased new shampoo & conditioner, and been experimenting with Panteen's Texturizing foam (can I just say, long hair with wax in it can be a little unnerving). Husband suggested I cut about 4 inches off, but that wouldn't change much in my mind. As far as I'm concerned it either must be long or short (long being mid-back, past the bra, or longer and short must be closer to the chin than the shoulders). If I cut 4 inches, it's just in between & that makes me a little nuts.

In the past few days I've been toying with the idea of a good trim. Clean it up a bit. An inch or so, nothing major. I think I'm going to call Ashely and see if she can work me in this week. Hopefully that will stop this incessant indecision. And I can move on to blogging about something more interesting than my hair!

Oh, and then there's my new jeans. When the time came to buy new pants, I figured I might as well go for something trendy and cute as opposed to mom jeans with front butt. I opted for Old Navy Skinny Jeans and have worn them almost constantly for the last 3 weeks. I've fallen in love with the tank that came with them, so the two have become my new uniform...and much more flattering than my former uniform of maternity pants & oversized t-shirts. The first time I put it all on, did my make-up, and let my hair down BabyGirl gasped, "Wow, Mom! You look Hot!" As thrilled as I was to get a compliment from my 6 year old, I'm not sure I like her using the word "hot" to describe anyone!

I still have a long way to go, but I think I'm getting there. Now if only I could get in shape too...it might make chasing these little people easier.

The drama continues

I was re-reading Trent Stamp's Take on Locks of Love yesterday when I decided I should check out what else he had written on the subject. I clicked on the Locks of Love label at the bottom of his post and discovered the story was far from over.

Madonna Coffman (the the LOL president) claims that the NY Times has lied in their article and are out to get her organization. She even claims the journalist called her in tears and apologized for what her article had done to the LOL organization.

I have to say, the entire thing has left me with a bad taste in my mouth. Who can you trust? Do you believe a leading newspaper with a professional responsibility to report the truth, or do you trust one of the leading children's charities in the nation? Or do you just ignore it all and keep the hair firmly attached to your head?