I bet you thought I forgot...didn't you?

I can't say I blame you. I nearly did. It's not that I don't love you all & I don't adore giving you advice by the barrel full, but this past week has tried it's darnedest to kill me. I kid you not. Well, maybe I kid you a little.

First of all, the pollen in Southern Illinois has been out to get me ever since our return from vacation. And when it's not microscopic flora attacking me, it's random wigged out weather pressure systems trying to make my head explode. Remind me why I've been waiting for Summer.

And in the middle of it all, these lovely, abstract yellow patches appeared on my bedroom ceiling. Ahhh, the joys of home ownership. Fix the leaky roof your darned self. Gahhh! So this week has been spent hunting roofers, prices, warranty info, and the like. How I love being grown up.

So now, in a desperate attempt at forgetting the water spots lurking above my head, I shall get to your most pressing questions.

Inkling starts us off with a political piece: Here's a serious question. Canadians observe that Americans tie religion and politics together, speaking boldly about their political leanings publicly in services at church, Christian radio programs, etc. A. Do you agree that Americans do that? B. Do you think it is a good thing? Why or why not?

Um, well, not to disagree with an entire country, but I cannot remember having been in a Church service where strong political leanings were preached from the pulpit. I have been in services when moral aspects that cross over into politics (abortion & same sex marriage being the two that jump to mind) are discussed, but never in a "you must vote for Candidate X" way.

I think it's probably much more prevalent in things like radio programs but since I don't listen to much talk radio, I cannot really weigh in on this.

That being said, I think that if you have strong religious beliefs, they absolutely must reach out into every aspect of your life. You cannot claim to be religious (or spiritual) if it doesn't permeate the way you live every part of your life. Our political leanings cannot be at odds with our moral values. I cannot say if Americans are alone in this, but I hope not.

Sarah at Ordinary Days wants to know my divine opinions on familial relations. What do you do about a family member that is a borderline stalker? And how about a family member that thinks you are their therapist but really you're just completely tired of hearing them whine all the time because you're trying to grow your fifth baby while raising the other four?

Oh wow! First of all, I do not envy you this problem. I used to have it, but then Inkling moved to Canada (I kid! I kid! Just had to take a jab at my cousin in retaliation for her hatred for my Facebook profile picture).

First of all, is this just a random aunt or cousin or distant in-law, or is it someone important like your mother, sister, mother-in-law? If it's one of them, sorry, you just have to suck it up, pull up your big girl pants & get over it.

I'm kidding. Stalkers are the worst (not that I've ever been stalked). You can try screening your calls, avoiding all contact with this lovely person, or hiding in your basement for days on end...or you can very politely say, "I'm sorry, but I'm horribly busy right now what with being a pregnant homeschooling mother of four. Can I call you back in about 18 years when I have a chance to sleep through the night and pee by myself?"

Unfortunately, relatives come with their own set of craziness. There's a reason God doesn't let us choose our families. I'm not sure what it is yet, but when I figure it out, I'll give you a call. I guess my best advice would be to firmly but gently establish boundaries (don't I sound all professional & stuff?!). If she (I'm assuming the female gender because we tend to be clingy like this) calls or drops by numerous times a day, tell her as much as you enjoy her company you really need to keep things quiet around the house so Sunshine can nap & you can spend quality time with the boys. Maybe schedule a visit with her sometime when you know you cannot be roped into staying for hours. Go to her house knowing you must be gone by such & such a time because you have a pressing engagement.

And when you tire of giving advice or being a sounding board for all her issues, the phrase, "I really don't know what to tell you. I wish I could be more help," could eventually steer her in the direction of someone more willing/able to dish out the massive amount of support she thinks she needs.

If that all fails, put a giant sign on your front door that reads:

I'm sure there's an answering machine version. In fact, I think I'm going to print one off & keep it by the back door for the next time my SIL comes by with all 3 of her kids at 8 o'clock (the FarmHands' bedtime) on a school night and won't leave.

I totally stole/borrowed (entirely not for profit) this truly awesome piece of artwork from musingsofasarcasticmind.blogspot.com. I wonder if it comes in a version that mentions the Zombie plague.....

Such a time as this.

"As I live, declares the Lord God, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather That the wicked turn from his way and live." Ezekiel 33:11

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that." --Martin Luther King, Jr

At the expense of sounding rather unpatriotic, I have to comment on the death of Bin Laden.

I am not rejoicing. I am not glad that (as a man on the radio said) he's burning in hell. In fact, that makes me very sad.

Don't get me wrong, Bin Laden was a horrible individual. He committed unspeakable crimes. He spread hate like a virus. He killed indiscriminately. He did not deserve to live. I am thankful that he can no longer inflict his evil on others.

But then, neither do I. I've lied. I've stolen. I've hated. I've gossiped. I've turned my back on the Lord. I've sinned. And in the eyes of Lord, there's no difference between the evil I've done and the evil done by Bin Laden. We are both created children of God. It must break His heart to have one of His children die outside of His presence and grace.

Knowing that a child of the Lord is now lost for eternity is not something to celebrate no matter the crimes of that child.

And on top of that, I know that the death of Bin Laden will not end our problem with terrorists. He was one of many men. He was one of a group of men who will not be dissuaded. Westerners (especially Americans) do not comprehend the idea of Jihad. This war will never end on the side of the militant Islamics. Never. To believe this is now over is naive.

All right, folks, I'm getting a bit pissed off.

If my husband and the folks he worked with decided to start bickering over how to do their jobs do you think it would be allowed to continue? No way. If they caused the company to go so far over budget they might never get back in the black and brought production to a grinding halt, you can bet your sweet butt that they'd all be canned. No questions asked. No second chances. But our government? Nah, they can do what ever they please.This is ridiculous. I'm seeing this post all over Facebook today: Dear Mr. President, I hear you would like to freeze pay rates for soldiers starting next year. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save more money for our country? While you're at it, lets cut down all congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why should we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? REPOST if you support troops. Can't say I disagree. Another friend posted the following: ... if Planned Parenthood were really the great organization that so many people claim it to be, it should have no problem securing private funding so that it can remain open...low-income women aren't the victims here. it's the entire nation. both sides are pointing at the other, but that's just what they want us to do. if those responsible for budgeting in the private sector kept the budget in the red year after year, they'd be fired. or not paid. the people should be clamoring for a refund for their tax dollars from ALL elected officials. none of them should have been paid since October 1. including the president. I am honestly floored by the mere mention of the military pay being suspended while our government officials bicker like a bunch of preschoolers. You cannot tell me that a congressman sitting in a plush chair in a huge office deserves his pay on time while my cousin's husband will have to wait for his pay while he fights in Afghanistan. You want my two cents? Here it is. All members of government should have term limits...none of this 14 terms in office crap. No sitting as a judge until Alzheimer's has so addled your brain that you function like a 6 year old. No one should hold the same elected position for 30 years. No one. If it's your job to vote on bills or laws or anything at all, you darn well better show up and vote. No walking out. No skipping votes. No playing hooky. You were elected to govern our country. You're being paid to do so. Now do it. I think any congressman or senator who chooses not to vote on a bill should immediately lose his position. We have to do our jobs. You'd better do yours. As for this lovely practice of hiding riders in legislation...STOP IT!! It's dirty. It's underhanded. It should be illegal. If you want to pass a measure, write a bill about it. Do not hide it in another one that is totally unrelated. And stop this "if you don't pass my bill, I'll veto yours" crap. Grow up. NASA, Planned Parenthood, government funded arts programs, and other non-essentials, I'm sorry, but in the current economic conditions, you need to fund yourselves. If we cannot pay our troops and cannot take care of the people living on social security, we don't need to be pouring billions of dollars into space exploration, government funded abortions, or art exhibits. If we are in such a horrible fiscal place, why are we spending millions and millions of dollars on a war in Lybia? If there are no plans to get rid of Qaddafi (and can we please come to a consensus about how we're spelling his name?!), what's the point in being there? Can NATO not handle this one without us? Why are we there in the first place? If it's for humanitarian reasons, I'm positive we can find ways to help people in this country without sending our men & women to die overseas. I'm all for fighting for our own protection or for protecting the truly un-protected, but how do we justify borrowing money we cannot repay to fight a war half way around the world when folks are starving to death right here? Boys & Girls on Capitol Hill, if you don't do your jobs, don't expect to be paid...and I don't mean "if you are affected by the shut down." I mean, do not allow a shut down to occur or do not expect to be paid. Period. This is your job. Do it. I know that the term Shut Down is being used in the very loosest sense of the words. I know this is going to effect state parks and non-essential workers the most, but it still makes me very angry.

And Germany now in one piece.

Because I love you all so very much, I think I will begin leaving snippits of fabulousness on days I have nothing better to share. Oh, how I wish my internet was fast enough for me to actually watch what I've posted for you. I thought Obama was sending high speed internet to my house....still waiting, Mr.President.

As FarmWife takes yet another important political stance.

"So, what's in the news today that FarmWife is going to get up in arms about?" you may be asking yourself. Boobs. Yup. You've got it. Ta-tas. Knockers. Pick your white-trash slang. They're every where this week...except where they should be.

First of all, there is a major scandal over the Miss Universe Pageant going topless in some new publicity shots (sorry, y'all, no links here). The young ladies are in different stages of undress ranging from bikini tops & bottoms & body paint to just bottoms & body paint. Folks are up in arms about this one. It is a travesty that such an upstanding organization should stoop so low.

Yes, we all know that everything Donald Trump is involved with just reeks of moral fiber. His Miss USA pageant has become the slutty little sister of the Miss America pageant...and we're all surprised by this why? You put a paragon of virtue like the Donald in charge of a group of women vying for "Scholarship money" in their skivvies, toss in a sex crazed media, and quite a few cultures that have no problem with nudity and see where it leads.

Secondly this weekend found protesters on Venice Beach fighting for the rights of women nationwide to "Free your breasts. Free your mind." Yup, topless protesters marching against the inequality of topless laws in the U.S. If men can go shirtless, women should be allowed the same freedom, right?

I have a funny feeling this movement started in the rec room of a frat house. The Alpha Delta Nu brothers were sitting around taking hits of their bongs (both beer &.....not beer) when Brother Jake said, "Dude. I just thought of the most awesome thing ever. If chicks could hang out the campus green topless we could save so much money! We could cancel our subscriptions to Playboy. We could quit hanging out at Miss Kitty's Gentleman's Club and spending all our money on D.D. Kentucky* and her friends." And once they sobered up enough to spell correctly, they made picket signs & started marching.

I'm not sure they really thought this through. Sure, you might end up with one or two topless Carmen Electras roaming randomly around town, but you're much more likely to end up with a rabid pack of topless Roseanne Barrs hanging out at the local play ground.

To be honest, most men you see shirtless are less Taylor-Lautner-in-New-Moon and more My-Fat-Hairy-Uncle-Henry-riding-his-bicycle-to-the-liquor-store-in-105-degree-weather. Personally, I'd rather we all just keep our tops on. As I tell the FarmHands, lets keep our privates private no matter what our gender or political views.

If you really want to get behind a movement with the word "Breast" in the title, how about try something like "Support a Woman's Right to Breastfeed." You'll look much less pervy & won't be ashamed of your past political actions when you're 80.

*If you're wondering about the name of my fictional stripper, you can get a stripper name of your very own with this simple equation: name of your first pet + street you lived on as a child = stripper name.

I relenquish the floor.....

to my father. Daddy is guest posting over on the Queen Mother's blog today. As I have mentioned, he works for one of the Big Three...as did his father, my Grandpa M&M. The bridge loan media coverage is weighing heavily on my family these days. I think what he has to say needs to be heard.

Hmmmmm.....

Robert Grant, the supervising FBI agent on the Blagojevich case, said that if "Illinois is not the most corrupt state" in the nation, "it is a hell of a competitor."

This is the political machine that spit out our new president. Makes me wonder.

And I just heard that someone posted our Senate Seat for sale on eBay!

A call for Secession.

Um, excuse me, Chicago, would you mind seceding from the State of Illinois? Please? You see I have a theory...

Chicago is the third largest city in the US. 3 million people call it home (including a cousin & his wife whom I dearly love). That's 66% of the population of the State of Illinois living in 10,874 square miles (technically this is Metropolitan Chicago...and my info is based on Wikipedia, so if the math is wrong, blame them).

The rest of the State is largely rural. The rest of the state is much more conservative. The rest of the state has little to no say in politics because Chicago overrules us every time.

And today our second governor in a row has been arrested. The last governor, George Ryan, is sitting in prison right now having been arrested shortly after leaving office. Our current governor, Rod Blagojevich, was arrested this morning for attempting to sell the Senate Seat left vacant by Mr.Obama.

So my thought is that Chi-Town should secede from the state & let the rest of us govern our selves with...oh...I don't know...a tad less corruption.

***********

It just keeps getting better. Old Rod is now out on $4,500 bond. And the quotes that have been attributed to him make me ill. The link above keeps changing to keep up with MSNBC's coverage of the mess. In it, Mr. B is credited with saying, ""I've got this thing and it's [expletive] golden, and, uh, uh, I'm just not giving it up for [expletive] nothing. I'm not gonna do it," in reference to the open Senate seat.

I do have one more thing to add to my tirade. Why is the governor of Illinois living in Chicago in the first place? The state capital is Springfield. Why isn't that the seat of our State government? Yet another reason for Chicago to secede. They can continue to govern themselves there, while we govern ourselves from the State Capital.

Inkling has nominated our Uncle Greenteeth, Her younger brother (JL, the one who lives in Chicago), G'ma M&M's preacher, and me to fill either the senate seat or the governorship. I think maybe we could set up some kind of rotation. Two months on, two months off. First JL could be governor & Uncle Greenteeth could be the Senator, then two months later, the preacher & I could take their places....no one would get burned out or be in long enough for the power to go to our heads. This could totally work. Much like an autonomous collective:

King Arthur: Then who is your lord?

Woman: We don't have a lord.

Dennis: I told you, we're an anarco-sydicalist commune. We take it in turns to be a sort of executive officer for the week...

King Arthur: Yes...

Dennis: ...but all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting... King Arthur: Yes I see...

Dennis: ...by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

King Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis: ...but by a two thirds majority in the case of...

King Arthur: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!

Woman: Order, eh? Who does he think he is?

And I'd look great in Sarah Palin's hand-me-down suits.

Look at me! Look at me!

Check me out in all my guest posting glory over at Mom's Marbles today. In the mean time I'm off to have breakfast with BabyGirl at school & learn all about Title 1. Maybe I'll come back later & share what I've learned.

In the mean time: The kids came home from school last night & told me they got to vote at school. #1 Son told me all about it while I was cutting his hair in the side yard. "I can't tell anyone who I voted for because it's a secret!" I said, "You can tell who you voted for, but you don't have to. It's up to you." So he told me. But I can't tell you. He said I'm not allowed to tell anyone, not even Daddy.

BabyGirl, on the other hand, proudly announced that she voted for Barack Obama. When I asked her why she said, "Because he'll be the first black president. And he's got two little girls. And you know what? HE WON!! (in a sing song) Barack Obama wo-n!! Barack Obama wo-n!!"

She'll be really happy when she wakes up & finds out he won for real.

I'm Ready! I'm Ready! I'm Ready! *Updated*

For those of you with small children obsessed with Spongebob, you know exactly how to read that title. For those of you unfamiliar with Spongebob, count your lucky stars!



Husband and I hit the grocery early this week so I don't have to send him alone or try to go while doped up on painkillers. I am now well supplied with homemade applesauce, vanilla ice cream (I was going to get some Ben & Jerry's but then I realized I wouldn't want to chew up the chocolate chunks. Bummer), lots of soups, yogurt, pudding, jell-o, oatmeal, cranberry jelly, potatoes to mash, and eggs to scramble not to mention enough ibuprofen to knock out a small horse, tea bags to pack in my gums in place of the gauze (a hint from the nurse of an oral surgeon) ,Carmex (dental work does nasty things to my lips), and alcohol to make ice packs with (a tip from someone on a mothering message board. You take 1 C. water & 1 C. rubbing alcohol & mix them together in a zip-lock bag & freeze. The alcohol keeps it from freezing solid so you get a nifty gel ice pack like you buy at a medical supply place. I'm trying it now. I'll tell you how it works later). My Zune is charged & I have a special play list made to keep my thoughts positive & prayerful. Directions to the office are printed & ready to go. Busha will be here just after 8 tomorrow morning to drive me. QM will be here maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow before Husband leaves for work. I. Am. Ready.

I forgot to mention that I voted today. I am now allowed to complain & gripe for the next 4 years if I don't agree with what the president does. If you don't vote, I don't think you have the right to complain.

I also stocked up on food that Husband can prepare with little to no effort so my children don't starve. OK, so QM will be here & she can cook, but I wanted to be ready anyway. Then when she goes home I can still take it easy for a while...like the next month or two.

FarmWife talks politics...edited

If that title didn't send you running for the hills, I'm surprised. I am not an overly political person. In fact, I don't particularly like politics. But at the moment, everyone is getting sucked into the presidential race whether they want to or not. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has something to say. Why not me?

Here, for the record, are my two cents.

Mrs.Palin, Oh, Mrs.Palin. How dare you have 5 children and continue to work? How dare you clean up the Alaskan political scene? How dare you allow your 17 year old daughter to get pregnant? How dare you leave your special needs child in the care of others...even if they are your husband and your older daughters?

OK, enough of that. I do believe that a mother's place is in the home (a generalization to be sure). A mom's first priority should be her children (not a generalization). That being said, shouldn't a father's first priority be his children? Shouldn't they be his primary focus? And how old are Mr.Obama's children? Just curious. I wonder how anyone that high up the political ladder can balance work & family.

I also know that there are women who do not thrive in the Stay-at-home atmosphere. There are women who need to foster talents they have that are not of great use in the home. There are women who would feel stifled if they didn't work outside their homes. I know women like this. I am amazed at their ability to balance work & home. I am amazed at the greater quality of the time they spend with their children since the quantity of time is less.

I wonder if Mrs.Palin had been a Mister would the controversy still be there? Would "he" have been raked over the coals for the choices of "his" nearly grown daughter? Would "he" have been torn apart over "his" decision to go back to work 3 days after the birth of "his" Down Syndrome son? I wonder....

When Mr.Biden's wife died & left him a widower with children, he was encouraged to go back to work. Would Mrs.Palin get the same advice if her husband were to pass away?

I do have to say, I agree with Mr.Obama's statement that people's families should be off limits. In his words, "Especially their children." He's right. That is not OK.

I am generally an old fashioned kind of girl. I love the idea of mother's staying home with their kids. I love the idea of a wife in an apron putting her house in order as her husband works hard to support his family. I love the man in the gray flannel suit coming home to his loving family at the end of the work day.

BUT, do not tell me a woman cannot work outside her home. Do not tell me a woman cannot balance a career & a family in the same way her husband can. Not all women can, but neither can all men. Do not tell me that a woman is worth less than a man in the work force. Do not tell me a father cannot stay at home & take care of his children with the same devotion as his wife. People's choices in how they raise their families are very personal.

I think Dr.Phil hit the nail on the head this morning when he said, "This is not what this election is about." So, could we please lay off this woman?


******

I do have one more thing to add. Even if Mrs.Palin does support abstinence only education (which I am all for), in this day & age I cannot imagine a 17 year old not knowing the consequences of unprotected sex. Just because she's teaching her children to abstain from premarital sex, I'm pretty sure they've heard of condoms. Unless of course they're living under a rock. They do have condoms in Alaska. I think it's more of a rebellion/teenage thoughtlessness issue than an abstinence only issue.