Think of it as a mini-HGTV post.

 Above is the kitchen sink our house came with....complete with cracks in the acrylic bottom and stains that will not come clean no matter how much I bleach/scrub/scour/wash them.

 And this is the faucet I've been using for 5 years because B.B. so helpfully snapped the sprayer attachment off the end of the hose (notice the yellow rubber band that keeps it from slipping back down into the faucet).

 Here is the original bathtub fixture on our garden tub in the master bath.  The shine wore off the first year.  And don't even ask about the crappy knobs.

 And here is my new stainless sink.  The bowls are an inch deeper and the drains are off set to help with usable sink space & under skin storage.

 My new faucet that is high enough to fill even the tallest stock pots.  New separate sprayer (if B.B. breaks this one, I'll have a 7 year old to sell on the black market), and fancy handles make it all look pretty.

My lovely new tub fixtures make every day a spa day (see, I totally have a future in marketing.  Delta should totally hire me).  I'm really loving the shower head.  We've never had that in the bath before.  Can't wait to try it out on the dogs....of course it could totally traumatize them.

And finally, this is why I warned you against ever purchasing an acrylic sink.  Not exactly kitchen friendly what with all the open flames present.  You really don't want this happening in your house.

Because I know you're been waiting in breathless impatience.

They're here.  My new camera & my USB modem have finally made their grand appearances leaving me free to blog from the arm chair by my fireplace & take pictures of everything in sight.  Now I can quit stalking UPS and Walmart's tracking site.  I can rest knowing my camera is no longer gathering dust in a warehouse in Kentucky.  Aren't you relived?

Now if only I could figure out how to make all of this new equipment work correctly.  I'm getting there. Slowly but surely.

Last weekend we had a massive down pour after the FarmHands went to bed.  Husband and I were watching television when we heard a rhythmic, "ping, ping, ping."  Water was dripping onto the top of the fire box in the fireplace.  I was not happy.  The next morning I called our roofer & told him what was going on & he said he'd be there as soon as he could to fix it.  Between times, Husband and I decided to have the chimney removed all together to prevent future leaks.  Being just a metal pipe & not a brick chimney, it wasn't that involved a process.  That means we are currently without a functioning fireplace.  The plan is to replace what was using a large amount of wood for blessed little heat with a propane insert or even just a gas log.  That is yet to be determined.  Until then I'm praying we don't have any kind of storms that could knock out our power leaving us heatless in the middle of nowhere.

Anyone out there know anything about fireplace inserts?

Welcome to FarmWife 2.0

I am finally entering the 21st century.  I have a laptop.  No, I am not blogging from it as it's only equipped with an Ethernet port and we are still on dial-up.  Newegg.com is sending me do-hicky to allow me to plug my new toy into the phone line & blog from the comfort of my couch instead of from the antique desk chair of butt agony where I currently reside.  Until then, it's just a really expensive toy for playing majong.

I'm also awaiting delivery of my new camera so's I can get back to posting pictures of the back of people's heads.  Excited, aren't you?  A slight upgrade from the 8 year old Kodak 3 megapixel I was using, our new camera is a 16.1 Mp Sony with 10x optical zoom.  Still a point & shoot, but totally enough for me.  Unlike the Queen Mother, I am not a portrait photographer...unless of course my new camera has a portrait setting- then watch out, Annie Lebowitz.  I'm going to be the next big thing in fashion & celebrity art photography.  Just as soon as I'm done taking pictures of my blue roof.

In the meantime I'm waiting for the temperatures to reach 35 degrees so we can get out of this house.  No, we've not been trapped here long, really only today, but the sheet of ice outside makes me a bit crazy.  It's not a heavy ice.  It's more like a Krispy Creme glaze.  But it's just enough to keep us all crammed in the living room together for hours on end.  At least we have a DVR full of movies & Firefly episodes.

Love at first Spin Cycle

I have found true appliance love. And it's Wild Cherry Red.

There was a brief time when I thought this all was a huge mistake & we'd just dumped $$ down the toilet....but then Husband & the Sears guys did their magic (it was a very minor snafu) & now I'm in love. And the red? It looks great with the purple walls. I don't care what my husband thinks of it. I adore the colors together.

My current favorite feature: the timer that tells me exactly how long I have to wait until the awesome video game/ring tone chime rings to tell me it's time to empty my washer. Oh, and the fact that I can't hear the spin cycle all over the house like we're amplifying it with sub woofers. Oh, and the million different settings I can use depending on the material I'm washing. Oh, and the light inside my dryer. Oh, and the 3/4 less water it's using to wash the gigantic mattress cover that never did fit in my old washer. Oh, and the 7.4 cubic feet of space in the dryer that will dry all the towels we've used today instead of having to save some for tomorrow's wash....which would then equal 2 loads. Oh, and the rack I can put in the dryer to dry sweaters or sneakers. Oh, and the load sensor on the washer that lets me know how much detergent I need to put in. Oh, and the fact that the FarmHands can now sit mesmerized by the laundry instead of the television. Oh, and BabyGirl's announcement that she wants a washer "just like this one when I grow up because it's so awesome!"

I just finished sanitizing my sheets. Yup. No crazy sheet germs here. I may be up all night hunting for things to stuff in the 4.2 cu. ft. of my new washer. How many loads of laundry is too many for one day?

If you don't hear from me for a few days, you may want to send someone from an LG Front Load Washer support group to drag me out of my laundry room. Oh, and I'm starting a new Twitter hashtag: #LaundryIntervention. Join the discussion!

Oh the Dilemma....

I have a purple laundry room.

I know, it's horrible, isn't it? I just don't know what to do. I may need therapy.

Wait, I'm pretty sure I've left out some important details. What have we covered so far? Oh, yes, I have a purple laundry room.

Have I mentioned the red washer & dryer that are being delivered to my house tomorrow? I haven't? Whoops. That may help clarify things a bit.

Can you really put a red washer & dryer in a purple laundry room? Is it socially acceptable or a complete interior design faux pas? I'm really in a quandary over this.

In case you've missed it, or you live in say...Canada...we in the Midwest have been suffering through the hottest summer since the 1930's. I have a mildly defective outdoor thermometer hanging in my kitchen window & it's read over 100 degrees every day this week. The humidity has lingered around 98-99% all week. It's been like living in a pile of wet blankets. Hot, wet blankets. Smelly, hot, wet blankets. It's not been pleasant.

Thursday night my dryer committed suicide. I'm not sure what happened. I assumed it was protesting having to run in such unholy heat & humidity, but that same humidity was keeping clothes on the clothes line damp for hours days weeks. Yes, weeks. Weeks & weeks. At least that's my excuse for running it during a record breaking heat wave...that & totally not the fact that just stepping out my back door left me in desperate need of a shower & the FarmHands were succumbing to total anarchy when left alone long enough to hang a load of towels.

Husband came home from work & tried to use his FarmBoy skills to resurrect it but sadly his efforts were in vain. He talked to his buddies at work & was told a similar occurrence happened to one of them. Said buddy had his dryer fixed only to have it give up the ghost for good 3 months later. That's when Husband decided it was probably time for a new dryer. Being All High Queen of the Laundry around here, I wasn't about to argue.

So yesterday we loaded up the FarmHands (such a brilliant idea when you're going appliance shopping...take 4 kids who will be bored & all have to pee within the first 3 mintues of actual shopping) and headed to town to see what Sears had in stock. We didn't plan on purchasing, just looking (this seems to be a theme with us). We both agreed that as long as the heat held, there was no immediate need for a new dryer. The clothes line works just fine.

But then they called to me. They are the yet to be named major appliances that are coming to live at my house tomorrow. They are a matched set of Red LG front load washer & dryer we found for $800 off the MSRP. And yes, I am totally going to name them. I'm not sure what yet, but I'll get there. And have I mentioned the $800's off?

Husband's biggest hang up was the fact that they are red & just a few months back we painted the laundry room purple. Yesterday he was threatening to paint it white, but I firmly put my foot down. "If you paint my laundry room, we're going to have words, Mister." See how firm I can be? Like granite.

I'm not at all worried about the color issue ($800 off, people!). I think it will look fine. For those of you saying, "Who cares? It's not like anyone really sees your laundry room anyway," um, yeah, they do. Every time they come in our house. Our most frequented entry way to the house is from our side door...that leads from the small mudroom to our kitchen....with the laundry room coming off one side.

At least my fancy new washer & dryer will get noticed.

On today's Memoirs: Mini-Van Adultry. What's your stance?

There has been a loss & a new addition to the Farm Family. Hank, Husband's Silverado, has gone to live with another, smaller family...as soon as the dealership finds one for him. And Babe has come to take his place.

Hank had transmission problems earlier in the year and Husband has been suspicious of Hank's intentions since. Going anywhere in Hank means finding a baby sitter, so that's a mark against him. So Hank lost his place of honor. Personally, I had nothing against him, but he wasn't My Truck.

Husband picked out Babe all by himself on Tuesday while I was getting the FarmHands ready to drive 80 minutes to see a doctor for 3 minutes and turn around and drive home. Yesterday, he took me to meet her, sign her papers and bring her home.

It was love at first sight.

I love Babe. I love her shiny blue exterior. I love her dual sliding power doors. I love her touch screen media center (although I think I need a class on how to use it). I love her Fold and Go seats. I love, love, love her Sirius XM radio. The FarmHands (and by association, I) love her dual flip down DVD players. In fact, the only thing (thus far) that I do not love about her is the lack of auto headlights (that's just weird...she has a 30 GB hard drive but manual headlights).


But part of me feels horribly guilty because we seem to be leaving Mammy out in the dust...literally. I drove her into town today to register the FarmHands for school. I was all alone in her massive interior sans car seats. The kids' CD wallet has been taken out of her door & is about to be stashed away in Babe's interior. The kids' blankets are no longer tucked safely under her seats but are instead, hidden away in Babe's Fold & Go storage bins. She is an empty shell. And I'm pretty sure she knows why.

I remember just how much in love with Mammy I was in the beginning. She was our protector. She was our home on wheels as it were. And now we have demoted her to Driving-Dad-to-Work mode and parked her in the space farthest from the house so Babe can be away from the acorns that will be falling very soon.
I'm cheating on my first mini-van love with a new, younger, fancier version of her. Poor Mammy has to sit in the drive way & watch. I still love her. Unfortunately, she doesn't ride quite as smooth as Babe and I have children prone to motion sickness (not to mention the Pimp-My-Ride aspects of Babe).

I hope she can find it in her internal combustion heart to forgive me and continue to serve us well...even if she has to sleep next to that flashy floozy every night.

Three days in & still no end in sight.

My wonderful, loving, overworked husband had a 3 day weekend off work. The weather was fabulous & he got to spend all of his time out of doors.


Building the play house from Hades.


And it's still not done.


Bless his heart.


We both know that once it is finished & the FarmHands can be turned loose on it, it will be worth all the time & effort spent on it, but in the midst of the blood (his), sweat (ours), and tears (the FarmHands') it's tempting to douse the entire thing with lighter fluid & set a match to it.

Yesterday was The Curly Slide Debacle of 2010. 140 or so bolts (my words to QM were "A hundred & a heck of a lot"), twice the number of washers, 18 or so giant yellow pieces of plastic, and around 6 hours of "This isn't right. This can't be right. Let's take it down & do it this way. This doesn't make sense. Check those instructions again. This is too heavy! Wait, no, the other way. Crap, that's wrong. Why won't this work? Gah!!!" and it's almost finished.....the slide that is. There's still monkey bars to assemble & attach and the entire swing set portion to build.

We may be finished before BabyGirl out grows it. But then again, maybe not.

How to build a wooden play structure for your children in a few simple steps.

1. Have a baby & decide to move to the country.


2. Move to the country & have 3 more babies.


3. Clear out a place in the woods next to your house.


4. Put horse in the woods.


5. Wait a few years.


6. Buy goats.


7. Put goat pen in the woods.


8. Wait 3 to 4 years.


9. Move goats.


10. Assemble play structure (*see note).

See, it's really not that hard. It only takes 7 years & your kids will love you for it....if it ever gets finished (*really, you need to read the note). Eventually you can take pictures of it to post to your blog & send to the Queen Mother & Pa who purchased the play structure for their Grandchildren.

Note: I want to know exactly who's job it is to put the time estimates on build-it-yourself play sets. Then I want to show up at their house, bang on the door until they either agree to talk to me or call the police & take out a restraining order.

I want to know a few things. How exactly do you come up with the assembly time for this structure, of 6 to 8 hours for 2 people? Did your 2 people major in play set construction in college? Do they have double doctorates in it? Can they read each other's minds therefore skipping any and all need for communication? Do they each have 2 power drills for their own personal use so they don't have to switch out between the counter sinking drill bit & the phillips head screwdriver? Are there personal assistants for each assembler to hand them things, steady the ladder, and sort parts? Or do they have some kind of telekinetic powers that aid in construction? I know you don't figure in potty breaks or time to eat, but I guess that's far too much to ask.

For the record, we're 2 days in & on step 23 (I think) of 48....not including the slide. I don't even want to know how many steps that's going to take. Grant it, Husband has done 90% of the work himself & following the directions as printed is not difficult, but 6 to 8 hours could only be accomplished by members of the X-Men team or a full work crew from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

BUNK BEDS!!! WE GOT BUNK BEDS!!!!

Today has been no less than 42 hours long. It has to have been. Otherwise there is no way on earth we have done everything I'm sure we've done.

This morning Husband & I dropped the FarmHands off at Uncle E's house & headed to "the largest display of furniture in the USA" to look for bunk beds. They really aren't kidding about the "largest" thing. This place is pole barn after pole barn after pole barn. They have enough furniture there to furnish 300 homes....and the bunk beds were in the very back of the store.

We came home armed with a new Broyhill bunk bed for the boys, bunk boards, and mattresses. Then came the putting together of the bunk beds and the asking 1.7 trillion times if the bed was done (if we had a dollar for every time they asked, I'm pretty sure we could foot the bill for Obama's new budget). Then came the climbing up & down & up & down & up &...you get the picture. Next was the moving out of BabyGirl's ancient, crappy Queen sized bed & replacing it with QM's/Mine/BabyGirl's/#1 Son's twin sized bed & B.B.'s old toddler bed for Bitsy. Then came the rearranging of everything any of them owns. In the middle of all of this came the vacuuming of no less than 8 pounds of dust from the carpets under the beds (I don't move beds regularly). Then came the giving the old Queen bed to Big BIL for him to give to his SIL (the one who's baby their fostering).

After all this we all loaded up & headed to town to get groceries (a few groceries & a few essentials like deodorant & diapers) and new bedding for the new bunk beds. Yeah, that was not fun. #1 Son decided he wanted Transformer sheets as soon as he & his dad hit the sheets aisle. I'm sorry, but I am not paying $22 for horribly crappy, sandpaper like sheets just because they have Optimus Prime emblazoned on them. #1 Son cried hysterically for the rest of the trip to the store. I was ready to gag him after about 15 minutes...if you were there tonight, my deepest apologies. At one point Husband was ready to cave, but I (firmly but gently) said over my cold, lifeless body.

We came home from town full on McDonalds & faced with about 1.7 trillion more things to do.

It's all now done & everyone (except Husband & me) are happily tucked into their new/new to them beds. I'm not sure how Bitsy will do sleeping in BabyGirl's room, but I'm hoping for the best.

Husband & I have a hot date to watch NCIS so I'm off. Enjoy your weekend!

Don't worry, I'm still here.

Although I have been sucked in by the reunional loveliness that is facebook, I am determined not to abandon you here at Memoirs. Although I will admit that I have facebook open in another tab while I'm blogging. Does this mean I'm cheating on my blog? Do you feel betrayed? I have 47 friends on facebook & I've only been there two days. Maybe I need a support group. NaBloPoMo is helping to keep me focused.

In non-facebook news...nothing is happening here. Nothing at all. It's cold & rainy & I want to spend the entire day in bed watching classic movies, but I have four kids to wrangle & we don't have a television in our bed room. Guess that shoots my plans to heck.

Instead I will cloister myself indoors, watch too much TV, eat out of boredom, and try not to spend the entire day on the computer. Maybe I'll clean up my kitchen & bake a batch of gingerbread cookies. That sounds yummy & I have a bunch of new cookie cutters to use that the aunties brought the last time they came to visit.

In the meantime, check out the poll. Peeing in the shower seems to have won it, although there are more than a few of you that are grossed out by it. Thanks for voting! I'll have to think of something new to replace it. Any ideas?

In case you were wondering, Betty does a lovely job of boiling water. Her whistle isn't piercing or shrill and won't wake the dead, but it did alert me. I think I love her. And she almost matches my new coat (yes, I got it a few weeks ago but haven't taken a picture yet. I'll get to it soon).

BTW, I am pea green with envy right now. My folks are off enjoying a weekend away at a swanky hotel in the greater Nashville area compliments of one of Daddy's co-workers. Oh, and Daddy got a new iPhone this week. What is the world coming to?!

Fevers, gate, and fridges! Oh my!

How can a girl with a temp of 102.3 still have a raging attitude? It's really horrible to think I sort of revel in the days when BabyGirl is ill because she's not angry. She just lays on the couch & watches videos & asks nicely for things. When she gets better she feels the need to make up for her days off by coping major attitude & tormenting her brothers constantly! It's almost enough to make a mom withhold the ibuprofen. Almost.

Today at one o'clock, BabyGirl, #1 Son, & Bitsy all have check ups. So far, #1 Son's the only one who isn't sick. I'm wondering if they'll do a school check up/well baby check on sick children. And to top it off, I have to take all 4 of the FarmHands with me. When I made the appointment I thought it would be no big deal as they'd all be well. Dragging sick kids around is not great fun. Maybe I'll take them to DQ for milk shakes afterwards. That may work wonders as a bribe!

My cousin Scotty is up visiting with his wife May & their daughter Katie. I've never met May or Katie before...and won't get to unless the girls can manage to get well very soon! Scottie has done 2 tours of duty in Iraq. Last summer he was home on leave for 2 weeks, so he & May got married over one weekend. He came home for good a few months ago & it was just a matter of weeks before Busha called & told me they were expecting. This weekend Unkie Di is throwing them a baby shower (the baby isn't due until December, but this is the only time the entire family can get together since they're spread across the country). My trip to town needs to include a stop at Wal-Mart so I can pick up fabric for a blanket, burp cloths, and a taggy.

Yesterday Husband dug out the old baby gate. We haven't had it up because it's technically broken. Husband has rigged it up to stay, but opening it is a bit of a challenge. We built a make shift barricade to keep Bitsy out of the kitchen with her play pen & toy boxes. She's now big enough to climb over one toy basket or just pull it out of the way, so the barricade wasn't working.

The FarmHands are not happy about the baby gate since none of them are allowed to open it. But I'm hoping it serves a dual purpose: keeping Bisty out of the kitchen trash, and B.B. out of my new fridge! Isn't she pretty & shiny? Wonder how long that will last?

(and yes, that is a tiny chainsaw on top of my fridge. Unkie Di & Uncle Gick gave it to #1 Son for Christmas a few years back. Craftsman has an entire line of toys. It gets confiscated frequently due to a little too much Leatherface action around here.)

Happy Birthday, Bitsy! You get a new fridge!

One year. One short, fun filled year. There's no possible way it's been an entire year since our Bitsy came into this world. No way at all. It's only been a few months. I refuse to accept this. Forget the cake sitting on the counter. Forget the #1 candle waiting to be lit. Forget the presents the FarmHands passed out to her this morning. My baby cannot possibly be an entire year old.

The FarmHands keep telling me, "She's not a baby, Mom. She's a toddler!" To which I reply, "No she's not! You're not the boss of her! Shut up! Don't look at me! I hate you! You're the worst children ever!" Then I slam my bedroom door and cry on the bed in the fetal position. OK, so not really. But I want to.

In other news, my ring leaves tomorrow to go on a grand adventure. FedEx will pick up my empty setting & whisk it off to the Insurance adjusters to be appraised. Then I must decide if I want them to replace my diamond for me, if I want to replace it myself, or if I want to take the cash & run. Guess it just depends on how far the cash would get me....lets see, with gas what it is....a diamond should get me about 25 miles from home. Yeah, not worth it.

And in even more fabulous news, I am now the proud owner of a new refrigerator. yipee. The old one was only 5 years old. grrrrr. I've decided that ice makers are evil!! The old fridge had one & at some point it leaked. We thought we caught the leak fairly early, but I guess we were wrong. Yesterday the boys asked for Popsicles. When I grabbed the Pop-Ice out of the freezer, it was completely thawed. Oh dear.

Husband pulled the fridge out from the wall only to discover the rear left wheel was sunk into the sub flooring about 1/4 inch or so. The vinyl flooring under the fridge was burnt! I'm pretty sure the leak from the ice maker had been going on much longer than we suspected & damaged the sub flooring. When the fridge sank, it wasn't getting proper air flow & the compressor burned out.

Today we hunted down a new fridge, brought it home, temporarily fixed the floor so it would hold the new fridge up right, and started making new ice. This one better last more than 5 years!

My husband is a gardening fool. We have 13 tomato plants. There's an entire row of watermellons plus six more watermellon plants in another single row all by it's self. There are pumpkins, squash, cucumbers, bush beans, tons of peas, zuchini, peppers, carrots, onions, and rows, and rows, and rows of sweet corn. And every time I turn around, he's tillling up another patch and planting more stuff. Right now we have 1,000 square feet of garden in one plot, and three more plots of various sizes. Yikes! Anyone want to come over for veggies in August?

Tomorrow is my guest blog at Ordinary Days. I still have no clue what I'm going to blog about. I kind of feel like I've been asked to house sit...I get to poke around Sarah's cabinets & see what she's hiding in her underware drawer. Or I could just go in and water the plants, check the mail, and lock up. Hmmm...what would you do?

Today was our first VBS meeting at church. We usually start planning in February or March...this year there have been problems, so we're starting MUCH later than usual. Since I was out last year because of Bitsy's birth, I decided not to go back to teaching pre-k. I wanted to move up a bit. Our 3rd & 4th grade teacher started attending a different church, so I'm going to take her place. When I said I'd take the position, every head at the table whipped around to look at me with total shock. "Really? You want to teach the middler class?" Yes. I do. "It's the biggest class we have. They can be a handful." I live with 4 handfulls. The Pre-K class is about 13 handfulls. I think I can handle 8 & 9 year olds. Besides, I have lots of folks to pray for me (yeah, that would be you all...you can start praying now if you like. VBS starts August 3rd. I should be well bolstered by prayer by then).

Uncle Little BIL came to visit yesterday. The kids are loving having him close enough to come visit on the weekends. And he's loving the laid back attitude of the stateside military as opposed to the by-the-book attitude of the folks stationed in Korea.

I've been playing with my Zune lately. It's tons of fun, I must say. At the moment I'm working on a play list of angry girl songs. RL gave me Miranda Lambert's CD....Gunpowder & Lead started the whole thing. Country music speaks to me (as much as I hate to admit that). I love the story telling. At anyrate, I need more angry girl music. It's good to work out to. Love songs just don't make me want to push myself...and boys don't get angry quite as creatively as say....Carrie Underwood carving her name into her man's truck seats.

Wanna' check out what I've been listening to? http://social.zune.net/member/FarmWife

FarmWife Answers, episode six

Here we are again. Have we really done this 6 times?!

To begin our round of questions, Mrs.X asks: Is it possible to live without a TV? I am so sick of commercials! Or should I just invest in a DVR?

I can state emphatically, it is possible to live without a TV. I've done it a few times. When I was little our TV blew up & we didn't get a new one until Bubba was big enough for Sesame Street. That's part of the reason QM read all the Little House books & the entire Chronicles of Narnia to me before I started Kindergarten.

At the moment I fear the picture tube in our TV is singing its Swan Song. When it dies I think we will disconnect the Satellite & live without it for a while. DVD's can be watched on the computer if we like....and I won't have to watch anymore UFC or Spongebob Squarepants!! But that also means giving up House & Scrubs. Maybe I haven't thought this through properly.

I also think a DVR would be tres cool. But since I don't have one, I cannot personally recommend it. I know Emily loves her Steve-o!

Ang wants to know: Why does Oscar Meyer ready to serve bacon say 'serving size 4' but contains 15 slices?

I think they know no one can actually cook bacon (or even put it on a plate) without eating a slice or two or three....so call it emergency bacon (because who wants 3.75 slices of bacon?)

Ang's second question is: Why does the Midwest start and end earlier in school than the pacific northwest? Farmers Hours?

I think you hit the nail on the head. We start school before harvest & end during planting. I guess if it were actual Farmers Hours we wouldn't start until after harvest & get out before disking time...but then the kids would be in school about 15 minutes a year. I don't think that would work out well what with the entire mid-west being 43 when they graduated from High School.




Apparently there is a nation wide outcry about school starting earlier & earlier in the summer. I have to admit, I do not relish sending my 6 year old to school when it's 98 outside. She practically melts on the bus ride home.




And Ang finishes up with: Would it be a pink zune by chance from QM and Daddy?




Good guess, Ang. But it's not pink, it's red. You see, they don't do an 80GB!!! in pink. :D And it should be here in 5-7 days....well in time for vacation. Isn't she pretty? Think I'll call her Katie Scarlett. So while my children fight & clamor for attention I can "Just tune in, turn off, drop out, drop in, switch off, switch on, and explode." Yeah, right. But, I'm a tad bit excited, can you tell?




QM asks (in her normal manner of making me work for a living): Is it really a 5 o'clock world and during a 24 hour time period is it 5pm somewhere once for each hour of that 24 hour period?





Yes, Mama, Jimmy Buffett & Alan Jackson are right. It really is 5 o'clock somewhere. There are 24 time zones world wide making it actually 5 o'clock two somewheres all day long...but one is the roll-out-of-bed-before-the-sun 5 o'clock & the other is the belly-up-to-the-bar-boys 5 o'clock. So go ahead & have your tiny wine, Mama.





In keeping with her Nursery Rhyme theme, QM asks: Why did the 10 o'clock scholar wait until noon?





My guess is that his stories didn't come on until 11 & his Ti-Vo was on the fritz.





A diller, a dollar, a ten o'clock scholar.
What makes you come so soon?
You used to come at ten o'clock,
But now you come at noon





A killer, a choler, a ten o'clock scholar
Once came to school too soon.
Last term he came at ten o'clock—
This term he comes at noon





I'm having a horrible time finding the meaning of this nursery rhyme. I'm going to keep looking...
if anyone has any info, please, share!

The Queen Mother wants to know: What are blue laws and were do they come from?

Blue Laws are laws designed to enforce a moral standard, especially in regards to Sunday work & worship. Most have been repealed or deemed unconstitutional, but some still exist mainly in limiting the times you can sell alcoholic beverages on Sunday. They were first enacted by the 17th Century Puritans. In some cases certain types of merchandise was not to be sold on Sunday. In others businesses were not permitted to open on Sunday.

My mother finishes her turn up with: If you had to plan a party for the Queen of England were would you have it and who would you invite?

Wow! Can't say I've ever considered this. While most people would throw a huge shindig at a uber-fancy local, I think I'd probably invite her to the country. I'd hire Princess to help decorate & organize. Maybe have a garden party...tea, cakes, punch, hats, & dresses...And I'd invite my Aunts & Grandmothers & girlfriends & (of course) the Queen Mother & Princess. We would have a nice quiet visit, eat, drink, and be merry. I would like to hear stories of her childhood.

Preliminary Findings

I have used my new vacuum (Lift-Off® Revolution® Pet Vacuum) & I must say I am currently impressed.

I knew my old cleaner (a Dirt Devil Swivel Glide Vision) was on it's last leg, but I was a tad mortified to see just how much it was missing. I had to empty the dirt cup once before I'd even finished the living room! I dumped it three times by the time I finished with all the carpets.

The new one has two filters that can be removed & washed (a BIG plus for me) and a HEPA filter that's to be replaced every 6 months. The old one had a filter you could beat the dust out of but not actually clean & a HEPA that I'd never replaced (after 7 years...whoops).

Other pluses:

• The brush stops if you set the back of the vacuum upright so you don't have to worry about excess stress on the belts.
• There's a switch to shut off the brush (the old one was supposed to shut off when you set the carpet height to bare floor, but it never really did).
• The entire canister lifts out. If you're cleaning base boards or cobwebs off the ceiling, you just carry the canister & leave the body of the vacuum behind.

So far, so good.

My new toy.

We went to the new Manards a few towns over to check it all out. Husband wanted to look at trailers to pull behind his new truck (which he named "Hank" after Hank Hill). Instead we came home with a new medicine cabinet for the kids' bathroom & a new sweeper for me! Yipee! It's not the Dyson I've been coveting, but I still think I'm going to like it. I haven't gotten to use it yet because the boys were in bed by the time we finished with the new medicine cabinet.

Now if only we can get that bathroom painted....

Going on an MP3 Hunt, Gonna' pick a cute one

Thanks to Ragged, I'm now stalking this instead.

And to answer your questions, Daddy. No, it doesn't have to be pink...but pink would be good. It may prevent FarmBoy from spiriting my new toy away to use in his new truck (which I've now driven twice). Blue would be OK...or red...or green...oh, purple would be cute...sparkly....

Hello, Goodbye

It's done. The Goatmobile is gone...well, it's still somewhere, but not here. I've always hated that truck, but it's been around longer than I have, so driving away from the dealership this morning and leaving it behind seemed like a bit of a betrayal.

Husband bought it in 1994 shortly after he bought his house. Actually he had a full size truck that he traded in for a new Camaro then traded the Camaro for the Goatmobile...all 3 vehicles were brand new & all 3 were 1994 models. He was 19...you know how it is. But I have to say, buying your first home at the ripe old age of 19 is quite a feat!

I used to see it parked at C**** when I first started working there. You couldn't miss it. When FarmBoy & I first met I was surprised to find out it was his. He didn't seem like the type to have a truck covered in purple & green decals.

FarmBoy had a buddy who called him 'Goat' in reference to his ever present goatee. Shortly before we got engaged I found a bumper sticker that said "Goat-Boy." I got it & much to my surprise, he stuck it to the back window. Since then I've thought of his truck as the Goatmobile.

I wonder how long it will take me to quit listening for its familiar rattle as he pulls up the drive at night. How long will it take for me to get used to the sight of his new pretty lady parked next to my van? How long before he lets me drive her?

I am so glad he's got a new truck. I won't really miss the old one. And I must say 14 years of service isn't bad. Goodbye old goat. Hello Silverado!

Like Pilot & Needles....

We're doing our part to boost the economy. On Tuesday (we think) Husband will have a new toy (OK, so maybe I shouldn't call it a toy). The one he's getting isn't a crew cab, it's a regular cab, but you get the idea. I'm relieved as the thought of him tooling around in his truck makes me a tad nervous. It's been on it's last leg for the past 3 years. We would have replaced it years ago, but the fact is, you can't fit 4 car seats in a Saturn Station wagon. I had to have the van.

Today we talked to our friendly salesman (the one I refered to at the end of my letter) and he found just what we're looking for. Husband has wanted a 4 wheel drive truck since we moved to the country. With the roads being the way they are in the winter, he really needed one.

This means my ATV will have to wait until next year. Oh well. It's really for the best since Bitsy isn't exactly big enough to ride & I can't be away from her very long while she's still nursing. So until then, I'll just love her from afar & leave you with one last look at her in all her beautiful blueness. I'm not upset...really...snif...I'll be right back...snif.

WWLT: FarmWife Edition...again

Today we have learned that:

• the mere mention of a four wheeler for my own personal use will cause me to repeatedly visit said machine on the Internet and talk to and about it while gazing at the lovely blueness that it is. (Admit it, she's pretty...you wish you had one too, don't you? Come on, you can tell me.)


• when Husband's ATV is parked in the yard, I will set on it aimlessly glancing in his direction with a stupid grin on my face until he climbs on behind & instructs me on how to operate said machine.


• driving a fore mentioned ATV in circles around the house is surprisingly fun.


• driving it down the gravel road is surprisingly nerve racking to begin with...but gets fun real fast.


• Mommy drives faster than Daddy & turns around in the road. Daddy only goes through more fields. He never turns around. Does he even know how to turn around? (I should note that none of this is true. I do not drive fast & Husband can turn around.)


• Having a "set path" to follow keeps me from panicking. I'm not big on not knowing exactly where I'm going to turn. Makes me a bit nervous.


• I need to learn how to put it in reverse.


• a four wheeler is simply the FarmWife's reality setting in to replace her dreams of a motorcycle of her very own.


• suede Keds ballet flats are not good to shift in.

Oh dear. I'm obsessed again, aren't I?