Dear Saxon Math,

I hate you and I hope you die.

Really.

Slowly and painfully.

Much like the problems in your fourth grade books.

First of all no 9 year old needs to do 30 problems of math every night.

Secondly, some of the children in your word problems can be named Mark, Emily, Jacob, or Sarah. They do not all need to be T'Marra, Shunsuke, Shakura, and Jin (all 4 names directly from tonight's homework assignment).

Thirdly, the little grids on the papers you send for homework to be done on leave a great deal to be desired. Like space. If you are going to ask a question in 3 parts a fourth grader is going to need more than a 2" by 2 1/2" square to do their work, write the answer, and explain their reasoning.

a. T'Marra knew that her trip would take about 7 hours. If she left at half past 9 in the morning, what time would she arrive?

b. If T'Marra traveled 350 miles in 7 hours, then she traveled an average of how many miles an hour?

c. Using your answer to part b, make a table to show how far T'Marra would travel at her average rate in 1,2,3, and 4 hours.

Yeah, that's all going to fit in a 5 square inch box in the massive hand writing of a newly cursived 9 year old. Especially the table.

If you asked him how many buses were needed to transport 116 students, 8 teachers, and 13 adult volunteers (again, chaperones would be fine) if each bus holds 40 passengers and his paper looks remotely like this:

116+8+13= 137
137/40=3 r 17
4 buses

why for the love of all that is holy does he have to "Explain his answer" again?! He gave you the answer. You can see the steps he took to get there. I do not see the point in writing a paragraph (again in your tiny square full of math facts) explaining how he came to that conclusion.

Heaven forbid he gets sick. 3 days off school means 90 problems to make up on top of the 30 more you're going to give him each night. If he was so ill he only managed to complete 1 assignment in the 3 days he was home sick and he gets another full page each day to complete at home and he has 3 1/2 hours to do his work and he spends 1 hour 18 minutes on Science and Social Studies and 42 minutes on Grammar how many days will it take him to make up the crap load of work you seem to think he needs to make him a functioning member of fourth grade society?

Explain your answer.

               All of the Math problems from tonight's post are taken directly from #1 Son's Saxon Math book with the exception of the terribly clever one 2 paragraphs above. This is not reflection on how I feel about homework in general nor about #1 Son's teacher who is assigning the work she is required to teach. 

You'd think I'd have learned the first time.

#1 Son has crazy hair. It's thick. It grows fast. It's coarse. He has 3 crowns and a cow lick. His hair is a hot mess. All that said, it took me putting his hair in pig tails to get his dad to agree it was time to take him to get his first hair cut.  Being that I wanted to strike while the iron was hot (i.e. while Dad was still on board), I ran him into Walmart to Smart Style to get his hair cut.

When we were paired up with a stylist I explained his hair to her and told her it had to be left longer on the top because without the weight of long hair, it would stick straight up in the air. She nodded and agreed and discussed it with me, then she cut it short and it stuck straight up in the air.

After that I decided I could butcher their hair at home for free and save us the $12 a cut would cost. Yes, there were a few times I did a less than stellar job but for the most part #1 Son and B.B. have looked well groomed thanks to a pair of shears QM grabbed for me from a Sally Hansen outlet.

I continued to go to Smart Style to get my hair cut on and off for the next 8 or 9 years. They usually did a decent job.

Then BabyGirl convinced her Daddy to let her get her hair cut short. We were out running errands so again we popped in to Smart Style but this time in a different town. BabyGirl and I explained the chin length bob she wanted and that she did not want any layers.  When we got home I took a good look at the cut and realized it was a good inch shorter in the front than in the back giving her a bit of a Dutch Boy cut.  Not exactly flattering but too short for me to do much about.  6 weeks later I broke the shears out and fixed it. She was much happier with my cut than the one from Walmart.

Flash forward a few more years (and attempts at finding a beauty shop I like) I popped in to get the much needed post head lice hair cut. The stylist did a wonderful job and I was thrilled. I returned to her 3 or 4 more times over the course of the year and she always did a perfect job.  I even messaged the corporate site to tell them what a fabulous stylist she was.

Then she left.

My next hair cut was something out of a picture book of 30 something moms trying desperately to look hip and failing in a big way.  I made it almost 2 months worth of growing out before I called up a mom from school to see if she could fix my mess. She did and I've stuck with her ever since.

Well, today Husband surprised us all by asking Bitsy if she'd like to get her hair cut.  We had a funeral to attend but he told her we'd follow it up with a trip to Smart Style to have her hair cut. I've been pushing for the cut since I went back to work and Bitsy has shown up at school most mornings looking like we don't own a hair brush.  It's not Husband's fault. He doesn't do pony tails or braids and her baby fine hair tangles so easily that a thorough brushing doesn't last long.  I wanted a chin length bob but Dad would only go as far as the collar bone.

This is what we ended up with:

Yup. That's how they sent my daughter out the door.

And I missed it.

She had on a dark dress with a collar. I had 3 other kids and a husband who were tired of waiting around. Bitsy wasn't truly talking so I wasn't sure if she was OK with having her hair short or not.  I did a cursory check and noticed there were a few wild hairs but that's to be expected when someone is cutting a 5 year old's hair. I tipped the stylist $2 on a $11 bill (I never ever do not tip my stylist) and headed home.

It wasn't until I was putting her in the bath that I noticed just how bad it was.

I wet her hair down, plopped her on the bar stool, and proceeded to fix it myself.

 The floor after I cut another 1/2 to 1 inch off her hair. Glad we went with the initial length near her collar bone or there wouldn't have been enough to fix. I trimmed tiny bits off at a time hoping to avoid taking off too much more. It could not be avoided.

 The back of Bitsy's hair after I fixed it.  As soon as I took this picture I sent an email to Smart Style's corporate head quarters telling them just how dissapointed I was in their stylists. I told them I doubted that they bother to check the quality of their stylists work. My guess is if you're licensed and willing to put in your hours, they'll hire you.

Bitsy's thrilled with the finished product. Personally, I think I did a pretty decent job if I do say so myself.  I'm happy for her.  Husband will have less of a battle in the mornings.  That's all that really matters.

Smart Style will never part me with my money again.

Struggling

When 9/11 happened I was scared.  I went to my grandma's and eventually I turned off the news and just played with BabyGirl who was only a few months old.

This time around things are different.

This time my heart is broken in a totally different way.  This has scared me like no other incident.

I'm having a much harder time wrapping my mind around what happened on Friday than I did when those planes crashed 11 years ago.  That was an attack, an act of war, of terrorism.  I can grasp a militant Muslim group hating our country so much that they would attack civilians by the thousands.  I cannot grasp what would drive a young man to shoot 20 small children in cold blood.  I cannot grasp the loss and heart ache the parents and siblings and grandparents of those babies are feeling.

I cannot seem to step away from this.  I cannot distance myself.

Is it because I work in a school building?  Is it because the children are similar in ages to mine?  Is it because one of the little girls looks eerily like Bitsy?  Is it simply because I am a mother?

I told BabyGirl about it tonight.  I didn't want her to learn about it at school and be totally unprepared.  She knew there had been a shooting but didn't know any details.  A few minutes later she said, "Why would people do something like that?"  I hate giving her an answer that sounds like a cop-out.  "I don't know, Honey.  I really don't."  I'd like to tell her he was sick.  I don't know that.  I'd like to tell her he didn't know what he was doing.  The evidence seems to point elsewhere.

When I started work this year we were all given a hand book of sorts telling us the procedures for emergencies.  What to do in case of a fire.  What to do in case of a tornado.  What to do in case of ice, earthquake, storms, etc.  When I turned a page and began reading what to do in case of a terrorist incident or in case of an intruder, my stomach flipped and I went ice cold.  I know we have to have such procedures in place, but the idea that they're necessary breaks my heart.

Oddly instead of being more lenient with the FarmHands in light of the tragedy, I find myself much more short tempered and out of sorts.  I feel guilty when I'm angry at them.  I feel guilty disciplining them. I feel guilty because I didn't hug them all tight as soon as they stormed the doors on Friday.  I feel guilty because all I want to do is climb into bed and not get out any time soon.

When suicide and depression rates sky rocketed after 9/11, I didn't understand.  The attack upset us all, but how many were actually affected in their every day lives?  How many actually lost loved ones?  How many lived through those horrors first hand?  But now I understand.  I understand how a tragedy that in no way figures into your daily life can break you into little pieces.  I'm not saying I'm suicidal or even depressed.  I'm just saying I'm struggling.

But in my struggles I'm also praying.  I'm praying protection down upon our children and our schools.  I'm praying for comfort for families that will never again be whole.  I'm praying peace on the minds of children who've witnessed horrors no one should ever witness.  I'm praying God will draw us closer to Him in the wake of the unspeakable.

Entitled

OK.  I'm on a rant and will totally forgive you if you choose to go elsewhere and read something peppier.  Consider yourself warned.

I am a mom of 4 grade school children.  I despise homework.  I have spent hours upon hours wrestling over math problems, arguing Grammar with a 9 year old, searching text books for answers to questions even I don't grasp.  That being said homework is part of our lives.  I don't like it but I deal with it.

I just read/watched a blog about opting out of homework for your child.  You can check it out if you like: http://blogs.babble.com/babble-voices/roadside-assistance-kristen-howerton/2012/09/05/can-i-opt-my-kids-out-of-homework/  (Yup, I'm too tired to link it prettily in HTML tonight.)

Maybe it's the fact that I work in a public school (and believe it or not, the kitchen deals with may of the same issues as the class room) or maybe it's the fact that I've been fighting the homework battle for 6 years  or maybe it's the fact that I'm sleep deprived, but this really struck a nerve with me.

Saying my kid doesn't have time for homework because my husband and I both work and we have to make it to music lessons and sports practices and dance class makes me angry.  If lessons and practices and classes are interfering, perhaps your child is over involved.  Perhaps school is enough.  And as a former SAHM, my current work status has nothing to do with my kids ability to finish their homework.  They're home the same amount of time whether I'm at work or not.

Saying I don't want to be "that mom," but I really don't think homework is necessary for my child automatically make you "that mom."  Anytime you march into your child's class room & demand your child be treated differently from the other 24 kids in the room without seriously good cause (such as a learning disability), you are being "that mom," and you are announcing that your child does not need to follow the rules.

Saying my child is at school for 7 hours a day- if teachers can't get it taught in 7 hours they must not be doing their jobs only shows you have no clue what goes on in a public school on a daily basis.  Do you have any idea how much time is spent dealing with behavior issues? Bathroom breaks?  Lunch?  Recess?  PE? Music?  Library? Sharpening pencils? Repeating already given instructions? Blowing noses?  Simpy getting 25 kids to change from one task to the next?  If in a 7 hour day, 4 hours of actual teaching is accomplished, I'd say they had a pretty good day.

When reading the comments on the blog I came across one that said this really is a first world problem.  We are so entitled that we go looking for things to complain about.  I can promise you that 50 years ago no parent would ever have asked a teacher to allow their child to "opt out" of homework.

I'm sorry, but your child is not special.  My children are not special.  They are all kids.  They are all going to grow up to be adults.  They are all going to work for a living.  They are all going to have bad days, horrible bosses, and bills to pay.  It's part of life.  It's not all of life.  If they don't learn to deal with unpleasant tasks when they're children and adaptable, how are they ever going to deal with them as adults?

Rant over- for the moment.  Good night.

Dearest Readers,

Rage is bubbling up in me once again. I can feel the anger seeping out my pores. It's like a festering boil that I can't help but poke over & over & over again. I am on the verge of smearing it all over my clothing & reveling in the hideousness of it all. I feel the need to shoot something but it's raining & dark & I'm all out of aerosol cans (they're the most rewarding of the scrap metal targets).

Instead, I would really like a bit of a pick me up. Let me rephrase that- I really need someone to yank me up out of this pit of loathing I'm currently holed up in & make me laugh whether I like it or not.

Please, Readers Dear, make me laugh.

Excuse me?!

OK, I know that the comment box on blogs is a really great place for folks to leave advertisements for their crap. Mainly link sharing, the occasional porn site, and lots of odd junk. Normally it irritates me, I delete them, and I move on. But this one? Yeah. This one has gone too freaking far.

"Hi FarmWife, Nice blog you got here! try visit my new post: Blog SEO Tutorial: How to Choose the Best Title For Post. I hope you will learn something from it. Have a great day! " From: hapi

Not terribly offensive, I grant you, but this is the post "hapi" chose to leave his/her comment on: We'll Sing & Shout the Victory. Yup. You guessed it. The post in which I announced the death of my husband's grandmother. I haven't deleted the comment yet because I fear people will think I'm making this up. Couldn't if I tried, folks.

Now that's class.

All right, folks, I'm getting a bit pissed off.

If my husband and the folks he worked with decided to start bickering over how to do their jobs do you think it would be allowed to continue? No way. If they caused the company to go so far over budget they might never get back in the black and brought production to a grinding halt, you can bet your sweet butt that they'd all be canned. No questions asked. No second chances. But our government? Nah, they can do what ever they please.This is ridiculous. I'm seeing this post all over Facebook today: Dear Mr. President, I hear you would like to freeze pay rates for soldiers starting next year. Would you also consider cutting your own pay to save more money for our country? While you're at it, lets cut down all congressman's pay too. If the people who risk their lives don't get an increase in pay, why should we continue raising pay for those who take no risks and reap the benefits? REPOST if you support troops. Can't say I disagree. Another friend posted the following: ... if Planned Parenthood were really the great organization that so many people claim it to be, it should have no problem securing private funding so that it can remain open...low-income women aren't the victims here. it's the entire nation. both sides are pointing at the other, but that's just what they want us to do. if those responsible for budgeting in the private sector kept the budget in the red year after year, they'd be fired. or not paid. the people should be clamoring for a refund for their tax dollars from ALL elected officials. none of them should have been paid since October 1. including the president. I am honestly floored by the mere mention of the military pay being suspended while our government officials bicker like a bunch of preschoolers. You cannot tell me that a congressman sitting in a plush chair in a huge office deserves his pay on time while my cousin's husband will have to wait for his pay while he fights in Afghanistan. You want my two cents? Here it is. All members of government should have term limits...none of this 14 terms in office crap. No sitting as a judge until Alzheimer's has so addled your brain that you function like a 6 year old. No one should hold the same elected position for 30 years. No one. If it's your job to vote on bills or laws or anything at all, you darn well better show up and vote. No walking out. No skipping votes. No playing hooky. You were elected to govern our country. You're being paid to do so. Now do it. I think any congressman or senator who chooses not to vote on a bill should immediately lose his position. We have to do our jobs. You'd better do yours. As for this lovely practice of hiding riders in legislation...STOP IT!! It's dirty. It's underhanded. It should be illegal. If you want to pass a measure, write a bill about it. Do not hide it in another one that is totally unrelated. And stop this "if you don't pass my bill, I'll veto yours" crap. Grow up. NASA, Planned Parenthood, government funded arts programs, and other non-essentials, I'm sorry, but in the current economic conditions, you need to fund yourselves. If we cannot pay our troops and cannot take care of the people living on social security, we don't need to be pouring billions of dollars into space exploration, government funded abortions, or art exhibits. If we are in such a horrible fiscal place, why are we spending millions and millions of dollars on a war in Lybia? If there are no plans to get rid of Qaddafi (and can we please come to a consensus about how we're spelling his name?!), what's the point in being there? Can NATO not handle this one without us? Why are we there in the first place? If it's for humanitarian reasons, I'm positive we can find ways to help people in this country without sending our men & women to die overseas. I'm all for fighting for our own protection or for protecting the truly un-protected, but how do we justify borrowing money we cannot repay to fight a war half way around the world when folks are starving to death right here? Boys & Girls on Capitol Hill, if you don't do your jobs, don't expect to be paid...and I don't mean "if you are affected by the shut down." I mean, do not allow a shut down to occur or do not expect to be paid. Period. This is your job. Do it. I know that the term Shut Down is being used in the very loosest sense of the words. I know this is going to effect state parks and non-essential workers the most, but it still makes me very angry.