As if the game show wasn't enough to put me in my place, BabyGirl is officially a fifth grader. Every time I've watched AYSTA5thG I've thought, "That's insane! There's no way there teaching that in the 5th grade." Well, I'm here to tell you- I was wrong. So very wrong.
This week's Social Studies question: Explain each item & tell how it relates to free enterprise- economy, profit, supply & demand, import & export, consumer.
Whaaa?
Um....yeah...Free Enterprise...I know this one...it's....it's when....does it have something to do with Star Trek?
Science question: Name a group of organisms of only one kind that can interbreed in nature.
I am so gonna' fail 5th grade.
Luckily BabyGirl seems to have a better grasp on cellular structure and the ins & outs of Free Enterprise. Maybe she can tutor me.
In the meantime, I'm totally kicking first grade math's butt. Need 6's & 7's written on a dotted line? I'm your girl. Need a 3 blocks colored out of a row of 10? I can handle that. Need the shape on the right circled? Give me a second to think about which side is the right & which is the left & I'll get it done.
Third grade homework, thus far, hasn't given me too much trouble, but I know that time is coming. Soon there will be science where I'll get tangled in a sea of simple machines. And Social studies where the branches of government will reduce me to a mindless blob on the steps of the capitol building (distinguished from the other mindless blobs on Capitol Hill only by my sweat pants and t-shirts as opposed to their Italian silk pin-stripes).
Perhaps I should rethink my current goal of going back to school so I can be a teacher's aid. Most teachers (and parents for that matter) would much rather have someone proficient in multiplication and basic grammar...not a mathematically challenged ellipse addict.
But on a positive note- I sure can read!
1 comment:
Maybe see if they will hire you as a living "this is your brain, this is your brain without constant homework" example where you can motivate them and show them that yes, fifth graders are smarter than we are as our brains have been fried by years of diapers, cooking, mopping, and having little time to review how government branches work let alone vote. Oh, and the last time I used math more complex than figuring out how to double fractional amounts in a recipe? I have.no.idea. My trigonometry teacher was sadly mistaken. I can't even remember what Trig is other than one of Sarah Palin's offspring.
And the scary thing.....I used to TEACH fifth grade. No one tells you that your brain comes out with the placenta when you give birth, but I'm pretty sure that's what happened.
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