December 5, 2010

And Deliver us from Christmas Vacation.....

I'm terrified. My phobia does not revolve around spiders, heights, or snakes. It's entirely hinged on the idea of my children being stuck in my house for 2 weeks at Christmas break.

You see, they've lost their ever lovin' little minds. They've spent the last few weeks trying to kill each other. Everyone hates everyone else. No one ever does anything wrong. Every bad thing is someone else's fault. The thought of having them all in the house 24 hours a day for 2 weeks is daunting.

Every morning, Bitsy and I get the kids up, get them ready, and drop them at school. Then Bitsy, Husband, and I have a fairly quite day. Husband sleeps. Bitsy watches Max & Ruby. I do my chores, surf the web, read, catch up on Criminal Minds, or nap on the couch. The only time we argue is when Husband tries to kiss me & Bitsy must intervene ("No! My Mommy! No kiss my mommy!").

When the bus pulls up at a few minutes after four, the peaces is promptly shattered. Three kids scream their way up the drive way and into the house leaving a wake of shoes, jackets, back packs, and lunch boxes behind them. They each have a shoe box and a coat hook that they always seem to forget about. The next hour is spent arguing over snacks, homework, candy, who touched whom, and anything else they can think up to fight about.

I'm wondering how much a full time Nanny would cost us over the holidays. Or some kind of seasonal boarding school for delinquents. Or even an ex-Marine drill Sergent. Yeah, I like that last idea a lot.


Kork said...

I put a call into Erme (you know, the drill sargent from the Geico commercial? yeah - him) to see if he's free for Christmas for you. I'll keep you posted.
In the meantime, I suggest you invest in LOTS of alcohol, sleeping pills and duck tape. Who gets which option is Dealer's Choice!

Praying for a mild Christmas break so they can be shooed out of doors for copious amounts of time!

FarmWife said...

Is that the guy who yells, "Jack Wagon!"? I love him! Husband has taken up calling everyone Jack Wagon. :)