December 16, 2009

An open letter to Santa, from Bitsy.

Dear Santa Clause (or Hohoho as you are more commonly known 'round these parts),

Thank you so much for coming to see my kids in their Christmas program at school last night. But in the future, there are things you should be aware of. First of all, sit down so we can sit on your lap & tell you what we want. It's a bit of a let down when I've been crying at my mother for 20 minutes while she's trying to gather up my siblings & their coats, that I want to come see you & all you do is tower over me & offer me a candy cane. Don't get me wrong, I love candy. You can give me all the candy you want (as long as you don't ask my mom about it first)...but there were important things we needed to discuss.

And considering the fact that I'm currently on speaking terms with...well...no one, that's a really big deal. Unless you've been an intimate part of my life for the past 2 years, I'm not going to come near you, except for you, Santa. For you, I'll break away from my mother & tear through a sea of very tall strangers just to catch a glimpse.

By the way, if you're going to come hang out at school for the Christmas program, you really should just stick around until you absolutely must go back to the North Pole. A few days at least. It's really disappointing to bring my kids to school the next morning & find you're not there. I was really looking forward to seeing you this morning. My mom was confused when I got upset. She didn't know I was expecting to see you. Give the lady a break. She's had a rough week.

I've been a really good girl this year. Well, at least I think I have. You really should take into consideration that "good" is a relative term when you're 2 1/2 years old. I try. I don't hit...often. I don't bite...hard. I occasionally do what I'm told. Hey, I potty trained myself way earlier than anyone expected. Shouldn't that count for serious Santa Points? It counts for Mommy Points & she has more experience in this area than you do.

That being said, here's my Christmas wish list: I want a Cinderella drink, Tinkerbell panties, and Ray-ray boots. If your elves aren't familiar with these items, you can find all of them at Wal-Mart...or just send the money to my mom & she'll pick them up for you.

I hope you have a safe trip this Christmas. And if we're not here when you come by, just leave the presents under our tree. We're going to Grammy & Pa's, but we'll be home soon. In fact, you may want to drop off our gifts early. It'll lighten your load on the big day.

Love,
Bitsy FarmHand

1 comment:

Lavender Luz said...

Dear Bitsy,

Thank you for behaving so well and for making Santa feel welcome.

If you could find a way to spike a Cinderella drink for Santa, I am certain he would be able to accommodate your list.

Love,
Chief Elf