April 4, 2010

How to build a wooden play structure for your children in a few simple steps.

  1. Have a baby & decide to move to the country.

  2. Move to the country & have 3 more babies.

  3. Clear out a place in the woods next to your house.

  4. Put horse in the woods.

  5. Wait a few years.

  6. Buy goats.

  7. Put goat pen in the woods.

  8. Wait 3 to 4 years.

  9. Move goats.

  10. Assemble play structure (*see note).

See, it's really not that hard. It only takes 7 years & your kids will love you for it....if it ever gets finished (*really, you need to read the note). Eventually you can take pictures of it to post to your blog & send to the Queen Mother & Pa who purchased the play structure for their Grandchildren.


Note: I want to know exactly who's job it is to put the time estimates on build-it-yourself play sets. Then I want to show up at their house, bang on the door until they either agree to talk to me or call the police & take out a restraining order.


I want to know a few things. How exactly do you come up with the assembly time for this structure, of 6 to 8 hours for 2 people? Did your 2 people major in play set construction in college? Do they have double doctorates in it? Can they read each other's minds therefore skipping any and all need for communication? Do they each have 2 power drills for their own personal use so they don't have to switch out between the counter sinking drill bit & the phillips head screwdriver? Are there personal assistants for each assembler to hand them things, steady the ladder, and sort parts? Or do they have some kind of telekinetic powers that aid in construction? I know you don't figure in potty breaks or time to eat, but I guess that's far too much to ask.

For the record, we're 2 days in & on step 23 (I think) of 48....not including the slide. I don't even want to know how many steps that's going to take. Grant it, Husband has done 90% of the work himself & following the directions as printed is not difficult, but 6 to 8 hours could only be accomplished by members of the X-Men team or a full work crew from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

2 comments:

Daddy and Mama Brown said...

My sister in law bought one of these at the local discount warehouse. Same thing...2 people 6-8 hours. As they were leaving the store. One of the employees came up to them and said...a buddy of mine and I can delivery it and put it together for $100. They agreed...and it took them exactly 8 1/2 hours to put it together. They had apparently put several together! :) Good luck! Happy Easter friend!

Brando said...

We have something similar, and it was 3-4 days with about 4 very intelligent people. Each peice was individually labeled, and where were all of the labels??? Well they got hot and fell off in the bottom of the 6 boxes.

It was fun times!!