I've been having a somewhat tough Easter Sunday. Everyone's cranky. Everyone's argumentative. I'm irrationally irritated. No "Easter Songs" were sung this morning at church. I heard little to none of the sermon because of the newly instigated practice of Family Sunday (no children's church one week a month) & my children's desire to do anything but sit still & listen. Things have not gone as I thought they should. And left-over pizza leaves much to be desired in the way of Easter dinner in my mind. Truth be told, I'm a bit homesick for my childhood today.
I want to wake up to pink bunny tracks leading from my bedroom door to where our Easter baskets are waiting. I want to sit & fidget while QM takes my hair out of the sponge rollers I slept in last night. I want to wear my new dress, white patent leather Mary Janes, white kid gloves, and my new straw hat to church. I want to set with my entire family & sing "Were You There." I want to smile to myself as QM tried not to cringe when we sing "Up From the Grave He Arose." I want to listen to Daddy sing Watch the Lamb while G'ma M&M tries not to cry too much.
Then I want to have a big family dinner at G'Ma M&M's after church. I want to try to peek out the lace curtains in G'ma's living room while Daddy, Uncle M, and Uncle Greenteeth hide eggs out in the yard. I want to tear out into the yard with Inkling and her Younger Brother 1977 to look for the "hard to find eggs" while Mama & Aunt Silverbelle & Aunt D help the little kids find the ones hidden in plain sight.
I want to remember why we're celebrating today. I want to rest assured in my salvation. I want to feel wrapped in the arms of my Lord. I want to know that my Redeemer Lives. I want my children to know for a fact that this day has little to do with plastic eggs & chocolate bunnies & everything to do with the Lamb of God.
I had to choose to celebrate Christmas last year. Easter may take the same amount of work this year. I wish that wasn't the case, but fact of the matter is, this is my truth today. I'd love to get to a place where these things are not struggles for me.
Until then, I will leave you with a bit of my memory & pray that you would be blessed by it & by the God of Peace.
They led us to Golgotha,
They drove nails
deep in His feet and hands,
Yet upon the cross I heard Him pray
Father, forgive them.
Oh, never have I seen such love
in any other eyes,
Into thy hands I commit my spirit
He prayed and the He died,
I stood for what seemed like years,
I'd lost all sense of time
until I felt to tiny hands
holding tight to mine,
The children stood there weeping,
I heard the oldest say,
Father please forgive us,
the lamb ran away.
What have we seen here,
There's so much
that we don't understand,
So I took them in my arms,
And we turned and faced the cross,
Then I said dear children
watch the lamb.