And the Winner is......

A Starry Night!!

And I promise, the contest was not fixed. I plugged the numbers into random.org and it spit out #3. #3 being A Starry Night's comment.

"First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it." Amen.

Blogsplosion and the Last Crusade Dreadfully Ever After

It is here, again, my dear readers. The third instalment of Blogsplosion hosted by our friends at Quirk Classics! These are the days I blog for: days full mayhem, zombies, ninjas, classic mash-ups, and free books. And this time around I'm going to pass the fun on to you all!

If you'll remember, last year I blogged about Android Karenina and my darling mother won a prize pack from Quirk Classics full of literary goodies. (A prize pack I got to delve into and enjoy the Quirk!) This time around, there are prizes from far & wide....Far being Facebook and Wide being here on the Farm. But first, you must allow me to wax poetic about zombies (a much easier task than waxing poetic about head lice).

In P&P&Z: Dawn of the Dreadfuls, Mr.Steve Hockensmith introduced us to the strange plague ravaging England. Something unknown had caused the dead to rise from their graves in search of human flesh. A once respectable family named Bennett was soon, much by necessity, made to take up arms against hordes of Unmentionables changing the lives of the 5 daughters of Mr. Bennett forever.

In P&P&Z, we read of the exploits of the warrior tribe of Bennett sisters and their on-going search for suitable husbands. In the end, Miss Elizabeth Bennett found her match not only in love, but in combat as well. She and Mr.Fitzwilliam Darcy were wed much to the chagrin of The Great Lady Catherine de Bourgh, aunt of the groom.

In the third installment of this classic love/zombie story, we learn of the horrible effects of this strange plague when Mr.Darcy himself falls prey to a stray Unmentionable. As Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After continues, Lizzy is faced with the nearly unbearable and yet only acceptable course of action: to promptly behead her dear husband. But before she follows through, she discovers there may be a chance to save her true love. But can she do what is necessary to save Fitzwilliam from this fate worse than death?

I have to say, even with something as tragic as the thought of Mr.Darcy being defiled, I loved this book. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats. No, wait, that's something else.

I really did enjoy it. For those of you who may be Austin purists, set aside your preconceived notions and read it just for larks. It's worth it. It in no way has spoiled the love I have for the original Un-zombiefied version. It's all apples and oranges to me. Think less classic-literature-adulterated and more zombie-books-risen-to-new-heights.

As the back cover blurb says, P&P&Z: Dreadfully Ever After brings the story to a thrilling conclusion complete with romance, heartbreak, martial arts, cannibalism, and an army of shambling corpses. Chocked full of surprises (you've always wondered what was to become of Mary Bennett, haven't you....or just how long Wickham and Lydia could make their scandalously patched up marriage work), Dreadfully Ever After does not disappoint.

Now, for the goodies. For one lucky reader, I have a copy of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After to give away. Just leave a comment on this post and at the end of the week, say Friday night, I will draw a name. Then (hopefully in a much more timely manner than when I sent Brando Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters) I will dispatch the book to your mail box. Excited yet?

As if that were not enough, pop on over to Facebook and click "like" on the new Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After page and you will be entered to win one of eight Zombie Antidote necklaces! Now I know you're excited!

Get to clicking folks, but more importantly, get to reading!

I fear I am in love with another man.

His name is Eric. He works for Quirk Publishing. And he sends me free books. Shhhh, don't tell FarmBoy. I'm not sure he could handle the shock. Besides, I've already crushed him twice this weekend by pointing out that his legs and fingers aren't what one would call long. I'd hate for him to find out I'm secretly pining for a man who works with literature.

If you've been here for any length of time, you may recall that I've been involved with the folks at Quirk Classics for the past year or so. I've had the opportunity to read advanced copies of Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls and Android Karenina for their Blogsplosion events. Just last week I got my newest book in the mail: Pride & Prejudice & Zombies: Dreadfully Ever After. *happy sigh*

I will tell you more about it on the twenty-second of this month.

The day after I finished reading it, another package arrived in the mail....a second copy with a small bonus. I've decided the second copy will be a Blogsplosion Give Away (contain yourselves, folks). But the small bonus was what really piqued my interest.

It was a small booklet with an odd photograph of a little girl on the cover. As I am a sucker for old photos, it immediately made me forget about the housework that lingered and the lunch I should have been cooking for Husband. Instead I flopped down on the living room floor and dug in.

Much to my chagrin, I soon realized that this was not the full book. No, those horrid people at Quirk Books had send me an advanced copy of the first few chapters. Just enough, as I told Eric, to reel me in like a herring. Now I feel I am flopping around on deck waiting for someone to toss me back in the brink.

Luckily, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (as the book is titled) is set to be released in June and that lovely man, Eric, has promised to put my name on the list of folks needing to review it. Yes, I said needing.

This may be the beginning of a beautiful friendship....and my new career as a literary critic. I can so do this...as long as no one expects me to follow general rules of grammer or be able to spell.

Blogsplosion 2: Electric Boogaloo Android Karenina

Once upon a time, I lived for Zombies. Now I'm all about Steampunk. Yes, you'll soon see pictures of me all over facebook in full Victorian garb complete with corset & bustle, packing heat, accompanied by my own personal android. And what has brought on this turn about, you might ask? Leo Tolstoy. Well, Leo Tolstoy and Ben H. Winters. OK, Leo Tolstoy, Ben H. Winters, and Quirk Classics.

You may remember my waxing poetic over a few past works from Quirk Classics: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters, and Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls. Much to my delight, their latest Monster Mash-up is that much beloved (almost) classic Android Karenina. Ahhhhh....all the tragedy of the original Russian romance Leo Tolstoy delivered to us in Anna Karenina, plus all the robots, aliens, and political intrigue you've always wanted.

Mr.Winters, co-author with Jane Austen, of Sense and Sensibilities and Sea Monsters, teamed up with Ol' Leo this time around to give Anna Arkadyevna a liberal sprinkling of Steampunk. I was over the moon when I heard Mr.Winters was part of Q.C.s newest project. I adored what he did with S&S, so in my mind he could do no wrong with Anna. I am pleased to say, Mr.Winters did not disappoint.

To be entirely honest and up front about this all, Quirk Classics sent me the book a few weeks ago for free. The only strings attached were that I read and blog about my feelings on the book as well as toss in a few links (which I'll get to in a moment) for my readers. I'm all about free books. Especially free books I might actually enjoy. And enjoy I did. Win-win, folks!

And since I'm in the midst of this outpouring of honesty, I'll also tell you I have never actually read the original Anna Karenina. Sorry. But as soon as I dug into Android Karenina, I called the Queen Mother (all hail The Queen Mother) and asked to borrow one of the many versions of the movie she owns on DVD. She brought me the BBC version filmed in 1977. If it follows the BBC's literary movie tradition, it was probably very accurate. I really think Tolstoy missed the mark with his original concept. There was always something missing. Sure, it has adultery, emotional melt downs, morphine, madness, and a healthy dose of political commentary, but what it was really missing was robots. Robots and aliens. Robots, aliens, and interplanetary travel. Mr.Winters has fixed that nearly fatal flaw.

I believe we can now set aside the worn out issue of Team Edward or Team Jacob and ask ourselves a new, more pressing question: Team Karenin or Team Vronsky?

And now for you, my darling readers, a chance to win free stuff!! Whoo-hoo! Let's hear it for swag!

If you are at all interested in more of the quirky fun our friends at Quirk Classics have put together for us, you might want to check out this: a chance to win one of 25 Quirk Prize Packs, each with a retail value of nearly $100. Each pack will include:

• Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls by Steve Hockensmith



• How to Survive a Horror Movie by Seth Grahame-Smith



• Dracula's Heir: An Interactive Mystery by Sam Stall



• Extreme Encounters by Greg Emmanuel



• How to Tell if Your Boyfriend is the Antichrist by Patricia Carlin



• an Android Karenina poster



• and more!

Enjoy...and let me know if you win. It will give my ego a bit of a boost.

Envelope Please.....

And the winner of the First Ever Memoirs of a FarmWife Bloggy Give-Away is...........

Brando!

(Applause)

Congrats to Brando who's name was drawn out of an old sour cream tub by Bitsy just a few moments ago. I figured that's about as random as you can get. I hope you enjoy your prize as much as I did! Now to get it to you.....

Swimming, snacks, and sea monsters

Last night, Art told me October makes her think of warm soup, warm sweaters, and nights curled up in a blanket watching movies or reading a good book. Apparently, to Husband, October means swimming. Burrrrr.

He had yesterday off, a rarity in our world, so we took the FarmHands to the closest YMCA to spend some family time in the indoor pool. I know that room was heated & I know the water is heated...but it was COLD! Bitsy & I didn't last long, about 45 minutes. Husband & the older FarmHands made it about an hour & a half before they gave in & hit the (very warm) showers. In fact, we had to almost drag BabyGirl out of the pool, but I don't think her internal thermostat works properly. Maybe we should take her to see Inkling's pediatrician.......

After swimming, the FarmHands wanted, of all things, ice cream. They aren't quite right, our children. Instead of hitting up the DQ drive-thru, we decided to make a treat run to the grocery. It worked out nicely because we were at a store in a town we rarely go to. If we'd have been at our normal haunt, I would never ever hear the end of the things they'll need from now on.

We bought them all the junk we never let them get on a normal trip to the store. I got a plate lunch from the deli, the kids got a dozen assorted donuts. I got a Pepsi, they got individual bottles of milk. I picked up tortillas, they got a giant bag of assorted pouches of chips. We also came out with a package of iced sugar cookies from the bakery, a gallon of apple cider, banana twin pops, and dreamsicles. B.B. kept announcing, "I love this grocery store! We should come here more of the time! They have great things at this grocery store!" Little does he know, they have all the same stuff at Wal-Mart, I just never buy them....at least not in these quantities.

They had a wonderful time & were completely sugar shocked by bed time. They slept well, so I'm considering making this a weekly ritual....then again, maybe not.

***********

In other news, time is rapidly running out to enter the first ever FarmWife give-away to win your very own copy of Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters. All you need to do is leave me a comment in the post below (here) and spread the word a bit. Facebook, Twitter, email, blog...your choice. So far there are 4 ladies in the running. Those are pretty good odds.

Please don't feel you have to be a long time commenter/reader to enter, it's wide open. And if you don't want to leave a comment here, you can drop me a line at farmgirl (underscore) 1976(at) hotmail (dot) com, or write on my Facebook wall (if we're FB friends). Deadline is Monday night when ever I get the itch to draw a name, so get to it!

I feel pretty, oh so pretty....

A few days back, Ang from Get Fit by 40 gave me an award. I'm pretty sure that by now she thinks I've forgotten it or am snubbing her. I promise, that is not the case. I am always flattered when I get an award (even if I never get around to passing it back to anyone else...sorry). It's nice to know someone out there is listening reading.



I'm pretty sure one of the requirements for the award is that the recipient is supposed to post 6 unknown things about herself (himself if the blogger is indeed male...yes, I know that rare creature exists out there somewhere, they just avoid Memoirs like the plague...well, most do anyway). I'm not sure I can think of 6 things about myself that I've yet to share here, so forgive me if I repeat myself.

1. I was famous in grade school/middle school for telling "Family Stories" in class. I get this trait from my mother & she gets it from her father. It resurfaced later when I was working at the factory. I'm related to someone who's related to someone who knows someone who's done nearly everything imaginable & I have a story for it. I think mostly, I drove people crazy.


2. When I was a newly wed, I wanted to have two children. That's it, just two. I think I overshot that a bit.


3. I used to own a sugar glider named Vern. He screeched all night, bit me frequently, and peed all over everything. Eventually we gave him to friends who were much more nocturnal than we were.


4. When I was four years old, I told everyone I wanted to be a poisonous snake when I grew up. Today B.B. informed me that, "My brain told me I'm going to grow a stinger just like a wasp when I grow up, and wings like them, too. And it says I'll be able to run like them." Apparently it's genetic.


5. I had head lice most of the summer between fourth & fifth grade. I picked it up from the girl who lived across the street from us. That same summer (before we knew I was crawling with tiny, itchy friends), Bucka & Busha took me & 2 cousins to my Aunt & Uncle's in Florida by way of my Aunt & Uncle's in Tennessee. Somehow no one outside of my immediate family caught the little critters. Now, be honest- your head is itching, isn't it?
6. I was crazy in love with John Schneider when I was little....like 5 or 6 years old. Really, who could resist Bo Duke? QM even had his Christmas album & I'd listen to it over & over again. Bo Duke sings Rudolph...every little girl's dream.

And now to pass on my lovely award to six other lucky blogging ladies (see, guys, you should blog more & you might get pretty pink awards).

1. My new/old friend Mama Brown. We were acquaintances way back in the day (yeah, wouldn't you like to know more?) and have reconnected via Facebook (have I mentioned how much I love Facebook?) and blogs. You should check her out, it's a great read!
2. Sarah from This Mom's Wired, formerly known as The Mom Chronicles. You've gotta' love her Thursday Ten & getting updates on her guitar lessons. Makes me wish I had a musical bone in my body!
3. One more Sarah...this one from Ordinary Days. She married a man from Albania, was in the Army, has three boys & a girl on the way, homeschools, blogs, and makes me laugh with great regularity.
4. A Starry Night....not because she blogs or anything, but because I'm hoping to prod her into blogging by way of an award. She's going to be my cousin someday & I'm stoked about that....and she makes really cool looking flowers out of scrap fabric (I should ask her to teach me)....and she's writing her Senior Thesis (or something like that) on Jane Austen. So she pretty well rocks!
5. Mommy to Four Little People. What can I say? Whew! What this girl is going through right now is mind boggling....and she's so very honest about it all. Her blog is private, but if you ask nicely, she might let you in.
6. And finally, an awards ceremony isn't complete until I bestow one on my best friend in the whole wide world.....Art! It's always a party at her place & I wish I could spend more time there. But for now, all I can say is, "Christmas is coming, the Goose is getting fat!"

Thanks so much, Ang, for sharing the love! I think you're Gorgeous too!

And please, don't forget to scroll down and enter my first ever give-away! So far I've only got two entries, so they've got a 50/50 chance. Make it a little tougher on them, would ya'?!

Stick with me, eventually there's a give-away!!

If you've been snooping around the farm very long, you may have discovered my love for all things Jane Austen. I've read Pride & Prejudice once a year (at least) for the past 6 or 7 years...one year I read it three times. I own all of her novels, including the unfinished ones & the little known Lady Susan (so funny).


I tend to watch every movie ever made from her works...with the exception of Mansfield Park. (Really, why can Hollywood & the BBC not leave poor Fanny Price as she was written? She was not an outstanding feminist, she was not an aspiring writer...she was a morally upright young woman who looked boring next to her less than virtuous counterpart, Mary Crawford.) I have my favorite actors for each character....while Greer Garson was charming, I prefer Keira Knightly for making Lizzy seem more like someone you'd want to spend a girls' night out with. My favorite Mr.Bennett is Donald Sutherland, Mrs.Bennett-Mary Boland, Lady Catherine -Edna May Oliver, Mr.Bingley-Simon Woods.....and so on.


In short, I adore all things Miss Austen. I've even branched out into the world of not-quite-Austen with books & films like The Jane Austen Book Club, Bride & Prejudice (thank you, Bollywood), Lost in Austen (BBC), Bridget Jones's Diary, and Twilight (yes, there are some serious P&P undertones in Twilight). So when I saw Pride & Prejudice & Zombies on the book shelf at Wal-Mart, I couldn't resist...even though I rarely purchase books. I knew one of two things would happen, I'd revel in the silliness & adore it, or it would infuriate me. Either way, I couldn't pass it up, after all, parody is the sincerest form of flattery.



It was fantastic! The author took the original novel & tossed in zombies, ninjas, blood, brains, and sword wielding Bennett sisters. I laughed until my abs hurt.



I immediately became a fan of the novel & the publisher on Facebook. That's when I found out the publisher, Quirk Classics were planning more novels on the same thread. Next up? Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. I was excited, but honestly, not as sure about this one. Still, when it was available, I picked it up.



I think S&S&SM may have been even better than P&P&Z. Who knew the Dashwood sisters lived in constant peril from the denizens of the sea?

If you've stuck through this post to this point, you deserve a treat. Here it is: The First Ever Memoirs of a FarmWife Bloggy Give-Away!!! You read that right, Farmies. I'm going to give away something. More specifically, I'm going to give away a copy of Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters. You see, I won a copy on a Facebook contest a few weeks back (I'd like to tell you more, but that won't work with my whole anonymity thing I've got going on here) and since I already have a copy (that's at QM's house for you to read first, Art), I'm going to give this one to one lucky Memoirs reader.

Here's what I need you to do....Post a comment & spread the word. I was going to contrive a contest of sorts, but since this is my first give-away, I've decided to skip the work & head straight to the prize. Leave me a comment (on this post, please) and spread the word a bit...Blog, Twitter, Facebook, email, text message, town crier, what ever floats your boat. I'll give you a week; Monday night I will draw a name out of a hat (or some such thing) and that reader will get their very own copy of Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters.

On your mark, get set, GO!

Oh, and if this goes well, maybe I give away more Quirk Classics as they become available.