October 17, 2008

I really am the mom here, honest.

I have a question for all the parents of grade school kids out there. When you go to parent teacher conferences do you feel like a gigantic fake? Do you ever feel like you're only pretending to be the parent, that there's someone vastly more qualified out there to do your job? Like, say, your own mother?

Today was PTC at the kids' school. At 8:15 this morning I was sitting in front of Mrs.S's desk hearing all about BabyGirl. About 5 minutes into the conference, I had an almost overwhelming urge to say, "Can you wait a minute while I go get my mom? She can deal with this much better than I can. I'm not really a mom, I just play one on TV."

Both kids are making good grades & behaving themselves very well. But BabyGirl is having some fairly serious issues with reading comprehension, paying attention & focusing on the task at hand, and getting her work done. Mrs.S & I had a long talk about it & we both have a better understanding of BabyGirl & what needs to happen. She's getting extra help in reading for 30 minutes every day as part of Title 1. I spent 15 minutes with Mrs.M (the Title 1 teacher) discussing BabyGirl's reading & strategies for home.

I left feeling both reassured (that she's going to get the help that she needs) and depressed (that she needs extra help at all). Now I have to get past the idea that I've screwed up somehow leaving my child behind the pack. I also need to remember that BabyGirl will have to learn things at her own pace & that may not be the pace I'd like for her.

Oy. Can we have ice cream for dinner?


Inkling said...

In my panic induced state last night, for the first time, I could really identify with that whole idea. While I have oodles of experience with babies and children, who in their right mind is really going to let me take a tiny, helpless baby, strap him in a carseat that I probably don't know how to install correctly, and take him home? And while I can dress and bathe the little guys, am I really supposed to be that expert who knows that her child needs "6-9 month clothes in whatever season, and will be needing size whatever shoes for summer"?! When you're a nanny, the clothes are just in the closet, and you didn't have to do anything about getting them there. And someone else tells you the dosages to give them for meds, and when to feed them and put them to bed. But I'm thinking those responsibilities are all a part of being a mom.

Are we sure I'm ready for this?!

Brando said...

Hang in there! You are doing a great job. I can say this year has been a real struggle for us. Yuri is making probably the best grades in the entire class, so I am sure that there are other parents that are concerned. Just the volume of work is overwhelming.

I am sure that between you and the teachers you can work something out. We did alot of reading and then talking about the story.

Good luck!