January 15, 2008

My BabyGirl

Thank you all for your advice about BabyGirl. And please do not be offended when I say we've tried everything. Laid out clothes the night before. Given her a choice between 2 or 3 outfits. Let her have free reign in her closet. Picked out clothes for her eliminating all decision making on her part. Gotten her up earlier. Put her to bed earlier. Washed the same outfit 3 days in a row for wearing. Punishments. Rewards. Blatant bribery. Distraction. Wrestling. Lotion (to stop the itching). A humidifier (to stop the itching). Water (again...the itching). And it's all been to no avail.

Now the issue has spread to bedtime. She "can't sleep because [she's] itchy." She's itchy because she's "hot." And this isn't a slight itch here & there. It's a full blown, writhing, clawing, screeching kind of itchy. She insisted on having her sheets changed Friday night. I told her they had nothing to do with her issues, but after 30 minutes of screaming, I changed them to prove my point. You guessed it, I was right.

This is not a new issue by a long shot. It's only escalated recently. BabyGirl has never liked to wear clothes, but the past year or so she's condescended to wearing giant T-shirts around the house. Since New Years she refuses to wear even that. I've told her if she feels the need to be naked, she must be in her room, alone, with the door shut. She's too old to run around the house in the buff. That has not gone over well the past week or two. She claims any clothing at all makes her too hot & if she's hot, she itches. It can be 30 degrees & the kid says she's hot.

The thing that is so odd to me is that her "itching" turns on and off like a light switch. The day we went to Dairy Queen she screamed (and I mean SCREAMED) the entire 15 miles to town. I had to re buckle her seat belt 3 times (another hard, fast rule for me). When we parked she had pulled her clothes half off. Husband redressed her & got her out of the van. It was in the mid 20's that day (I think) and she was wearing a sleeveless short dress & loafers (that are 2 full sizes too big, but the only shoes she will wear...yet another issue with clothing). No shirt under the dress. No tights or socks. Nothing on her legs. All because she was "too hot to wear clothes." As soon as her feet hit the pavement, she was calm. When we got in the store she ordered her ice cream, sat calmly, ate it, shared with the boys, and with in minutes was complaining she was cold.

As soon as she's in public it all stops. She almost always settles down if anyone that doesn't live with us is watching. Very, very rarely does this carry over into the public arena. When she gets home from school, she's happy & calm. She never says she had serious problems at school. She's said she still itched at school, but it's not the tantrum itching that takes place here.

I am at my whits end. I really do not know what to do any more. I told Busha yesterday that I'm resigned to wrestling her into her clothes every morning. That's becoming a normal part of our lives. It's not something I'm happy about.

I love this kid more than anything. She's bright. She's loving. She's kind (when she puts her mind to it). She's funny. She's imaginative. She's determined & persistent. She's very smart. If we could deal with this issue everything else would seem mild.

Thank you for your prayers.


Ragged Around the Edges said...

Not a mom, but I can certainly understand loving someone very, very much. . . and them driving you nuts. Here's to peaceful clothes wearing at your household.

Brando said...

I am so sorry. You know this kinda sounds like my favorite BIL, you know him. He had some tactile (sp) issues with his socks and undies.

His mom said that he finally outgrew the fighting around 8 or 9.

I know that does not help now. Maybe try and google kids with tactile issues, and it will help.

Again, I am sorry.

Yin changes her clothes no less than 14 times each day. It is havic on the laundry as I don't know what is clean and dirty. I am going to get a Padlock for the closet.

Hang in there.

Kork said...

Praying hard for you...

I will assume that you've tried changing detergent/softener? I know a friend of ours had a similar issue with their son, and it ended up being an allergy to the detergent...

Of course, there are some odd things where children don't feel pain, and then they have trouble regulating their body temperature. Not sure if there is something beyond a "phase" with tactile issues or not.

I do know my 8 year old nephew flat out refuses to wear undies. Period. Not even boxers. Kid likes commando, what can I say. However...that doesn't solve the issue, but perhaps it will at least make you chuckle, or smile!

conleyclan said...

i understand what you mean when you say that you have tried everything. it took us 3 full years of potty training with elisha and we tried everything, so many people would give us advice and we would do it, like you we ran the list of stuff to do, broke every rule, followed every rule. finally just one day the switch was made in his mind and he did it. rick and i both were ready to kill him or ourselves just to have some relief from the situation!!! he even told his sunday school teacher when he had an accident at church "when my parents make a big deal out of it it makes me not want to try but when they handle it calmly it makes me want to try" the child was 4 at the time, i nearly killed him that night!!!

a wandering heart said...

All i can offer is hugs! :(

Nan said...

I'm definitely puzzled by this. Hugs here too.