Tantrum=Swimming?!

BabyGirl is having major issues in the morning lately. She'll get up, eat breakfast, brush her teeth, and then proceeded to have a total come-apart. Husband and I have to hold her down to dress her and he has to carry her from the house while she kicks and screams and tries to shed her coat and kick off her shoes in the driveway...even when it's below freezing. It's horrible. I've been reduced to tears at least once this week and screaming twice. The few days I've "kept my cool" (I use that term lightly), I've fought her until I was exhausted.

I've tried putting her to bed earlier. We've laid out clothes the night before. I've made special breakfasts. I've tried rewards. Punishments. Everything. We've bribed, cajoled, threatened, fought...I've nearly reached my breaking point. I wondered if something is going on at school, but I haven't gotten a straight answer from her. Her teacher hasn't noticed anything (but with 28 kids, I'm not surprised). We went through this earlier in the year (just before and just after Christmas) but things had improved. Now we're back to square one...or, more likely, we're not even on the board anymore.

Husband and I have very different ideas about how to deal with this. My philosophy is when being nice is no longer working, you stop being nice and start being the boss. His is to tease, joke, cajole, manipulate, and all around trick her into doing what he wants. This makes me crazy. When I have to deal with one of these tantrums...I don't. I say get in the van & she doesn't? I put her in the van. She wants to scream and fight and kick and flip out, that's what she does. My job is to get her to school on time. If she wants to go into the school acting like a mental patient, I don't care (I really do, it's very embarrassing and I don't want her ridiculed about it) but fact of the matter is, she'll stop. She always does. She's not stupid. She knows how she'd be treated if she went into school acting like that. She calms down in the van on the way...every time.

He has other methods. He wants her calm and settled. I understand why. This is the only time of day he sees her. He leaves for work before school is out and doesn't get home until well past bedtime. Yesterday during all of this, somehow it was decided we'd go swimming today. This was decided in the truck on the way to school when it was just BabyGirl and Husband. I was told when he got home.

So today we're going to the town where we used to live to swim at the YMCA/College pool. I figure we'll all freeze and someone will get sick. There will be fighting over putting on the bathing suits. There will be fighting over who takes who into the dressing room. There will be fighting over who gets to swim with daddy and who's stuck with mom. There will be fighting over when we have to get out. There will be panic (I can't find my suit!!!), hysteria (When are we leaving? Is it time to go? When does the pool open?), and total chaos (H: Everybody in the van... FW:Uh, dear, nothing is packed. H:Oh, well, get it ready and I'll load the kids up)before we get there, and I will be fed up before we leave the drive...but even faced with all this, I'm hoping we'll have a good time. Or at the very least, a short nap.