February 10, 2012

Taking dictation from Bitsy.

I have a grandma but now she's my kids' grandma.  I have 2 sons & 3 sisters.  The wolf at their grandma.  Oh no! The wolf ate my sons!  I bud-got (that's Bitsy for "forgot") to bring them home & the wolves ate them.  So Good-bye my grandma.  Now you my grandma, Mom. Oh, guys, her got some toys for you to play with.  I will get them for you.  You don't know how to do anything.  Now I cut the wolf in half and got my sons out.  Now I playing Red Riding Hood.  The story- Red Riding Hood (as opposed to what?)  I got my sons a lot of stuff because them gonna' get married.  I got them a license plate, but I only got one.  (Now she's singing what can only be described as Preschool Scat).  Oh, what is this?  I think I see someone I know.  2 people I know, actually (she's looking at a picture of our entire extended family).  Mom!  I see your mom-Grammy.  And Pa!  I see Pa.  And maybe also Daddy, too.  I'd better put that back.

HI!!! (The kids are walking in the door) Did you yous sucker?

     Now, imagine this going on for hours & hours & hours at a time & you've just gotten a brief look into the life of Bitsy.

Oh, and before I forget, Princess called me last night.  "You don't need to worry."

"OK.  That's good to know.  What am I not worrying about?"

"Your nephew's penis only shoots pee, not bullets."

"Thank you.  I've been worried about that for weeks.  How did you find out?"

"He announced it....very loudly....in the bathroom at Logan's Roadhouse."

"Well, wasn't that nice of him?"

Yup, that's HT in a nut shell.

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