November 18, 2011

You might live in the country if....



  1. Your children get out of school for "Deer Day" (a.k.a. the first day of shotgun season).


  2. You are sincerely surprised when someone moves in across the street from your aunt & uncle because, "No one lives around here but us."


  3. Having 20 rabbits in no way puts you in the Animal Hoarder category.


  4. Rubber boots are perfectly acceptable foot wear for going to the store.


  5. If you forget to pick up toilet paper during your grocery trip you give serious thought to rationing the remaining toilet paper until you have a "real" reason to drive to town.


  6. You haven't rented a video in years because you don't want to make an extra trip to town just to return it.


  7. You think nothing of leaving your curtains open all the time.


  8. You regularly walk to the mail box in your pajamas.


  9. You have accidentally taken a cat with you when leaving home (once or twice they've been inside the vehicle, but more often than not they've crawled up under the hood of your van).


  10. Raking leaves is a fools errand because no matter how long you rake there will still be so many leaves in your yard that all the grass is going to die. (OK, so that one only applies if you live in the country surrounded by woods.)


  11. You've had dial-up internet for 6 years with no plans (or possibility) of having anything faster anytime soon.


  12. Your kids don't know why they shouldn't play in the road.


  13. Your dogs run away on a daily basis but you never worry.


  14. "We're going to 4-H," is a reasonable excuse for missing family get-togethers.


  15. Skunks have ever made going outside impossible.


  16. Your dogs regularly drag deer bones into your yard.


  17. "Inside voices" means absolutely nothing to anyone in your household. (There is really no way we could EVER live in town much less in an apartment setting. The police would be called by neighbors on a weekly basis. We are LOUD.)


  18. Your kids don't know what a garbage truck looks like.


  19. You've ever taken your bathing suit off under your towel & hung it on the clothes line before going inside to change.


  20. Your husband has ever spent a full week digging & moving dirt to "fill in a washed out spot in the ditch."


  21. A 4-wheeler is a perfectly acceptable form of transportation to & from family gatherings & VBS meetings at church.


  22. You have your very own dusk-til-dawn light in the front yard.


  23. "Watch out- that fence is hot," is something you've said repeatedly to visitors.


  24. You've ever had to "haul water" from town in a giant tank in the back of your truck to water livestock/fill a pool/do laundry.


  25. You can lose your children or husband in your own back yard.


  26. A dinner bell has become a near necessity for calling said husband & children back to the house because even though you're louder than your average person, they still can't hear you call them in for the evening.


  27. Hair feathers had already begun to fall out of fashion before you ever saw one in real life.


  28. You've ever given serious thought to beginning a family cemetery in your own back yard when the time comes.


  29. Your husband has planted more than 20 trees in any 2 week period.


  30. Your corn plot for your summer garden takes up more room than most people have in their entire back yard.


  31. You will never need a smart phone because you'll never have more than 2 bars worth of signal in your own home.


  32. You don't have a library card because it would cost you $35 a year & the nearest library is only stocked with Mary Higgins Clark & Louis L'Amour books.


  33. Your kids had a tepee made from saplings & some tarps in their play yard for 2 years.


  34. You dream of water pressure & city sewers.


  35. A "quick trip to Starbucks" would involve an hour long drive- one way.


  36. You live less than 5 miles from the school but your kids ride the bus for more than 45 minutes- one way.


  37. The threat of snow can leave you trapped at home for days on end...and you don't live in the south (or Vancouver, BC).


  38. More than 5 cars driving past your house in less than an hour is reason to worry.


  39. A meth lab has been found in a woods less than a mile from your home...and in an abandoned house less than a mile from your house...and in an occupied house less than a mile from your house.....


  40. Part of your 5 year life plan involves "enlarging the pond" and "putting in a new culvert."

4 comments:

Kork said...

For all the "inconveniences" you may face, I still admit to being a tad bit jealous of some of the things you get that I will never get to have...

We do have a fox that lives somewhere in our backyard, but we admittedly live on a "large" lot of 1/3 acre...and our yard is massive compared to our friends and neighbors, but still...

sigh...the grass does seem greener some days

Queen Mother said...

I was looking into your past. What did you do with your school coats?

And, You might live in the country if you camp in the barn.

FarmWife said...

Mama, both of my school coats are tucked safely away in the back of my closet where Husband is not allowed to go (so he cannot get rid of them). For the record, I can still wear my Jr.High letterman jacket.

astarrynight said...

As for #8...Some people go to the mailbox in their PJ's...and some go out in their birthday suit ;)