September 29, 2010

Things I want to know.

I'd like to begin by saying to those of you who got a bit freaked out by yesterday's post, I warned you.

And now, for the questions I'd like answered:

  1. If someone has been married and divorced 3 times, why do they think time #4 will work out? When do you say enough is enough? And when do you give up & realize you've turned into Elizabeth Taylor?
  2. Does the Discovery Channel/TLC pay for all the doors the Teuttels destroy on American Choppers? Do they keep a stash of extra doors somewhere in the shop so they can quickly & easily replace a door when Paul Sr. puts his fist through one? Husband is convinced the producers provide them with extra doors to encourage this behavior.
  3. When does peer pressure kick in & make a child start wearing more appropriate clothing? BabyGirl is back to the one outfit that's OK to wear stage. It sucks. She's worn the same ratty outfit to school 3 days in a least. And I'm not joking when I say ratty. I told her teacher about the SPD a few weeks back so she would understand why BabyGirl shows up looking homeless on a regular basis. I promise, this child has clothes. Cute clothes. Clean clothes. Clothes with knees intact. She just refuses to wear them. Part of me is really hoping someone at school mentions her wardrobe to her & it prods her into changing things up a bit. Is it wrong for a mother to wish peer pressure on her children if it's for a good reason?
  4. Why Uncle Gick have big hands? This was actually Bitsy's question after we saw him at the gas station today. I told her it's because God gave him big hands. Why God give him big hands? Because He knew Uncle Gick would need them to do his work. Why him at that gas station? Because he was putting gas in that truck. Why him need gas in hims truck? So he could haul beans. Why him haul beans? It's his job. Why it him job? So you could ask me 500 more questions.
  5. How long will it take for my toe nail to grow back? When will I be able to wear shoes that are not Crocs again? When will I be able to walk like a normal person instead of hobbling around on my heel & the outside edge of my foot making my ankle & knee hurt like the devil?
  6. At what point are my kids going to be able to get themselves up & ready for school without being stood over & told what to do in detail at every step?
  7. Why are there 9 baby dolls laying prone on my kitchen & living room floor? Oh, wait, you don't need to answer that. I can hear the answer playing in her room.
  8. Why does the treatment for a missing toenail hurt almost as bad as the initial injury? OK, so that's a serious exaggeration. But it is not pleasant. I have to soak my foot twice a day in hot water with salt & Iodine then irrigate it with hydrogen peroxide before wrapping it in non-stick gauze with Neosporin. The salt & iodine bath isn't fun, but it's a walk in the park next to that hydrogen peroxide wash. Oh my giddy aunt, does that ever hurt!! (and no, that's not a question)
  9. When will corporate America wise up & institute nap time after lunch for all employees? Employees don't have to sleep, they just need 20 minutes of quite time to lay down & rest. It works for kindergartners. I think it would work for major corporations...and Capitol Hill. Maybe if they had nap time they'd quit doing stupid things like calling comedic news anchors to testify before congress & expecting them to take it seriously.
  10. I can't really thing of a tenth question....hmmm.....give me a minute....what's the first thing you know?


Sarah @ Ordinary Days said...

I love the way you think. And I totally agree on the nap thing!

Kork said...

Bwahahahahaha!! OK, if you really want answers to these questions, you totally asked the wrong person I'm wondering why my children wait until I'm in the midst of the phone call with the insurance company to have major meltdowns?

zann said...

I have no answers for you,but I can say that I've gained an new turn of phrase from you today. "Oh my giddy aunt!" will now be integrated into my everyday speech