September 20, 2010


If you want to read about something other than my current mental state, skip to the post just below this one & read about our painting project. I'm not promising it's interesting, but it is about something other than my mental issues.

The Ugly Beast has reared it's head yet again. No, I'm not delusional enough to think that depression will simply disappear. But it is easy to get lulled into a false sense of security. I've felt pretty decent the past few weeks. There have been a few tough days scattered here & there, but in all, things haven't been too bad.

Keeping busy has helped. I had a jewelry party & that meant some serious house cleaning and a bit of baking. Then we went to TN to visit QM & Daddy. Came home from that to nice weather & the opportunity to be out of doors more than normal.

Then last Thursday came a fabulous surprise: Diana came to see me. She was in TN visiting her family & has to pass my neck of the woods on the way home. She called me a little after lunch to let me know she was passing by. It was so nice to not only have some grown up company, but to have someone here who's known me nearly half my life & loves me anyway. Her arrival helped break up my mid-week cramp/headache/back ache fest and truly brightened my day.

Husband took the day off work Friday so we could belatedly celebrate B.B.'s 6th birthday. Saturday things started to fall apart. I was tired. I was cranky. I was done. And have been since then. Tossing paint (see post below) into the mix hasn't really helped.
I'm not thrilled with this revisit to funk town but part of me feel a bit vindicated because now I know it's not just something I had convinced myself of. Is that odd? I talk myself in & out of things far too easily. I convince myself that nothing is wrong or that something horrific is happening. I feared I had done the same thing with depression...and until I get to talk to the doctor I'm going to see I will probably teeter-totter on this issue more than once.

Until then, I shall play with Tagxedo and wait. And try to keep motivated & moving to stave off this Ugly Beast as much as possible.

1 comment:

Kork said...

I'm glad that you had some good days in there.

I just read an interesting article about how there are studies being done showing that people who suffer from depression have shown "marked improvement" when they consistently work out for 45 minutes, three times a week. I thought that was cool, but then wondered about people like me, or you, without access to a gym and/or personal trainer to get our sorry rear ends off the couch and make us sweat and elevate our heart-rates...

Anywho...I ALSO saw something nifty of one of the Discovery channels that was talking about how a diet in which one consumes food sources containing high amounts of calcium and Vitamin D can significantly lessen the impacts of PMS.

So good news! You can eat all the ice cream, yogurt, and cheese you want, drink all the whole milk you'd like, and THEN, to combat the depression, you can work it all off in the gym!

Seriously - I'm praying for you - that you'll have more good days between now and the appointment, and then, that you'll find out what's causing it, and be able to solve it quickly and easily with the solution that best fits you!!!

Sending hugs, and wishing I had some chocolate to send you...