July 1, 2010

Why do we bother?

When #1 Son was three years old, he decided to change his name to Larry-Boy. For months he would answer to nothing else. Eventually he grew out of it and went back to #1 Son. It didn't bother me too much. At least he didn't do what his Uncle Bubba did at the same age.

Bubba changed his name to Michael Jackson Finklestein (not our actual last name) when he was three (this was back when Michael Jackson's most controversial move was the crotch grabbing dance he was famous for). He refused to answer to the name our parents had so lovingly picked out for him. He introduced himself to everyone as Michael Jackson Finklestein. He went so far as to refuse to sing Jesus Loves Me in front of the church with his Sunday School class one morning. Instead, he snatched the microphone out of the stand & belted out Beat It...twice...until his teacher had to remove him from his spot by the mic. I thing Grandma M&M tried to hide under the pew that day.

Eventually, QM had enough and shut him on our enclosed porch until he'd tell her his real name. It went something like this:
Bubba- (knocking on door) LET ME IN!
QM- Who is it?
Bubba- IT'S ME! LET ME IN!
QM- "Me" who?
QM- I'm sorry, I don't know anyone by that name. You must be at the wrong house.
QM- Who are you?

It was very Alice in Wonderland.

Caterpillar: Who... are... you?
Alice: Why, I hardly know, sir. I've changed so much since this morning, you see...
Caterpillar: No, I do not C, explain yourself.
Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, you see, because I'm not myself, you know.
Caterpillar: I do not know.
Alice: I can't put it any more clearly, sir, because it isn't clear to me.

Eventually, Bubba caved and told QM his given name and was allowed entrance into the house.

Princess fell in love with a little boy named Billy when she was 3. She informed us that when they grew up, they would get married and her name would be Princess Billy. Eventually that morphed into Princess Ba-wiv-a-buff (a very odd mispronunciation of her middle name) Billy Willy Finklestein. To this day, we call her Bill.

Bitsy has followed in their footsteps. I've called her Bitsy Bee since she was tiny. Bee started off as a shortened version of her middle name, then turned into only the first initial of that shortened version (confused yet?). It stuck. Everyone calls her Bitsy Bee now. But this week, she's added to it. She has decided her name is now Bitsy Bee Coconut. Why Coconut? I don't know. Possibly because she had coconut scented shampoo. Possibly because she's just nutty.

I'm beginning to think that if we were to have a fifth child (NOT HAPPENING) I'd wait to name him/her until he/she hit their third birthday so he/she could have his/her say in it. Then again, maybe not. The last person I met who was allowed to name themselves at a young age has Axl as a middle name....yeah, as in Axl Rose.

1 comment:

Staci said...

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Have a fabulous 4th!