My cousin is having a really hard time. Every day is a struggle for her. Things that were overwhelming for me as a new mom- sleep deprivation, teething baby, total lack of down time, loneliness, too much work/not enough time- have been horrifically compounded for her due to severe birth trauma. Her son is 9 months old & there is no end in sight. Every day I think about her & every day I pray for healing, answers, peace, anything. If I'm hurting for her, how badly is she hurting? How badly is her husband hurting? How badly are her parents hurting?
The mother of a friend who was expecting her first child at the time told me, "J's the first woman to ever be pregnant." I think we're all like that to an extent. It's so hard to see past the end of our noses sometimes. The day I found out I was pregnant with BabyGirl I can remember sitting at work astonished that anyone's life could go on as it had the day before. I was gestating. Didn't that trump everything else going on in the world?
Earlier this week I was worried about all the things I have to get before Bubba & Beck's wedding: Dress socks for the boys. Dress pants for #1 Son. Dress shirts & ties for the boys. Hair clips for BabyGirl. Bows for Bitsy's hair. Snacks for the trip. Things to entertain the kids during the 5 hour trip to Tennessee. Minutes for my cell phone (yes, mine's the pre-paid kind, I don't use it enough for anything else).
Yesterday I was reading my cousin's blog (the same cousin who's suffering is boggling my mind) and she linked to Katie's blog. If reading the top 4 or 5 posts on Katie's blog don't give you perspective, nothing in this world will.
Today I'm struggling with perspective. How can I spend any time worrying about what my boys will wear to a wedding when Katie is fighting for the lives of 400 children in Uganda? How can I worry about snacks for a car trip when Katie is worrying about the starving baby she's taken in just long enough to feed her & send her back to the card board house she'll share with her mother & 5 siblings? How do we continue to function when the world around us is not as pretty as it seems from where we sit?
In John 12, Mary, the sister of Lazarus, anointed Jesus with expensive perfume. When a disciple objected saying, "Why wasn't this sold & the money given to the poor?" Jesus told him, "You will always have the poor among you..." This I accept.
But that doesn't make it any easier to keep life in prospective today.
What does make it much easier is to take my worries to the Lord minute by minute. I can't pack up our beds & ship them to Katie in Uganda, but I can pray that she & her daughters sleep well tonight. I can't send her my house payment this month instead of sending it to my mortgage company, but I can ask Jehova Jireh (The Lord who Provides) to send her all the money she needs to feed & care for the children she's been given guard over.
He's better at perspective than I am.