Yes, we know exactly what causes this.

A few weeks ago, we were heading to the van after our weekly grocery run when BabyGirl turned to me & said, "Mommy, why do people think 4 kids is a lot of kids?" I told her I really didn't know. Maybe because most people only have 1 or 2 kids. But I told her I don't think 4 kids is a lot of kids. I think 4 kids is the exact right amount for our family. I can't imagine us without one of our kids, so 4 never seems too many to me.

Yes, there are days when the chaos gets a bit overwhelming. Yes, there are days when I feel like I'm going to pull my hair out trying to corral all 4 of them. Yes, there are days when I am vastly outnumbered, but which one do you think I should give up to relieve myself of the pressure? BabyGirl? Our funny mother hen, the boss, the immensely creative, deeply feeling oldest? Or how about #1 Son? My sensitive, caring, helpful, eager to please, eager to learn second child? No, wait, definitely B.B. Our wild, fearless, 90 to nothing all day long, hysterically funny ball of energy & love. Then again, maybe Bitsy. Our cuddly, talkative, sweet natured, possessive beam of sunshine. You pick, because I can't.

When I was pregnant with...well...everyone except BabyGirl, people would constantly nod at my belly & ask, "Don't you know what causes that?" followed by raucous laughter. Um. What? It was one thing to hear it jokingly from my uncles who love us & love our babies, it's another thing to hear it from complete strangers at the grocery.

But 2 or 3 weeks ago was the jaw dropping comment that I will never forget. Husband & I were leaving Wal-Mart tugging our 2 carts full of groceries & necessities all 4 rather excited FarmHands in tow, when a man started chatting with Husband. I thought it was someone from work because of his familiar tone. He asked if they were all ours (something we hear a lot), then asked their ages. Husband rattled off our 8-6-4 & 2 that will be the case until September when B.B. turns 5, and kept walking. The man told me they were cute & I said thanks. Nothing, so far, was really different from the comments we get every time we take the kids out. Then he dropped his voice & leaned in closer to me so only I could hear his next remark.

"He must keep you busy," with a gesture towards Husband. I froze. I mumbled a weak, terse, obviously forced, one syllable laugh and sped up. He kept walking with us. I tried to get my cart closer to Husband's, but he didn't realize anything was wrong. After a tense moment the man said, "Sorry. I was just trying to make conversation," to which I replied, "Um. OK," and turned away. He (finally) picked up his cue & walked away.

Did I miss the new rules of etiquette that make it OK to comment on the sex life of total strangers in Wal-Mart's vestibule? When we got to the van I told Husband what the man said & he looked at me oddly. At first, he didn't understand the innuendo...but he caught up to speed pretty quickly.

At the time, I was too stunned to turn to the man & say, "Excuse me? What did you just say about my husband?!" But I don't think we're ever really prepared for that kind of thing.