This isn't an easy post for me to write. I have a question for you. If you knew that this could be your last day on earth, how would you spend it?
Grandma B (Unkie Di's mother) is having her pacemaker replaced tomorrow. While under normal circumstances, this is a simple procedure, for her it is not. Her heart is in horrible shape. The doctor said most people's pacemakers go "ting, ting, ting" hers goes "WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!" to keep her heart pumping. Because of that her batteries (the big component most of us think of as a pacemaker) have to be replaced more frequently than normal. Hers has only lasted half the time it should. When they take the old one out tomorrow, they have to stop her heart. That way they can test & be sure the new defibrillator will shock her heart properly once it's installed. Her surgeon told her because the damage to her heart is so extensive, there is a very real (and likely) chance her heart will not start up again. But this has to happen.
Grandma B's reaction? "It's a win/win situation. If my heart starts, I get to go home. If it doesn't start, I still get to go home." Her faith is unflappable.
Because of all of this, the majority of her family has come down to visit & be here for the procedure. Everyone came to church this morning. Normally when they all come down, they don't come or head home before church starts. Grandma was so happy to have them all there this morning. QM asked me how she was & I said, "She was so happy. She was...well...she was just so happy she was glowing." Grandma has such peace about this all. She told Mr.G (our preacher) that she was fine with whatever happened, "Now if only I could convince all of them that this is going to be OK no matter what."
During services today I was praying for her & suddenly I was at a loss. Do I pray that she makes it through fine? That's what I want. Do I pray that the Good Lord takes her home? She would be more than happy with that option. Finally I just said, "God, you know how this is going to turn out. You know we still want her. If you're going to take her, you're going to have to take care of the rest of us."
Grandma B is one of the kindest, most loving people I have ever met. I have never heard her speak ill of anyone. I have never seen her truly angry. She hasn't always had an easy life, but she's never been bitter about it. When the time comes for her to go, she will truly leave a hole in the world.
Today she will spend surrounded by family & friends who love her & don't want to imagine life without her.
If you knew tomorrow would be your last day, how would you spend today? Will you do me a huge favor & spend part of it praying for Grandma B & all of us she loves? We need it.
8 comments:
Well, I would do what she's doing - spending the day with people I love. Prayers.
If today was going to be my last day, we wouldn't be cancelling our dinner with relatives today because of our fear over the weather. We'd just go for it, not worrying about ice or going into labor during terrible weather. Instead, we'd just enjoy every moment possible with these newfound relatives, allowing us to love on each other.
Grandma B is my sister and it breaks my heart that I couldn't be down there, be assured that there are a whole host of God's prayer warriors right up in NW Indiana who are praying for her and all the family and the Doctor's. But come what may " God is in Control! "
and since she has always lived her
life according to his plan for her
life, his plan will be carried out. She has gone thru more challenges in life than anyone I know and came thru them because of her faith in God. God promises us that he will never leave nor forsake us.
HE IS THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION and if he chooses to take her home to HEAVEN rest assured he is coming for us all Soon
and we will see her again. But I will spend these two days in prayer
that God will allow us a little more time with her.
" joycey Mae ".
Lots of prayers that you'll all find peace no matter what God's plans are for Grandma B...
And I'd like to think I'd spend my last day being able to sit down and enjoy my family...not run around wondering if all the dust bunnies were swept and vacuumed, and if I had on clean underwear... :D
I'll be praying tomorrow for peace. God's will be carried out, and the thing you need most is "peace beyond all understanding" (Phillipians 4:7).
I would do just what Grandma is doing. I would love on my kids and fill myself up with their love.
It sounds to me like Grandma B has things pretty much sussed. As others have said, how better to spend your last day, or any day, than to be with those you love and who love you,content and certain in your faith? I hope that you all are ok through this, whatever happens. You sound like an amazing family. Take care. Sarah x
wow, we just started this new series at church called "one month to live" and the band played "live like you were dying" by Tim McGraw. A lot of things presented were "what ifs" and about relying on God. Its scary to thing about the end for yourself and those that you love. Wishing the best for Grandma B.
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