November 21, 2008

For Sale...cheap:

Four small children. Two girls. Two boys. Three are blond, one's a brunette. They will fight. They will whine. They will argue with absolutely everything you say. They will stomp about the house like a heard of elephants. They will dirty up the floors you spent an hour and a half scrubbing. They will ask for food every 27 seconds and only eat 1/3 of what they've demanded. They will refuse to do anything they're told unless you stand over them & physically make them obey. The smallest one may look cute & innocent, but beware. She will cutely point at everything & say, "Buh, buh, buh," until something upsets her. Then she will begin screeching like an air raid siren.

Any interested parties, leave a comment.

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Please, do not call the authorities. I will not really sell my children....no matter how much I want to....no matter how badly I want the money for new furniture....I will not sell my children. I will not sell my children. Tomorrow is another day.

4 comments:

Ang said...

Trade two teenagers and a 7yo for yours?

Inkling said...

Put a stamp on their butts and mail them to me. I've got a trampoline in the front yard, and numerous ways for them to see if their tetanus shots are up to date. If you mail them to my post office box, you'll probably have to include a note that will let the border guards know I'm allowed to bring them into Canada. Or, you could just instruct them to behave like normal if we are called in for an interview. Then the border guards would for sure let us leave right away. =)

Gail said...

Will trade even for cats and roosters!

Sarah said...

If you manage to sell yours let any other callers know that I have a 9 and 10 year old for sale too.House trained, but liable to play violently with footballs at any given moment. S