October 5, 2008

Once upon a time there was a young married couple. They were very much in love. They spent every waking moment together...as well as all non-waking moments. But this couple had a serious problem. You see, he was a smart Alec & he loved pestering his wife ceaselessly.

One afternoon, the wife was splayed out across their couch watching a soap opera (which, incidentally, she did not watch before they were married. He watched this particular soap & lured her into it) attempting to relax before work. The husband was setting on the floor in front of the couch, pestering his lovely wife.

Now, all these years later, the actual mode of irritation has been lost to the annals of time, but trust me when I say he deserved everything he was about to get.

The young bride, slightly irritated by her husband's repeated actions said, "Darling. Love. Sweetheart. Would you so very kindly stop doing that, please?" To which her evil groom only laughed. "Dearest, I'm begging of you, please desist in your actions as I fear my own response to them." Again, laughter from him. Weeping now she cried, "My beloved, why do you insist on torturing me so? Why? Why?!" His maniacal laughter ringing through the house.

OK, so it was more like:
Bride- Quit that.
Groom- (He doesn't)
Bride- Stop it! You're getting on my nerves.
Groom- (He continues pestering)
Groom- (Still keeps pestering)
Bride- OK, that's it. You do that one more stinking time & I'm going to punch you in the face.
Groom- You wouldn't do that. You might break my glasses.
Bride- I don't suggest you try me.
Groom- (Does what ever it was one last time for good measure)
Bride- Take off your glasses.
Groom- (Takes off his glasses)
Bride- (Punches him in the eye)
Groom- Ouch! What?! Hey! I can't believe you just did that!!
Bride- I can't believe you took off your glasses.

Yeah, folks. It's a true story.

Well, what would you have done? I mean he took off the glasses.


Anonymous said...


Excuse me while i pick my jaw up off the bed.

a wandering heart said...

That is hilarious.
J woke up with a black eye once... I don't remember giving it to him, though.

Terri said...

This, my dear, is a page out of my life....with the exception of the glasses. I often tell people that I had kids so that it would ease the burden of his peskiness on me. It worked, to a degree.

Kork said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!...Oh, I'm so sorry, but knowing your beloved FarmBoy, he truly deserved it...oooh...I'm going to be chuckling over that all day long whilst I make applesauce and tidy my house...my mother is coming over to help me hang fun things in Tiny Pricess' room, so I must away and to work! Smooches!