Chapter 5- Anatomy of a C-Section

I promise...This will be the end of this narrative. You didn't sign up for the novel...

During all the testing and ultra sounds, we discovered B.B. was breech (most likely because of the short space between pregnancies). Because we doctor in a very small hospital our options are much different than most. If I had gone into labor and something had gone wrong an emergency C-section might not have been organized in time. They don't staff the OR all night so by the time they got everyone in we could have been in serious trouble. So instead we scheduled a C-Section. I wasn't thrilled with the idea. I'd never had surgery before and wasn't too keen on having it then.

We were told to be at the hospital at 5:30 that morning. I wasn't allowed to eat after midnight the night before. I was told to take off my nail polish (which had been an odd little tradition with my births...painted toes...different color for each baby), no perfume, make-up, or lotion. When I'm pregnant Lotion is a BIG MUST!!! Dry tight skin is not my thing. But I dealt with it. Can't say I slept that night. At all really. I was too worked up. Husband and I planned on leaving at 4:30 am. I think we left just before 4, turns out I wasn't the only one not sleeping. Mama and Daddy were here to stay with the kids. Daddy was up when we left...nearly as nervous as I was.

When we got to our room in the OB wing the dry erase board said in big letters "Welcome Back, Farm Wife and Husband!J" We had the same nurse in the delivery room for all 3 kids. It's one of my favorite things about small hospitals. We settled in and the night nurse came in to prep me. (If you are squeamish, you may want to quit reading now.) Prep involved a catheter...no, they did not sedate me...no epidural...nothing. It wasn't the most pleasant experience of my life. The worst part was that I had to lay there for the next 3 hours with this catheter in while we waited for the OR to be prepped. In the mean time I went into labor. Figures. The one time I'm going to get to skip the whole labor and delivery thing, and I go into labor. Ugh!

Once I was in the OR and prepped for the procedure, I began to shake horribly. Then I got so nervous I thought I was going to vomit. What ever they put in my IV to keep me from dry heaving made me so sleepy I couldn't keep my eyes open. Everyone kept talking to me and expecting me to answer. I just wanted to sleep. Husband was brought in and plunked down in a chair by my head. The sheet was so high he saw none of the actual birth. I felt like I was being pulled on from every angle. The idea of surgery being a delicate task was shot out the window. It's a wonder I wasn't pulled clean off the table...of course my arms were strapped down so that probably kept me in place.

B.B. was delivered, wrapped up, shown to me for about 30 seconds, and whisked away along with Husband and my favorite nurse. I had enough time with him to say, "He looks just like his sister," kiss him, and tell him I loved him. Then I think they may have put me under. I don't remember anything until the recovery room...and that's mostly me asking how long I'd been there and the old lady in the next bed coughing.

The nurse wheeled me past the nursery window to see B.B. before I was settled into my room and I began to cry. Busha was there and told me, "It's OK, honey. You'll get to hold him in a minute." That wasn't why I was crying. I'm not sure why I was crying...maybe it's because I was under the influence, maybe it's because that just wasn't how my birth was supposed to go.

Once I was settled in they brought B.B. to me. He seemed like a stranger. Like someone else's baby. Because of the pain medicine and antibiotics I wasn't allowed to nurse him for the first 24 hours. Once I did it seemed so odd, nursing a baby I didn't feel like I had birthed. I had a very hard time recovering. I passed out the next morning when they tried to get me up so I spent another 24 hours confined to bed. Between the pain and the medicine they were giving me for it, I don't remember much about those first 2 days.

I can't tell you how long it took me to really connect with B.B. but I know it wasn't in that first week. It may not have even been in that first month. I was in pain and afraid to be left alone with the kids. Looking back I'd say I had a slight case of Postpartum Depression, but because I was still functioning, I didn't think much about it. Eventually I connected with B.B. and have never doubted that he belonged to me since.

I do know that our next baby will have to be delivered by C-Section and that's the one thing that gives me pause about getting pregnant again. But this time I think I'll be better prepared...and maybe I won't feel so disjointed. Until then, I'll try to enjoy my babies. And thank God for the blessings they are.