Chapter 4

I weaned #1 Son early. I had lost a lot of weight nursing Baby Girl through the winter (colds and flu) and didn't want to risk getting down to 88 lbs again. I hadn't started cycling again after #1 Son's birth. I wasn't too surprised since I hadn't totally quit nursing until January. One night in March Husband left for work and I started peeing. Normally I have an Iron Bladder. I can hold it all day. By the 4th trip to the bathroom in 3 hours, I knew something was up. Suddenly it hit me. I was pregnant!

A test confirmed it the next day. This was the first test I had ever taken without Husband's knowledge so he was more than a little shocked when I gave him the news. I believe he shook my hand and said Congratulations. I called him a big dork and ran to call everyone.

Our first doctor's appointment was less than a week later. When Doc asked how far along I thought I was I said, "Oh, about 4 or 5 weeks maybe." Much to our surprise he said, "Feels more like 8 to 10 weeks." He sent us for an ultrasound that Friday. We were even more surprised when the ultra sound tech said I was 12 weeks along. I had completely missed the first trimester! And can I just say, that's the way to do it!

Because of #1 Son's kidney problems we were sent back to the High risk OB for a high def ultra sound. Since it was just a precaution and we weren't sure we'd make it home in time for him to make it to work, Husband decided not to go. Mama and Daddy were here so Daddy went with me. Everything was going fine until the tech began looking at the baby's heart. It didn't take me long to realize she was paying extra attention to it...a lot of extra attention. The panic began to rise and I had to force myself not to scream, "Just tell me what's wrong!" I so wanted Husband to be there. I thought I might vomit. The tech finished and left. I didn't say anything to Daddy (who had been in the room the entire time) about her concentrating on baby's heart. I thought if I didn't say anything out loud, nothing would come of it.

The OB came into the room a few minutes later and took a second look. She checked the kidneys and quickly moved on to measure his arms and legs. I found that rather odd, but the panic began to rise when she focused on his heart. The Doctor and the Tech kept pointing and whispering to each other and agreeing and discussing and the entire time I was fighting the urge to bawl. Doctor finally looks up and says, "His kidneys look OK, but there are other things that make us think he's at a higher risk for Down Syndrome." Oh God, no. Not my baby. Please Dear Lord, not this. Why isn't Husband here? How am I going to tell him this? What are we going to do? I'm not sure I really heard what was said after that. Daddy put his arms around me as I sobbed and listened for both of us.

My blood work had put us at a 1 in 987 chance the baby had Downs. Not a big deal. Not even worth mentioning. This ultra sound put it at 1 in 88. His upper arms and legs were shorter than normal. He had some fluid in his kidneys. And they found a small hole in his heart. Separately these things were not problems. together they were markers for Downs.

They told me they could do an Amnio that day. I wanted to speak to Husband so they gave us a phone and left me and Daddy alone. I had always said I'd never have an Amniocentesis done. There was no point. We don't believe in abortion and there's no prenatal treatment for Downs...But faced with this reality, I wanted one. I couldn't wait the 12 weeks until the baby was born to know if he would be "normal." Husband agreed and jumped in the van to meet us at the hospital. He got there 90 minutes later and Daddy went back to help Mama with the older kids.

Husband and I wandered around in a daze until our appointment to speak to the counselor at the doctor's office. We were afraid the Amnio would send me into premature labor and we'd have a baby born at 28 weeks instead of 40. She assured us that it is so rare, they can't even be sure it's the Amnio that causes preterm labor and not other factors.

I cannot say the Amniocentesis was very painful. It was very uncomfortable, but then how could inserting a 9 inch long needle into your abdomen not be. They initially told us it would take 10-14 days to get the tests results back. I nearly flipped out. Then they said they'd have the preliminary results (one being the Downs test) in 2 days. That was a long 2 days. Mama stayed and took care of the kids. I called everyone I knew to ask them to pray. Art wept when I told her.

The morning the office was supposed to call I was a nervous wreck. I paced and fidgeted. I hadn't really eaten since they did the ultra sound. Mama took the kids outside to play and I wandered around the house like I was lost. When the phone finally rang I nearly wet my pants. I was so worked up I wasn't sure I could answer it. When the counselor told me all the results had come back negative I began to tremble with relief. Husband was very calm about the whole thing. Mama hugged me and said, "I bet you feel better."

The doctor's office had also made us an appointment to see a pediatric cardiologist to check the hole in B.B.'s heart. They were going to do an EKG and I was a tad nervous about that not knowing what to expect. Turned out to be another ultra sound. 4 in one week (including the one they did during the Amnio). And to top it all off, I was coming down with a stomach bug. The tech pushed on my abdomen for 20 minutes taking all kinds of pictures, then said, "OK, we're done. You can go." WHAT??? Aren't we supposed to see the cardiologist? Nope. He'll look at the test tonight and we should hear something soon. If we didn't hear something in 2 weeks, give them a call. I was not happy. I asked her if she could please tell us something, anything. She said, "Let me put it this way, I'm letting you walk out of here." What was that supposed to mean?

I called my OB that night to keep Sue and Doc up to date. Sue was not happy with what we'd been told...or more what we hadn't been told. She told Doc and he said he'd call the cardiologist and our results would be on his desk when we got there the next morning. When they weren't Doc and Sue were livid. As soon as we left he was on the phone. Sue had called our machine before we even made it home. The hole was tiny. A pin hole. It would close before B.B. was even born. I had never been happier with my Doctor and his Staff than I was that day.

I had really hoped I would wrap this up today, but I can't subject you to anymore, and I can't handle anymore myself. I'm going to fix myself a Pepsi (like mother like daughter) and watch Finding Neverland...which I'm sure will reduce me to a sobbing mess in the state I'm already in.