September 5, 2013

As promised

Last weekend people kept telling me, "It's going to be OK. It's going to get better." At the time I wasn't sure I believed them. There are times when I still don't. But there are even longer stretches of time when I really am OK.

In a way we were fortunate. We didn't lose Grandpa suddenly. Not really. He had been in declining health for years. He quit speaking more than a few words at a time about 2 years ago. He had faded to the point where he barely resembled the man who built the cradle I slept in as an infant and the man who made me bait my own hook when he took me out on  his boat. He was still Grandpa but in a shadowy way.

I think that has, in a way, made his passing easier to deal with. That and the fact that his passing was actually an answer to prayers. I still miss him. I always will.

You see, Husband's grandmother passed away a few years ago. She lingered. For days she could neither eat nor drink. She was unconscious and in pain. She was beyond fragile. She developed bed sores. She could barely breath, but still she clung to life with the same iron will she always had. It was horrible.

After Husband took me to see Grandma and Grandpa the week before he died I started praying fervently that Grandpa wouldn't linger the way Grandma in Country did. I prayed he would go peacefully and that Grandma and their children would be prepared for it. My prayers were fully answered.

That didn't make his death less painful, but that and the hope that we have in Jesus have made his death much easier to bear and not without comfort. I have no doubt that this was not the end of our time together and at the moment that brings a smile to my face.

I know that my life will not be forever wrapped up in thoughts of him and his passing. Hours are passing without my feeling overwhelmed. Days are passing without tears. Laughter is coming more frequently. Reflections are easier to deal with.

This idea helps me more than anything else:

God be with you 'till we meet again,
By his council guide, uphold you.
'Neath his wings securely fold you.
God be with you 'till we meet again.
'Till we meet, 'till we meet,
'Till we meet at Jesus' feet.
'Till we meet, 'till we meet,
God be with you 'till we meet again.

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