I'm afraid I'm missing the Mothering Sympathy Gene. You know, that thing that makes you run to your kids & scoop them up in your arms when they get hurt. I'm much more likely to be found standing over their poor broken bodies saying things like, "Well, if you'd have gone inside when I told you to instead of climbing up the tree house ladder again, you probably wouldn't have fallen off the slide & hurt your leg." Or, "If you had been in your room cleaning it like you were told to, your brother couldn't possibly have poked you in the arm with his pencil because he was in the kitchen." Or, "I'm sorry you chipped a tooth, but I'm pretty sure I just told you to quit swinging that stick around in the air like a sword."
Husband, on the other hand, picks them up & coddles them & promises candy & ice cream & rainbows & unicorns while I stand feet planted shoulder width apart, arms akimbo, eyes rolling back in my skull saying, "If you break your leg, don't run crying to me."
I think I may be damaged.
5 comments:
Not only are you not alone, I think your approach is better. They have to learn that life can hurt sometimes and to pick themselves up. You're not always going to be there to coddle them and tell them it's ok. Short of blood or broken appendages, I would totally say the same things.
We must be kindred spirits...or twins separated at birth. So many of your posts sound like you are describing my life.
I do that same thing only minus the guilt. Guess that makes me the evil twin.
SO not alone!
I have a struggle balancing being sensitive and loving and sympathetic with the opposite extreme of the "I told you so" thing. SIGH.
I do have to say that there are times when it is a pretty major incident (Captain's wipe out at school last week for instance) where I do provide the sympathy and the snuggles and cuddles, and soothing. HOWEVER - by the 4th day post face-bashing, I was about done with every little thing ending up with "I can't. My mouth hurts!"
Yeah - it's sort of how I get impatient with BB when he's sick, and wants to be waited on hand and foot...
Definitely not alone!! My dad was a doctor and if we went to him and said "Daddy it hurts when I do this" he would say "Well, don't do that then, silly!"
I have taken my mothering gene from him and tend to be quite impatient when children are not actually badly hurt. My favourite phrase is "You'll live."
If that means you're damaged then I guess I am too.
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