September 7, 2008

Ride 'em, Cowgirl! Yeah, right.

OK, so the story goes something like this:

Husband & the three oldest FarmHands were playing outside. Bitsy was napping. I was baking cupcakes as a special treat for us & getting ready to start working on a certain little bug's baby blanket from his favorite second cousin. The windows were wide open. There was a House marathon on USA. Life was good.

I heard Husband call my name from the cow lot. When I looked out the back door, #1 Son was sitting astride the horse, thrilled to be there. "Come lead the horse so I can hold on to #1 Son," my beloved called. I slipped on my flip-flops (yes, I know....not with a horse), ran out, and helped them make one trip around the pen. Then I headed back in to get the cupcakes out of the oven & put on my mud boots (flip-flops & horse poop don't go well together).

BabyGirl & B.B. took their turns, and then it was mine. I haven't been on Lightning in more than 2 years. She was doing very well. I was not concerned. Husband gave me a boost (she's a tall quarterhorse), I tucked my boots into the stirrups, adjusted my weight so it was on my feet & not my bottom, and took a good grip on the pommel of the saddle. Husband took the lead rope & we headed off. Things were good for a few yards, then BabyGirl started yelling for me. She wasn't feeling good & wanted to go inside. I raised my hand to tell her to hold on a minute and we made the first turn in the pen. BabyGirl started shouting again & her dad quietly told her to hush & I'd be there in a minute. I doubt she heard him. She hollered a third time & I raised my hand again to tell her to wait.....and that's when things went wrong.

Lightning got spooked & jerked her head back. Husband tried to calm her & kept a firm grip on the rope. She slammed into the woven wire fencing next to us & I leaned away from it to keep from getting barbed wire in my face (this resulted in the bruising to my right hip & thigh). Then she jerked away from the fence & spun out in the field. Husband kept wrestling to keep her under control & I kept holding on for dear life. I'm not really sure what happened next, but the result was my face making direct contact with the hard packed ground before any other part of my body did.

As soon as I was off, Husband jerked the horse away from me & pulled her to the post to tie her up. He yelled for me to lay still & he'd come get me. I couldn't have gotten up if I wanted to. I couldn't take a deep breath. I couldn't roll over. All I did was lay there in the tall grass & cry, "Oh God. Please Lord. Jesus. Oh please God. Sweet Jesus. Dear Lord," over & over & over.

Husband got to me, picked me up, and carried me up to the house. I was beginning to breath easier, but my left arm hurt like the dickens just below my elbow as did my right hip & thigh & the right side of my face...and don't even get me started on my head. Oh, and I was picking grass out from between my teeth. Really.

I went inside while Husband went to calm the boys down (who watched the entire fiasco) and take the saddle off the horse. When he was done, I went out to tell him about my arm. He said to call his mom & see if she'd come sit with the kids while he took me to the ER. When I couldn't get through to her, I called Uncle E's. RL answered & I asked if she'd take me. She grabbed Beffie, jumped in her truck & high tailed it to our house.

On the way to the ER I could follow the conversation at hand fairly well, but couldn't back track to figure out how we got to this point in the conversation. And if anyone quit talking, I was lost.

At the ER, the doctor (who happened to be one we'd had before that I loved...although I know Needlefinger's Mom does not like him), checked me out & said he didn't think anything was broken, but he wanted an x-ray just in case.

The x-ray tech had the same name as BabyGirl. While she was setting up the x-ray I said, "I'm nursing. Will this be OK." She said, "You're in nursing?" I said, "No. I'm nursing my baby. This won't hurt anything will it?" She said no, it wasn't an issue & asked how old Bitsy was. For the life of me I couldn't tell her. I think I said, "She's either 14 months or 17 months, but I'm not sure because I can't count right now." When I told Husband the story he says I said either 11 months or 17 months...I was still pretty loopy.

The doctor came back in & said nothing was broken and I probably had a mild concussion (no vomiting or anything) but he wanted me to get a tetanus shot because of the scrapes on my face. He sent me home with my arm in a sling & a prescription that reads:

To whom it may concern:
Husband must do all house-hold domestic chores for next 4-5 years.

I wish I could tell you the conversation that led up to the script because it was funny...but alas, that was one that's been lost in the fog.

RL & Beffie brought me back home & I crashed out in the arm chair. I called to tell QM my adventures, and at some point I was gesturing to her over the phone & she laughed at me. I had to ask her what was so funny & she said, "I can't see what you're doing." I was so confused.

My right hip hurts a bit. My right thigh hurts a bit more. My left arm is pretty sore & I've been alternating moving it around & tucking it in the sling. The right side of my face is covered in broken capillaries & a few small scrapes. The left side of my lip is busted & the inside of my mouth (where the top lip meets the gums) hurts. My right temple has a small lump & is VERY tender. I can't open my mouth too wide because it makes my temple hurt. Tylenol, Ice, and wake every 3 hours were my instructions.

Husband woke me up & asked me inappropriate questions in the night....well, inappropriate to ask your wife who's suffering from head trauma anyway. This morning I had to ask him what he'd said. I only remember thinking, "Why is he asking me this? Is he stupid?" but couldn't remember the questions. I'm pretty sure I told him he was stupid & asked what the hell was wrong with him...yeah, I was out of it. This morning I told him, "You were supposed to ask me things like what's my name, how many kids do we have, what year is it...not that!" But this is the same man who said, "I would have jumped off the horse." To which I think I replied, "Shut up."

Bitsy took care of the rest of the wakings for us. Husband moved to the couch. BabyGirl vomited in the night. She & B.B. were both up by shortly after 5 am wanting ibuprofen. B.B. is already on antibiotics but I have to wait for the doctor's office to open Monday to call in & get BabyGirl some. I was going to give her #1 Son's dosage since they're the same weight, but I can't remember what antibiotic she was on that sent us to the ER with her covered in hives. Why I didn't write it down is beyond me. Oh well.

So, two out of four kids sick. One mother laid up with horse related injuries & lingering sinus issues...and intestinal problems stemming from her antibiotics. One five year old completely over his illness and a toddler who doesn't understand why mom can't tote her around & pick her up every 90 seconds. A very messy kitchen.

Well, that's my story & I'm sticking to least until RL & Beffie tell me different. I wonder what all I said to them yesterday. Those girls may have gotten a real education.....

I'm off to put my sling back on & kick back in the arm chair while my Tylenol does little to ease my head ache. Enjoy your Sunday & stay off the horse! I'm going to eat a chocolate cupcake for breakfast.


zann said...

good golly, bless your heart.

Kork said...

If I could just drive over, I'd be there in a blink to take care of you and the kiddos!

I'm so sorry darling, but am so glad you're not hurt more seriously than your bumps, bruises, and slightly addled brain.

Praying for speedy recovery for the kids, and that FarmBoy will be able to take care of all of you until something or someone else comes along to help out!!!

Lots of gentle hugs to, rest up, and we'll be thinking of you lots!

Ragged Around the Edges said...

Omigoodness. I winced the entire time I was reading this. Sounds awfully painful. Wishing you lots of rest, well children and to be feeling better soon.