It's amazing. Lately I've become internationally known. I'm not 100% sure how it's happened, but people all over the world need my help or have something to offer me.
In the past 3 weeks I've had numerous emails from wives of recently deceased husbands in the middle east. Most of the men converted to Christianity from Islam & were therefor disowned by their families. The widows needed my help transferring their husbands millions to US banks before their Islamic governments/in-laws seized it leaving them penniless. All they need is for me to pay a small fee to allow them to transfer the money here & then I'll be given a rather large percentage of their fortune as a "thank you." Yeah for me. I can now quit waiting for Ed McMahon to bring me my giant check.
If that weren't enough, I've won the National Lottery Promo International in Great Brittan. My email address was attached to the winning ticket, and I'm all set to receive ONE MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS!!!! All they need from me is my name, sex, age, address, country, nationality, fax number, home phone number, mobile phone number, and occupation. I think I'll throw in my bank account number, credit card number, and social security number just for good measure. I'd hate for something to gum up the works & make me miss out on my ONE
MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS!!! Lets see, in US dollars that comes to.....$1,970,699. Not bad.
Not to worry though. My new found fame & fortune will not change who I am as a person. I will still put my pants on one leg at a time, only now they'll be Dolce & Gabbana instead of Faded Glory. Maybe I'll take you all out for a steak dinner after my checks clear.
In the past 3 weeks I've had numerous emails from wives of recently deceased husbands in the middle east. Most of the men converted to Christianity from Islam & were therefor disowned by their families. The widows needed my help transferring their husbands millions to US banks before their Islamic governments/in-laws seized it leaving them penniless. All they need is for me to pay a small fee to allow them to transfer the money here & then I'll be given a rather large percentage of their fortune as a "thank you." Yeah for me. I can now quit waiting for Ed McMahon to bring me my giant check.
If that weren't enough, I've won the National Lottery Promo International in Great Brittan. My email address was attached to the winning ticket, and I'm all set to receive ONE MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS!!!! All they need from me is my name, sex, age, address, country, nationality, fax number, home phone number, mobile phone number, and occupation. I think I'll throw in my bank account number, credit card number, and social security number just for good measure. I'd hate for something to gum up the works & make me miss out on my ONE
MILLION GREAT BRITISH POUNDS!!! Lets see, in US dollars that comes to.....$1,970,699. Not bad.Not to worry though. My new found fame & fortune will not change who I am as a person. I will still put my pants on one leg at a time, only now they'll be Dolce & Gabbana instead of Faded Glory. Maybe I'll take you all out for a steak dinner after my checks clear.
5 comments:
Wow, I can't believe we've struck millions at the same time. Shall we flaunt our "new money" together? Let's be rich and gaudy, okay?
Hey
you can take me on a spa vacation with all your new found money
Shoot girls, if we pool our millions we could buy an island and some cute cabana boys to bring us drinks while we are pampered with pedicures and massages, facials, and seaweed wraps...
I recently found out I won the Spanish Lottery, got a letter from someone in Ghana that needed my help embezzling, oops, I mean transferring their millions to the US...where should we look for our island?
Next thing you know they'll be offering to help you with other *whisper* bedroom */whisper* - problems as well,
At least that was my experience after the wealthy middle-eastern & south african women (there sure are a lot of wealthy widows out there) and after winning the Brittish and Mexican lotteries. ;)
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