January 7, 2008

Coming Cleaner

While writing the last post about my adventures in shaving, I remembered something else I should share in the spirit of Coming Clean.


I have an affinity for bare baby butts. I can't help myself. They're so cute. I cannot resist patting them. OK, I'm not a freak, or a pervert. That isn't where this confession is going. Fear not.


Once B.B. learned to toddle, he quickly learned to undress himself as well. It was summer. It was hot. He lived in a diaper & t-shirt. He often shucked the diaper when left alone for 30 seconds or longer. I spent a good portion of my day chasing him down and wrestling him back into his diaper. When I picked him up I automatically patted his bare bottom. I did that every time I caught him "Donald Ducking" it (shirt with no pants).

One day I snatched him up and headed to get a new diaper for him. I didn't see the old one laying around but since he'd just discovered the wonders of throwing things in the trash, I didn't worry too much about it. I gave his bottom the traditional squeeze/pat. I stopped short when I realized I had a handful of poo.

From that moment on I've checked carefully before patting any bare baby butt.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROFL..Ok..you win..I give up..

Sarah @ Ordinary Days said...

Oh now that is just gross! And "Donald Ducking it"! That is too cute! Love it!

Memarie Lane said...

I poke my daughter's butt too. It's just so squishy! So now when she pulls her own pants to go to the bathroom, she pokes her own butt, she seems to think it's part of the process.

Margot said...

Marie -> you really made me laugh!

Farmwife -> I really start to feel strong maternal instincts and an even stronger desire for children now...
Not just because of your baby butt patting story, but of your children stories in general!