My Slam Book Answers

In an effort to ignore what I'm beginning to fear can truly be labeled "colic" in my baby, I am channeling my inner High School self. She was very moody. She was always in love (truly, madly, deeply). She was very put upon (just ask QM). She was quite the social butterfly. Today I miss her.

1. What's your name/nickname? If it's a nickname where did you get it and why?

I am FarmWife (duh) and call myself that because that's what I am. In high school part of my nickname was Wat. It was the shortened form of a longer name that was a twisted derivative of my actual name. It was followed up by TAI...which is short for The Amish Immigrant. I was inclined to wearing an Amish mens' hat on occasion and had moved to TN from Illinois making me an immigrant. Go figure. The entire name was given to me by a friend with poetic and alcoholic tendencies.

2. Do you have a significant other (very important question in the lives of high school girls)?

Yes. My FarmBoy. He's two years older than I am and cute. Oh, and he can make a chicken feeder out of an old piece of PVC and a laundry detergent bottle. Kind of a redneck MacGyver.

3. Who is your best friend?

Art the Omnipotent of course. She's been my BFF since she moved out of Froot-Loop's house back in the day. Before that she was my roommate (and during the roomie days we were not allowed to refer to each other as BFs).

4. What's your favorite _________? (I'll let you fill in the blank. Typical Slam book choices were color, band, song, movie, number, food. You can fill in as many or as few as you like. OK, so maybe the questions weren't really that deep, but we were adolescents...sue us!)

Color: today it's blue (I have a blue house with a blue window. Blue is the color of all that I wear. Blue are the streets and all the trees are blue. I have a girlfriend and she is so blue. I'm blue....)

Band & Song: today it's The Plain White T's and Hey There Delilah because it made Bitsy go to sleep when she was screaming in the car...but it's usually Flower Child by Aunt Betsy or Drifting by 4 Non Blondes or many many others by many many others.

Food: anything not frozen that I don't have to cook.

Movie: Becoming Jane...OK, so I haven't seen it, but I really want to!!

5. Do penguins have knees?

Yes, but they're very sensitive about them so they're keeping them hidden until they can afford the Demi Moore inspired knee lift.

6. Who's hotter: Dead Poets' Society Ethan Hawke or Reality Bites Ethan Hawke?

While the DPS Ethan is a true doll, the Gen-X slacker grunge chick in me truly loves the Reality Bites Ethan. "I am not under any orders to make the world a better place." "There's no secret hand shake. There's an IQ prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake."

7. If you were stranded on a desert island which lead singer would you most prefer to accompany you? Adam Duritz, Eddie Vedder, or Michael Stipe . And why?

While I adore Adam Duritz and have had a roaring crush on Eddie since high school, I'll have to go with Michael Stipe. While stranded with him he could teach me all the lyrics to It's the End of the World as We Know it...that could take a while. And of the three I think he may be the most entertaining on his own. Eddie can be a tad morose...of course, Michael can be as well, but if he irritates me, I'd have a better shot at drowning him than the other two. He's scrawny.

8. If one train leaves Boston at 2a.m. traveling at 15mph and a bird flies south from your roof at the butt-crack of dawn which side of the bed will you get upon?

Inevitably, the wrong one. Just ask my children.

9. Given a free long weekend & $1,000 you were not allowed to spend on bills, what would you do?

Well, if I have to take my family, probably visit someplace close by like St.Louis where we can do all the family friendly things there are to to. If I truly get a free weekend (no husband, no kids) I'd drive until I found somewhere that struck my fancy, rent a hotel room with a King sized bed, sleep for about 18 hours, then shop as long as I want for what ever I want and eat at a nice quiet upscale place I could never turn my kids loose in.

10. How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

It all depends on what his dentist has to say about that root canal he's been putting off for the past 3 months. (No, I do not have untreated dental problems...it's just the first thing that came to mind.)

11. Leave us with your favorite quote.

Currently it's "You are stupid and not cool." -Art's own Mr.C.A. I also love just about anything from The Princess Bride or Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I am channeling my inner High schooler after all) or possibly "We all can't be valedictorian. We'd never get through all those speeches." - Sheila Hickman (my 11th grade English teacher).