Things I've learned in my 31 years on Earth:

• Kids don't care if it's your birthday/mother's day/the last day of school/the day you're going in for open heart surgery/the day before Armageddon. They will not behave simply because you would like them to. At least my kids won't. In fact, I think they work in reverse. The more you desire wonderful behavior, the harder they resist...hence the Mother's Day and Birthday and Last Day of School meltdowns.
  
  


• If you never go outside again the kids will never learn that one of their bunnies mysteriously died during the night and you will not have to explain it to them. At least that's how I'm operating today. Sally was no longer with us when Husband went to feed this morning. So far no one knows & I don't want to point it out. Bad mom? Maybe. Would you like to come do it?








• Strawberry jam that doesn't properly set up will work fabulously as pancake/ice cream topping. And when you have a freezer full of it, you can share.








• When there are no little sisters to play with, a brother will do just fine...especially one that doesn't mind being dressed like a princess & called Ahlene.








• Self-imposed isolation is one thing. It's a whole different story when there is no where to go and your getting antsy hanging out in your flannel PJ's. Not that I really want to pack the kids up and go anywhere, but for some reason I'm going a little stir crazy today.








• Putting something on the shopping list does not guarantee you'll actually get out of the store with it. Canola Oil for instance...








• Having the Toody-Ta song (see post below) in your head all night long can make sleep difficult.








• Never take your Husband and your (nearly) 4 year old son shopping for the latter's birthday presents or you will inevitably come home with nothing you planned on and one of those GIANT rubber balls that no one has room in their house for unless you happen to be Shaq & live in a 64,000 square foot home...and you'll have no reason to wrap the gifts.








• If you happen to doze off on the couch while your kids are loose in the house, be prepared for the mess you will wake up to.








• Having no chocolate in the house guarantees a serious craving to set in.








• Going home to visit your parents will cause you to revert to your adolescent self (sans the angst) and cause you to leave the care of your children almost totally up to them...but then, this can be fun.








• Eventually you will give in and let your children do something you always said you'd never allow (like watching Spongebob Squarepants) so you can accomplish some inane task like loading the dishwasher without little hands emptying the dirty silverware back into the drawer.








• Just because you're sure an actress you saw in a TV show was in a movie you used to be obsessed with doesn't necessarily make it true...especially when the actress from the movie died 6 years ago.








• Computer Solitare is addictive...as is Chains 2, Chicken Hunter, Polar bear Bowling, and Dinner Dash 2...even if you hate computer games.








• Vowing to enjoy your remaining days of your final pregnancy will not make them easy. Especially when you've reached the point where you can only sleep half sitting up in an arm chair in the livingroom.