December 28, 2006

Excuse Me?

Actual conversation with our credit card company's telemarketer this weekend (Note: Telemarketer was probably located in India as many are now days. I am all for growing the economy in other countries, but a native born English speaker has a hard enough time with our name. Unless practicing English as a first language or German, you should not attempt to pronounce our name. They also will not talk to me as the card is in Husband's name. Husband will not speak to a telemarketer on the phone. He will hardly speak to me on the phone. He really only talks to Little BIL in Korea):

Hello?
Hello, My I please speak with a Mr. F-F-Firm? Form? F-F-Frim B-B-Bye? Bay? Farm? Farm Boy? a Mr. Farm Boy?
He's busy and can't come to the phone right now. May I take a message?
There is no message. This is a courtesy call from (insert credit card company of your choice here). When would be a better time to reach him?
I'm sorry but he will not talk to you on the phone. (This is a technique borrowed from Busha and used by me successfully in the recent past to stop daily calls from another company.)
Why not?
He does not talk to telemarketers.
Why not?
He does not talk on the phone.
Not at all?
No, not really.
Not even to you?
No, not even to me.
You mean to tell me that if you were gone from home and called him on the phone...
This is when I hung up. How much more was I supposed to take? Was I not clear? I was beginning to think this man was going to demand a psychiatric evaluation on my husband because he doesn't like to converse via telephone!!!

1 comment:

needlefingers said...

You say, "That's right, no one." Then you say, "Oh no, I think he's contagious!" Click. ;)

You can also use the quick exit of "Ohmigosh, the cat's on fire!" We've never actually had a cat on fire, (close call a couple of days ago, wasn't it, Pilot?) but it makes a good case for getting off the phone quickly, doesn't it?