And just like that...

Baby Girl turns 19 today.

Not quite grown, but no longer a child. It's an odd age to be. Responsibilities but nothing like what's yet to come. I remember QM telling me 20 was the "nothing year." You were no longer a teenager but not really an adult. 19 isn't far from that.

We got word last week that she got into the OTA program she's been working towards for the past year. That means next year will be college with a dorm, living away from home for part of the week as opposed to this year's community college the next town over.

I keep telling myself I was living in an apartment, working, and going to school at 19. I left home for college at 18 and never went back. She can do this. Now I understand why QM was such a mess when I was 18-20 years old. Parenting an almost adult is not easy.

I've been looking back through old photos on my computer this week. Nostalgia isn't easy on a Mama's tender heart.

Guiding and protecting someone who doesn't always want guidance or protection is a tough task. Sometimes all I can do is sit back and pray and hope. Other times, she genuinely wants my help but it seems to be at times I have little help to offer.

Being the first, the oldest, the "practice child" doesn't help. We don't have experience to fall back on. Sometimes we flounder blindly and it shows. The fine line between overbearing and uplifting is a hard one to walk.