FarmWife Answers, episode eight (Plus random things from today)

Hot dog! What a way to come back from a brief hiatus. Ya'll really need advice & information!

Before I get into all the Ask FarmWife stuff I have to say, if you have good jewelry, please, go insure it! The adjuster called today. He said, "Mrs. FarmWife, you are in an interesting situation. We have to replace your stone with one of equal or better value. When I started looking for a diamond like yours, I couldn't find one. The only one I found is a larger stone, better color & higher clarity." So I'm getting an upgrade. I'd really rather have my diamond, but I think I can deal with an upgrade. :)

Now, onto your much needed information. Mrs.X starts us off with: where does the phrase "penny for your thoughts" come from?

While I could totally plagiarize an article I found, instead I'll just link you there. According to these folks, John Heywood (born 1497) is credited with the phrase, but in actuality he may only have recorded an already well used term. So I fear the real origins of this phrase may be hidden forever from history.

An anonymous reader asks: What causes the nauseous feeling when men get hit in the testicles?

First of all I should state that Husband is currently threatening anonymous with bodily harm for asking me questions about male genitalia. Secondly I should state that while I can find a good bit of evidence that this is truly the case (and not some odd thing men like to pretend happens), I can find absolutely no information on why it happens. Sorry.

Art wants to know what super fly means & where the term came from.

It doesn't really mean anything in particular. It's a movie title. A movie one should probably never reference...ever. It's about a cocaine dealer named Priest who wants to make one more big score before leaving his life of crime. Wikipedia says, "Super Fly's glorification of drug dealers serves to subtly critique the civil rights movement’s failure to provide better economic opportunities for black America. The movie’s portrayal of a black community controlled by drug dealers serves to highlight that the initiatives of the civil rights movement were far from fully accomplished." So maybe I shouldn't encourage my kids to call Art "Super Fly"....

Inkling needs her own information desk. She starts off with: Do you have any idea if the baby in one's uterus is shaking like a leaf and saying, "What is going on in here? What is happening to me?" in a really scared voice when his/her mommy drinks one small cup of caffeinated coffee? My husband is sure that this is the case, but my intestines are hoping it is not the case. Docs say one cup of coffee a day or 1-2 sodas a day is okay. What do you think?

I think if it keeps the plumbing from backing up, stick with it. If the plumbing gets too backed up, baby's going to think, "Hey, Mom, do you mind if I knock down a wall or two? It's getting really cramped. I have no where to keep my CD collection!" You could always switch to half calf, or maybe one cup of joe every other day. BabyGirl was a zero caffeine baby. The boys indulged infrequently (and you've met them). With Bitsy, I pretty much tossed that all out the window. I needed the caffeine to counteract the hormones & three other kids racing around my house. And you've met her too.

Next she asks: Is there any mental help for an overactive gag reflex? Can they fix it with some sort of behavior modification or some other form of non-drug therapy?

I don't know about mental help, but I know a gigantic grin can stop the gag reflex. Thank you CSI. And I'd hate to participate in any kind of behavior modification to fix it. Ugh.

Her third question is: When do you think you and I will be able to enjoy a margarita or pina colada together without them being virgin?

Let's see...Grasshopper is due in January of 2009....so....let's shoot for Spring of 2013. We'll totally get our mixed drink on then!

Next: Is it possible to have an allergy to putting away laundry, folding clothing, etc.? If so, what are the treatments available, especially for adults who are too old and too far away for their mothers to simply ground them or spank them?

Ah, finally a real excuse for the state of my house. I'm totally allergic to housework! Break out the Benadryl. Treatments? I'd say have your husband to threaten to confiscate a sweater a day for every infraction, but he might actually do it...and then you'd freeze 9 months out of the year.

And finally she asks: If you could actually run away to wherever you wanted for however long you wanted all by yourself, where would you go? What would you do?

I have to say I'd want to make it a world tour of sorts. I'd like to lounge on a sunny beach in the Caribbean. I'd like to see the Redwood forests. Check out Kork's mountains. Visit Inkling's "Fall Creek Falls on Steroids." I want to see Ireland & England & Scotland. I want to tour Greece and Italy. See the pyramids. Sydney Opera House. There's just too much to list.

And finally, Kork queries: What precisely is in A & D Ointment that gives it the name, why does it have to smell so stinky, and WHY is it the ONLY thing that fixes Tiny Princess' bum rash?

I think it's called that because vitamins A and D are major ingredients. It stinks because it's made with lanolin & cod liver oil (ewww...) and very little fragrance (because who wants that on a sensitive baby bum?). It worked wonders on B.B.'s bum too. I did discover that plain old petroleum jelly worked pretty good on the other kids & didn't stink near as bad. I also like Bordeaux Butt Paste (but it doesn't smell great either).

Have I mentioned #1 Son is now running a fever & napping? And B.B. just went to take a nap...voluntarily. I'm not holding out much hope for him feeling good when he wakes up.