February 5, 2008

My boys

As I was getting on line to write this post, I caught B.B. trying to breastfeed his sister. She wasn't happy about it, but he was insistent that she needed "B.B. bites." He's convinced that drinking milk out of his sippy cup makes milk in his bosoms for him to feed the baby with.

That boy...what can I say about him. He is different. He is his own man. Last night he was Sonny Corleone. It all began with Oreos. He wanted on in the worst way. I was not about to give him one as he was already climbing the walls & dinner time was fast approaching.

It began with bribery. Actually it began with a threat from me. He was hanging from Bitsy's swing (his new favorite past time) when I asked him what would happen if he broke it. "I hava' buy her a new one at da grocery store.....But I don't have no dollars." I told him I'd get the dollars out of his bank (this isn't the first time we've been down this road). So when he wanted an Oreo he told me, "If you give me an Oreo, I'll give you da dollars in my bank." Sorry, Charlie. No Oreo. He considered this a moment, walked to the stove, turned on the oven light and said, "If you don't give me an Oreo, I won't shut dis light off." When that line of extortion didn't work he said, "You give me an Oreo or I kill you." During all this I was on the phone with QM. She said, "You may wake up with a horse's head in your bed tomorrow." (Please, click on that link! It's worth it.) Then he took all the alphabet magnets off the front of our little chest freezer & moved them to the lid. He whipped his head around and said, "There! I'm leavin' deese up here until you give me an Oreo!" Then he stomped out of the room. He did not get an Oreo, and as of yet, I am not dead.

A few minutes later he was back. "I want toast. I want two ones of it wif no cwust. If you don't fix me two ones of toast, I'll 'ptshew' you. (I think that involves shooting webs at me like Spider-Man) I'll get the icing (B.B. speak for cinnamon & sugar)." While I was making his toast he informed me that he will be my boyfriend. I said, "Oh good. Then you'd better give me a kiss." "No. Not now. I'll be your boyfriend in three hours, when Daddy comes home from work."

As he was eating his toast QM said B.B. & HT would make a good pair. B.B. could eat the toast & HT could eat the crust. I told B.B. that & he replied, "HT tan't have my cwust. Him is at him's house." I told him HT's at Grammy & Pa's. "Oh. Aunt Princess likes HT & him is a boy."

When he finished his toast I told him to go wash his hands. "First I hava' lick da icing off dem. When you was a boy and dere was two toastes den you did this too." I told him I've never been a boy, but he disagrees.

As the boys were getting in the tub last night we were discussing little girls in #1 Son's preschool class. There's a Bitsy in his class who's always very interested in what #1 Son is up to. He told me, "She thinks I love her. I don't love her. She's just my friend." Then B.B. piped in, "I'm married to Ariel. Her goes a my school & her has a red tail but her got dead by a car. I'm married to Baby Bitsy too."

Then the conversation turned to Valentines day & the cards #1 Son & BabyGirl have to give their classmates. They've decided to share their cards with each other. That way BabyGirl can give the boys in her class Spider-Man Valentines & #1 Son can give the girls in his class Hannah Montana Valentines. I said that was a good idea & #1 Son wanted to pick out the card he was going to give himself. I told him he was supposed to give the cards to the kids in his class, not keep them for himself. "Well, who's going to give me a black Spider-Man one?" I said I didn't know if he would get one, but someone else would probably give out Spider-Man cards. "But what if someone gives me a girly Valentine?" I tried to explain that most girls gave everyone girly cards. Suddenly he shouted, "That's it! Then I am not going on that day! I am not going because someone might give me a girly Valentine & I don't like girly things, I only like boy-ie things!!"

Oy.

1 comment:

Ang said...

oh my..that's serious business at your house. good luck with valentines..

We're having friendship party here and making ice-cream sundays. Got the email today to please come help only one other mother will be there and she doesn't help as much as I do..Oh and she's (the teacher) is gone to california that day..So I'd be helping the substitute.