A day with no fighting. No screaming. No hitting. No biting. No pushing. No yelling. No throwing. No arguing. No stealing of one and other's toys. No invading of personal space. No breathing on one and other. No looking at one and other. No touching of each other's prized possessions. No arguing about what's on the menu. No choking. No stomping of siblings lying prone on the floor. No smacking. No poking. No pinching. And not a single, "I HATE YOU!" or, "YOU'RE A STUPID HEAD!" (neither phrase is approved for use in this house, but both seem to pop up with irritating regularity).
To not have to say:
Quit jumping off the furniture!
Don't hit your brother!
Please put your underpants back on!
Give your sister back her Blue Bear!
Don't stand in front of the TV!
Get off the table and Eat your macaroni!
NO, eat it with your fork...not your face! You're not a dog.
If you lick the carpet again, you're in serious trouble! (yup, I said that last night)
ABSOLUTELY NO BITING!!!!
No, you cannot have another Oreo!
Quit climbing up on the toy box to get to my flashlight!
Please put your underpants back on!
No climbing in the windows!
Why are you screaming?
Who let B.B. in the bathroom?
I SAID PUT YOUR UNDERPANTS BACK ON!
No, we can't go outside, it's raining...I don't care if you do wear a hat, it's like a monsoon...no, a jacket won't help either...I know we have umbrellas, but you're still not going out, there are tornado warnings!
Where are your underpants?
Your brother doesn't want to play fairy princesses!
Larry-Boy, your sister doesn't want to be rescued!
You are not his mother!
I love you too, but you cannot have jelly beans for lunch!
Don't bite the dog! What's wrong with you?
Why is there "Big Water" in the toilet?!
Leave each other alone! Do not talk to each other! Do not look at each other!
Oh, for the love of Pete! Just go in your rooms and sit quietly with a book before I have a total nervous breakdown!
I don't want you to think I don't adore my kids, but of late, they've been a little hard to handle. Maybe we can rack it up to Spring Fever, or the phases of the moon, but I'm more inclined to think my kids were switched at birth with the wild children of Borneo. Somewhere in Borneo there are three very well behaved children that belong to me...
CALGON TAKE ME A WAY!
4 comments:
I hate to laugh at your unease but well..... you write it in such a funny manner, that I cannot help but smile.
Wait I can't find my underpants. :) Hang in there.
OH, Pilot! You have issues! :)
Zann, it's ok to laugh at my pain. That's why I write about it!
Farm Wife I really wish that you would not stand outside my windows and hear me yelling that stuff at my kids. It really must be in the air.
Yesterday I got to go to Terre Haute in the PM with my friend MEi Mei's mom. It felt odd to eat and not hav to
1. feed anyone else -Yin
2. Tell anyone to set down-Yuri
3. Take anyone to the bath room-Yuri
4. Hear anyone complain about how long it was taking to get sthe food.- Rudy
Hang in there!
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