Vacation in bullet points because I'm too tired for anything else

• drove 4 hours to Lexington to find out the hotel pool was closed & we had to entertain the FarmHands all evening in a 2 room suite. Thank the Lord for DVD players & Narnia movies.


• drove 3+ hours to Sieverville, TN to visit Knife Works with in-laws. Could have stayed another hour easily, but these folks see stuff fast.


• took FarmHands to Wonder Works in Pigeon Forge. LOVED it...all except for the glow-in-the-dark rotating entrance. Seriously messed with my head. FarmHands had a blast!


• checked into cabin & unloaded the boat load of junk it takes to shuttle this group anywhere.


• went to Dixie Stampede for dinner & show. LOVED it (especially watching the FarmHands' faces when the girl rode 2 horses at once standing up!).


• got horribly ill the last 5 minutes of the show (possible food poisoning from the night before) and spent the rest of the night wishing I could die.


• decided that when day light came, I was calling my daddy and making him come get me & take me back to Illinois (it was about 3 am at the time)


• woke up the next day & felt a tiny bit better. Decided to delay Dollywood one day & see the aquarium instead.


• drove a short distance (thank goodness) into Smokey Mt. National Park and saw the view from a lookout point then headed into Gatlinburg.


• went to see Christ of the Smokies ($5 all day parking if you're ever in the neighborhood) & found a painting I wanted for over our fireplace until I realized the price tag read $125 and not $25.


• Went to The Big Blue Aquelium (that's what HT calls it) and LOVED it (I'm really LOVING a lot of stuff today, aren't I?). My stomach wasn't so happy about all the wavy moving water, but I still really enjoyed it.


• Slept like a rock after a dose of Dramamine


• DOLLYWOOD!!!!! This was the FarmHands' first trip to an amusement park of any kind. I will leave it entirely to your imagination...but they LOVED it (see?).


• Thursday we drove 4 more hours to Cave City, KY to meet up with my parentals, Princess, Axl, and HT to do Dinosaur World (the greatest place in the entire universe) for Princess's birthday.


• Slept much less like a rock but still decently.


• Hit Mammoth Cave twice with a stop at Applebee's & Wal-Mart in between. Ate pot roast & chicken at the cabins thanks entirely to Mama & Daddy then set things on fire with my sister (in the fire ring...don't freak out).


• Drove home

Yes, I am still recovering. Yes, we had a great time. Yes, I was ready to be back in my bed.

Yesterday BabyGirl turned ten. That makes me feel old. I cannot believe I've been a mother for an entire decade. I still have no idea what I'm doing.

Husband is back to work today. The pool is up. It's hot. I can't quit sneezing. The cicadas are swarming. We're running out of Popsicles. I'm pretty sure it's summer (solstice or not).

The beginning of a long, long, long week.

Tomorrow we leave on vacation.

Yes, I know we're certifiable leaving in the middle of Memorial Day weekend, but it just happened this way. Don't judge.

This vacation has taken on a life of it's own. Back in January (maybe) Husband started talking about taking the FarmHands to Chattanooga to see the aquarium & Look Out Mountain. I was all for it. He suggested we call QM & Daddy to meet us there, stay a few nights, then go back up to their house as a stop on the way home.

Just as vacation time was being set aside & hotels were being searched for, MIL and FIL asked if we'd like to meet up with them in Gatlinburg at their time share during that week. A few weeks & a lot of morphing later & we're starting our trip off with them & finishing it off with QM & Daddy, Princess, Axl, & H.T. in Cave City, KY.

This is the part of the post where I beg for prayers. Prayers for patience, for a total lack of motion sickness, for a safe journey, for a pleasant time, for calmed tempers all around, for good weather, for precise navigation, and for fun. Things can be tense with the In-Laws (please, no snide remarks in the comments about this) but I know the kids really need this time with their grandparents. I'm praying that this week comes with a bit of healing between Husband and his father (that's been a strained relationship for years) and a lot of calmness for me. I'm also praying that HT & Bitsy love Dinosaur World as much as the older FarmHands did last time we were there. There's been some serious build-up to it.

I really am looking forward to this trip. Tomorrow night we're staying in Lexington in order to split the 8 hour drive to Gatlinburg in half...then after that it's time to Vacation like there's no tomorrow. Dixie Stampede, Dollywood, an aquarium, caves, dinosaurs, mountains and no less than 5 Google Maps printed in preparation.

In conclusion, please pray for us all...and if you get bored while I'm gone, you can check out the last time we went on a grand adventure:
Vacation: Take One
Vacation: Take Two
Vacation: Take Three
And finally: Things I learned on vacation

Hmmmm, I wonder if The Golgotha Fun Park is still for sale.

Ringing in the New Year- FarmHands Style

Most people get dressed up, go to a party with friends, sip Champagne, and belt out Auld Lang Syne to ring in the new year. Not us. We fight over the Wii, put the kids to bed at a semi-decent hour, and veg out to Criminal Minds on the DVR. We also miss the actual change over not noticing it's 2011 until 12:25 am. Yeah, we are party animals.

Today we've spent the day playing Wii, fighting over the Wii, playing card games, fighting over card games, watching videos, and fighting over nothing. Anyone see a pattern here?

Yesterday Husband decided we should go to Wal-Mart to look for a new Wii controller (to use in my Zumba belt) and jeans for him. The trip was almost productive. In reality, he needed 3 pairs of jeans but instead we came home with one pair, a Wii controller, and Mario Kart for the kids. Oh, and did I mention the fighting all the way home?

I think the Ramones were on to something when they rocked out with I Wanna Be Sedated. I'm counting down the hours until Monday morning when I can pack 3/4 of them off to school. I know, I know, I'm a horrible mother. I should revel in the screaming, but alas, instead it just makes me want to double up my Prozac.

Actually we have had a lot of fun this week. We've laughed a lot. We've played a lot. We got to spend a lot of time with QM and Daddy and an afternoon with Uncle Gick & Unkie Di and their extended family. We visited with Uncle E and Aunt C. The kids ran around and played outside 2 days this week (60 degrees on December 31st!). I'm getting into my Zumba groove again (I LOVE this game. If you have a Wii I highly suggest it. The game will set you up on a work out calendar or you can wing it. And you can stumble about in the privacy of your own home instead of in front of 25 total strangers. So far I've worked out 20 minutes a day all but 2 days since Christmas Eve). We've watched a lot of Doctor Who. We've watched the Back to the Future movies. We've been ultra competitive playing Gamewright games (LOVE them, too).

But I am ready for Monday. I'm ready for more than 10 minutes of peace and quiet at a time. I'm ready to turn in my referee whistle. I'm ready for my house cleaning to count for something instead of being demolished immediately after I've finished.

I'm ready for 2011.

And Deliver us from Christmas Vacation.....

I'm terrified. My phobia does not revolve around spiders, heights, or snakes. It's entirely hinged on the idea of my children being stuck in my house for 2 weeks at Christmas break.

You see, they've lost their ever lovin' little minds. They've spent the last few weeks trying to kill each other. Everyone hates everyone else. No one ever does anything wrong. Every bad thing is someone else's fault. The thought of having them all in the house 24 hours a day for 2 weeks is daunting.

Every morning, Bitsy and I get the kids up, get them ready, and drop them at school. Then Bitsy, Husband, and I have a fairly quite day. Husband sleeps. Bitsy watches Max & Ruby. I do my chores, surf the web, read, catch up on Criminal Minds, or nap on the couch. The only time we argue is when Husband tries to kiss me & Bitsy must intervene ("No! My Mommy! No kiss my mommy!").

When the bus pulls up at a few minutes after four, the peaces is promptly shattered. Three kids scream their way up the drive way and into the house leaving a wake of shoes, jackets, back packs, and lunch boxes behind them. They each have a shoe box and a coat hook that they always seem to forget about. The next hour is spent arguing over snacks, homework, candy, who touched whom, and anything else they can think up to fight about.

I'm wondering how much a full time Nanny would cost us over the holidays. Or some kind of seasonal boarding school for delinquents. Or even an ex-Marine drill Sergent. Yeah, I like that last idea a lot.

How long does it take to recover from vacation?

More than three days, apparently.

I am flat worn out, and my vacation was 10 hours of driving and a full day less than Art's. I don't know how she's functioning. She really is amazing.

I am so glad we went, even if I didn't get much sleep. My toe nails still look fabulous after our trip to the nail salon (note to future manicurists: if you act like you're doing me a huge favor by allowing me to pay you to massage my feet, you can pretty well kiss your tip good bye....and if you get up and walk away from my friend after starting hers first, you will definitely miss out on a good tip. You may very well be in the wrong profession. You kind of have to be a people person to make a living as a manicurist....I'm just sayin'.), I have a small stack of books to keep me busy when I finish the book I'm currently on thanks to an awesome resale shop Diana took us to, and I have SNL skits stuck in my head after hours of watching them on Hulu with the girls.

But most of all, I got to spend hours talking to & laughing with Art on the first road trip we've taken together in years. I got to laugh and cry and laugh some more with Diana as she told us what a wonderful man her Justin was. I am amazed at her ability to share her feelings no matter how raw they may be. Most people, six months after the loss of a loved one would answer with a generic, "I'm fine," when asked how they are doing. Diana will tell you she's fine if she is at the moment. She'll tell you otherwise if she is otherwise at the moment. We could all be in tears one moment and laughing out heads off the next.

On the way to Diana's, Art and I stopped by Grandma & Grandpa M&M's house. This coming weekend they are moving into an assisted living apartment. That means a massive downsizing of their belongings. QM, Aunt Silverbell, and Inkling's mother had been working on packing and sorting their belongings all week. It's was really hard to see their lives and belongings reduced to what will fit in a 700 square foot apartment, but on the same hand I'm also glad things are happening the way they are.

Grandma and Grandpa will be somewhere where they will have the help they need when they need it. We don't have to worry about Grandpa falling and Grandma not being able to get him up or him having to lay and wait for someone to get to the house to help. I love the fact that Grandma and Grandpa are still here. That we are not dividing up their possessions because we've lost them. I love that they will know that the things they've worked so hard for and held so precious will be loved and cared for by those that love them.

It's been a hard week, but the blessings have far outweighed the costs.

The Fun is Coming

You may remember earlier in the year when I asked you to be praying for my friend Diana and her husband Justin. Justin died after suffering serious complications from a surgery. Diana is a pre-k teacher and soon after Justin's death, she was told she wouldn't have a job this year. To say she's had a rough year would be the understatement of that particular year.

Art and I have been trying to arrange our schedules so the two of us could travel up to see Diana since February or March. Finally, here near the end of June, we're making the trip. We're driving up Friday and coming back to my neck of the woods on Saturday. I know parts of this trip will be hard. Diana is hurting. We hurt for her. But we are going to do and be what ever she might need. Please pray for us in that.

That being said, I am crazy excited about this weekend. Art and I get to spend hours in the car together and that normally involves hours of laughing and singing and being silly. Once we get to Diana's, I know there will be even more laughing and silliness. As Truvy would say, "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion." I fully expect that. And I fully expect feeling like I've done 10,000 sit ups by the time we get home Saturday night. That's how I always feel after spending the day laughing with (and at) Art.

And to top it all off, this is my first real night away from the kids. I've been away from up to three of them at a time taking B.B. to The STL for his surgery last spring and taking QM home to TN when Daddy was in the hospital last summer. But I have never been away from all four children at once for "frivolous" reasons. To answer your question, No, I am not going to spend any time moping and crying because I miss my children. I love them, but a break is long past due.

QM is coming here to hold down the fort in my absence. Husband and I were discussing sleeping arrangements. We do not have a guest room. We do not have any extra beds. We are not really equipped for overnight guests. QM will be taking BabyGirl's bed in the room the girl's share. BabyGirl will be sleeping in my bed with her dad. Bitsy isn't happy with this arrangements. She thinks her Grammy should sleep in Mommy's bed where Mommy sleeps.....with Daddy. Daddy and Grammy disagree.

I can't imagine why.

And the peace is shattered. But that's OK with me.

BabyGirl came home from her big adventure last night. Bitsy was ready to go pick her up at Uncle Gick's house before they'd even made it through the state of Kentucky. B.B. was nearly as excited. #1 Son couldn't have cared less. He wanted to show her that he lost his remaining top front tooth while she was gone, but past that, he had little use for her.

BabyGirl came across the yard with her new suitcase in tow. Grammy decided she had outgrown the bright pink Tinkerbell suit case Unki Di got her for her fifth birthday so she got her a really cute brown and cream toile carry on. Mama might just steal it. Mama Loves her some toile. Yes, there's something wrong with me. Stealing luggage from my nine year old daughter. (The picture inset is not BabyGirl's new suit case fabric, but I liked it & wanted toile....sue me.)

Bitsy was thrilled because that means the bright pink Tinkerbell suit case is now hers. And it doesn't get much cooler than pink & Tink when you're three.

BabyGirl also brought home some apolstry fabric she and Art's Syd picked out on a shopping trip with QM. I've been drafted into making some throw pillows for the girls. Once I get them finished, the girls may have to pry them from the cold dead hands of their mothers before they can put them on their beds. I'm really loving this fabric!

When BabyGirl is gone, things can get a bit.......well.....calm around here. She has a short fuse. I think she was born that way. She does not deal well with people having their own opinions especially if they differ from her own and especially if said people are her brothers.

So far, things have not been too bad, but I have had to call her out on her behavior a few times. That's not to say the boys don't fight when she's gone, but BabyGirl can become the lighter fluid some crazy person is spraying on the already blazing campfire.

That being said, I'm still glad she's home. I missed her. I missed her willing help with chores I'd rather avoid. I missed getting to laugh with her at Bitsy's antics. I missed listening to her come up with games for the other FarmHands to play. I missed kissing her good night (when she allows it). I'm so glad she's secure enough to spend the week with her Grammy & Pa, but I'm also glad when she comes home.

Time Changes Everything

Last year, BabyGirl made her first trip to TN to stay with Grammy & Pa all by herself. Early on in her stay, Grammy taught her how to dial our phone number (she'd never dialed long distance on her own). She started calling me multiple times a day. On a slow day I got 3 calls. And she never really had much to say. She was just checking in to be sure we hadn't secretly moved while she was on vacation. One time she called & had so little to say that she tried to put Art's Syd on the phone to talk to me. HT often had to fill that spot.

This time, it's an entirely different story.

She talked to us twice her first day and hasn't called since. Bitsy needed to talk to BabyGirl last night, so we called her. The conversation when something like this:

BabyGirl- Hi, Bitsy!
Bitsy- Hello, BabyGirl!
BabyGirl- How are you?
Bitsy- Me good. Bye.
BabyGirl- Ummm...Bye.
Bitsy- (to me) Ha, ha! Mommy, BabyGirl say 'bye' me. Ha, ha!!

I got back on the phone with BabyGirl.

Me-Hey, Baby. Are you having a good time at Grammy's?
BabyGirl- Hi Mom. Yeah. We're having fun. I'm watching TV and playing on the computer.
Me-I'm glad.
BabyGirl- I have to go now, Mom. Grammy's trying to do something on the computer and she doesn't know how to do it. I have to go help her. Bye.
Me- Bye, Baby.
*click*

Yup. She hung up.

QM called me back a few minutes later thinking Bitsy had hung up the phone. I told her BabyGirl said she needed help. They were setting up a favorites folder so BabyGirl could find her favorite websites on Grammy's computer. That cracked me up because BabyGirl doesn't get on line at home....at all. At Grammy's she's quite the little Internet surfer.

By next year I'll just get text messages: hi mom-2 bzy 2 tlk-ily-ttyl <3 BG

Summertime and the living is Tech Free.

It may not technically be Summer yet, but none the less, Summertime is in full swing on the farm. The kittens are all old enough to spend the majority of their time underfoot and climbing the steps to my porch. The sheep are being sheared (slowly but surely by Husband). Sunblock is applied to four squirming bodies before they burst out the back door. Popsicles are in high demand. Band-aids are the fashion accessory of the season. Swimsuits are the wardrobe item of choice. Weeds are growing nearly as fast as the corn in our garden. Fireflies are the evening's entertainment. Food preparation happens at night, when it's the coolest, or is restricted to anything that does not involve turning on the stove. Very little time is spent indoors & then it's usually only during times for bathing, sleeping, or when it storms.

For the first time in years I've broken my No A/C before June rule. Happily. My feet are permanently tattooed in flip-flop tan lines. My toenails are painted a bright, almost shocking pink. I'm considering buying Wal-Mart out of sundresses and I am beyond thankful for the invention of clothes line.

I love summer.

And that Tech Free Tuesday business I failed so miserably at this winter? It's decided to come back with a vengeance and liberally pencil it's self into my summertime schedule. Whether I like it our not.........I like it......don't tell.

Syd + BabyGirl = No need for Mama

I only got one call from BabyGirl yesterday & that wasn't until after Syd went home. Today BabyGirl & Grammy & HT have big plans to see the local sights.

Yesterday I tackled BabyGirl's bedroom. That led to an all day allergy attack that even Zyrtec couldn't tame. Who knew the vast amount of crap an 8 year old can pile in her room?! Since there were no witnesses to rat me out (the boys were watching The Pink Panther 2 in the living room), I threw out all the precious & wonderful scraps of paper she'd ever drawn a check mark on, the plastic hangers clothes come home from the store on, nearly shredded birthday cards from 3 years ago, and other odds & ends. I only hope she doesn't notice when she gets home Saturday.

In other news, today is Bitsy's "Birthday Eve" as the FarmHands call it. I cannot believe our baby will be 2 tomorrow! She's been telling us she's two for the past 3 months. We promised BabyGirl we wouldn't celebrate Bitsy's birthday until she gets home. The boys are worried about this, but I've assured them Bitsy won't notice the difference. Husband told them we could order pizza Friday & save the cake & presents for Saturday. I think that's a good idea since we haven't bought a single gift & I've got to pick up stuff to make her cake tomorrow at the store. We really are bad parents. ;)

Syd & Nancy BabyGirl

My phone rang shortly after nine last night. It was Art. "Our daughters are having a sleep over tonight!" That is so awesome! BabyGirl's never had a sleep over with a friend before & the idea that her first one is with my best friend's daughter makes my day.

Art said they skipped right over the shyness & went straight to cheerleading. Art's Syd is a full blown, competitive cheerleader & is really good at it. BabyGirl went to cheer camp last fall at school. I was pretty sure they'd both jump on that commonality very quickly.

I've heard they nicknamed themselves "The Cheer Girls" and were teaching each other routines & preforming for Art & The Queen Mother. Lu-Lu, Syd's oldest boy, was planning on being chased a bit by BabyGirl (something they did when he was up here visiting a few years back), but I fear he may have been ignored because of the novelty of his sister.

If the girls behave themselves, they're spending the day together & QM will take them over to Art's today so BabyGirl can play at Syd's house.

Oh to be a fly on the wall in that bedroom last night.....

The Adventures of BabyGirl at Grammy's House

First off, the child knows how to use the phone. :) She called three times yesterday (twice to leave messages on the machine while we were swimming at Uncle E's), and three times today....so far. I asked QM if she showed BabyGirl how to use the speed dial, but she said no, she's dialing on her own. QM said she may have created a monster. I got a bit concerned by all the calling, but QM said she gets bored for a minute & needs to check up on us.

BabyGirl is really enjoying herself. No brothers to argue with, no mom to nag her, Grammy to buy her Orange Crush and "Cap'n Crunch without the crunch berries...and it's in a box that even says 'Cap'n Crunch'!" (as opposed to the bagged cereal I always buy with the crunch berries everyone else wants). They stayed up late watching High School Musical 3 last night & BabyGirl slept late with no loud siblings to wake her up....although HT was there & he may have had a hand in it. Today they're "cutting a watermelon in half and eating it with spoons!"

Looks like she's settled in to spend the week happily with her Grammy & Pa. She's planning a sleepover with Art's oldest, Syd....which I'm sure will leave my mother exhausted & sick to death of cheerleading in all forms, but the girls will have a blast!

On the home front, the boys keep telling me that they miss her, but they still don't love her...or so they tell me. There have been "When is BabyGirl coming home" tears shed, but they were attributed to light getting in their eyes, not sadness. There's been a noticeable decrease in screaming & fighting, but it's not gone all together. I'm not sure if the boys have figured out what to do without being bossed by big sister. There hasn't been a single princess, baby born, or set of dead parents in a game since Sunday. There have been lots of Pink Panthers, Scooby-Doos, and kick boxing matches.

Bitsy tells everyone BabyGirl is "Bye-bye, Pa." She thinks it's great fun being the only girl.

I'm missing my girl, but not horribly (does that make me a bad mom?). Mostly, I'm so very glad she decided to go!

One Small Step for BabyGirl, One Giant Leap for Her Mama

BabyGirl is leaving in the morning with her Grammy & Pa to spend a week in Tennessee. She's never been away from home for more than one night. I've never been away from any of the FarmHands for more than 3 nights in a row & most of those were spent in the hospital delivering siblings. I'm sure we'll all be fine.

BabyGirl is stoked. When it was first suggested that she go home with them, she was very unsure. Then she decided not to go. After a few hours, she changed her mind & we started packing. She is busily planning a week sans siblings. She's very excited to help Grammy watch HT for a few days.

I flip flop a great deal on this one. I'm so excited for her. I'm so glad she decided to go. I'm glad she's being brave. I'm looking forward to more time to spend with the boys & a few less fights. I'm nervous about being so far away from her for so long. But I'm pretty sure once the week is over I'll wonder where it went.

Growing up, I spent many, many weeks away from home. It wasn't a huge deal to find us spending a week with this aunt & uncle or a set of grandparents. My kids haven't had the same adventures. Husband is wary of letting them go because of things that went on in his extended family when they were little, so this is a really big step for him. I'm very proud of how he's handling it thus far.

I know my daughter & my parents are going to have a wonderful week & I'm looking forward to hearing all about it when she comes home!

Vacation, vacation

Ahh, it's that time of year again. Vacation planning time. Since last year was the first vacation we've ever taken as a family, I was a tad surprised when Husband started talking vaca again this weekend.

We really only ever have a short list of places to go/things to do. This year we're looking at zoos. Mainly at the Grassmere Zoo in Nashville. I've never been there...at least I don't think I have. They built the "Nashville Zoo" shortly after we moved to TN & Mama & Daddy took us once. After that I think they moved locations. Daddy took BabyGirl to see the ring tailed lemurs when she was two...it was his first time babysitting any of his grands all by himself. Mama & I were at a women's conference in Nashville & we took #1 Son (who was about 4 months old) with us but left BabyGirl with her Pa.

Husband also wants to hit up the giant Bass Pro Shop at Opry Mills Mall since he's never made it there...but I have...twice.

I'm pretty sure if we end up in Nashville for vacation this year, QM & Daddy will be getting another phone call from the FarmHands. "Hey Grammy, do you want to come to the Zoo with me on my birthday?!" Mama, you have been warned.

Almost as good as a cruise

The Queen Mother asked what I did on my "vacation." She must not have been paying close attention since I was at her house...but I'll recap just the same. ;)

Day One (Friday):

• Got up at 4 am & decided to leave since I knew I wouldn't be going back to sleep.
• Picked her up.
• Drove 4 hours to get to the hospital where Daddy was waiting.
• Was told by the kind nurse that Bitsy really wasn't supposed to be in Daddy's room, but we could stay for a while...just not too long.
• Took QM & drove past houses the size of Wal-Mart & wondered why 4 people really needed 6,500 square feet to live in with their two tiny dogs.
• Ate at Logan's Roadhouse (yummy) with QM & Princess.
• Went home & unpacked in the rain.
• Visited with Art at work & met her uncle & cousin.
• Bought windshield wipers.
• Hung out at home with Princess, HT, Axl, QM, Daddy, and Bubba.

Day Two (Saturday):

• Laid around in my PJ's until Mrs.T called & said she was coming to see us.
• Watched Daddy give himself his first insulin injection at home & fight with his glucose meter.
• Went back to see Art at work with Daddy to pick up a rug she had for QM.
• Ate at Ruby Tuesdays (again...yummy) with QM & Daddy.
• Went to Wal-Mart to get Daddy supplies & begin the hunt for a medic alert bracelet.
• Went home & crashed for the afternoon.
• Helped Bubba & Princess wrestle the top of QM's canopy up on the back deck.
• Visited with Bubba, Princess, Axl, HT, QM, Daddy, Art, Syd, Lulu, and Mr.CA.
• Left the rapscallions with QM, took Art & Princess & went to see their houses.
• Came home & crashed again.

Day Three (Sunday):

• Woke up with Bitsy around 7 am.
• Ate turkey bacon for the first time.
• Put Bitsy down for a nap.
• Tried to watch Du Berry Was a Lady with QM, but we both fell asleep on the couches (while Daddy napped in his room & Bitsy in hers...gotta' love family nap time).
• Packed.
• Drove QM past the house Princess & Axl are moving into this weekend.
• Went to see Bubba's apartment.
• Looked for shirts for Grandpa M&M at Sears.
• At at Texas Roadhouse (yummy...more steak).
• Hunted for Medic alert bracelets some more.
• Drove home.

It was action packed & very exotic. I am glad I got to see Bubba, Princess, and Art's homes & Art's place of employment. It's comforting to have a setting to put them all in in my imagination. Oh, and I got Spider-Man kisses from my perfect nephew (his mom holds him upside down & he comes at you with his mouth wide open. It's adorable). Now if only I could convince my brother to hire a maid........

I do have one question for you. What do you call kisses at your house? Sometimes we just give kisses. Sometimes it's "smoochies." Sometimes it's "lovin's." HT gives "sugar." I'm wondering if there are anyother names for those open mouth, slobbery things babies give.

Lessons Learned

These are just a few things I learned (or observed) while on vacation:

• If you drive 4 hours away from home & spend a lot of money to take your children on vacation, the one thing they'll tell everyone they liked best was Chuck E. Cheese an hour from the house.
• If there is a ladder to a sleeping loft in your cabin, someone will fall off of it. (It was B.B. big surprise.)
• The baby's lost hat will be found in a ridiculously obvious place after spending all day with her poor little head exposed to the sun. (We kept her in the shade, her stroller had a sun shade, and I applied copious amounts of sun block to her. The crown of her head ended up a faint shade of pink, but it wasn't bad.)
• You won't discover the best things to do until you are in the car driving home.
• You can buy your kids awesome souvenirs, but in the end they'll like the $2 Frisbee best.
• An MP3 player loaded with classical lullabies is a lifesaver when you're sleeping 6 people in a room & at least one of them snores loudly. (#1 Son snores & I have a habit of listening to him intently instead of relaxing & going to sleep.)
• No matter how much you've been walking lately, pounding the pavement in the Kentucky hills will make your legs hurt.
• A beautiful view from the porch of your cabin is no match for a shallow ditch with two wooden planks laid across it. ("Look, Mommy, a river & a bridge right in front of our house!")
• Living next door to Grammy & Pa means the kids will "need to go over there" no less than 50 times a day beginning at 7 in the morning. And you will randomly look up to discover one child has escaped & gone next door without your knowledge (going to the bathroom becomes an exercise in containment. "No one leaves this house while I am peeing!"). House hopping rocks!
• If your children are scared of coyotes, sending them next door after dark can cause full on panic especially if Grammy's door is locked when they get to the porch. (Poor B.B.)
• Souvenir shopping with a nearly 7 year old is an adventure. "No, BabyGirl, you can't get that stuffed cat. We're at Kentucky Down Under. That cat has nothing to do with Kentucky, Australia, or vacation in general. Pick out something you can't get at Wal-Mart." "But it's the ONLY THING I CAN FIND THAT I LIKE! Please....Please...Please. This cat will remind me of dogs and dogs remind me of coyotes and coyotes remind me of wolves!" "What's that got to do with anything?" "Remember, we saw those wolves here?" "Uh, those were dingos." "Same thing."
• Seeing said dingos will leave you saying, "The dingo ate my baby," all day even though you cannot for the life of you remember what that's from.

And now on to fashion advice picked up on vacation:

• If you plan on going in a cave, pack a sweater or jacket for everyone. The temp hovers in the mid 60's and after being out in 80 degree temps all day, you'll be a little chilled. (Thankfully Husband knew this & planned ahead.)
• Whenever you are buying new shorts, try them on, face away from the mirror in the dressing room, and touch your toes. If your butt shows DO. NOT. BUY. THEM. This tip also works for mini-skirts.
• Never wear sweat pants or shorts with words emblazoned across the butt. I do not want to know that you think your hind end is "Juicy" or that you're "Hot Stuff." And please stop putting your 8 year old daughters in these pants....even if they're "Cheerleaders." You really shouldn't be drawing attention to prepubescent behinds. It's disturbing.
• And please, please, please do not allow your 13 year old daughter to wear her bikini to Chuck E. Cheese. I do not care if she's wearing a pair of sweat pants with it. A bikini is for swimming only. Unless you are grooming her for a career in the adult entertainment industry, you really might want to consider keeping her fully clothed while out in public.

That's enough for today.

Vacation, take Three.

Saturday came much too soon. After all the excitement of the previous two days, we decided to grab a few souvenirs & hit the road. It took a while to pack up all the belongings we'd acquired & clean up our cabin (have I mentioned that I did not once do dishes while we were gone?!?! Husband washed up after every meal. I honestly cannot imagine the last time he did dishes at home. I told him I never planned on coming home...if it means 24 hours of undivided attention from him, constant help with the FarmHands, living next door to my parents, and no dishes, I'm all for vacation living). I'm not even sure what time we left that morning. Not particularly early since the FarmHands all slept past 7 am (Yahoo!!).

We stopped back in at the Dinosaur World gift shop to grab a suit case #1 Son wanted for his birthday, then trekked up the hill side to the Gun Mountain Gift shop to pick up kitchy touristy stuff for RL to say thanks for house sitting, and a cedar jewelry box for BabyGirl. As we headed home Husband and I discovered all kinds of things we'd like to do sometime without the kids in tow. Lost Cave boat tours, A Shaker Museum, Gun Town Mountain Western Show...maybe we'll head back for our anniversary....

The trip home was uneventful until we got to the big city of Effin'bill (as #1 Son used to call Evansville, IN). The kids slept most of the trip, the DVD player never came out of it's bag, and no one had to stop to pee. Just south of Evansville Husband decided we'd hit up Chuck E. Cheese as one last hurrah for our vacation. We didn't tell the FarmHands our devious scheme. When we pulled up in the parking lot, they started squealing almost as much as when they saw the giant dinosaur from the highway two days before.

After an hour and a half at the lair of the giant singing rat, we loaded back up to head for the farm. I got suddenly VERY ill (no, I'm not pregnant....it's a traveling thing) and was not pleasant for the next 45 minutes of the trip. But in the end we made it home safe & sound & much happier for the experience.

The kids have drug all their souvenirs out for everyone who's stopped by & told stories to anyone willing to listen. I'm pretty sure they'll remember this for quite a while (which is good because with gas nearing $4.00 a gallon, we'll not be leaving the yard much this summer).

All my laundry is now done & the house is back in a comfortable state of chaos. Oh, and do you remember the Amazon gift card we were debating about earlier this month? Well, it paid for the tent you see. No one has slept in it, yet. Husband says it's, "Just for playing in," but I beg to differ. What's the point of a tent no one sleeps in?

So now we're back to life in the real world...except school is out & Husband has ALL WEEK OFF!!! I'm glad to be home, but would have happily spent about 3 more days in our little cabin. Now if only I could find time to catch up with all the blogs I missed out on while we were gone.

Pictures: A bag of tumbled rocks we got at Kentucky Down Under (I'm a sucker for tumbled rocks...I really should just get myself a tumbler).

The bracelet I got at Kentucky Down Under. Quartz & gemstones were Everywhere. I think this is the only thing I got for myself. QM & Daddy got me a new charm for my bracelet.

The tent living in my front yard by the crepe mertyl that will never bloom.

My peonies that will FINALLY bloom this year...after 4 years of TLC.

Vacation, take Two.

First off, for those of you who asked: Hannah Montana Mary Janes by Crocs. I think QM got BabyGirl's at Dillards, but I'm not positive. Princess found them & called QM to come see them.

Secondly, please pray for Husband's cousins, Heather & Sam. Their half brother Lee overdosed yesterday & is in a coma. Things do not look good. There is a long history of drug use, but he'd been doing much better the past 2 years or so. There is so much pain, anger, and confusion right now. My heart is breaking for them all. Also, Lee has a son who's around 11 (I think) and a daughter who's about 3. It's so sad.

Now, on with the rest of our story.

Bitsy woke up at about 6 am Friday. Since we were all in one room, that meant we were all up before 7 am. Initial plans were to hit up Kentucky Action Park & spend the day riding the Alpine Slide, bumper cars, the ski lift, playing put-put, bumper boats, and taking a cave tour. I had my doubts as the drive by made it look like a run down carnival in an old parking-lot. We called the desk to check out age requirements & discovered our kids weren't really big enough to do 90% of the things there, so we changed plans.

Instead we headed off to Kentucky Down Under (or as B.B. says, "Tucky Down Unner"). I have to say, this was by far, my favorite part of the trip! If you are ever in the area & have an affinity for animals, please go. It's not a huge place, there isn't a TON of stuff to do or see, but what there is, is mostly hands on. I love getting to do stuff & not just watch (I'd spend all my time at children's museums if I could).



We got to get inside the aviary & feed 250 parakeets, feed a cup of nectar to lorikeets, pet a kangaroo, get in the enclosure with baby emu's, a kangaroo & her joey, and a bunch of wallabies, pan for gemstones, watch baby lambs being bottle fed, and take a cave tour.



While I wasn't thrilled with the idea of a cave tour, it was very fascinating. I'm glad I went in the cave, but will never do it again with very small children. BabyGirl was fine. Bitsy decided to take a nap (which made Husband unavailable to wrangle the boys...since he's the most steady on his feet, he had to hold her). QM & I had a bit of a hard time maneuvering, so adding #1 Son who decided he was done with the tour after the first 15 minutes or so & B.B. who felt no need to either hold hands or stay with one of his adults, it was a bit nerve racking. I'd love to try it again when I only have to worry about myself. That being said, the cave was FULL of formations. I think the guide said there were more formations in that 1/8th of a mile long cave than in the 300 or so miles of Mammoth Cave. It was really cool.



Personally I could have spent all day feeding the parakeets. B.B. flat refused to get in with them the first time we walked by the aviary. He stayed in the entrance & watched for a few minutes, but then decided he'd much rather be outside with his Pa. As we were leaving the park, he changed his mind & did a beautiful job holding the peanut butter & bird seed covered tongue depressor.



QM kept Bitsy with her outside the animal enclosure we went in to pet the kangaroo. I got as far as petting the big boomer (male kangaroo) before Bitsy decided she needed me, so I left BabyGirl with Husband & Daddy and went to get her. The boys decided they weren't staying if I wasn't. I wanted to stay in to see the other critters up close, but such is life with babies.



Kentucky Down Under is the perfect size park for small children. Plenty of shows & activities, but nothing truly overwhelming. We allotted most of our day for it, but you could see it in a couple of hours. Before we left, Daddy bought the kids a bag of sand to sift in a sluice. They dumped their sand in mesh trays and shook them around in the water to find the gem stones in the sand. Last night I washed all the stones up & put them in a square glass Christmas ornament as a reminder. I'll try to post a picture later.



We went back to the cabin for a late lunch and a good rest. Afterwards, we headed back in to Kentucky Action Park to see about taking the kids for rides on the bumper cars only to find out, they were closed (it was only 4:30!!). So was the Alpine Slide, glass blowing demonstrations (which I was dying to see), ski lift, and everything else we planned on doing. We followed QM & Daddy out to Mammoth Cave National Park thinking we'd find a big playground & let the kids romp & run. Turns out, Mammoth Cave is the only national park in existence with no playgrounds!! OK, so maybe not the only one...but seriously, picnic areas, cabins, camp grounds, and no play areas! Ugh.



On the drive home, we noticed a mom & pop joint with a go-cart track, so we stopped in & asked if they were open. After meeting up with QM & Daddy we headed back to the Hillbilly Hound Fun Park so Daddy & Husband could take the FarmHands on trips around the track. Then we headed in to browse through Granny Hounds Bargains & let the kids play ski-ball. At the end of the day, the boys said their favorite thing was playing the alligator version of whack-a-mole in the arcade. Oy!


Then it was back to the cabin for JJ's Barbeque, baths, and Captain Jack on DVD. BabyGirl's the only one who made it through the movie without falling asleep!


On another note, if anyone is looking for a new income opportunity, grab your savings & head to Cave City, Kentucky. You could purchase Hillbilly Hound Fun Park for $249,000. There's also a quaint little family fun operation called Golgotha Fun Park (I kid you not...see the picture) for sale directly across the street from the Kentucky Action Park. If you'd rather do something on a smaller scale, buy a house, stick a sign in the yard, and sell anything you like. Popular options for the area are geodes, large rocks of any variety, quartz, antiques (I use the term loosely as it means anything owned by anyone prior to 1995 in just about any condition), handy crafts (think 1970's macrame) ice, and firewood.

And it was day and it was evening on the second day.

My digital camera battery died early on, so you'll have to wait for me to get copies from Daddy's camera...or get my film developed from my other camera for more pics. Sorry.

Vacation, take One.

I've always heard people say "Home is where the heart is." Truth is, home is where the laundry is. Mountains of laundry.

Vacation was a dazzling success. Especially considering we took 4 children under the age of 7 somewhere we've never been & everyone had a good time. The trip down was fairly peaceful. Everyone had a giant bag of toys, books, & coloring stuff. The DVD player entertained. My Zune kept me happy. Husband drove. It was all good. We even made it without getting lost once & at nearly the exact time we planned.

The fun began when we saw the giant orange "Photosaurus" from I-65 & the kids started squealing, "We're here! We're here! Dinosaur World!!! We're FINALLY at Dinosaur World!!"

QM & Daddy met us at the entrance to Dinosaur World & the fun began. If you have small children or a child over the moon for dinosaurs, I highly recommend Dinosaur World. Even BabyGirl (who had spent the past 3 weeks crying, "But I HATE dinosaurs!") loved it. She must have said, "AAAAWWWE-some," at least 25 time in the first 30 minutes we were there. Forget stopping to read the signs about the dinosaurs, the FarmHands chose to run higgeldy-piggleldy down the dino walk, screeching at each beast in complete amazement. I was not as impressed by the statues (kind of hokey looking at times), but fact of the matter is, it was all worth it to see the kids reactions. Even Bitsy was intrigued by it all.

Husband laughed when I made the kids face away from the camera when I took the first picture. "For your blog?" You know it! I couldn't forget about ya'll for a minute! And through the entire park I thought, "Grace's DK would LOVE this!" I also sent a mental shout-out to Ragged & Cynical as we drove through their neck of the woods.

Luckily Dinosaur World was one of those pay once, come & go as you like places. We made our fist trip around the park, hit up the gift shop for lots of dino-themed goodies, then headed to the cabin to unpack. We stayed at cabins run by the good folks at Kentucky Action Park. Nice little places. There are 5 cabins in all (I think) & we had #2 & #3. QM & Daddy got in theirs early (like 9 o'clock or so), so early check in was no problem (thank the Lord). We sent Husband & Daddy to McDonald's while QM & I settled in with the FarmHands.

The cabins were small, but clean and decently supplied with the necessities. It had a queen sized bed, a bunk bed, and a futon (that you'd have to be crazy- or 6 years old- to sleep on) plus a sleeping loft. The kids LOVED the sleeping loft, so I took all their toys & books up there & left them. It kept them out from under foot & the kids had a hide out all their own. BabyGirl slept up there the first night & on the futon last night. And I was thrilled with the TV being high enough that none of the FarmHands could reach it (not to mention the built in DVD/VCR so we could watch videos & not just fuzzy CW re-runs).

After lunch and a short rest, we packed up #1 Son's birthday cake & went back to Dinosaur World. We checked out the museum, dug through a huge sand table for fossils (they got to pick their three favorites to keep), watched some of the BBC Walking with Dinosaurs movie in the "movie cave," and played on the playground. Then we lit the candles & sang "Happy Birthday" to my big man.

After cake & a good long time on the playground, we headed to the grocery to pick up supplies. Then it was back to the cabin for dinner (thank you for bringing the grilled chicken, Daddy), baths, and bed. Before bed, we took the FarmHands to QM & Daddy's cabin to watch the pictures from the day on their TV. While we were there QM gave me a giant bag from Art. I now have an entire season of Scrubs to veg out with, 6 wonderful books to get lost in, and 7 CD's to rock out to!! Then QM & Daddy gave the FarmHands their birthday gifts.

BabyGirl has the coolest new Hannah Montanah Crocs and flamingo pj's. #1 Son got new dinosaurs & a Sherrif's badge. B.B. has three new Cars (the movie) cars (his birthday isn't until September, but he couldn't be left out). Bitsy has a flashlight that looks like a horse & neighs when you turn it on. And everyone got cards that play music (B.B.'s plays the Superman theme. He didn't even have it out of the envelope before he started singing it).

The boys planned on sleeping over at Grammy & Pa's cabin, but that only lasted until the lights were out & it got real quiet. Husband & I had no more than started settling the girls in when there was a knock at the door. Grammy & Pa brought the adventurers back to sleep "at home."

And it was day and it was evening on the first day.

Pictures: The FarmHands being mesmerized by fiberglass dinosaurs.

The living/bedroom of our cabin.

The sleeping loft with BabyGirl scaling the ladder & #1 Son perched on top.

Our messy kitchen (it was vacation people, give me a break).

A dinosaur trash can....the FarmHands were so facinated by those trash cans. I thought we were going to have to pull someone out of one before the day was over.

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu....

We're about 85-90% packed. Little BIL loaned us his portable DVD player. The house is clean. Beds still need to be made. We're getting there.

Quickly, please pray for #1 Son tonight. He threw up around noon today & three times after that, but has been fine & dandy since 3 o'clock. I'm hoping the monstrous amount of grapes he ate upset his stomach. No fever. No more vomiting since he started eating again almost three hours ago.

And to keep you entertained while we're gone:

Saturday at the cook out, there were 50th B-day decorations. Uncle E & his twin sister, Aunt E, are turning 50 on Saturday (I think). BabyGirl looks at me, looks at the decorations & says, "Mom, are you 50?" It's a good thing she's only 6.

Monday B.B. & #1 Son were discussing their wardrobe choices for vacation. #1 Son wants to wear his green shirt that reads, "Daddy's Big Helper...will work for cookies." B.B. wants to wear his orange shirt that reads, "My parents are exhausted," but he said, "I wanna' wear my orange shirt. It says, 'My Mom & Dad are retired.'" I just knew he was going to say retarded. Either way....Oy.

Thursday B.B. stole my spatula & ran off to his room. I hollered for him to bring it back. He did a few minutes later (not great on the "as I say, when I say" thing). About 2 hours later I went to put some laundry in their room when I noticed the door trim was pulled away from the door frame. I pushed it back to discover it was almost an inch away from where it belongs & pulled out nearly top to bottom. When I asked what happened, he said, "I did dat." HOW? "Wif dat spatula." Oh. Makes perfect sense.