Yahoo for us!

Miss T and I work very hard.  Most of the time.  We clean- a lot.  We spend a good deal of time planning our days in advance.  We lift and tote and inventory and list and shuffle and thaw and pack and organize our days away.  And sometimes we even cook.

This week I made turkey and noodles for around 150 people.  We had carrots and mashed potatoes and home school made hot rolls and some type of canned fruit (which are becoming the bane of my existence). We cooked our rear ends off.  I kid you not- I rolled and cut out more than 16 dozen hot rolls before 7 am. I cooked and stripped down 3 whole turkeys.  We baked almost 30 pounds of carrots (ran out of stove top space so they had to go in the oven- it worked).

The day following we served fish sandwiches.  They came pre-made and frozen.  All we had to do was bake  and bun them along with tri-corner hash browns, baked beans, and canned peaches.

Want to take a guess at which meals got us a giant, community, "THANK YOU!!" from the kindergarten through 2nd grade lunch class?  Which meal resulted in no less than 10 Junior High students coming to the kitchen to sing its praises?  Which meal made the third and fourth graders debate it merits and decide it was nearly the best thing we've yet to cook?

If you guessed the frozen fish sandwiches, you would be correct.

Truth be told, my feelings were not at all hurt.  The past 2 months have taught me that something I love, the kids will dump in the trash and things I won't touch with a 10 foot pole.  I do not take their refusal to eat something personally but I do really love being told they enjoyed something- even when I have little to do with it's actual preparation.

In other good work news- Miss T and I had a visit from the health inspector this week and we aced our inspection.  Not bad for a couple of newbies.

You really don't want to eat that.

In order to work full time at the cafeteria at school (something I hope and pray is in my future), I need to be certified in Food Safety and Sanitation.  It's a 16 hour long class.  I go 2 days a week, 4 hours a night, for 2 weeks.  I'm half way through the course as I write this.  All I can say is that if you're looking for a way to prevent yourself from eating out with any regularity, take one of these classes.  The list of things that can kill you in a restaurant setting is longer than my arm.

We all know about Salmonella and Botulism, but have you ever hear of Hemorrhagic Colitis?  How about Bacillus Cereus?  And Vibrio Gastroenteritis?  Yeah, it's all nasty.  Most of them cause diarrhea and severe abdominal pain.  Listeria can actually cause miscarriage.

It's all a bit overwhelming and more than a bit disgusting.  Especially the lemons they put in your water or iced tea.  But then, the good Lord made our bodies to withstand amazing amounts of abuse and microorganisms.  I only hope he made my mind elastic enough to store all the information I'm going to have to recall for my certification exam on Wednesday.  Any prayers offered would be more than a little appreciated.

I did have 2 days of work this week.  Monday was President's Day and Tuesday, MJ, the cook I've been filling in for, decided to try out her wrist at work.  I called halfway through the school day to ask her a question & she said, "By the way, do you want to work this week?"  Apparently she'd come back a bit too soon.  She's supposed to be off work for 3 weeks but decided it would make her stir crazy to sit home all that time.

I've worked the past 2 days on top of going to my night class.  For a girl who's been a serious homebody for the past 10 years, this has been a massive change.  I'm not sure I've adjusted to it just yet.  Especially not being at work at 6:30 am after getting out of class at 9:50 pm the night before.  I've still got a lot of catching up to do.

But the good news is, I haven't had time to miss the satellite dish being disconnected. The one day I was going to have to sit & do nothing ended up being the day Husband, Bitsy, and I had to go pick up my text book and make a run to Menards so bored was not an option.

So if you're trying in vain to get in touch with me, you'll just have to wait.  I'm a career girl now.  Well, at least for the rest of this week.

Send help, they're all starving.

I did not go to the grocery yesterday. In fact, Husband is going to bring home a gallon of milk after work tonight so we don't have to grocery shop until Sunday afternoon.  Do you have any idea what this means?  It means my children might actually starve to death in the interim.

Yes, we're down to a single frozen pizza (as opposed to the two or three that are normally there). We're completely out of apples.  We only have 2/3s of a box of Gogurt left in the freezer.  There's less than a cup of pancake syrup in the bottle.  We may even run out of Pop Tarts before the day is over.  As you can tell, the situation is rather dire.  As you can also tell, we're totally health nuts when it comes to what we eat (yes, I am a giant liar).

Forget the pounds & pounds & pounds of freshly butchered pork in the freezers. Forget the cans & cans of veggies in the pantry.  Forget the 2 loaves of whole wheat bread in the bread box.  We're running low on chocolate chip granola bars!

My poor children.  I hope they make it through the night.  At least there's still microwave pop corn....like 25 bags of the stuff.  Remind me not to put it on my shopping list.

NOT a retraction.

OK, last night I flipped out a bit. I was extraordinarily frustrated with my oldest, battling a raging headache, tired, and simply done with the day. Unfortunately the day was not done with me. Unfortunately, that's the way the cookie crumbles.

I'm feeling a bit better today & hopefully a bit more ready to tackle Mount Saint Homework when the FarmHands get off the bus. I'm praying their teachers take it easy on them tonight in the knowledge that we're supposed to be at school at 6:30 PM for open house. Having four class rooms to visit with four kids in tow and Husband at work and therefore unable to lend a helping hand or two, I'll probably be there at closing time.

But tonight will be better. So let it be written, so let it be done.

P.S. Honey Wheat Braided Pretzel Twists are really good!

And We're Done.

Mostly. With the Christmas shopping. MIL came and watched the FarmHands today while Husband and I made the mother of all Wal-Mart runs for groceries and gifts. We returned much poorer but loaded down with kid swag out the wahzoo.

Our biggest problem now is that my closet floor is hidden underneath a pile of unwrapped gifts and empty Christmas tree boxes. Oh, and B.B. has decided to randomly burst into tears because we won't let him open, "Just one of my little presents." I'm not sure I can deal with 2 full weeks of his unprovoked breakdowns.

In a moment I'm going to attempt to bake my first (and second) pecan pie. I'm not terribly worried since I have Grandma M&M's recipe to work from. But I do fear I may fall asleep while rolling out my dough. Last night I went into my kitchen at shortly after four and didn't leave it until after nine. I made another batch of pfefferneuse dough, a batch of double pie crust dough, a chicken pot pie, chex mix, & cranberry salad, washed what seemed like every dish in my house, cleaned out the kids games and coloring books cabinet, and took out enough trash to fill a small closet. All while breaking up fights, chatting on the phone, and singing along to REM.

Go me.

Hey, Good Lookin'

Some of you Memoirs Lifers may remember a recipe blog I started a few years back. For anyone new here it's called wha'cha got cookin'? and can be found here. It's sat dormant for the past year or so with the exception of a random post here or there. A few months ago, Inkling asked me to re-link it here at Memoirs. I promised, then promptly forgot. Sorry, cousin.

She gently reminded me in my comments last night, and I hopped right on it. Then I went to check out the site and realized, I just didn't like the looks of it. So today I unveil the new & improved look of wha'cha got cookin'? thanks to shabbyblogs.com (I love shabbyblogs.com as you may have noticed). Please, go check it out & let me know what you think.

And if anyone out there in the blogsphere is interested in joining the cooks posting there, feel free to drop me a line in my comments or email me (found in my blogger profile) and I'll happily add you. Kork can do the same as she's also "in charge" of wha'cha got cookin?

BTW, If you don't like the new look, it's all my fault. I didn't consult Kork when I went hog wild at shabbyblogs.

Kingsford, take me away

I live in the Mid-Western portion of the United States. It's summertime. By law, this means I must grill out a minimum of once a week. If not, I may lose my Mid-West citizenship & be forced to relocate to Arizona. Dry heat or not, I'm not going anywhere the temperature stays in triple digits more than 3 days a year.

When I say "grill out" I mean with a big black bowl full of charcoal, lighter fluid, flames, and smoke. I do not mean one of those mamby-pamby propane gas deals Hank Hill has been trying to pawn off on us since the mid-90's. In my opinion, if you're going to use a propane grill, you might as well stay in your air conditioned kitchen and break-out the latest boxer pimped indoor model. Especially if you're (like some people I know) wrapping every exposed surface of your grill in aluminum foil to make for easier clean-up and fewer grease flame flairs. If that is the case, save yourself the hassle and fry it. I lived in the world of the propane grill for the first few years Husband and I were married. I was not happy there.*

I'd like to say I'm a master of the grill, but in reality, if it's not shaped like a patty, a pork-chop, or wrapped in hot dog casings, I don't mess with it. You will not find me, a la Bobby Flay, grilling summer squash and mangoes with tilapia. I've never attempted to bake a cake in my Char-Broil. I'm not making fresh grilled fruit kabobs for the next family reunion. Porkburgers? Yes. Steaks? Occasionally. Hot dogs? Definitely. Corn on the cob? No way. Maybe I'll expand my horizons, but only when someone else is here to eat it with me. My kids would die before they tried anything not available at McDonalds or Pizza Hut.

I have learned a few things since returning to the world of charcoal.

#1. Grilling is a tough job when you have no depth perception due to clamping one eyelid shut to attempt to keep out the smoke that's making you cry like a 15 year old who just caught her boy friend necking with that skanky girl from biology class at her own birthday party.

#2. If you live among a herd of nearly feral cats, keep a very close eye on your food, cooked or not. If you're not constantly aware of your surroundings your food will mysteriously disappear.

#3. The same goes if you live with beagles and great danes.

#4. You may, occasionally, want to clean out your grill or you will find yourself with a house full of nearly starved FarmHands waiting for you to scrape a years worth of baked on grease from the bottom of the grill before you can light it.

#5. Before cleaning your grill, you might want to bring out a bottle of Dawn. If you forget it, you will be forced to ring your own doorbell and stand on the porch until your husband can bring out the dish detergent so you can scrub your arms to the elbows at the spigot in your yard in a vain attempt to remove the grease you've been scrounging in. Although, if your family is like mine, your children will not realize it's you ringing the doorbell and you can listen through the door as they all run screaming to their rooms to find suitable clothing to put on before the "company" comes in and sees them in their Fruit of the Looms. And that's fun.

#6. Do not let Husband use the grill unattended unless you like your burgers to closely resemble the charcoal briquettes your cooking them over. Forget "cook until the juices run clear." Husband is of the "cook until there are no juices present" school of cooking (it's not his fault, it's genetic). Well done can take on a whole new meaning when he's left to the task. It's the opposite of how he handles a wiener roast. Then your hot dogs may be blackened on the outside but ice cold at the core. There's a reason we have the division of labor we've adopted around here.

#7. Do not put the upper grate back on the grill until you are sure the coals are well lit. Taking the hot metal grate off time after time without getting burned is a task not easily mastered.

Happy Grillin', y'all!

*Please do not take offence at my...well...offensive remarks about gas grills. If you like them, so be it. I'm happy for you. Someone out there must love their gas grills because they sell like hotcakes around here...although for the life of me, I do not understand the draw.

Who needs an abattoir when you have a FarmBoy?

When Husband & I first married, I told him I would only cook meat that came from the grocery safely wrapped in plastic on a neat Styrofoam tray.

That didn't last long.

The next fall, he shot a deer & brought it home to process. To say I was freaked out is an understatement. A 13 gallon trash bag full of deer carcass dumped out in your kitchen sink is not an easy thing for a newly married city girl to wrap her head around. But eventually I hiked up my big girl panties and wrapped butcher paper around it.

11 years later I think nothing of a kitchen full of raw meat. I've even packaged rabbits that were still twitching. That whole "chicken with it's head cut off" thing is not a joke. They go nuts. I have no problem eating pork chops that were walking around our back yard last month & answering to the name "Oreo."

For our anniversary, my lovely, romantic, kind, thoughtful husband bought me a meat grinder. I can't say that went over well. If I'd have gotten him one, that would be a different story. Our big Black Friday purchase this year was a professional food slicer (like the kind they use in the deli). I picked up a vacuum sealing system this year as well. I told Husband he needs to build me a butcher shop in the back yard.

Today we made our first batch of sausage. I can't tell you how it tastes because we haven't tried any yet...but it was kind of fun to make. And of course, by fun I mean messy, greasy, loud, and gross. As Husband pushed the ground meat & seasoning through the food grinder & I filled the bags, we yelled back & forth over the noise of the machine. I told him if it wasn't for the ickyness, hard work, and roar of the grinder, it was almost like quality time.

We really need a date night.

How to eat fried squirrel.

First of all, you must have strong teeth. Very strong teeth. At least if I'm the one cooking it.

Sunday afternoon, I took the boys & Bitsy to Uncle E's on the 4 wheeler so the boys could play with J & Bitsy could scrap book with Beffie & Ray-ray. Bitsy is beginning a lovely collection of scrapbooked pages on her bedroom wall. The girls set her up with all their left overs & help her with her art work. She's very proud of it all.

By the time she was finished & we headed home, Husband & BabyGirl were no where to be found. I had the ATV and both vehicles were still in the drive, so I knew they hadn't gone far. I figured they were at Big BIL's playing with the kids, but I figured wrong. They were squirrel hunting.

They came home empty handed; Husband said it was like walking through the woods with a freight train. The boys were broken hearted because they didn't get to go, so Husband promised to take them at a later date. I voted for one kid at a time...and won (vote is too mild a word in reality).

Yesterday Husband took B.B. out & they came home successful. I was informed that I was to cook the squirrel for dinner last night, and Husband & B.B. took it out to skin & clean it. At one point my son was running around the yard with squirrel feet in his hands.

Having no clue what to do with it, I dredged the furry little thing in flour & fried it up. I think in my desire to avoid food poisoning, I over cooked Rocky. It was tougher than shoe leather. Somehow the boys prevailed & ate half the squirrel between them. BabyGirl & I were unimpressed & Bitsy gnawed on bones excitedly jabbering about her squirrel & Daddy's gun.

So to all you fuzzy little blog reading cuties (of which I'm sure I have a huge following), avoid our house like the plague, or you too will be fried up & served to salivating FarmHands.

A little more inspiration

Remember a while back when I posted about the Storylady, a cry for help, and an international ring of cook book thieves? Today I read the column Mama F (Did's mother) wrote for the Sunday paper using some of the responses to her recipe query for her friend, The Storylady. This is what it spawned:

When Husband & I were dating I found out he wasn't a big fan of cakes. For his first birthday after our wedding, I wanted to surprise him with a special treat. I decided on his favorite sweet, coconut cream pie . I'd never tackled anything like this before, so I asked some of the older ladies I worked with for advice. One friend offered to give me her favorite from scratch, coconut cream pie recipe.

She called me that night at midnight to sneak me the recipe over the phone while Husband was showering (we all worked second shift in a factory at the time). At one point in the telling she said, "When you get to this stage you'll think, 'I have really botched this up. This is horrible!' and you'll be tempted to toss the entire mess in the trash. Don't. Trust me. It will be fine."

That Saturday, while he was gone to work, I gathered my ingredients & started on the pie. It was not as simple as I thought it would be. My friend was right, I was tempted to toss the entire mess in the trash about half way through the process, but I persevered. I even made my first meringue to top it all off. When it came out of the oven, I was so proud!

Husband came home from work & I presented him with his birthday pie. He ate it without saying much & I got antsy. Finally I couldn't stand the suspense & asked him how it was. "Good," was all he said. "Um...how good?" I asked. "Probably my second favorite coconut cream pie," he replied. "OK, that's good. What's your favorite?" I pestered. Husband said his favorite pie was the one his grandmother used to make for him. She passed away 2 years to the day before we were married.

The next day we had dinner with his parents. I told my mother-in-law that I needed her mother's coconut cream pie recipe because it was Husband's favorite. "Well," she began, "you take a box of coconut instant pudding and you follow the directions on the side that say 'To make pie.'"

Needless to say, I have never since made him a coconut cream pie from scratch.

Thank my lucky stars!

The children have gone back to school & not a moment too soon. I really enjoyed not having to shove anyone out the door in the morning, but having 4 children stuck in the house for most of a week was not fun. Had they not returned today I fear blood may have been shed. They were tired of each other's company.

I've spent most of the day recovering from our snow week. The kids spent most of the week playing in BabyGirl's closet. It was a disaster! To be honest, it wasn't in good shape before they got in there. When packing away BabyGirl's outgrown clothes, I was normally so frustrated that everything just got shoved in a Rubbermaid tote & crammed in the closet. As a result, I've been rather unsure of what exactly Bitsy is going to have to wear when she moves up a size.

Much to my surprise (and delight) she is well supplied in the 24 month to 2T department. I know this because I've spent the past 2 hours up to my eye balls in little girl's clothes. Cute clothes, but more clothing than I ever want to sort through again. I've now sorted & clearly labeled 24 months to 5 T clothing, tucked the coats away in a different tote (because they never fit when they say they will), cleaned out a pile of old socks & never worn panties, and am washing quite a few tiny little jumpers with matching turtle necks. I even found one Grandma M&M made for BabyGirl when she was 2. I was so excited I nearly cried!

Now the task is to keep the FarmHands out of the newly organized & excessively neat (if seriously crowded) closet. Perhaps I should put a dead bolt on the door.

Wanna' know a secret? Last night, the kids had fish sticks & fries for dinner. Husband & I had fillet mignon. We're so spoiled.

Riding the wave.

I feel good today. I feel really good. I am not in pain. I am not ill. My kids are playing outside in the sunshine. There's a little brunette with the prettiest blue eyes lounging on my lap, sucking her fingers & tugging at the damp hair curling around her ears.

We've been to a well baby check that went smashingly (Bitsy's in the 25th percentile for weight for her age and the 50th for height). Then off to Wal-Mart to spend some time before my dentist appointment. I picked up a new base for our Christmas tree for $3.75 and plastic tumblers for the FarmHands to use now that they're easing away from sippy cups for 4 for 50 cents.

The stitches came out of my mouth in seconds with no gagging. My doctor (have I mentioned that the first time I saw him he was wearing a Harley Davidson belt buckle & talking to a man from his church outside my exam room? I do really like my dentist. And that's seriously saying something for me) said the lingering numbness in my tongue & teeth is probably slight nerve damage & the feeling should return long before the estimated 6-12 months I'd heard.

After that we headed to the much anticipated Dairy Dee for ice cream & stuffed potatoes. When we drove up the parking lot looked horribly empty. That's when we noticed the ticker in front that read, "Closed for the Holidays. Will re-open Jan. 5." Boo! I was devastated (although I thought it was really awesome that they shut down so the teenagers that work there could spend the holidays & their school break being kids instead of working away at an ice cream place...don't even get me started on the movies being open on Christmas Day. We went one year & I felt horrible about it. Never again). Instead we headed to Hardee's for lunch.

I wasn't happy with the choice, but we didn't see any other fast food joints & needed to get back on the road. I grudgingly ordered a 1/3 lb. bacon cheese burger & can I just say, Oh. My. Word? That was a good burger!! I was shocked. I've never liked Hardee's. Haven't eaten at one in years & years. Now I'm wishing we had one close by! I even came home & emailed them to let them know how much I enjoyed my burger. You may call me a dork if you like. I won't hold it against you.

Now I have the day to pick up around the house, catch up on the chores that have been horribly neglected in the past 10 days, and look forward to a promised Family Date Night with Husband & all the FarmHands. Sometime this week we're going to go see The Tale of Despereaux at a matinee, then hit up Pizza Hut with the kids' Book-It certificates, and drive through the park to see the Christmas lights before they come down.

It's been a good way to start the week.

FarmWife Answers: Christmas Edition

Welcome to the first every Ask FarmWife: Christmas Edition. I'm here to answer all your holiday questions! Zann begins the fun with a wonderful question: if you could choose a celebrity chef to cook your Christmas dinner and desserts who would you choose?

Hands down, no doubt about it, Alton Brown. I love Alton Brown. He is, by far, my favorite "celebrity chef." And to top it off, he's southern. A southern boy who can make his Nana's biscuits. I'm all about that. I would love to spend a day watching him whip up wonderful, home cooking in my kitchen while he' explains all the technical aspects of corn starch to me.

Inkling starts off with: What story intrigues you more about the origins of our Christmas trees and Yule logs....Boniface or Martin Luther? Why? Do you believe one more than the other?

Um...yeah...what? OK, this is when I admit, I know little about either. Heard the names before. Can't say I've ever heard the Christmas tree credited to Martin Luther. I'm off to google. Be back in a jiff.

*Pause*

OK, I'm now up to date on Christmas Tree Legend. I have to admit, Boniface has the better story. According to one telling he stumbled upon a group of pagans (Thor worshipers) about to sacrifice a child in front of a sacred oak tree. In his anger he (this is where the story differs a bit) either knocked the tree down with a single blow or was assisted in toppling the giant oak by a strong, miraculous wind. As soon as the tree was down, an evergreen sprung up in it's roots & Boniface made the connection between an evergreen & everlasting life.

Martin Luther, on the other hand, was wandering through a woods on a snow Christmas Eve. He was dazzled by the snow on the branches & starlight shining through so he went home & erected a small evergreen in his home & decorated it to show his children.

Boniface has it all. Child sacrifice, a dark night, pagans, a rescue, miracles, the works. Martin Luther's is a much tamer legend. Can't say I really believe either one were the definitive way Christmas trees came to be used to celebrate the birth of Christ. They had been used by non-Christian cultures for years to represent eternal life. I think they are a fitting way to symbolize the birth of the One who has given us the promise of eternal life with God...but I also figure it was a way to "Christianize" a pagan ritual much like having Christmas in place of Winter Solstice & Easter in place of Spring Solstice (although with Passover being there to mark the actual time of the Resurrection, I'm pretty sure it's happening at the right time each year).

Next Inkling asks: What one tradition do you work hard to keep going, even when you do Christmas away from extended family?

The Christmas Story read from the book of Luke. Even if we don't get to it until after the gifts are opened, I have to hear it read aloud every year. It just isn't Christmas without, "In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world."

And she finished off with: What do you do when you don't feel in the Christmas mood? What helps you get in the mood for celebrating the season? Do you ever fake it until you make it?

I'll start off answering the last question first. Yes, I often have to fake it until I make it. I've had many years when being away from family or illness or financial strain has kept me from really feeling the Christmas Spirit. There are a few things I do to kick start myself if even just to make the days happier for the FarmHands (but it usually rubs off on me). #1. Listen to old Christmas carols. Nothing new or contemporary. QM has enough Christmas music to play for days, so I've inherited some of that. I put on a CD & blare it while I clean the kitchen. #2. Bake something. It really doesn't matter what, but something with cinnamon in it helps. #3. Watch It's a Wonderful Life, White Christmas, or the Charlie Brown Christmas Special with the lights down, a big bowl of popcorn, a fluffy blanket, and the phone shut off. After all that, I'm usually in the mood...if that doesn't cut it, read that passage in Luke aloud, pull out your hidden bottle of Tabu & take a sniff, then have a good cry. You'll get there. I touched on this last year during a tough day.

Kork wants to know: If you absolutely had to choose, what would your Christmas dinner consist of, why, and this is absolutely a "bad-stuff" free meal - meaning, you could have whatever you wanted, and you'd have no ill effects from ingredients containing fat, sugar, cholesterol, etc...

First off, plates and plates of Grandma M&M's fudge, then lots deep fried turkey, roasted chicken, ham, and chicken and noodles, Mountains of mashed potatoes & sweet corn with butter floating in it, pans of cranberry salad, bowls of green beans with ham & onions mixed in, Beef House rolls, Apple salad, Aunt Anita's broccoli casserole, and blackberry cobbler with half & half, pecan pie, chess pie, apple crisp, and gallons of sweet tea. Now I'm homesick.

Art asks: What is your favorite carol and why?

I have to say I adore traditional carols. I could go Christmas caroling & never need a song book. There are very few I don't love. But there's one, and it's much more contemporary than I'd like to admit, that really speaks to me no matter how many times I hear it. I'll save some space & post a link to the lyrics here. It's called Still Her Little Child & it was written by Ray Boltz & Steve Millikan. The song talks about Mary & that no matter what Jesus grew to be, he was always her child. I was listening to it a few days ago in the car & started to cry. As a mother, it hits me hard every time I hear it.

Art's second question is a bit harder to answer. What is your favorite Christmas memory?

That's a tough one. I think in all fairness I have to admit to a few favorite memories. One I posted about 2 years ago. Another involves the other side of my family. Christmas day was normally spent at Busha & Bucka's when I was little. They lived 2 1/2 hours to our north. Things there were normally a bit more rambunctious than they were at Grandma M&M's. There were more cousins my age and more aunts & uncles & they are just a louder bunch in general.

One year my aunt (QM's little sister) had asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I think I was about 7 years old & my heart's desire was a wedding bouquet. She promised to make me one & much to my delight, there was a huge box under the tree with my name on it. Not only did she make me a beautiful giant silk bouquet, but she also made a smaller one for the bridesmaid to carry. After we all opened our gifts, she took me in the back bedroom & gave me her wedding dress & a bridesmaid dress from a wedding she'd been in. I could have died from happiness right then & there. My little seven year old heart was bursting.

I quickly wrangled all my cousins up & we spent the entire day playing wedding. We each took turns being the bride, groom, and preacher complete with some of Bucka's shirts, ties, and sports coats. I don't know how many weddings we had or how long we played, but it seemed like hours. At one point one of my cousins was hesitant to play the groom & Uncle Gick came out with an (unloaded) shot gun to persuade him to walk down the aisle. My main memory of that day is laughter & joy for everyone from the youngest to the oldest.

So that's it. I have now answered all your questions to the best of my ability. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

Curiosity & Cookies

Gail, Pfefferneuse are (if my understanding is right) German Christmas cookies. They're also called Peppernuts because, well, that's what they look like. Little nuts. They're highly spiced & the best way to make them, is to mix your dough around Thanksgiving time & let it lounge around your fridge until just before Christmas so the spices meld together nicely. Then you roll the dough out & cut it in bite sized bits & bake it. They're a bit hard on the outside (like a nut) but wonderful! I'm off to post the recipe on wha'cha got cookin'? for anyone interested (anyone interested in posting over there, let me know & I'll get you set up. There can never be too many cooks in that kitchen).

There are many different variations of the recipe, but I'm going to post my favorite. Here's the link: Old Fashioned Pfefferneuse Enjoy!

And since Gail started us off on the right foot this week, let's keep the ball rolling. It's Ask FarmWife time again! Hit me!

How I spent Black Friday.

I'm feeling better. What ever was going on with my stomach was temporary. Thank the Lord!

Yesterday the boys & I spent the better part of the day at Uncle Gick & Unkie Di's visiting with my cousin & his wife & Unkie Di's family. BabyGirl didn't want to get dressed, so she stayed at home with her dad. I learned 2 things yesterday. #1. Black Russian cake is good. #2. Guitar Hero scares me. I have zero hand eye coordination and escaped before they made me play it & make a complete fool of myself! :)

Today I plan on digging us out from under the piles that accumulated while we were gone (how does that happen?) and making something requiring the use of my new Kitchen Aid mixer (see post below). Inkling called me yesterday after reading what FarmBoy had done for our anniversary. I told her it really says something about us when the most romantic thing either one of us had ever heard of was my husband braving Black Friday to surprise me with a mixer. Are we getting old? You might not want to answer that.

Tonight QM & Daddy are coming down & baby sitting the FarmHands so Husband & I can go on an actual date! Where to go & what to do are still undecided. Husband says he's not driving all the way to Evansville (an hour & 20 minutes away...this announcement does not shock me) so I shall have to resign myself to more local entertainment. Right now dinner & a movie are the grand plan. Where to eat is the current debate. I really don't want to eat fast food. I could deal with Pizza. I'd love Chinese, but Husbnad can't hack it. Mexican? Hmmmm....that's a possibility. Maybe we'll meander through the park & look at the Christmas lights. Nothing announces the birth of our Savior like the cast of King of the Hill painted on plywood cut outs.

For now I shall leave you with a B.B. anecdote. Unkie Di's nephew was at their house yesterday with his two little girls. The oldest, JL, is almost 3 I think. She so wanted my boys to play with her, but wasn't sure how to go about getting their attention. After we'd been there a while, they all needed to go sit on the patio & swing. I got them all zipped up & hooded & told them they were not allowed to leave the concrete & went back in to visit (there were adults in & out of the house the entire time, so they were not truly left unattended). JL sat next to B.B. while #1 Son pushed them in the big porch swing. They must have been out there for an hour or better. The men decided to get out the .22 & go shoot at soda cans (these were all city boys visiting the country) and my boys needed to go watch. JL immediately decided she wasn't going to be left behind. She tagged along never getting far from the little boys.

When it came time for us to leave, B.B. got upset. "Why can't I stay & play with that girl? I like that girl. I want to stay here & play with her!" I told him we needed to get home but she was staying at Unkie Di's. "But I LIKE her, Mom! Her doesn't even hurt me!"

Yeah FarmBoy!

You know how I've been obsessing over the apple green Kitchen Aid mixer lately? Apparently Husband noticed too. When I woke up this morning (our eleventh wedding anniversary) this was sitting on my kitchen counter:

It's not apple green & it's not the biggest mixer Kitchen Aid makes, but to be honest, the one I was lusting after was way more mixer than I need. This one is just the right size for me & the white matches everything & always will (in 15 years, Apple Green may be the new Harvest Gold). And making it even better, my Husband, the man who hates to shop, got up (with out my knowledge) at 4:19 and went to Wal-Mart to face the crazy Black Friday crowds and saved $68 on it! I knew he'd left the bed room, but because I spent part of the night in the recliner with stomach problems, it didn't really phase me. He was back in bed by 5:40.

Can't help lovin' that man of mine.

We had a wonderful visit yesterday at Grandma M&M's house. My folks, Inkling's folks, & her youngest brother & his family were all there as were Uncle Greenteeth & Aunt Anita, Aunt LV (Grandma's sister) and her daughter & son-in-law. I hadn't seen Inkling's youngest brother since before Bitsy was born. She was very interested in their littlest one (BP). Aunt Anita was holding BP when she began to suspect his diaper was in need of changing. She showed him to me to confirm her suspicions. I checked his pants & said, "Yup, BP. You've pooped." This piqued Bitsy's interest. Although she refused to talk to anyone yesterday, she went around & pointed & gestured & told everyone that Baby BP pooped in his diaper. Fascinating.

The kids all put on their matching jammies & had their pictures taken with G'ma & G'pa M&M and then with FarmBoy & me. Hopefully we got one for the Christmas cards. The picture below is Bitsy & me in our matching jammies. I love them!! I may live in them all winter.

The only damper on the day was my stomach. I've been having trouble on & off for the last week (not pregnant). Wednesday night it felt like everything I swallowed stayed in my esophagus. Yesterday the feeling continued. So even though there was a magnificent spread & I was so hungry for deep fried turkey, cranberry salad, mashed potatoes, green beans, Aunt Anita's broccoli casserole, sweet corn, dressing, and hot rolls (yum....), I ate about 5 bites & couldn't swallow any more. I was not happy. But my cousins packed up my plate so I could bring it home. I didn't even attempt the (beautiful) pecan pie. :(

Because of my stomach issues, I'm not sure how we're going to celebrate our anniversary. We have decided to wait until tomorrow to go out so QM & Daddy can watch the FarmHands. Their Uncle Little BIL wants to take them to see Bolt, so we might do that today.

I hope you all had wonderful Thanksgivings! I'm off to gaze happily at my new mixer & enjoy the beginning of our 12th year together.

FarmWife Answers

Welcome back all my answer seeking darlings! I have wisdom to spread. Pull up a monitor & prepare to be amazed.

Inkling asks (even though she later said I am not required to answer): Is it sacrilegious to have roast chicken on Thanksgiving?

No. Not at all. I think Grandpa M&M would be thrilled with the idea...not that Grandpa M&M is God & has a say in all things sacrilegious or anything....but he is an Elder at the church...and he does pray at every family meal, so I'm pretty sure he knows a thing or two about God's feelings on turkey.

Then she gets evil with me & queries: If you did find out your doctor didn't truly know how to tie knots....1. what would you name child #5, and 2. how much would your lawsuit request, and 3. what would you do with it (you must include a visit to Canada)

#1. I've always wanted to name a baby girl Keturah or Tirzah but would have to be a single mother to be allowed to & I'm not willing to off my husband just to win the baby name argument. And I've always wanted to name a baby boy Nathanial or Matthias. But none are reason enough to procreate again!
#2. Enough to supply me with an apple green Kitchen Aid Mixer, Sun room, 3 more bed rooms, a 2 car garage with bonus room, my own ATV, and maid & nanny service for life....plus a stipend for Spa Days.
#3. Oh, I think I just answered my own question. I'll throw in a Daudi House (a mother-in-law suite), yearly plane tickets to anywhere I want to visit (Canada being first on my list), and enough money for Husband to become a Kept Man (think Mark Consuelos...aka Mr. Kelly Rippa).

Kork asks a tough one that many many mothers have to face in their lifetime: How, precisely do you tell your MIL to butt out when you're having a disciplinary session with your 29 month old son? How do you explain to said son that Grandma has WAAAAAYYYYY different rules than at home, and to "buck up little camper" because we'll be home soon enough and he can rule the roost once again?

I've honestly not had this issue arise with my MIL, but I don't spend a great deal of time around her. I have had to deal with it with my SIL (who has mental problems) and it wasn't pretty. It went something like:
Me-Please let me handle this.
Her- (still trying to discipline my child)
Me- That's it. Stop now. I am ____'s mother & I will take care of it.
Her- Mom! You make that B___ shut up now! Mom!! You better do something about her now!
Me- (walk out with my children in tow)

Now that that's over, I know you cannot have a row over this because you're staying at her house. I do have to agree with Gail & say to Captain Chaos, "Grandma's house. Grandma's rules. Our house. Our rules." I know at just over 2 years old this isn't an easy concept to grasp, but he's bright. I'm sure he'll figure it out before time to board the plane for home!

As far as how to handle your MIL, I would, in my best Mommy's-the-boss voice that I use with my children say, "Thanks. I've got him. This will only take a minute," and take him in the next room if necessary. Be gracious & calm and remember, you will soon be back in your own nest. If it becomes a real problem, my rule is His mom, his battle. Tell B.B. what's going on & that you expect him to handle it so you don't have to be the bad guy.

Zann asks: Is there any way to cook a whole small roasting chicken (bones and all that) in a crockpot?

I can't say I've ever tried to cook a chicken in the crock-pot unless I was cooking it down to use in another recipe. That's how I cook my chickens for chicken pot-pie or chicken & noodles. But I do have a Fix It and Forget It cook book (I highly recommend this for anyone who uses their crock pot frequently).

Here's one that sounds good:

Chicken in a Pot

2 carrots, sliced
2 Onions, sliced
2 celery ribs, cut in 1 inch pieces
3 lbs. Chicken, whole or cut up
2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp coarse black pepper
1 tsp dried basil
1/2 C. water, chicken broth, or white cooking wine

Place veggies in bottom of slow cooker. Place Chicken on top of veggies. Add seasoning & water.
Cover. Cook on low 8-10 hours or High 3 1/2 to 5 hours (use 1 C. liquid if cooking on high). If cooking as a full meal, add 2 med. sized quartered potatoes to veggies before cooking.

iVillage has a crock pot section you might find useful: http://food.ivillage.com/cooking/slowcooker/0,,9wqt,00.html

Zann also asks: What's a yummy but healthy cookie recipe?

This is not my area of expertise. Inkling may have something up her sleeve on this one, but I personally am a butter & sugar kind of gal. The more of both, the better. I'm currently attempting to eat an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies by myself.

I'm also a fan of persimmon cookies. Uncle E & Aunt C make them & they're wonderful. I don't have their recipe, but this one looks yummy. Do you have persimmons near you?

I googled Healthy Cookie Recipes & was lead to a blog with a wonderful recipe on it. I really think you should give it a try & let us all know how it turns out. It looks fabulously decadent, but chocked full of good stuff.

That's it for the questions today. So now onto what I have accomplished today (you knew I'd get to that didn't you?).

By 9 o'clock I had loaded & run the dish washer & washed all the big stuff by hand, stripped the boys beds & had the washer going, vacuumed half the living room & had husband move the furniture back onto it (we shampooed half the carpet yesterday), vacuumed the other half & shampooed the carpet on the empty side. I have to finish with the bedding & wipe down the bathroom. The kitchen floor could use a quick sweep & then I plan on finishing the ornament I'm cross stitching for Grandma M&M's tree. After that I'll veg out with Little Women or what ever Netflix sends in the mail today (yes, we subscribed. Husband couldn't deal with the no TV thing & 75% our DVD's are animated).

Oh, and in wonderfully fabulous news, my dental insurance approved the removal of my other three wisdom teeth. So December 19th I'll be having 2 more pulled & the one impacted tooth cut out. Yeah me. But, Husband will be off work from then until after the first of the year, so I can lay around with my ice packs, pain killers, and creamy tomato soup.

I'm Ready! I'm Ready! I'm Ready! *Updated*

For those of you with small children obsessed with Spongebob, you know exactly how to read that title. For those of you unfamiliar with Spongebob, count your lucky stars!



Husband and I hit the grocery early this week so I don't have to send him alone or try to go while doped up on painkillers. I am now well supplied with homemade applesauce, vanilla ice cream (I was going to get some Ben & Jerry's but then I realized I wouldn't want to chew up the chocolate chunks. Bummer), lots of soups, yogurt, pudding, jell-o, oatmeal, cranberry jelly, potatoes to mash, and eggs to scramble not to mention enough ibuprofen to knock out a small horse, tea bags to pack in my gums in place of the gauze (a hint from the nurse of an oral surgeon) ,Carmex (dental work does nasty things to my lips), and alcohol to make ice packs with (a tip from someone on a mothering message board. You take 1 C. water & 1 C. rubbing alcohol & mix them together in a zip-lock bag & freeze. The alcohol keeps it from freezing solid so you get a nifty gel ice pack like you buy at a medical supply place. I'm trying it now. I'll tell you how it works later). My Zune is charged & I have a special play list made to keep my thoughts positive & prayerful. Directions to the office are printed & ready to go. Busha will be here just after 8 tomorrow morning to drive me. QM will be here maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow before Husband leaves for work. I. Am. Ready.

I forgot to mention that I voted today. I am now allowed to complain & gripe for the next 4 years if I don't agree with what the president does. If you don't vote, I don't think you have the right to complain.

I also stocked up on food that Husband can prepare with little to no effort so my children don't starve. OK, so QM will be here & she can cook, but I wanted to be ready anyway. Then when she goes home I can still take it easy for a while...like the next month or two.

FarmWife Answers

Kork starts off the fun this week with: What is your take on Organic for Baby? Inkling I know how you feel...and I'm curious how Farmie feels about going organic and green, being in the middle of the Midwest as she is.

Oddly enough, being in the Midwest (surrounded by farm land & all things good in nature) organic is not a word you hear often around here. Yeah, you can get Gerber Organics at Wal-Mart and a few select fruits & veggies that are certified organic in the produce section, but it's rather limited. Honestly I haven't given organic a great deal of thought. Maybe if it were more readily available or didn't cost twice what "regular" food does around here, I'd have considered it closer....and maybe if Kraft Mac & Cheese were organic....no, really, I think if you have the resources Organic is good. Just be careful what you decide to invest in. There are many things that being organic doesn't really change. And things that may say organic, but aren't really. Research.

And in a similar thread, Zann asks: Why is it that organic milk in the smaller containers lasts for...like forever.. but the larger jugs only last the same amount of time as regular milk? What is so special about those smaller cartons?

Um...Can't say I knew this was an issue. I used to buy Lactaid milk (during a time I believed I was lactose intolerant...turns out it's more of a sugar-in-great-amounts intolerance) and it was "ultra pasteurized." That milk would keep for weeks if unopened. Turns out, it's the same with Organic milk. According to Scientific America, UHT (ultra high temp. pasteurization) is used on organic milk because often times it must travel farther than regular milk to get to consumers. You may want to check the larger containers to see if they're marked ultra pasteurized, or if they're done the old fashioned way. (Incidentally ultra pasteurizing can also cause a sweeter taste in the milk which is why it's not done to all types of milk.)

Oddly enough, this is an article I found while Googling Organic Milk. It's an older article, but then this one showed up as well. It sounds like the rules for Organic milk are rather vague & easily avoided and there is no actual difference between organic and non-organic milk in make-up. It's all about the cows, not the milk.

An unnamed reader asks: Why does sticking your finger in coke fizz cause it to dissipate quicker?

My uneducated guess would be that your finger gives resistance to the tiny bubbles & breaks their surface tension quicker than if they're left alone. According to Self Serve Science, the oil in your skin may make the difference. But they also suggest pouring into a slightly wet glass. The dust & detergent that builds up on the surface of a glass act as a surface for bubble formation. If the glass is newly rinsed, this shouldn't be a factor.

Inkling starts us off with a pregnancy question: Why was chai tea okay to drink when I wasn't pregnant, and I loved it, and why does it cause me in this glorious beginning of the third trimester to feel like puking is imminent? Is there some weird chemical or spice that is contraindicated in pregnancy or something?

I have to say, I doubt it has anything to do with spices or chemicals. I think what you are experiencing is a food aversion. Plain & simple. With B.B. I couldn't stand the sight of Chinese food. With my other three pregnancies, I could have eaten it every day. With B.B. (in the second trimester) almost any liquid made me sick at my stomach. I could eat with no problem. I could drink if I was eating. But I could not sit down with a glass of anything & just drink it. It's a wonder I wasn't perpetually dehydrated.

Her second question is one I'd really rather not answer for fear of terrifying the poor girl. But, she asked and I'm obligated. That whole pubic bone softening thing that causes one to feel as if her bone down there is separating in two with each step is kind of painful. How long does it last? Why is it so painful? And does it cause pain when it's getting back to its normal state post-delivery?

Good news first: I don't remember pain post-delivery as the bones are shifting back. But then, it may have been over shadowed by the pain that comes naturally with post-delivery.

And now for the crappy news: Uh, it's going to last until Grasshopper gets here if you're like me. With BabyGirl the pain began when I was 39 weeks along. I delivered her at 41 weeks, so I only had 2 weeks of agony with each step. With #1 Son it began at about 36 weeks. With B.B. at 32. With Bitsy I think it began around the moment of conception.

It's actually the ligaments loosening up to allow the pelvic bone to spread so Grasshopper's (hopefully bullet shaped) head will have room to descend. As to why it's so painful, I think it's an individual thing. Since it hurt like the devil for me, and you are also in pain, I'd guess we can blame it on Grandma and Grandpa M&M's genetic make-up.

I can tell you, laying down makes it worse. If you have a recliner, try sleeping in it instead of your bed. If not, invest in pillows. Lots & lots of pillows. At least 2 under your head (because it's going to start happening in your rib cage soon & that will make it painful to breath if you're laying on your left side with only one pillow under your noggin), and a big fat one between your knees. That will help support your hips & lessen the pain.

She also asks: Where did "shake your booty" arise from anyway? Didn't booty once mean a type of loot? So when did it start referring to the nether regions of a woman's backside?

While I can't seem to find out exactly how the change came about, I did find information that states booty has been slang for buttocks since the 1920's. It's possible that it's a shortened form of bottom. The "Shake your booty" thing you can credit to KC and the Sunshine Band's 1976 #1 Hit song.

So that's it for this week's episode of Ask FarmWife. Maybe by next week I'll have made a button I'm happy with. We'll see.

It's the Best Day Ever!!

At least that's what the FarmHands told me while they were taking their baths tonight. Although there was a stipulation. They were worried the movie we were about to watch (The Borrowers) wouldn't be good & that would make it only one of the best days ever. So far they seem to like it. No one's moved in 15 minutes, so maybe it's still all good.


Everyone got up & got ready for church this morning happily for a change. The boys didn't want to wear t-shirts under their long sleeve shirts until I told them they would be secret shirts. Then they were thrilled. They were all excited that they didn't have to dress up for church.


They behaved themselves all through Sunday School & Worship Service, then they got to color on little gourds during Children's Church. So exciting! After church, we all had pizza from the local gas station in the fellowship hall. It's the kids favorite, so they were on cloud nine. I was pretty happy myself because I got two slices of supreme which I never get because no one in my family will touch onions & green peppers on their pizza.


After pizza, the entire church loaded up & headed to the pumpkin patch. It's not a huge place, but they had a ton of stuff for the kids to do. Slides, treasure dig, corn maze, dark hay maze, a little hay maze for the kids, a gourd sling shot, hay rides, wagon train rides behind an ATV, & a corn room (seriously, a room about 8 inches deep in dried corn). They LOVED it. Once that was over, they each picked a pumpkin & we headed to get ice cream.

I have just discovered the wonderful world of Dairy Dee. And can I just say....YUMMY!! Needlefingers & Pilot rave about it, but we've never been. I can tell you, we'll be making that trip again in the future. They had lemon ice cream that (while not quite Custard Cup) was heavenly! Even Husband said it was probably the best ice cream he'd ever had.





After a drive home through the country, we carved the newly acquired pumpkins on the picnic table. BabyGirl's is the tall one, #1 Son's is shorter, and B.B. has the little on in the middle. I didn't think his would hold up to carving very well, so we decided to draw it's face. I did the eyes & went to put Bitsy in the bath. B.B. decided to do the mouth all by himself...that's why it's so far off to the side. I did my best to cover the random scribble. He thought drawing on a pumpkin would be much easier than it was. He's thrilled with it, so I'm thrilled with it. The picture without a flash isn't great, but it shows their faces a bit better.

Now we keep having to go outside to check on the jack-o-lanterns. Barefoot. In the cold.

NM, RL, and Beffie are plotting evil against Hank. For those of you who don't know, they are Husband's cousins (ranging in ages from 23 to 17) and Hank is Husband's truck. I know what they're planning & it's brilliant. Husband knows they're plotting but not what & it's making him crazy. He's very worried about Hank. He said he's going to hide his truck. I've assured him that won't help, but he's not listening to me.

It's all about revenge. NM got a brand new car a few months ago. One of the first days he drove it to work, Husband put a note under the wipers that said, "Sorry about the scratch," and had our phone number underneath it. NM & Uncle E didn't recognize the number at first & NM got a bit panicked. He started looking over his new car very upset that someone had already scratched it. After a minute his dad said, "Read that again." When NM read the phone number, Uncle E said, "That's FarmBoy's phone number!" NM's been looking for an opportunity to get Husband back ever since.

If they pull it off, I'll tell you all about it later!